Escape to the Movies: Heaven Is For Real - Doesn't Make Much Sense

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Ah, yes, the amazing coincidence of people having near death experiences appropriate to their cultural backgrounds and beliefs. It's almost like they're hallucinations based on what the brain has been taught to expect.

As for "preaching to the choir", well. It's not just happening in the movie. These movies are aimed towards the already converted, too, of course. Eh, if it makes them happy. These kinds of flicks are kind of niche, but at least they can predictably rely on their audience, I suppose.

I can't fathom why they bothered making a movie if they don't have a compelling story to tell.

I remember watching religious movies during Sunday School as a kid and they were never this dull. Of course, my church was pretty progressive and we would also watch things like The Lion King and Clueless with a discussion afterwards.

Steve the Pocket:
Maybe I'm just reading way too much into this, but if I were hired to make this movie and secretly resentful about it, portraying the preacher as failing to reach an audience beyond the existing faithful is exactly how I would go about taking a stealth jab at him and his movement. Just sayin'.

Mcoffey:
Lotta Christian back-patting in Hollywood these days. Son of God, God's Not Dead, now this one... Okay, I guess that's only three (Noah absolutely does not count), but it's still strange to see that many of these, this close together, with this much actual screen time. Strange.

There's also the Kirk Cameron vehicle Monumental that's supposed to be out one of these days. Excuse me if I don't care enough to look it up.

I mean, I expect that from Kirk Cameron. That's pretty much all he does. But even James Remar is starring in a movie about a preacher being setup in a government conspiracy against him for being too Christian and awesome. It's called Persecuted, of all things.

Elijah Newton:

Mcoffey:
Lotta Christian back-patting in Hollywood these days. Son of God, God's Not Dead, now this one... Okay, I guess that's only three (Noah absolutely does not count), but it's still strange to see that many of these, this close together, with this much actual screen time. Strange.

I lump weird conservative movies into this trend, too. "Dragon Day' ( http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/dragonday/ ) jumps to mind because it literally got a wtf reaction from me for crazy-ass xenophobia / technophobia... I don't feel like I used to see ads for movies like this ever. Maybe the production cost to make a flick is dropping?

That is really bizarre. Maybe it has something to do with the upcoming election season? Rally the Red and the Faithful so the liberals don't get another term? They've certainly been whining about it in all the other media outlets, I guess film wouldn't be an exception for long.

This seems more like a review for American Bob than for Movie Bob.

twosage:
As for Amazing Spider-Man 2, I've seen it. Bob won't like it. Mostly because of the reasons he didn't like the first one.

I hated the first one, agreed with Bob on a lot of his points and still loved the second one start to finish. It was easily superior to Winter Soldier, if only because of much of a visible improvement on the first one it was.

I feel like these films are on the rise because of internal fears within the Christian church of the rise of non church oriented faith, and non belief in general. In the face of the growing modern world, churches are injecting tons of money into these "keep the faith" type of venture to maintain retention. Remember the key of this movie is to "help" doubting young Christians who are on the fence. So you might think its preaching to the quire, but its preaching to the quire that's debating a move. Once they lose a christian its likely they will not only that person but all their offspring as well because once you realize its all bollix, you certainly are going to tell you kids and their kids that too who will then realize its all bollix or will be too busy enjoying life to bother even knowing what a church is (my kids).

scw55:

crimson5pheonix:
On the forums proper, this will probably not cause much of a discussion unless maybe a random very Christian person shows up. But I feel the Facebook feed is about to be set on fire.

My Christianity level varies depending on what atheist or Christian people say and do. And how much I am thinking about my dead belovéd cat.

The movie looks very dry. And I really disapproves of people weaponizing or monetizing their faith. It's kinda contradictory to the whole point of Christianity.

Humans are corruptible and are capable of sinning and it's impossible to not sin (that's the Christian view). So, you will get movies like this and franchises coming up.

My take on the story based off Bob's review is that a Child who has been brought up in a Christian household dreams when he was under. Because his brain is full of his faith, it probably manifested as a dream that he "saw" as a message. The kid could have really been to heaven, but, I don't like how his daddy is making money from his kid's vision. So I am going to be cynical. The kid dreamt what was on his mind, Christianity.

When I was very ill, I hallucinated that I was designing Roller Coasters. I doubt that's a spiritual message saying that I will be the Roller Coaster Designer Messiah.

Film looks dry and dull. For other Christians, they might get a lot more going to Church or talking amongst themselves than paying to see this wallpaper paste.

An interesting thing about near death experiences around the world. People of different faiths tend to have visions of the faith they already have. It's a bit odd that people use these experiences to argue their religion is true because they totally saw it, because it would serve as proof of pretty much every faith, even the ones they say aren't true.

And I agree with you, someone is probably far more likely to get a nice experience out of a friendly prayer group than they are this boring tripe. But, to each his own.

Jesus rides a rainbow horse?

image

I saw Amazing Spiderman 2 the other night. There were some nice scenes between Peter and his loved ones, the fights were good (no shaky cam, I sh*t you not) and the soundtrack was decent (Electros techno beat was badass and I won't hear other wise) but the film is trying waaaaaay to hard to set up future movies so things feel rushed and/or contrived for the sake of universe building and the bad guy designs are boring, like really dull. Electro wears a poxy wet suit, I know Spidys cast was a maybe a little too flamboyant for most people but if Marvel can pull off Thor than Sony has no excuse.

I just watched Spidey (in South Africa). If you want an angry review about something Bob feels strongly about, wait for that.

Interesting review Bob. I'm glad there is no real Bible-belt here.

jabrwock:
I assume the slosh of Christian fluff movies is because the mega-churches finally have enough monetary and marketing clout to get their vanilla B-movie ideas past the Hollywood marketers.

When you've got a bookstore in your church, you've got a captive market. Marketers LOVE that. If they can push half-assed productions for cheap and still get a great ROI, even better.

As for "who buys this crap"? There has to be an audience. I was attending a baptism in one of those mega-churches, and the bookstore was filled with bland "inspirational" books (both fiction and non-fiction), bland music, bland movies, and bland coffee. And the congregation was snapping them up like they were hotcakes dipped in bacon fat laced with Rockets. I didn't get it at all, but then I'm not the target audience.

The best I could get out of a friend was that the bland stuff was all ok for his kids because it was guaranteed to not contain anything objectionable. So it was safe for family movie night, ok for his kids to play on loop on the stereo, and non-engaging enough that he could blitz through a book on the beach without caring whether he fell asleep half-way through.

So I figure the (literal) busloads of churchgoers going to see "God's Not Dead" are no different than the throngs of people going to see an 80's alien invasion B-movie. It's all schlock.

Actually it may have more to do with Easter.

What amazes me is this is real. Kid has near death hallucination and surprise it's exactly the stuff his dad preaches about day and night.... gee.. what a surprise. As for the target audience... *sigh* I'm sort of ironically reminded of the scene with Jesus and the Money changers in the bible... he'd probably go berserk if he came down now since it's his name they're using this time.

My self. I'm not the target audience. While I don't disbelieve in God I don't see the sense of worship or prayer. Any being the desires the worship of those beings lesser than it, does not deserve to be worshipped. Sort of like how those who seek political power are the last people who should be given political power.

What's with all the Christianity movies lately? Is Hollywood trying to dispel the (stupid) idea that they're all godless liberals?

Anyway, I'll pass. I stopped watching these kind of movies after seeing Fireproof, which after watching, I wanted to throw into the nearest fireplace...along with Kirk Cameron.

Scrumpmonkey:
EDIT: Newest Tweet "In heaven you can shoot guns at each other for fun" Oh come one! This can't be legit!

Apperantly, this kid has never heard of paintball. Or first-person shooters. Or even laser tag.

twosage:

PuckFuppet:

I hated the first one, agreed with Bob on a lot of his points and still loved the second one start to finish. It was easily superior to Winter Soldier, if only because of much of a visible improvement on the first one it was.

You're certainly entitled to your opinion... but wow.

When you die, please donate your brain to science. It must be a truly fascinating thing.

Pfizer already got the rights, had a nice bidding war beforehand too.

I would join a religion based on Liono and Slimer in a heartbeat.

Brave horse...was that a movie about a My Lil Pony? heh (all this talk of rainbows and horses..)

jabrwock:
As for "who buys this crap"? There has to be an audience. I was attending a baptism in one of those mega-churches, and the bookstore was filled with bland "inspirational" books (both fiction and non-fiction), bland music, bland movies, and bland coffee. And the congregation was snapping them up like they were hotcakes dipped in bacon fat laced with Rockets. I didn't get it at all, but then I'm not the target audience.

They buy the stuff for the same reason that North Koreans have framed pictures of the various Kims on their walls: to demonstrate loyalty. Not being loyal; demonstrating loyalty. The goal is to reduce or eliminate suspicion of not hewing to the dominant ideology. And since this is religion, they are as much trying to fool themselves and God as much as their neighbors. Buying all this avowedly "Christian" stuff serves the same purpose as bleeding out a goat on an altar.

After all, who would you believe is more Christian? Someone whose house is chock-a-block with crosses, books, figurines and who is never seen without one of several ornate crucifixes, or somebody living a very spartan lifestyle? Someone who is utterly orthodox as regards the various "stances" of the Church leadership and attends all the big events or someone who stays quietly at home and is mostly only interested in helping their neighbors?

Rabidkitten:
I feel like these films are on the rise because of internal fears within the Christian church of the rise of non church oriented faith, and non belief in general. In the face of the growing modern world, churches are injecting tons of money into these "keep the faith" type of venture to maintain retention. Remember the key of this movie is to "help" doubting young Christians who are on the fence. So you might think its preaching to the quire, but its preaching to the quire that's debating a move. Once they lose a christian its likely they will not only that person but all their offspring as well because once you realize its all bollix, you certainly are going to tell you kids and their kids that too who will then realize its all bollix or will be too busy enjoying life to bother even knowing what a church is (my kids).

I think that's pretty spot on. As time passes, people are becoming less religious, and that scares the holy shit out of bible slingers and anyone else who has a vested interest in maintaining a mythology monopoly.

The internet - the greatest repository of human knowledge this world has ever seen - is single-handedly making religion even more redundant than it already was. I for one can't wait to see the state of the religion industry ten years from now.

Man, I haven't laughed this much during one of these episodes in... actually I think this one might be the funniest (not that funny is what you're usually aiming for). So many awesome one-liners and jokes in the first two minutes a lone.
"Braveheart, Braveheart Goes to Vietnam, and Bravehorse."

I dreamt about heaven as well.
It consisted of the pearly gates sitting there, on and endless layer of clouds, slightly ajar.
On the other side was Jesus, just standing nose up to a brick wall just staring at it.
Then Scarlett Johansen showed up and we went on spy adventures in a mini-van.
It got kind of fuzzy after that but I remember just before I woke up I was sitting on the Enterprise bridge talking with Data about cats.
So basically, heaven is wonderful because Scarlett Johanson...
...and Data I guess.

I wonder what Bob'll think about Amazing Spiderman 2.

Weird that Bob is wasting his time (and ours) with these "fish in a barrel" reviews. What a shock, he didn't like a by the book faith based movie! Anyone surprised by this? I believe him the movie is lame, but why waste an episode of this show on stuff that his audience will likely never see and probably already knows is not good?

Also, any time you feel the need to go out of your way and say "i'm being sincere", it kinda means the opposite.

The Gentleman:

"No one is lining up to hear about Bob and his illuminating conversation with Lion-o and slimer."

What kind of cold medicine were you given, Bob?

Sounds like the premium shit. Or I hope it was just from watching cartoons.
Speaking of, my jaw dropped at the picture of Lady Rainicorn from Adventure Time. Lord knows where Bob would go talking about THAT show.

HBaskerville:
Weird that Bob is wasting his time (and ours) with these "fish in a barrel" reviews. What a shock, he didn't like a by the book faith based movie! Anyone surprised by this? I believe him the movie is lame, but why waste an episode of this show on stuff that his audience will likely never see and probably already knows is not good?

I'm guessing it's because it's one of only a few films (or maybe it's the only film) that came out this week. I mean, I can't really think of any films that came out today off the top of my head...

PsychedelicDiamond:
There have been an awful lot of religious movies recently. Though as far as i would know Noah was the only one that got a big release here in the predominantly atheist Germany but it seems like we are not missing out on anything.

Noah wasn't really a religious movie and I, an atheist, quite liked it.

impocalyptic:
I had to go see this with my significant other. Bob's dead on the money with this. And I had to hold back laughter at the rainbow horse in the theater. The one word which seems to be hovering over the circumstances of the whole thing but is never said is masturbatory. "You believe in this already? Good! Because you're right."

Meh, the same could be said for the utterly boring White House Down. It's pretty much Heaven If For Real for far-left liberals, as it preaches to their choir just as hard and in much the same ham-fisted way. The only difference is the actors in HIFR will be blacklisted after this movie while the WHD actors will not.

Veylon:

jabrwock:
As for "who buys this crap"? There has to be an audience. I was attending a baptism in one of those mega-churches, and the bookstore was filled with bland "inspirational" books (both fiction and non-fiction), bland music, bland movies, and bland coffee. And the congregation was snapping them up like they were hotcakes dipped in bacon fat laced with Rockets. I didn't get it at all, but then I'm not the target audience.

They buy the stuff for the same reason that North Koreans have framed pictures of the various Kims on their walls: to demonstrate loyalty. Not being loyal; demonstrating loyalty. The goal is to reduce or eliminate suspicion of not hewing to the dominant ideology. And since this is religion, they are as much trying to fool themselves and God as much as their neighbors. Buying all this avowedly "Christian" stuff serves the same purpose as bleeding out a goat on an altar.

After all, who would you believe is more Christian? Someone whose house is chock-a-block with crosses, books, figurines and who is never seen without one of several ornate crucifixes, or somebody living a very spartan lifestyle? Someone who is utterly orthodox as regards the various "stances" of the Church leadership and attends all the big events or someone who stays quietly at home and is mostly only interested in helping their neighbors?

Keeping up with the Jones', faith edition.

Yeah, I can see that. Would also explain why it's pushed so much more in the US. Exponential-size flag-pin syndrome.

Zontar:

Evonisia:
Well thanks for clearing that up, I was waiting to excitedly watch The Amazing Spiderman 2...'s review.

Amazing Spiderman 2 is released on the 3rd for North America, so it'll probably be next Friday he does it.

Though, to be fair, Moviebob released his Amazing Spiderman 1 review when it came out on a Wednesday. Therefore, it isn't a that much of a stress he does something similar.

Mcoffey:
Lotta Christian back-patting in Hollywood these days. Son of God, God's Not Dead, now this one... Okay, I guess that's only three (Noah absolutely does not count), but it's still strange to see that many of these, this close together, with this much actual screen time. Strange.

You haven't seen the straight to DVD theme rack at Walmart, I take it. We're flooded with dozens of 'em. "God save our farm", "5 people you'll meet in heaven", "Little red wagon", dozens of animated and cheap versions of Noah and Jesus' story.

Scrumpmonkey:
Has anyone else seen this kid's twitter? He's literally going to murder us all.

"Because of what I have seen, I am always ready to die"

"God will Claim all His children"

"I will make them believe"

"You have no concept of what seeing God does to a human mind"

EDIT: Newest Tweet "In heaven you can shoot guns at each other for fun" Oh come one! This can't be legit!

This kid is a shoe in for sacrificing people whilst listening to blue oyster cult. Remember kids, heaven is for real. So Don't fear the reaper. All i did was send them to heaven.
https://twitter.com/TheColtonBurpo

I just needed to quote this again because this twitter feed is beautiful. It is both hilarious and terrifying all at once and I love it. Everyone should read it.
I think my favorite one so far is "In Heaven, every bed is a racecar bed."

Kumagawa Misogi:

Aiddon:
read the synopsis for Amazing Spider-Man 2 and here's the gist: FRIGGIN' STUPID.

As for the movie being reviewed, yeah, seems like more Christian propaganda shlock. The utter cheapness of them is really what's so insufferable about them. Most of them look like they're made in someone's generic house.

Because the comics make oh so much sense. Spiderman vs Thanos in the Thanos copter :) (it happened)

One more day, The Clone Saga, That stupid fucking Time Travel Team-up thing he did with Wolverine (can't be arsed looking it up)....

The list goes on.

No more than any other Superhero, Spiderman has had more than one pretty stupid storyline in his long career.

But like I said before I'm Reeeeelllyy interested in what he has to say about AS2

Vausch:

Mcoffey:
Lotta Christian back-patting in Hollywood these days. Son of God, God's Not Dead, now this one... Okay, I guess that's only three (Noah absolutely does not count), but it's still strange to see that many of these, this close together, with this much actual screen time. Strange.

You haven't seen the straight to DVD theme rack at Walmart, I take it. We're flooded with dozens of 'em. "God save our farm", "5 people you'll meet in heaven", "Little red wagon", dozens of animated and cheap versions of Noah and Jesus' story.

Well that's why those are straight to DVD. Those make sense. You don't see them doing gangbusters at the box office like this and God's Not Dead did. Admittedly a lot of that has to do with their bite-sized budget (God's Not Dead was made on 2 mil, and made 50), but still.

Bob lives in the US right? That might be why this wasn't ASM 2 ripping week, as it doesn't come out until next week here, so I'm wondering if the US critics have to wait until around the time the movie comes out here first before they can review it, or maybe even see it.

OT: So not only is it ham-handed, but it's boring at that? Laaaammmmeeeee. I really should go see Noah sometime.

what is with the sudden influx of christian movies? Besides Noah, they're just the religious fluff and not the epic films from decades ago. Come on Hollywood! enough with the fluff and go back to the epics.
Also, how nice of the family to pimp out their kid like this to make money (;一_一)

Was that one picture in the middle from that manga where Buddha and Jesus are roommates?

"I'm keeping an open mind (about Amazing Spider-Man 2)."

Oh, Bob, why do you torment yourself with false hope? You could see what this was going to be from the first trailer.

RedDeadFred:
Man, I haven't laughed this much during one of these episodes in... actually I think this one might be the funniest (not that funny is what you're usually aiming for). So many awesome one-liners and jokes in the first two minutes a lone.
"Braveheart, Braveheart Goes to Vietnam, and Bravehorse."

Yes, that quote was the best, chuckled at the second part then completely lost it at Bravehorse.

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