Zero Punctuation: Kinect

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews the Kinect.

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Wow. Yahtzee will have a LOT of work after this. Assuming he'll care at all and doesn't just ignore half the games. Which will probably end up being the case.

Another funny, incisive, witty, gently arousing video from the betrilby'd one.

I can honestly say that I didn't expect this one. I guess he might have been saving it for when he would need a break from another brown shooter.

Still funny, though.

Also, I have seen the entire thing, mods. Please don't polish the banhammer.

At least it has some other uses with the camera like not having to buy that stupid Xbox-Vision addon that failed after launch.

Unexpected, but I knew Ben had a problem with the Kinect for a while. I'm actually glad he made this, because I've always been wanting to see his thoughts in full on it.

It really does sound like gimmicky bullshit, but I don't get his problem with the lack of immersion or feedback. Not every game has to grab you by the scrotum and yank you into its world. I think the Wii and Kinect are supposed to keep you grounded in reality with the whole 'lol im playing a video game!' feel.

Then again, the idea of using a normal controller and some stuff that's motion control is a neat idea, but no developer will go for that because they would want to use and capitalize on the technology as much as possible.

That said, I wonder if BF3 or Arkham City will be next week?

Indeed I agree with your last thought about the use of Kinect. It will never be any good for games unless you have an easy way of moving around. So, sitting in your couch with a controller and from time to time doing some gestures seems more logical to me.

According to MS's advertising a subway station is recommended over a living room, that's probably why you had problems with its size requirement. I mean, who actual plays game in their living rooms today?

Combining ordinary controllers with Kinect? Let the controllers do all the moving and navigating, and leave Kinect with all the secondary movements? Now THAT'S a thought...

Okay, Batman A.C. is next week then.

Yahtzee doesn't like motion controls: Nothing new here.
well except his height and deification

Nominee for the next Pope: Yahtzee Croshaw.

Both the Kinect and the Move look awful, play awful, and are painful to use if you're taller than 6'1, or heavier than 250, or some weird combo. The Kinect refused to register half my movements because I'm 6'4 and 145 lbs. It thought I should either be wider or shorter, and adjusted things as such.

Wow nobody got banned this week, that's certainly a first

tee hee hee see what I did there

Yahtzee has pretty much summarized what I have always been saying about the Kinect:

"For gaming, the Kinect is nothing more than a gimmick. But for everything else (hand waving through interfaces and such) it is pretty awesome. At least it will be once they improve the recognition software."

Seriously, the Kinect's recognition software is crap unless you stand WITHIN THE DESIGNATED AREA!

Oh, how I love watching the comments that will inevitably result in Moderator wrath pile up at the start. you guys are like bloody lemmings, honestly.

Also, a dig at conservatives is always welcome.

And "riverdance down giant's causeway"? hillarious.

If you thought side-stepping was bad, try break-dancing =P

I loved "To turn you have to twist your shoulders like you're a passive aggressive person on the dance floor" really made me laugh.

I feel bad because the part that stuck out to me most is that Yahtzee spelled Kinect wrong in the opening sequence.

Well, that wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be.

A typo in the title screen? Lovely ;)

Awww, Child of Eden and Rise of Nightmares? What about Fruit Ninja Kinect? That sounds more like the kind of stuff Yahtzee would like.

Yahtzee is 6 foot 5, damn. I'm 6 foot 2 and I already tower over my friends.

More to the point, I kind of suspected that Yahtzee would eventually pick up a Kinect- but this still took a long time to materialize.
Also, Rise of Nightmares is a thing? Despite being marketed like crazy a few months back, I've never seen a game fall off the collective radar so quickly.

I cracked up at the "Well hello there, Councilor Troi" wanking scene (though I'm more of a Dr. Crusher fan myself).

I can't help thinking motion controls will be brilliant in five to ten years when developers have got he hang of them. I remember playing Doom with the keyboard and thinking mouselook was only for crazy people. Clearly the keyboard is faster and more precise and if you want to turn 180 degrees, the mouse is an absolute nightmare. And as for those useless little joysticks they tacked onto the PS controller... what was that all about?

Yahtzee is like the pope?

Well, from the way some fans treat him... :p

I knew he'd hate it, but still, it was funny. As always.

Using the controller for most the game and allowing you to use motion for secondary things that sounds a lot like what I've played on the Wii. And I've never that much trouble with the Kinect grated I've only played Kinect adventures but as long as I didn't cross my limbs over my body it read me fine.

at the end you were pretty much describing Steel battalion (the new one) mostly in this upcomeing game you use a proper hetrosexual controller but there are some moments where you need to use kinect to do certain actions.

I can see where Yahtzee is going with the lack of feedback, but that could be argued with games that rely on a traditional controller/keyboard+mouse. That big knife thing in "Silent Hill 2" is a good example of how it bounces off the wall and the only "feedback" you may get is a rumble of the controller.

However, one problem I do believe Yahtzee pointed out well is that these motion controls are not very accurate when compared to traditional controllers. I recently picked up "Lego Harry Potter" for the DS and I'm really frustrated with how inaccurate the game is with my touch-screen commands. The core mechanics of the game are appealing and fun, but I'm not having an enjoyable experience if I have to fight with the bloody controls to tell the game what I'm doing.

Plus this doesn't seem like its versatile for a variety of gamers. Yahtzee kind of hints that this might not be enjoyable for a gamer that isn't very healthy (or meant for long-term gaming that we're used too). In my case with that "Lego Harry Potter", tracing out the spells or working with the mini-games were difficult for me because I'm LEFT-HANDED, not RIGHT-HANDED. Yet I can't re-map the controls to let me move around with my right-hand, or even bypass the bloody stylus controls.

I know comparing stylus/touch-screen controls to motion controls may not be accurate ("see wat I did ther?"), but this video really reminded me of my experience with that "Harry Potter" game.

Combining ordinary controllers with Kinect? Let the controllers do all the moving and navigating, and leave Kinect with all the secondary movements? Now THAT'S a thought...

actually there is a game like that coming out. its the new steel battalion game.

This is what happens when you try and make sophisticated futuristic hardware for fifty bucks so you can run a profit off it.

"I don't know if you've ever tried standing off balance for however long it takes to drive a very slow forklift down a narrow corridor..."

The forklifts at work are standing ones... and you have to stand on a peddle in order to turn off the safety an drive... So Kinect is like my work, essentially.

Anyone else notice there was two n's in Kinect at the start?
Anyway, the only other really good title he could have played in time would have been Dark Souls, and judging by the Demons Souls review, that ain't going to happen- so shut yer gob all yous who keep tellin' 'im to play all these battlefields and batman games :P

The Only Time I found a Kinnect to be fun: At A party, where most people were in the kitchen/hall/lounge chatting, but the Main room (a massive 6x9m space) had a big BIG screen TV (like 2.5x1.5m) we put tape down on the floor where the kinnect zone was, and laughed at each other trying to play the different levels of some adventure game (white water rafting/cloud riding/fish bashing/roller coater riding)

Single player//small room// small TV = WASTE OF TIME.

Fun review, though unsurprising.

God I hope he trashes Arkham City next week...

Wow nobody got banned this week, that's certainly a first

tee hee hee see what I did there


Nice one, though.

Combining ordinary controllers with Kinect? Let the controllers do all the moving and navigating, and leave Kinect with all the secondary movements? Now THAT'S a thought...

I'm not good at detecting sarcasm on the internet, and therefore don't know what you're referring to or if you're not doing that (I can at least tell that the last sentence was purely sarcastic, I'm talking about the whole thing). That was the disclaimer. Now for my own sarcasm.

I agree, if only we has some sort of controller-based console that (when done right) saves motion control only for the areas for which it is suited. And maybe we could give it a hilarious name that starts with W, and only has three letters in it. Or starts with an M and has four. It's really too bad that no one has capitalized on this idea.

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