Whats you're babies race and class going to be?
Star-Trek Med-Warrior (in his infanthood stage), featuring a mithril vest +1
[Sry, this picture was only available in "male" flavour, so let's assume it depicts the second-born]
Zack: I think that armor solves a problem that the armor created. That kid was probably just any other dopey hippie kid of the late 60s and then he had to add body armor. The armor protects him from maces and short swords bullies might wield, but really, they're only trying to hack him to pieces because he's wearing armor.
Lowtax: It's a self fulfilling prophecy. "On the next Dr. Phil: my child wears armor to protect him from the violent serf uprising." Dr. Phil needs to set those parents down and explain to them the midget criminal planet is just misunderstood.
Zack: Mrs. Steelwind, the bad news is your son was beaten to a pulp again on the playground. The good news is that your mithril vest protected him from orcs on his long journey home.
Lowtax: Your child will spawn in your neighbor's house with half his experience points.
Zack: He has to go back to the second grade until he can kill enough rabbits with his crossbow.
Lowtax: But what happens when he levels up enough and that shirt is inadequate armor to protect him?
Zack: He could spend all day collecting rocks near the front of the school and then take them to the dwarven forge in the shop class.
Lowtax: He doesn't outgrow clothing, he out-levels them.
While everyone here seems to like the idea of ever-distracted mom, I fail to see how this would benefit the child. I mean... think of this: Child is coughing up something non-edible, turning red and dieing while mommy has the iPod in her ear, a portable game console in her hands and wields a wiimote with her feet, all the while sitting 2 metres away from the baby, back turned on it and her eyes fixated like a junkie who is setting the golden shot on a tiny screen with hopping dots. Game on, sister, I say.
Other than that the Toys'R'Us passage reads like Little Kimberleys Sentimental Journey to Capitalism-Land™ - where every need can be satisfied by buying the right (expensive) substance. Sometimes I wonder how my body developed past the toddler stage without dinosaur pajamas and a V-Smile...
It's funny that she might be gaming before she can walk or talk!
Yeah... even funnier might be the idea of a 20-year-old social reject, sitting in her darkened room all day, killing time by gaming World of Warcraft II 16hours/day, while her happy gaming parents pay the bills [IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!] and shrug with joy as they enter her realm as they go on a raid with her! Game on, family, I say!
In every pregnancy book, they tell you to pack your hospital bag well in advance
Now I'm a bit puzzled. You read a [pause] book? What's wrong with you parents? Where is that gaming appreciation spark that fuels everything? Seriously, you didn't learn those things in Theme Hospital?
First on my list were my laptop and DS, including which games I would bring.
Phew! Literacy alert level back to green! I repeat, literacy alert level back to green, she is bringing a DS!
Studies show that games help by getting the child to focus on something other than the pain. Essentially, the pain messages are competing with the play messages, and though the pain is still there, the kids just don't notice it as much.
Armed with this information, my husband and I had a lengthy discussion about which ones to bring
Alright... but your child's pain, where does it come from in the first place? Do you fear the child might notice what kind of parents it was assigend to? Tough luck!
"Bring the painkillers! I need MOOOOOORE!! CANT! STAND! THE! IN!CRE!DI!BLE! PAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!"
"It'sa me, Mario!"
"Aaaaaah." (great relief)
My Chumby helped keep me up to date with what was going on in the world. It's about the size of a grapefruit with a wireless internet connection, and you personalize it by choosing from hundreds of widgets. I signed up for local and world news feeds as well as gaming and tech-related news. It helped me feel connected with the world around me at a time when I couldn't actually participate.
This one, I liked, too. Especially the last part of not being connected to the a-hem, "world", while a baby has docked thru a port (ten zillion times more enjoyable than standard TCP/IP) called "nipple" with your breasts and sucks away at a nurturing enjoyment sensation called "milk"... but mommy does not feel connected. If someone gave me 10 years of time for this article, I would never have thought THAT up. Not connected...
If a mom isn't connected to her baby while breast-feeding, then, for the love of God, what on this creepy, cold, capitalistic and techno-logical planet is?
"Shush! Mom is trying to read meaninglass Twitter-balderdash, cause she feels more connected to some random crap-posting foreigner she never met (and will meet) in person, than you, darling! You could have been a cute little Borg Baby, BUT NOOOOO! You chose to be a completely boring non-gaming and non-tech-related human offspring! *falls down the chair*"
Tech-relationships rule, I say.
Plus, the author receives +10 in "audience charming" for mentioning the things we nerds wanted to hear.
I want to foster a love of gaming in Claire, sort of like what my mom did for me, unbeknownst to her, when I was growing up. She was the Pac-Man champ on our block. Kids would come over all the time to play her, and they rarely ever won.
It's actually quite funny how being a woman makes creepy things cute. I mean: A grown-up plays all day in order to beat kids. Where is the merit in that? What else was she proud of? Beating up weaker and/or defenseless opponents? Playing while the kids had to go to school? Getting nothing else done because of gaming addiction?
There is a saying about internet arguments, which goes along these lines:
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics - even if you win, you are still retarded.
I guess the same holds true for this kind of woman and playing against infants... even if she wins, she has beaten a twelve-year-old! What challenge comes up next? Stealing candy from a baby? Besides, she had the advantage of owning that antique video game. Today's spoiled brats own at least half a dozen consoles _just for themselves_ 'til they turn 18. And seriously... you stand no chance vs. those freaks. In. Any. Game.
Yes, they might not know how to read or write or just got kicked out of school, cause they feel that their pro-ga(y)mer career is just about to kick-start and make them 21st century digital kids some kind of gaming-millionaires (or so they think). And once again, you tell me that you want to compete against THAT?
"Ow, the dignity..."
In the end, I'm all your opinion, because:
That's about as hardcore as it gets, folks. Someone give this woman a prize.
I ask: Hardcore? ...indeed.