Escapist News Now: Xbox One Unboxed

Xbox One Unboxed

What's in the box?

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So somebody actually bought a small Evil Porpoises t-shirt. That's all that is left--small. Apparently it is in great abundance as the bar graph clearly shows to be half full of smalls and empty for every other size. I have seen that shirt every time I log in to The Escapist for about 4 years. (I'm probably exaggerating.) Those shirts will never sell out. I will look at that cigar-smoking fish (Mammal! Whatever!) until the day I die. And it appear under the heading "Newest!"

Please somebody buy the rest of these shirts. Ladies! Downgrade your wardrobe with one of these as soon as possible. Guys! Um. Never mind. None of us are wearing smalls. Kids! This shirt is awesome and you need to have three...right now. Escapist! Run a $1 sale on this shirt. Why? Because I don't care for it. Well, okay. It looks okay on Andrea.

EDIT: I see I was mistaken. The ladies have a wide variety of Baby Tee sizes to choose from. Evil Porpoise logo, I shall look upon thee for decades to come. Perhaps that is the true root of your evil.

On topic: XBOne is shiny black.

I think I know what to do with the box (And preferably its contents)


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