Escape to the Movies: I Am Number Four

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I Am Number Four

This week, Moviebob reviews a surprisingly likable movie adaptation of I Am Number Four.

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Oh god. High School drama...Not more High School drama!

Bulk & Skull had fantastic theme music, btw.

Nah nah that's not smallville that's roswelll

First I was shocked by Stephen Fry as a tag... lol

Sad that Timothy Olyphant wasn't mentioned once.

I keep hoping he'll get a supremely awesome breakout role that'll land him more flicks. Pipe dreams I guess.

Happy Birthday Bob!

The Trailers gave off a really pretentious vibe for me. Glad to see my assumptions were not unfounded.
Happy Birthday to Bob and Joel! :D

Edit: 154 days till Captain America and counting

Happy birthday in advance!
Now this is annoying, should I watch it or not? *Remembers Michael Bay directed it* Eeh, I think I'll pass...

why was Stephen Fry a tag?

Also from what i remember of it the book, it was piss-poor. Not holding up much for this, still, looks better than Twilight.

I've yet to see any advertisement for this movie. I doubt I'll watch it at the cinema but when it's released on DVD I might just pick it up...

Also, Captain America. Oh yes!

Problem is that we are getting older. As older individual I look for films that are not the same thing I watched when I was 15. You also don't want characters to be blend, moronic and predictable. No amount of special effects works for me.

Happy Birthday, Bob! Great review. I find your stuff entertaining.

Probably Stephen Fry is a misplaced tag since one of the two fellows writing the book is named Frye. I'm sure they'll fix that at some point. I wish I could see MovieBob review a movie that had Stephen Fry in it. That'd be sweet.

Early Happy Birthday!

And also... Bob almost recommending a Michael Bay movie? Is it Armageddon yet?

Man, Bob, what would you do if The Question had never been created?

If its as good as masters of the universe i'm in, especially as long as theres no sparkling vampires or nintendog werewolves, the worst and most degrading and harrowing things in cinema in the last 10 years, and i'm including serbian film in that.

i'm hitting youtube to watch some saved by the bell.

Yeah. I'll wait, and rent it. This seems like the kinda movie that works better as a rental kinda deal. Where you can enjoy it as sorta background news and pictures while doing half this stuff with friends and talking.

... Or as one of those made-for-tv movies they show on TNT/USA. Like the Librarian series.

Still amazed you haven't reviewed Sanctum yet. Especially since it's a James Cameron movie and it's been out 2 weeks already in IMAX 3-D.

As long as nobody sparkles, I'm cool with this taking over from Twilight.

Seeing the trailer and stuff I thought the action elements looked pretty cool but I don't think I have the patience to sit through a high school drama 1st half without having to rip my own face off out of sheer irritated boredom so cheers for the warning Bob, I'll give this one a miss.

For some reason the only thing I can think of when I see reviews and trailers for this is the movie 'The Covenant.'

Yeah, remember that steaming pile of shit?

So basically this is one I'm going to wait until it's a two quid DVD from TESCOs before buying.

And what the fuck is a riblecia Captcha?

Nah nah that's not smallville that's roswelll

This was my first thought as well. All the previews had me thinking of this as basically, 'Roswell: The Movie'

Fun review as always. This'll probably end up as a rental once it makes its way to video.

I'll watch it when it's discount binned. But other than that doesn't seem like it's worth my full $10.

Must say, with all the mentions of kamehamehas and DBZ picture it has piqued my inner adolescent.

Happy birthday in 2 days dude. Keep up the good work.

Happy birthday in advance!
Now this is annoying, should I watch it or not? *Remembers Michael Bay directed it* Eeh, I think I'll pass...

The creepy part is that the movie's strong point seems to be from Michael Bay doing what he does best. According to this review, it seems to be that he tries something new, fails miserably, then goes "Fuck it" and goes back to explosions and lazers.

Well, I wasn't gonna see it, and the lukewarm review from Moviebob isn't helping the chances. I get the feeling that somewhere out there is one of his previously mentioned Similar Movies That Did The Same Thing But Better. Anyone able to confirm this?

So basically, Boy Meets World Meets Roswell Meets Aliens Meets Michael Bay..

..Train-wreck dead ahead, much? -_-

I'll wait for it to be on netflix later in the year.

Captain America movie poster: LIKE A M*TH*RF*CK*NG BOSS!!!

If this becomes popular enough to warrant its own fanbase, I can't wait to see turf wars break out between the teen drama fans and the Michael Bay fans.

As long as nobody sparkles, I'm cool with this taking over from Twilight.

Twilight and this have similar age ranges that they're targeting, but No. 4 has primarily male gaze while Twilight was female gaze and is one of the only ones of its kind even trying to have some sort of female gaze that isn't something like 'The Notebook'.

So while No. 4's premise has been done to death in the movies Twilight's really hasn't, and though Twilight was so incredibly poor it was only one of a few straws for many female audiences to grasp on. No. 4 is not going to take its place in that regard.

The Long Road:
Well, I wasn't gonna see it, and the lukewarm review from Moviebob isn't helping the chances. I get the feeling that somewhere out there is one of his previously mentioned Similar Movies That Did The Same Thing But Better. Anyone able to confirm this?

You are thinking of JUMPER, starring Manikin Skyskywalker himself, Hayden Cardboard Box.

Yeah, why do they have to be killed in numerical order? The trailers mentioned this and I've been confused by it. Do the bad guys suffer from OCD? What is it like an army of alien Adrien Monks from the show MONK?

Actually that sounds pretty good.

Definitely going to see this one, but mainly because I'll watch pretty much anything with superpowers.

I'm letting this one go by, since I still have to see Scott Pilgrim and Inception.

Happy upcoming birthday btw

I think the issue is largely that teen Drama is written by a bunch of guys who were in high school decades ago, at a time when the entire face of the school system has changed radically over that time instead of remaining as relatively static as it used to. In cases where someone involved in doing a movie like this *DOES* have a clue about the material they are writing, there are concerns over content from the same older crowd that doesn't get it, and thus there is a lot of editing.

Oh sure, there are a lot of cliques and such, and some social lines are still more or less the same as they used to be. However I think people tend to overlook the extent to which bullying is taken, the level of personal armament in schools just for general protection, not to mention being part of the whole gang/drug subculture. Where at one time a school might have a "dark history" if it had ONE student that died, today things like teen suicides, drug killings, or even just muggings gone horribly wrong (like a kid stabbed to death over pokemon cards... albiet that was JR. High if I remember), your ridiculously lucky if your school doesn't have a fatality or three every year, and if your school has *NEVER* had one, that is like the absolute epitome of luck today.

This is not even getting into the issue of school shootings, which are a scary thing, because they are a reaction to a system nobody wants to change. Above and beyond the whole issue of a bunch of nerds coming to school with guns and cutting loose, there is also the much-sidestepped issue of the entire system and social order that caused these things to happen.

The point here being that the whole "Saved By The Bell" schtick might have worked decades ago, especially for those not yet in high school who see it as something magical to look forward to, but for an actual teen or late pre-teen audience who lives in the real world? Not really. Enforcing those tropes as a way of establishing normality doesn't work, because really today the biggest problems facing kids in schools is usually not things like bullies, and when it DOES involve bullies it's typically beyond the pale getting into levels of torture and torment that people generally don't want to think about. In a school your not likely to have like one jock doing steroids, or a couple of druggies, but entire organizations and inherant subcultures built around those things, including beatings, shootings, stabbings or just the prescence of weapons connected to it. Today's issue isn't so much "OMG that kid on the football team is doing 'roids secretly" it's a matter of them all doing it, and things like one of them not being able to pay his bills and getting beaten up or killed, or someone deciding to cut corners by tampering with the garbage they are distributing.

This is long, and getting away from the entire point of "Number Four" here, I'm just pointing this out because it's all a big part of why I think teen drama has been an epic fail train recently, especially among an adult audience who can see it from the outside and don't want to delude themselves.

Honestly if someone was to take the time and write high school as it actually is nowadays for the backdrop of a story like this, I think that could work quite well. Plenty of ambigious stuff for a budding super hero to have to worry about without the old trope of "OMG, he's being bullied by guys he could handle easily. How does super-guy deal with the other kids who have guns in their lockers, and might need them to protect themselves? The drug and steroid distribution subculture? Girls selling themselves sexually/camwhoring for things? Especially when you look at how tight the net is and how pulling at one part of it causes reactions elswhere that can be even worse than the balancing act. In the end a super hero should of course win in the end, but you could do a LOT with that before the real super-bad guys show up... and really, that's what a teen drama should be today, especially if you want to provide analogies to real problems and solutions even beyond some kind of magic super hero thing.

That's my thoughts at any rate.

Also for the record, my early life was hardly normal, but I will say that from what I know of the school system from when I was there, and what I learned later, if I had the powers of say "Spider Man" I'm not sure exactly HOW I could solve a lot of the real problems with those abillities. As a writer though you can find ways, and truthfully I think that's part of the healing process is to get the fantasy going in the right direction.

I don't see why movies like this seem to think they have to have torturous 1st acts or play to so many cliches; why not start in the 2nd or 3rd act then have a less generic 1st act told throughout the movie, you know a little bit of "in medias res" would not go a miss. A movie like this could really work if it willfully subverted the tired old archetypes much like "Kick-Ass" did and have a few balls. Why go the "Clean-cut awkward teen becomes clean cut super-hero" if you are already in danger of pushing the Smallville or Buffy button? Speaking of buffy, that show managed to go some pretty fucked up places in it's time (homocidal lesbain junkie witches, abusive vampire relationships, actual sex etc), i think if it had tried to copy Buffy it would have been a better movie.

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