Zero Punctuation: E3 2012

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Nice to see yahtzee catch on to this pathetic obsession with showing FMVs to advertise games, a gripe I've had for the best part of 10 years. are the worst for this. You click on a trailer for a game and you can guarantee there won't be a single piece of gameplay footage, especially if it's a Japanese title.

But Dishonored showed more than just stabbings! It has great atmosphere and art design and jumpy maybe magicy bioshocky gameplay!

Too true. Yahtzee forgot to mention all the pushing your stabbing victims over after you stabbed them, some clenching of your left hand at random intervals an tossing the occasional grenade in the trailer as well.

As for the art design well I glad to see they were able to really use so many vibrant colors for the environment. There are so many shades of grey that other developers simply overlook but not Bethesda. Oh no they fully embrace grey in all its expansive array of depth and splendor that it brings a tear to my eye from the sheer beauty of the greyness of it being grey.

E3 Exposes the shittiness the large publishers have made created in the industry.

I don't see a point in even having E3 around anymore if they do nothing but have the same trailers as they release to the net, just with really expensive, stupid stage shows.

My God, those initials on the van were one HELL of a callback. That was (looks it up) the Haze review! He was still using other people's music back then!

Stab people with sideburns? Is there another new Prototype out?

One of the first time I agree with a Yathzee video. Congratulations.

Master chief with a tophat...DLC

Eh...he does know that Halo 4 showed us gameplay right? I'm ok with him not liking what he saw but it kind of annoys me when he says things about it that are flat out wrong. I mean look at this, around five minutes of gameplay right here.

He could have said that he didn't like it and I wouldn't have had a problem with it, but there's a difference between that and saying that it doesn't even exist.

well that was disappointing, i was expecting Yahtzee to be more bitter and jaded about E3 then i was

oh well .....

Hey man, you asked how, I told you. I understand what you mean but that is another view of the reboot that is held by many people in the industry and there is a reason for that. Just because you don't have a problem with it doesn't mean that other's don't have a reason to have issue.

Personally I don't think any judgement can be made until the actual finished project is out.


I Have No Idea:

waaaahhhhh the teaser trailers didn't have gameplay! yet there was still plenty of gameplay videos for dishonored and the new assassins creed and halo. obviously someone just skimmed E3 this year.

Welcome to Zero Punctuation? There's only so many things he can cram into a three minutes video, even if he talks like a squirrel hyped up on caffeine.

which would be fine but if his complaint is that there was no gameplay but yet there was then wtf is he doing?

To be fair there was no gameplay on display at the Ubisoft conference. There was gameplay on display in subsequent booths.

I am actually surprised that Yathzee didn't talk about all of the [email protected]@@ games that were displayed considering that several of those looked more promising then the AAA shooty mess that is MW, COD, and now DeadSpace3. I mean EON looks better then all that.

yes I get the irony that its a shooter.

Am I the only one to notice that Watch Dogs includes 2 of Yahtzee's pet-peeves? Namely, cover-based shooting (albiet, using cars rather than waist-high walls, but we only saw 10 minutes of the game) and pre-baked finishing moves.

Well, in his Deus Ex: Human Revolution review he called those things the "two inoperable cancers of modern action gaming", but he still mostly liked that game. I guess Watch Dogs does enough other things well. The hacking does look pretty sweet.

The thing is Hitman absolution has already had about 20 minutes of solid gameplay released to the public months and months before E3. They're not hiding anything, and it actually looks pretty good.

Even if it doesn't necessarily look like Hitman.

Also I'm more excited for the last of us than Watchdogs. Don't get me wrong Watchdogs looks great, it's just if it's too freeflowing, like GTA. I think I'd get bored and wonder off.

E3 episode, did,t expext that then I remembered he used to do these.

I liked the part about Dead Space being Lost Planet sequel, I didn't notice that earlier but it's really similar.

Other that I'm not interested in anything really, I tend to stick to publishers or franchises and search for info on my own rather than watch trailers for whatever is being hyped at the time.

I'm annoyed about that american pandering in AC though, in AC 1 both sides where dicks but no on cared, because nobody really identified with them but now its american revolution and all "america fuck yeah", hope it's only for marketing and the game won't have black and white sides.

That Watch Dogs game actually look kinda cool, the spying and hacking mechanics are awesome. I love the "probability of violence".


I can tell you what Dishonored is. It's steampunk Bioshock. With knives.

Also this British killing thing with AC3 is getting on my nerves too. It's not that I'm British and boo-hoo they keep killing us! No, it's the fact that Ubisoft promises the game isn't just pandering to Americans and enemies are on both sides of the war, yet all we have seen is the guy killing British soldiers... And his monologuing sounds like your average patriotic American rhetoric about freedom and blah blah blah. Yeah that doesn't sound like it's not taking sides at all. I'm trying to reserve judgement about the game but it still bothers me.

I agree. I am totally cool with killing British people, but what we have seen shows Connor just fighting redcoats.

One of my favourite aspects of AC1 was that you are fighting your own secret war, within the Crusaders vs. Saracens conflict and killing prominent members of both groups. It expanded what could have been a goodies vs. baddies concept into something more nuanced and real.

That's a fine line we haven't seen displayed at all in these trailers. Back to goodies and baddies I suppose :(

this may be just clinging onto hope pointlessly but i think the reason we haven't seen conner kill any Americans yet is because if they did that, you would get Fox News and all that bunch up in arms and there would be call for the Ban hammer ETC. Dose anyone really want to deal with all that?

Second, Watchdogs looks amazing!

Im im not going to touch Lara for hitman. Iv had enough of talking and or hearing about sexual politics for a while now :P

I will say this However, the whole "to get the player to become a white knight try and protect her" why should I? just because she's a woman doesn't mean men should try to protect her when Evidently from the dear and fighting all the gun toating men (and how come all the bad people are men?) she can take care of herself. She's a strong woman why should I need to go and protect her? just because im a man doesn't mean im a disposable shield to protect women from all the bad things in the world. the whole "white knight" thing is offensive to men aswell as women and frankly needs to go away.

okay that's it, got it out of my system :P

Michael Ellis:

She is being deliberately harrased to make us white knights care about her.

Wow, that's so inaccurate it's not even funny. And what, caring about a character suddenly became a perversion overnight while I was sleeping?

Sexualized=\=perversive FYI. Look into it. Got nothing more to say

Do I spy Yatzhee actually getting hyped for a game?

What? No mention at all about XCOM: Enemy Unknown from Yahtzee, OR the comments? For SHAME people! Where are all the strategy game enthusiasts nowadays? xD

The Artificially Prolonged:
Do I spy Yatzhee actually getting hyped for a game?

Only because it was of the few jems worth getting hyped up for... The rest are just homogenized fluffer material that fall in the pages before you get to the centerfold.

Don't get me wrong Watch Dog's looks like it will be amazing, but that's just it it looks that way. We wont know for sure until we are able to sink our teeth into it to be sure.

You go off on a tangent about how survival horror isn't represented in mainstream gaming, and then NOT mention ZombiU? You son of a bitch

Um, both AC3 and Dishonoured had extensive gameplay showings at E3. Did yahtzee not even bother trying to watch them and assume their weren't any? weird.

So how long do the kids need to be in your van again? Will you be offering them candy?

Well, ok, AC3's main trailer was one of their CGI ones, but in addition to that they did also have 3 separate gameplay demo's so it's a bit unfair to call them out.

Agreed. Did the fact that the gameplay previews have stabbing & shooting Englishmen make Yahtzee tune it out? At least ACIII: Liberation is set in New Orleans when it was still French territory, so he could stab & shoot Frnchmen in that one.
And yeah, I hate it when game trailers are too vague about what it's about. I still have no idea about the world in "The Last of Us"!

I am mostly looking forwars to Watchdogs, Far Cry 3, Assassins Creed 3, Dishonored and Resident Evil 6.

Watchdogs has a very interesting premise. Far Cry has always been a favorite of mine, with it's big open environments. Assassins Creed's story has always intrigued me, although I have a lot of catching up to do. Dishonored looks like a mixture of Bioshock, Half Life and Assassins Creed and lastly Resident Evil 6 looks like it's trying it's best to take the best of the old games and the newer games and mix them together into one big delicious bowl of awesomeness. Also, I am a massive RE fanboy.

EDIT: Oh and Star Wars 1313 as well. How could I forget?! Not only does the graphics look really good, hopefully it can also breathe some new life into the Star Wars franchise as well as lucasarts themselves. I wan't a new Jedi Knight damnit! >:-(

I was beginning to think that you had followed on the "Ignore best game of E3 2012 in the hope that it will just go away and leave our "sponsors" alone!" trend of everyone else on this website and then you mentioned watch dogs at the last minute as something good rather than just a passing sentence in an obscure article! You had me worried for a minute there.

What is the Escapist's beef with watch dogs anyway? Watch dogs gets nowhere near as much coverage as ACIII or cod B(ody) O(dor) 2.

What gives escapist?

Never been to E3 but I have come to a few assumptions about it
1) It is full of lies and deceit
2) You are really only going to hang out with other gamers and to realize you are not alone
3) The games being presented are mostly there for the spectacle
4) There are girls being paid to walk around scantily clad in costumes and some are not

Seems pretty mirrored of what I thought of E3. I disagree with his thoughts on the abundance of trailer CGI, however, as there was plenty of game footage shown, and even if there was too much at least there was all the coverage shown after the press conferences.

Shame we didn't get to see a reaction from him about the newly-announced Painkiller sequal. Quite stoked for that, myself.


hmmm. you seem a little bit pissed Yahtzee.

You must be new here.

OT: Ah, I loved his comments on the Hitman trailer. I haven't even seen it and it was hilarious. Also, dictionary.

not really, twas sarcasm.

less snarky then usual. Why?

weird thing is, the actress is actually english, adn her accent still slips up all through the trailer. how the fuck does that work?
maybe she's been living in america for a while or something.

Nothing great, nothing egregiously awful.

So, is it worse for E3 to be bad or to be mediocre?

Loved the comment about the hitman trailer. It was just random garbage that would have made for a awesome exploitation film. But has very little to do with I dunno. Stealth!

I laughed way too loud when you said "that's what gives me a chubby".

Anyway, it looks like Watchdogs is ready for a sink or swim situation when it comes out, I hope it's the latter because it does seem to have some interesting mechanics in there.

Well done, probably the best review of anything I've ever seen you "review". E3 is and has been pure corporate shit for as long as I can remember...and I'm 33. Nintendo and their next system is pretty much a joke, and yes watch dogs definitely took the whole shit-fest.

spot on.

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