de-rez: Hitman

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Welcome to de-rez, The Escapist's newest video series, where game life and real life converge.

In this episode, Hitman's Agent 47 faces his toughest assignment yet: not looking like an idiot.


De-rez makes me giggle nervously to myself.

90% of the time I think we all can see the humour, but think it either far too dry or... tries too hard to make the audience laugh at it. A million points for originality, like, and I'm sure the show will evolve with experience. The Escapist is somewhat infamous for trying out new and different things, and this is simply the epitome of that.

I simply believe this is outreaching to a whole new target which is definitely a world apart from the Yahtzee fans. I can't decide if it's really great satire or really God awful acting, that's all.

Well one of the many good things about Yahtzee's reviews is that they are so full of jokes about game design/plot/mechanism flaws in general that even if you don't get all the jokes, the video as a whole will still be funny to any gamer. When its a video that ONLY people who have played Hitman will find funny, you just don't have a broad enough audience.

I'm assuming here that this video would have actually been funny if I had played Hitman. It certainly wasn't without having played it :\

The accent made it enjoyable, but I don't think it had a beginning, middle, and end.

Characters who are annoying as hell and try to pass it off as funny never really work on me, I tend to just get annoyed with them.

I'm sure the series will progress, but if every episode comes out like this, I'm not interested.

- J

I'd say 47 failed that assignment.

I'm trying to find a synonym for bad that doesn't sound so mean. I hope these movies get better but I really don't think I'll even watch the next one to find out.

Get better actors. The comedy is all right but it doesn't work without proper timing, which is lacking.

that was a waste of time. once a month is way too often. in fact, once ever was way too often.
annoying voices and people without jokes isn't comedy.

Fail less please.

Criticism is great. We love criticism. If you like something, don't like it, whatever. Let us know. Better yet, be constructive and tell us why. But don't log on just to poop on things. Not here. Bad baby.


Man, its about time for a new Hitman game.

Man, its about time for a new Hitman game.

I'll 2nd that. And seeing your avatar makes me wish there'd be a new max payne game, too

I guess they're trying to ride the Yahtzee wave and keep on with the funny videos. It didn't do anything for me. The delivery seemed a bit stale, and it was trying too hard. Not a bad concept ( I do like the Street Fighter: Where are They Now? videos ), but it hardly mustered more than a smirk.

And most def' on wanting another Hitman. That series has aged well.

Russ Pitts:
Criticism is great. We love criticism. If you like something, don't like it, whatever. Let us know. Better yet, be constructive and tell us why. But don't log on just to poop on things. Not here. Bad baby.

Alright you want a crit. eh?

Overall the movie just screams shot in an afternoon youtube video. What gives it that feel is the use of the camera mic and no production lighting. Also, for example, when 47 comes back as a clown and says "Oi!" the levels jump up and theres that huge "im shooting this in a garage with the mic on my 90$ sony handycam"... sound. Why didn't the camera operator say "the levels jumped lets try that again and ill lower the gain" Because its a shot in an afternoon youtube video (SAYTV). Same goes for at the end when you can hear the wind (or someone blowing?) in the mic. Why not overdub the voice in post and bring in some wind noise? Because its a SAYTV.

The amature acting I can dismiss because its expensive to hire real actors unless your lucky in your friends. The costumes were also pretty good, especially 47's suit. But the lack of production lights really hurts the look of the movie so even if you were shooting in 16mm and had him dressed in a real black Armani suit it wouldn't matter because eveything just looks gray and flat.

On the flat note, theres no separation between the characters and the background, you don't even change the lens type in the close ups, which would be nice considering you didn't light the thing. Also the entire movie is like what? 13 shots? (please don't make me watch it again to check). 13 boring shots (ok 12 because the shot of him lifting with 47 sneaking up dressed as a clown wasn't bad). Come one, you obviously aren't doing very many takes so you should have time to mix it up a bit, move the camera something!

Ill end this now, this feels really long.

[a href=""]Blank expressions[a/] are Off The Hook.

Sigh, I'm disappointed that someone was banned over this. I understand that you want constructive criticism and all that, but let's put things into perspective. When something is good, it's ok to just cheer and say that was great, good job. When something is terrible, it should be equally acceptable to just call it for what it is, terrible. Especially when there's no grey area, there's 15 comments and not one person liked it (flip a coin 15 times and tell me how many tries it takes to have all 15 land tails).

The production values are, well they don't exist. As was said before this seems to be shot on a hand cam with no lighting. They didn't seem to bother with multiple takes. The video wasn't particularly funny, with the slight exception of the clown suit sneak, but even that got a smirk at best. As for the guy working out as an intimidating character I had a difficult time buying it. I understand if you have no budget it might be difficult to acquire good actors, but seriously casting that 90 lb stick as a tough guy? I think there was maybe 50 lbs on that bench and he was straining to curl like 15 lbs...

If this makes it to two installments I'll probably watch the second anyway, though I probably shouldn't. I'd say try to fix it, but the best approach might be to scrap it and start over.

And by the way, having played the hitman games does not make this any more funny, so don't feel like you've been left out of the loop.

I think the most positive thing i can say about this video is that i might now install the Hit Man triple pack i have sitting on my shelf...

The clown suit was quite funny. I did hope that it would end with him killing him though...

Mildly entertaining.However,this series should evolve over time

Its all ok to dismiss something you don't like, we all do it from time to time, but i generally think you guys are tearing apart something that is still young and under developed.

Making a successful short whether at home or in a professional situation is incredibly hard and time consuming not to mention expensive, believe me I would know after doing it at university having a few misses and hits and now braving it out in the real world.

Even something short like 5 minutes can take days sometimes weeks to get right even if its a simple idea and the budget can always rocket to unpredicted proportions if you have one at all.

Now I'm not saying its not impossible to make some thing amazing for les then nothing in a short space of time its been done before and will be done again, but for someone like de-rez who is just starting out in unfamiliar waters it can be an incredibly hard and daunting task, especially now that its being broadcasted to the thousands maybe millions of escapist fans and not just the few Youtube browsers that may stumble on it, with little or no budget and basic equipment ( not everyone can go out and buy a full Z1 kit and lighting rig ).

What I'm trying to put across is those that have something negative to say go ahead and say them but think first. Instead of destroying someone's attempts at creating a short why not offer tips and guidance for camera techniques and angles, how about script ideas and actor dialogue.

Some of you appear to have knowledge on the area so instead of pointing out and laughing at what's wrong why not offer some help on areas he needs it in.

Well I'm not sure if I've wondered of the mark but i must dash work is calling and i have to many screen tests to edit for a Friday.

Cheers and enjoy the weekend


You know Russ, you really are goddamned stupid.


Grow up. /mod.

I really have to disagree with you Calsipher. I wouldn't have a problem with this movie if the issues were out of the producer's hands, but they aren't. Just about everything they did could have been done better if they spent a bit more time and energy on it, there is no reason for a huge distortion in the levels, or the lack of any lights what so ever (use lamps if you have to). This movie could have been made in a single afternoon and it looks like that was the case. Also I didn't mention this before, but the script (was there a script?) is very weak. There are no real jokes, just someone acting stupid and ranting, saying the same things over and over again.

Its not about the equipment, I don't expect the producers to run out and buy a lighting kit and a Canon XL-2. Indeed it wouldn't even help them because their problem is that they clearly didn't put any thought or energy into the piece. Iv seen people do incredible things with a 12 year old high-8, some lamps and a Shure SM58.

Oh I'm not disagreeing with you in fact I agree, there were blatant areas through out the piece that could and should have been vastly improved with more care and attention.

What I'm trying to say is that its a learning curve and maybe de-rez has only just jumped on to it. I agree that there really is no excuse for poor production values when awesome shorts can be made with the most simplistic of kit, but i do think advice with a dash of flaming might be the better course to approach.

The video was indeed a failure in nearly every sense, and the next one maybe as well, but with some advice and tips, (perhaps approach a different genre style altogether, not everyone can write comedy, try noir using high and low key lighting, or maybe more physical comedy building up to a punch line) they might be able to learn something and make the next installment more entertaining.

I think that's what I'm trying to say, didn't mean to cross wires.


In theory, the idea could have worked, but if you put so little effort into something, you arent going to get gold.

The dry comedy has become stale recently, I see it all over the internet with everyone jumping onto the bandwagon. I was actually a little disappointed with this week's ZP just because the humor style is just so generic now, I can expect the reactions people are going to have.

By all means though, keep trying, its good to search for new ideas.

I'd rather not cast judgement before I've seen a few, because one sketch doesn't determine how good a comedian is. Anyone who does comedy, from someone like Bill Bailey (I chose him because I happen to know for a fact he thinks this, and therefore I'm not entirely talking out of my arse) to students doing GCSE Drama knows that some ideas are hillarious, some fall flat on their face. Just keep trying, and learn from what does and doesn't work.

Indeed I really hope these movies improve, I really like this site and I hope de-rez works out for them. Maybe thats why I'm annoyed, because we see so much stuff like this these days with youtube's popularity but my assumption is (and I hope I'm wrong so if so please tell me) that de-rez got got paid to make this latest movie, but if thats the case they didn't act like it, and that kinda bugs me.

I think what annoys me most of all is that this is an awesome opportunity to make a name for yourself possibly a career and it seems as if its being thrown away. I just wish I had stumbled on to this competition in time.


I just wish I had stumbled on to this competition in time.

Perhaps we'll do another one some day. Or, if you're feeling extra motivated and/or outraged, you're welcome to try your own hand, post a video to YouTube and send us a link. I see no reason why our magazine's open submissions policy can't extend to videos.

My email address is: [email protected] when you have something to show.

Cheers russ ill let you know if i come up with anything.


I know this is going to come across really strange, but I actually like this. Well, to be more specific, I like the premise. In other words, I like what it could have been, rather than what it is. Let's call it a missed opportunity and hit the restart button, this could be awesome.

If I may, here is a potential skit that could have played out instead:

Premise - Every video is to feature someone we could call "Joe" or "Jane", as in to represent someone who is from "real" life and they happen to meet characters from games - this is what I understand the setting of the videos to be from this one.

Set the scene, guy just relaxing and working out. Instead of having 47 talk, just have him show up. Guy working out wonders why this man is staring at him and tells him to bugger off. Show various items around the man working out that 47 looks at, try to imply possible uses as weapons. Have 47 keep showing up, not talking, in different "disguises", but its obvious that the man is bald and still creeping the man out. Finally, just as 47 sneaks up behind the man working out with like a piano wire, have the character from Assasin's Creed pop out of no where and do 47 in, then join a crowd of passerby or climb up a wall or whatever. Hopefully the implied would be that Joe Average is going to get it but with sudden delivery 47 gets it ... oh, and for added silliness if its felt its needed, instead of death by blade, use comedic death by cream pie and have the stoic Joe Average break into knee laughter. Could even do like a photo shoot type thing where its like a fan having their pic done with their star, standing over the pie in the face 47 with thumbs up or whatever.

Just an idea, could have went differently than say "Oy! I'm wearing your clothes!" *shrug*

Tries too hard.

Comedy should not smack you in the face screaming "I'M BEING FUNNY HERE; LAUGH AT ME!", it should just be allowed to happen.

This series has a lot of potential, but there's a lot of work to be done.

I know The Escapist is a business venture and all and I really like Zero Punctuation but it has been attracting the wrong crowd to this website.
Now I don't know about the rest of you guys but I come here to read some insightful, meaningful comments such as reflections on the state of video gaming, interesting new technologies and so on. I don't come here for funny videos, otherwise I'd go to CollegeHumour or YouTube.
You guys seem to try to make The Escapist into something it is not, which is quite unfortunately. It's your website so it's up to you to decide what you want to do with it, however are you certain that you are rather expand into a new direction rather to improve the existing aspects of The Escapist?

Maybe you should all read Bruce Campbell's autobiography. He started like these guys, just making some crappy films on a friend's video camera. THey met nothing but disappointment for their start to the film industry, but look at them now. Bruce Campbell is a hugely popular b-grade actor who's moved into a-grade, and Sam Raimi is an extremely popular director.

Sure, these guys aren't the best, but it comes with time, practice and constructive feedback. To 'de-rez' or whatever you guys call yourselves, I'll be honest - you need some work, but you've got potential. You need to do some research on lighting and sound, work a bit of the jokes and do some snappier editing. Move the camera, experiment with angles! Add some music! Find some forums or something on amateur filming and discuss things. Upload shorts for people to critique and get people to watch it before you upload the final piece. You'll get good feedback and make a better product.

Sure, you'll spoil the surprise a little, but to who? The people here at Escapist won't be spoiled, and we're the ones watching in the end. If you do some of what I've mentioned, you'll come out stronger and make Escapist proud.

Keep it up, lads.

I agree with CanadianWolverine, this shows real promise.

One comment I do have is that from this video, I can't see what it or the series is trying to acheive. Obviously the main goal is to be funny. But to be funny you need to have a funny idea and execute it well.

As far as I can tell, the idea for this video was "47 turns up and pisses off a guy trying to work out". If the idea stated blatantly like that provokes no laughs, then try again.

"47 follows a guy around during his daily routine, ducking behind the nearest object/person when he turns around. Eventually he has nothing to hide behind and he runs off. Later he reappears in a really bad disguise and starts the whole thing again. Eventually the Guy being followed turns around and shouts 'What is your PROBLEM?' and 47 shrugs and replies 'I quit my day job'/something funnier"

See THAT has a set up and a storyline to it. I'm not saying it's good or funny but it's an idea with promise.

Keep it up and impress us next time!

EDIT: Or even better, get yahtzee to do his intro sequence theatre lololol

lmao aww that was great i loved it. keep it up.

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