Zero Punctuation: MindJack

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never even heard of this game

Squeenix should have made a shooter based on The Spirits Within.

No, really! Spirits Within was a shit movie but it might have made a halfway decent video game.

It seems that these reviews are a lot funnier when either over-hyped games are called out or when the target game is actually very bad.

I'm sure this game sucks, but the idea for people to join in and control enemies sounds fun like in Perfect Dark.

I considered Gameflying it, if only out of morbid curiosity to see what they did so wrong. I might still, after the five years it'll take me to get through all the GOOD games.

On an aside: Congrats, Yahtzee! You went the entire vid without a single masturbation joke. Gold star

Wait a sec. How did you do a whole review on Mindjack and not mention the gun-toting cyborg monkeys? I saw them in several videos, and yes you can Mindjack/hack them as well.

And no they are nowhere near cool enough or funny enough to even give the game points, but they looked to be the most memorable thing about the whole bland affair.

So what have we learnt here? Square Enix needs to stay out of the FPS and TPS (Third Person Shooter) genres. They sucks.

Prod them away with fire pokers.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if that really is the twist the game is leading up to? It seems like it'd be an interesting twist if it was done well.

As soon as I saw the trailer I knew it'd suck.

Watch Ghost in the shell much mr game designer?

The fact you said at the end is something I always say to myself a lot, whenever I find a gameplay mechanic or original idea that turns out to be bad -
"Before you try out these unique ideas, ask yourself - is there a reason why this idea hasn't been done before?"

I guess you and I are starting to think alike, Yahtzee!

It could have been an awesome muliplayer game if they would have taken the NPC AI mechanic of Assassin's Creed brotherhood multiplayer and then let the players mindhack NPCs and jump from NPC to NPC like they showed in the japanese trailer for the game.

Lol had forgotten all about this game... Was kinda hoping for a MvsC3 review... But fat chance...

I logged on hoping to see a review of You Don't Know Jack, and got a lame review about ANOTHER generic third-person shooter, this time one I have never even heard of.

There are other genres! Try the other Jack game this week. The trivia game with the hilarious narrator that's just made for playing with friends! (oh wait, Yahtzee doesn't have any friends, and doesn't like playing games that aren't shooters)

The only thing I could focus on (besides the atrocious design of the game itself) was the fact that I kept having flashbacks to another recent Squeenix title (well, Squeenix commissioned and published): the shitty 3rd person shooter sections of Front Mission Evolved.

Anyone else reminded of the bread submarine by the fudge rocket?

Don't play the game because it's really bloody bad but if you want to be that stupid here is the link to amazon, gamestop or if you want to wait a few weeks and realise just how bad it is I bet you'll be able to get it pre-owned or on "sale" for less than £8.

Also I know yatzee isn't a big fan on handhelds but I'd be interested to hear his opinions on the 3DS when it's released.

So what have we learnt here? Square Enix needs to stay out of the FPS and TPS (Third Person Shooter) genres. They sucks.

Prod them away with fire pokers.

I hope you are wrong, because I just started playing Deus Ex two weeks ago, I think it is a good game despite being 10 years old, and it has gotten me all excited about Deus Ex: Human Revolution, a first person shooter being published by Square Enix.

The moment I saw "Mindjack", I knew this was going to be a glorious beat-down. Yahtzee never disappoints.

Well,SquareEnix had nothing to do with the DeusEX 1 and 2(Programmed by ION Storm published by Eidos) and they are only the publishers not developers of DEX 3,although they did the cut scenes.
I still have faith in DEX3 but...

I always wonder how and why completely pointless games like this get made. I mean, even if it's complete crap, it's probably not cheap to produce. I have to think that somewhere way back when there might have actually been some good concept that initiated this game, before it was destroyed.

Sometimes I feel bad for developers who make these things. I mean, this game was already barely on anyone's radar afaik. I saw a trailer for it randomly one day and that's been about it (the trailer looked terrible). To hear that on top of being a small poorly-advertised under the radar game that it's complete garbage makes me feel sad for it, but also bewildered.

So Mindjack is a game where people can enter your campaign game and troll you....*FLIPS TABLE OVER* I'd rather play nothing but the Bulletstorm demo for the rest of my life than this game.

Admittedly I hadn't even heard of MindJack before the review (and will definately stay away from it based on what I've now heard from Yahtzee and others). But I am curious as to whether Yahtzee guessed right about the plot twist of controlling a mindjacking element.

Mrhappyface 2:
This somewhat reminded me of a really buggy combination of Psi Ops, and The Nomad Soul when I first played it.

Loved psi ops if not just for the story...sadly it turned out it was a complete pile of plagarism and we never saw psi ops 2...

This game concept was already used a few times and a lot better :P Example? Messiah from 2000

Or Geist for the gamecube anyone?

Wow, it's rare to see Yahtzee review a game he unequivocally enjoyed and thought was high-quality!

Yahtzee Croshaw:

This week, Zero Punctuation makes its opinion on MindJack very very clear.

Watch Video

THANK YOU! Not really a first person shooter kinda guy, and the only reason to try this is to see how bad the game really was, but still it was funny and effective.

The fact you said at the end is something I always say to myself a lot, whenever I find a gameplay mechanic or original idea that turns out to be bad -
"Before you try out these unique ideas, ask yourself - is there a reason why this idea hasn't been done before?"

I guess you and I are starting to think alike, Yahtzee!

Than you need immediate therapy. I mean that in the nicest way possible with out malice.

Any who the new idea sounds like the only thing good going for it. Would you have preferred a clone of cain and lynch 2?

I was hoping this game would be good when I first heard of it, the idea of playing as a disembodied, shady figure controlling civilians to foil bank robberies and such sounded completely awesome.

Of course, all those hopes were curb-stomped by the trailers. And the reviews. Sheesh.

I actually did like the first trailer with the ultra-campy voiceover, but then they had to ruin it with robot monkeys (??) and Blandy McProtagonist the Blandth.

i was going to get this, but instead I got a Playstation 2.
I think I made the right choice.

You know I was almost about to impulse buy this game today however I decided not to as I may need to money later for buying hookers better things. I guess I made the right decision. That being said, I sort of had that idea in mind anyway. I watched Angry Joes review and read a few other reviews on the game and it looks like its been universally panned.

I don't usually buy my games completely based on others reviews but when I've seen the gameplay and read reviews that are most if not all negative and all pretty much rabbiting on about the same things... I kind of thing that I'd be better keeping my money.

Good thing you didn't buy it or you'd end up Mind Jack-ing off. (sorry for the bad pun)

It seems with the MP idea they said, "You know that game Demon's Souls where other people can help out during the single player game? Fuck that, let's do the opposite! Innovation!"

Even though Square Enix only published this game, it's making me wary of how Human Revolution will turn out. If they have faith in a game as bad as this I'm getting scared.

*slips out of the sewer*

Didn't actually hear of it, but glad that I didn't I guess.

But seriously, people have been giving you crap? It's easy! Anytime you actually say 'don't get it', then it's the negative. If you piss on it but never say 'don't get it' then it's mediocre and can be tried....*shrugs*

At least that's my take on it.

*goes back to the sewer*

It's sad really. I mean, the concept of a shooter with added mind control into the tactical flavour actually sounds really interesting, so it must take a REALLY sucky game to make that no fun. Just imagine all of the cool stuff you could do if a game premise like that was done properly:

If there were several enemies behind cover in close proximity to one another you could possess one, then get them to detonate a grenade martyrdom style and kill all the enemies in one move.

There could be stealth sections, and if a guard spots you you could possess him and make him radio in again saying it was a false alarm.

See, all you would really need is a decent plot, lots of fun angles to approach the mind control aspect from, and AI smart enough to level the playing field so the mind control doesn't make it too easy, and you've got a good game right there.

There is no excuse for a game with this much potential to suck.

What a waste of time and false hope of waiting for him to review a decent game, seriously.

Mindjack is pathetic. It's crap and horrible, AngryJoe has nailed down exactly why. This made me chuckle for a few but what a wasted week. Though bad games are always easy to rip on.

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