Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

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Wow, I didn't expect such a purely positive review to come out of Yahtzee; Sonic Unleashed must be a truly awesome game. Well I guess I know what I want for Christmas now.

No mercy was shown......

Nah, you could never over do it, Yahtzee(even though I never actually played this game). But anyway, good review, funny moments as always.

lol hitler designing a game :P
loved the review, i knew the new sonic would be crap-on-a-stick

i love the first 3 sonics for the sega, but ever since then its been a downhill dead-mans drop slide >_<

I heard the day time levels where the only good thing about this game. :p Never mind then, at least you didn't have to suffer through the picture taking mode the 360/ps3 version makes you do. For what ever reason, in those versions you have to cleanse people souls, with a camera.....

Sounds a bit like Fatal Frame (or Project Zero).

he's right, hedgehogs do make good litter picking devices.

And yeah, If the games demo, the thing which is supposed to sell the bloody thing, can't even go ten minutes without you running blindly into spikey death, then its not looking good.

I laughed, but part of me inside died a little as I remembered the ring catching exploits of my childhood.

I tried getting to the Game Damage website but it won't load. Anyone else got this problem?

I don't know who is dumber:

The 'team' that keeps churning out Sonic games with futility like they're Hulk movies


the people giving them money to make this shit.

(btw - gamedamage seems to be 'slashdotted')

"Taking him out behind the shed..." That was when I litterally fell off my chair laughing.

I <3 Yahtzee.

One thing, the demo which just let you play one level as regular fast sonic, was a demo I actually liked. (!) So hard that I played it several times (!!). But Im not going to buy it anyway, because all the other parts sound and looks ridiculously bad.

Heres a tip though, if you want to play a good sonic game, get sonic rush for the DS.

Is Sonic dead now? Or are they going to keep trying even if it's futile?...

I wonder. >.>

I would love to see the 90's Sonic make a comeback, that stupid big-headed clone has killed the series...


Here's a tip though, if you want to play a good Sonic game, get Sonic Rush for the DS.

Why does everyone keep praising that piece of shite? The last good Sonic game was Sonic Advance 2 in my opinion.

by CHRIST he got angry there - seriously, does he take it personally?
hilarious anyway

Nope, I've watched the video a couple of times now, but I just can't tell, was that a thumbs up or a thumbs down at the end then?

I wonder if this will get him hate mails like that time after smash bro melee;
maybe not , 5 years olds don't go on the escapist.

Near-random guitar/chainsaw Yahtzee for the win.

Well, it's been a good run Sonic. Really, I remember the awesome Sega Genesis games you had. Hell, Sonic 2 was the first video game I ever played in my life.

*loads shotgun*

It'll only hurt for a second, Mr. Hedgehog, but believe me, this is much less painful than what you've put us through in your final years.

*flicks off safety*

I hope you'll be running through loops and collecting rings in heaven now.


Dammit, I've asked for this for Christmas...

Still, I liked Sonic Heroes so sod it, I can forgive this.

A return to form to say the least.

Still it seems only dark days for Sonic ahead.

yep, Sonic lost it over a decade ago...

I've got to see this tv show!!

Wonderful to see you so angery, makes for some great laughs.

Haven't heard a rant like that in a long time. One of the best ZP's yet.

the intro of game damage looks like fun :P and i haven't play this sonic game but whit this much bad reviews i don't think i will ever touch the damn thing

Will the sonic litter picker be cheaper than current ones? :D

Is Sonic dead now? Or are they going to keep trying even if it's futile?...


I would love to see the 90's Sonic make a comeback, that stupid big-headed clone has killed the series.

Actually, his head is proportionately smaller than the 2D versions. Compare! Contrast! Contrast more!

Wow. I wish he wouldn't hold back so much, c'mon man tell us how you really feel.

OK, we gave a few weeks for the opening song, but is it just me or it made the reviews seem sorter?

I always saw the opening and ending music Yathzee chose to be a sort o extra joke! Could we at least have a diferent song in the ending?

Let's vote on this, maibe the space rays will make him chage his ways...

He's already been over the debate about the intro/outro music. He said he was sick of ripping off other bands so this is here to stay. Sure the songs were a nice little addition to the reviews, but there isn't anything wrong with the intro he uses now.

P.S. Even IF we voted he still wouldn't care, after the masses made him review SSBB he won't ever liusten to us again.

Why not review the new Prince of Persia? I've been waiting for your review about the new prince for three weeks now. If you can review mirrors edge, you can definitly review Prince of Persia since Sands of time is in your top 5 ^^
Anyway, funny review, as always.

From all these reviews lately... I'm beginning to think that people don't LIKE Sonic Unleashed. Shocker.

all sonic games suck the only one i could tolerate was the on were he was in smash bros. (another very stupid game)and u get to kill him off again and again that was fun ^_^

I don't think Sonic team is necessarily populated by retards, but I think it's safe to say they're not the industry golden goose. The remind me of Bethesda in a way that there are some people in there that know what they are doing, and some whom should've been given the boot a long time ago.

For example, the level design team explained why the game isn't all "classic" stages with what basically amounts to "that sounds like we'd have to do work".

Seriously, they said it'd be too much of a bother to make more of those stages because they have to be really long so you have space to run on.

Of what I've seen of Unleashed it looks more like a tech demo than a game, and of not that impressive technology :P


I pretty much agree with everything. The best Sonic games are those "good old" 2D. Everything in 2D/3D (like "Sonic 3D" *wink*) or just 3D sucks. Only zealotic masochistic fanboys, as Yahtzee said, living in caves feeding on fishes, like the new games. But I can't wait for Warhammer or World of Warcraft review. Assuming you will make them.

Awesome! I think this is the angriest review Yahtzee has ever given. Hell, he was civil even with the "Too Human" and "MOH Airborne" reviews. This was a breath of fresh air in a cold and dreary finals week.

And I will now check out Yathzee's new show.

I happene to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog fan, yet I agree with everything he just said.

BTW, how long until Yahtzee reviews Mother 3?

Finally! Someone who gives the newest Sonic game what it deserves. Absolutely hilarious and excellent points made.

Also I totally agree about Sonic Team - they are a bunch of asinine morons. I wish I had never bought SATSR, worst decision I ever made; arbitrary obstacle placement, terrible storyline, embarrassing cutscenes and overall terrible design.


I got it loaded, but I'm hearing nothing :( Anyone know any solutions?

plug in your speakers


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