Unskippable: DarkStar One: Broken Alliance

DarkStar One: Broken Alliance

So what does an Escort Pilot do, anyway?

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God, that was such a bad game. But it was fun. I decked my ship out almost completely with turrets. It looked like a heavily-armed corvette by the time I was done.

Still, I didn't buy it during the Steam summer sale. No replay value.

Edit: If you're going to do retrospectives, I request you do Skyrim.

Damn, those WERE some huge "danger: explosive" signs, weren't they?

And wow, that scene looked bad. Then again, it was originally a PC game released in 2006. But this was the Xbox 360 version, released in 2010. They didn't attempt to make it look any better, now did they? -_-

EDIT: Wait, did that game actually say "Today"? As in it takes place today? As in "today" today? Huh, WHAT???

If he's an escort then maybe they really are going to the prom.
And you' want your date to look nice wouldn't you?

An Escort Pilot is a pilot who gives the cargo and crew "happy endings."

Thanks for making me lol often.

Hmm... well the giant "danger-explosive" signs on the ship were probably to warn dock authorities and other cargo ships so that they were extra-special carefull around them, y'know, like those signs are usually for, I don't think that craft was anticipating or intended for combat of any sort, hence it's (ineffective) escort.

Best ship for the rookie? In MY day, we used to give them the worst ship with the worst weapons, with one ore unit...
Never understood that last part...

I lol'd at the Stargate reference. Also that games voice acting was AWFUL, the first line by the protagonist actually made me cringe.

Wow. That cutscene looked and sounded awful. Thank you guys for ripping into it so harshly!

The game was actually a lot of fun but, yeah, the voice-acting wasn't exactly... well.. good.

You see? Those "danger, explosive materials" signs did have a purpose! If only those...uh...pyramid ships had paid heed to them their gate wouldn't have been partially destroyed.

Some people just lack common sense.

captcha: small fries? But I prefer the big ones...

"Hello, bomb."

I think we're not alone now, there seem to be other vessels around.
I think we're not alone now, the throbbing of the Hyperdrive isn't the only sound.

In the future Tony Stark bankrupted and hired himself as a guard on the space station
Sucks to be him :D

Oh my. The commander has no eyebrows. Must have been at one hell of a frat party, the night before.


EDIT: Wait, did that game actually say "Today"? As in it takes place today? As in "today" today? Huh, WHAT???

Long long ago 'today', in a galaxy far far away...

The newbie was given the best ship because the assignment officer didn't want to work there anymore and getting fired was the only way he could collect unemployment.

As for "Escort Pilot", I can only assume it means; To road test fresh prostitutes that arrive on the station.

Best ship for the rookie? In MY day, we used to give them the worst ship with the worst weapons, with one ore unit...
Never understood that last part...

Captain kirk got best ship, that was in the future.....


I keep imagining now that no smoking signs on spaceships has slogans like, "When you smoke... Everyone on the ship smokes! SAVE OUR OXYGEN"

This was a particularly bad cutscene and a particularly good Unskippable. Well done.

These characters brought to you from the uncanniest of valleys.

Captcha: Until tomorrow

Seems they figured out my motto if you add, "It can wait" before it.

Escort pilot must be just their first attempt at providing male escort services.

It was a shame Darkstar One was such a repetitive, downright boring game, because I really used to be into space-sims.

The only upside was that the dialogue was pretty funny at times (atleast in German version, which I also suspect had better voice acting since the game was made in Germany). IIRC, they actually hired a moderately popular sci-fi writer for the game, although the dialogue is pretty much the only thing where that is occasionally noticeable; the main story felt extremely bland and forgettable.

Ow, my willing suspension of disbelief.

Wait...this was a current gen game? Wow.

Greetings I am Professor Hugh Human here from the darkstar one galaxy colonial science division to answer a few questions!
we apologize for the voices being off, thats a major problem with intergalactic television transmissions. as for the new recruit getting the best ship in the galaxy.....well, you see, human rights has been going down hill in our galaxy lately and that pilot is what you earthlings would call a........Crash Test Dummy! THATS the word I was looking for!!!
You see we need to make sure everything works before giving the ships to good pilots, anything could go wrong such as:
it could blow up as soon as you start it
it could blow up if you try to use weapons, shields, and engines at the same time
life support might pump it full of Nitrogen on accident
if we put in one part backwards the ship might actualy get worse as the pilot gets better

so you see? we couldn't risk someone important yet. we really need this stuff figured out if we are going to fight the aliens......did I type that outloud........SHOOT!! both you and I could be shot if the government finds out I typed about the aliens.....if you don't say anything I won't :)
well I think its best if I sign-out good-bye
END TRANSMI.........

what do you think?

the voice acting really is kinda painful to listen to lol

lol Paul got me with the comment about the guy's dad


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