No Right Answer: Best Animal Ever

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That was like watching one of my friends when he's drunk or stoned. And I loved it.

Good show Chris, good show.

You are right Chris, lions are the best. There really is no question.

Happy Birthday Chris. I respect your opinion, but I have to throw in my vote with the wolf crowd.

Lions don't have shit on hippos. An entire pride of lions will single out a lone hippo and still usually fail to kill it. Hippos are bigger, tougher, and despite being herbivores, have more powerful jaws.

Lions are lazy a**, lionesses do all the work x.x

Mantis shrimps on the other hand are glorious: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

Lions suck, tigers rule.

You know the cowardly tiger? No you don't, it is the cowardly lion. Plus tiger will kill a guy just out of boredom. Also tigers are the real king of the jungle, they just let lion be called that to not hurt their pride.

While there have indeed been a number of great animals brought up in this topic, I'm afraid they're all complete losers compared to the truly ultimate animal on this planet.

Can your nominee survive in the vacuum of space? Is it damn-near immune to radiation? Can it resurrect itself after 120 years of being dead? Yeah, I thought not. :P

Runner up goes to the shrimp that kills it's prey by dividing by O.

Elephants are the best Animal, hands down.

I think we were just treated to a rant about his spirit animal or something. :)

Cows. They give us steak and hamburger (tastes awesome), leather (looks awesome), and milk (makes my Lucky Charms awesome). Sorry, lions, but you really haven't provided me with anything. Uncool, bro.

What about humans, i like most of them.

Firefilm:
Best Animal Ever

In honor of Thanksgiving as well as Chris' birthday tomorrow, we present 7 + minutes of Chris ranting about his favorite animal. Show your family, they'll thank you.

Watch Video

i am kinda sorry, but chris is allmost completly wrong about lions & hyenas.
you know the reason why lions can be this lazy? they are the scavengers, in fact they use their strength to chase away other predators from the game thoose predators hunted.
you know the reason lions "hate" hyenas? it is because hyenas are actually the ones that are the hunters, the lions just chase them away to steal the food the hyenas hunted.
you know the reason why male lions have to be so vigilant about other male lions? it is this way because if a male lion takes over a "pride", he will kill every single little lion baby so the genes of his predecessor will not survive, he also does it to hasten the reproductive cicle of the females, so essentially 'kill babies to fuck the moms', very classy -.- Now, if a male hyena tried to pull the same stunt in a pack, the females WILL kill him and serve his body as a happy meal to the lions.
also, while we are discusing the social differences between hyenas and lions, if a pack of hyenas kills an animal, the first members of the pack that are allowed to feed from it are the young hyenas who can't hunt by themself; if a pack of lions succesfully steals something from other animals, the alpha-male will bully his way to be the first to feed from it, sometimes even to the detriment of his own children. also, female and male hyenas hunt together as equals, so if you want to stress the "equalist" angle, in the lion society, the male is a lazy, child-murdering rapist while the females have to do all the work; in the hyena society the burdens of life are equally distributed between the genders as far as that is possible (yes, the males of the pack also have to tend to the children and protect them, instead of being lazy like a lion).
in a nutshell, the most acurate despiction of a lion in the media was scar, mufasa and simba are the glorified, humanized versions our own cultural bias produced.
another thing about hyenas: the so-called "giggeling" of hyenas is actually a method of communication, think of it as a form of military short-talk to tell the other members of the pack where you are, which direction you are heading, what you smell and see in the vicinity and in which direction a possible target is heading. it is also used to coordinate the attack on the animal your pack intends to hunt down, and lastly as a warning mechanism to inform your pack when thoose pesky FEDs err lions come to steal your hard earned money err meat ;-)
sidenote: hyenas are actually not wolfs, they developed from the same ancestors that cats developed from, their evolutonary line just split very early from the other cats.

it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

i apologize for any gramatical or ortographic mistakes, english is not my first language.

"One of those flavors? Lion."

I laughed.

Lhianon:
it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

It's the whole "villains are ugly" thing that everyone seems to share. Thair "laughter" is also kinda creepy.

kailus13:

Lhianon:
it says a lot about human society that we choose to glorify lions and try to give hyenas a bad name...

It's the whole "villains are ugly" thing that everyone seems to share. Thair "laughter" is also kinda creepy.

i agree, one has to keep in mind that in ancient human history there were good reasons to be cautious of malformed or sickly-looking individuals, the outward appeareance often told you (subconcously) about diseases or genetical errors that could have a negative impact on your tribe. over time, this formed a kind of cultural bias that is really difficult to get rid of and can have horrible consequences (we germans are especially guilty of this).
as a sidenote, i imagine that we sound equally creepy to hyenas as they sound to us xD

Ridiculous. Our Man Denton is the only true King of New York.

el_kabong:
Cows. They give us steak and hamburger (tastes awesome), leather (looks awesome), and milk (makes my Lucky Charms awesome). Sorry, lions, but you really haven't provided me with anything. Uncool, bro.

Lion steaks make you stronger, lion boots make you look cooler, and lion milk can cure any illness known to man or beast, however I dare you to attempt to milk a lion.

I'm surprised within the first 35 posts no one declared Dragons to The Best Animal Ever.
Then again Dragons Are....
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/619064

As for lions they aren't even The Best Cat Ever
The Best Cat Ever is
Cheetahs
http://cheetahs-rock.de/
Cheetahs unlike most Big Wild Cats are nearly domestic & have been used as a substitute for Hunting Dogs.
Cheetahs have claws similar to dogs.
Cheetahs can chirp like birds, which is freaking adorable.
Cheetahs are probably one of very few animals that have committed too much incest but don't look ugly.
Unfortunately Cheetahs are also endangered due how hard it is for them to survive birth & grow up.
Which is why its important for us Humans to prevent their extinction.
Also Cheetahs are the Cat People in
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APrBdP0bBJM

But for The Best Animal ever (even though I don't care for them)
Humpback Whales http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_IV:_The_Voyage_Home
Caitian ( http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Caitian ) probably wouldn't have done what those Alien Humpback Whales did if Earth Cats went extinct.
An entire movie based on basically The Federation bricking their pants & having to go into the past to prevent further destruction from Alien Whales by bringing Humpback Whales into the future.

Eh, lions are ok, but I prefer the Honey Badger. To quote the famous webvidoe: "Honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit."

Though in terms of big cats, I've always preferred cheetahs to lions.

They're beautiful animals that are also the fastest land mammal, what's not to like?

image

RatGouf:

As for lions they aren't even The Best Cat Ever
The Best Cat Ever is
Cheetahs
http://cheetahs-rock.de/
Cheetahs unlike most Big Wild Cats are nearly domestic & have been used as a substitute for Hunting Dogs.
Cheetahs have claws similar to dogs.
Cheetahs can chirp like birds, which is freaking adorable.
Cheetahs are probably one of very few animals that have committed too much incest but don't look ugly.
Unfortunately Cheetahs are also endangered due how hard it is for them to survive birth & grow up.
Which is why its important for us Humans to prevent their extinction.

Nice to see someone else shares the cheetah love around here...

RTR:
Whoa, Chris' birthday is right before my mom's.

And Chris' birthday is MY birthday... AWESOME!

OT: What about ligers, Chris?


They have all of the awesomeness of a lion plus the awesomeness of tiger!! GOSH!!

OlasDAlmighty:
Lions don't have shit on hippos. An entire pride of lions will single out a lone hippo and still usually fail to kill it. Hippos are bigger, tougher, and despite being herbivores, have more powerful jaws.

I love hippos. Funniest animal video I ever saw was a baby hippo, jumping around and being a bratty little pain in the arse, on a full grown fucking CROCODILE. You could see the crocodile was pissed off but it was too scared to move because mummy hippo was lounging on the shore watching, and he knew he had to sit there and be a chew toy or she would fuck him up.

wildpeaks:
Mantis shrimps on the other hand are glorious: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/mantis_shrimp

This

Lhianon:

in the lion society, the male is a lazy, child-murdering rapist while the females have to do all the work

O_O
So that is where feminists got their "patriarchy" hypothesis
Everything starts to make sense now...
(except, no, nothing still makes any goddamn sense, but at least idea is kinda funny :D )

Anyway, totally agree on hyenas
Those are world's most underrated animals (or one of)
Efficient
Just
Caring
Kind
But noooo
"something that ugly and creepy must be evil and bad"
Goddamn ignorant biased specists!

The lion is a wuss animal if you want to see something really badass honey badger

mysecondlife:
I wonder if he had a little drink before filming this video..

I had similar thoughts while watching this.

OT: What, no love for owls?

shirkbot:

Virtual high-five to you my friend, you are the first person I've ever known to know what a pangolin is. Not to mention how cool they are.

Meanwhile elephants are like: "Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me trampling your shit. Let me just stomp your predators with this here tree I just pulled out of the damned ground. (ps: now I'm going to paint a picture... of myself.. because I'm all intelligent like that.)"

Also: - Rhinos, the only animals that don't run FROM fire but TO fire. Yeah that's right... rhinos > fire.

Don't even get me started on the hippopotamus... most dangerous animal in Africa. That guy will bite crocodiles in half. Show me a lion that does that.

What, lions? Lions aren't even the best cat (tigers FTW). But let's move away from cats for just a moment...

Praying mantis? They kill and eat snakes ten times their size. Snakes. Something that, should everything be right in the world, would eat them. They kill up the evolutionary predator ladder.

Tiger sharks have teeth specifically designed to cut through giant sea turtle shells.

Ravens and crows, for their brain size, are smarter than anything (humans included).

Mantis shrimp punch at 10,000g (the acceleration of a .22 bullet) with club fists stronger than any engineered ceramics we've been able to invent. They don't even have to hit; the shockwave alone is enough to boil water and murder their prey.

Peregrine falcons dive at up to 242 mph. Most people never even control a vehicle moving that fast. No other animal can achieve such speeds without mechanical assistance.

And don't even get me started on extinct animals. The ankylosaurus weighed six tonnes, was covered in armor, and grew a stone club on its tale to break predators' kneecaps. Megalodon had teeth bigger than most people's hands (think of a great white shark except five times the size; that's right, Jaws would be a snack for one of these things).

Lions have, what, a goddamn mane? A title they never earned based upon a false understanding of their ecology? Genocidal tendencies towards hyenas? Lions have good PR, and that's about it.

Chris Pranger:

el_kabong:
Cows. They give us steak and hamburger (tastes awesome), leather (looks awesome), and milk (makes my Lucky Charms awesome). Sorry, lions, but you really haven't provided me with anything. Uncool, bro.

Lion steaks make you stronger, lion boots make you look cooler, and lion milk can cure any illness known to man or beast, however I dare you to attempt to milk a lion.

I'm going to have to agree to disagree here. While lion steaks may imbue you with some of the lion's strength, they also cause other lion-like behaviors, as you absorb the essence of the great beast. I went through a lion-steak fad diet phase, but I had to stop because the uncontrollable urge to mark my territory became extremely inconvenient for my roommates. As for lion boots, I admit that they're stylish, but I really only end up bringing them out for formal events. Most of the time, they just sit in my closet. Lastly, the difficulty in procuring lion's milk makes it hard to justify any additional curative properties while my Lucky Charms remain tragically unquenched.

Chris, your delivery of this video reminded me heavily of Henry Rollins; have you ever watched one of his spoken word shows?

If you look up crocodiles on Google every now and again, they are the only animal still regularly and consistently murdering humans right back. That's gotta count for something. So I'll go with crocodiles, specifically the salties, as they don't seem to take crap from anyone or anything except the late Steve Irwin.

I feel like we're all forgetting about the most utterly terrifying creatures on the planet

there we go, shitting my pants again

Bears have been definitively proven to be better then lions.

Of all the times a Bear was pitted against a Lion, the bear just smashed the lion's scull in one blow. It eventually became boring and they went back to pitting the Bears against Bulls and other assorted animals.

Dogs! Anyone says otherwise is out of their minds. They're loyal, unconditionally loving, they heal and protect us, they don't judge or aren't critical, they'll give you a nuzzle even when you're grumpy are eager to play even when you've hurt them or hollered at them, they just instantly and totally love us back. They are our best companions, they practically live for us, nothing will ever revere you or cherish you like your dog. Richly diverse, culturally integrated around the world, for some of us they're family. Nothing better than a dog.

Chickens are a close second, but only because they're so important to our diet as birds and eggs. I have a lot of respect for chickens, and their noble sacrifice for my extra-crispy needs.

Actually being serious about that last part, I give real thought about the meat I eat and try to never waste it so the creature that died to feed me didn't die trivially.

That was amazing! I completely agree! Lions are beast! Also happy birthday :D

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