Movie Defense Force: Fireproof - The Official White People Problems Movie

 Pages PREV 1 2
 

So is Movie Defense Force just going to be clear mockery under sarcastic appraisal from here on? It's not nearly as interesting unfortunately. Perhaps if Jim's run out of movie's he thinks are underrated he could try doing an antithesis show where he rips on movies everybody seems to love but really have problems, or maybe that would come across as too mean-spirited and argumentative. I am a ghost!

Lilani:
Certain types of Christians get off on this stuff the way housewives get off on 50 Shades.

Seriously tho, if Fappy hadn't already QFT'd this then I would have. While I'm more about the ethics of Christianity than the academic and etymological aspects of the Bible (what you posted was cool, though) today's church still needs to call itself out a lot more than it already does. The Body of Christ needs some actual damn introspection a lot more than it needs Jesus at this point in time, and things have gotten so masturbatory it should be smashing its computer monitor instead of Kirk Cameron. Well, maybe him too...

I fell asleep to this garbage in a religious studies class.

Oh god this movie. It hurts. Ugh.

Lilani:
By the end they're like "Yeah, porn's bad, and I knew that. Faith validated, Jesus points earned."

So... what happens when you earn enough Jesus points?

Can they be traded for cookies?

If the Jesus Points can't be traded into an allowance for watching porn then I am not converting any time soon. And come on guys, some movies can only feasibly be "defended" if you put your brain on stand by and relish in the love for the magic jewish carpenter and I guess this can be fun for a second or two.

It's almost like Jim wasn't sincere...

Remus:
Here's my reaction to this review, and pretty much any movie with Kirk Cameron - "Jesus" Drink! "Jesus" Drink! ad infiniteum. Does the poor sod not know how to play in anything without a heavy-handed Christian message?

No, no he does not. He can't see beyond that heavy handedness. It's consumed his brain and reason.

Did Baby Jesus have his AR-15 in this movie?

WickedLordJasper:
I've never seen Fireproof before, but from the MDF clip, I got that the movie was overly Christian and written for a strongly religious audience. So that's what makes the movie bad?

Ya... See that's the issue with Christian films. They are made by Christians for Christians, but they seem to think they would function as good outreach. The issue with that stems in the fact that Christian films rarely stand as good films in their own right. They put moral and message before story. [Good] Hollywood movies do the opposite.

Most Christians I know (Myself included) are pretty ashamed of the state of the industry. Even if a decent one comes out, it's 1 step forward 3 steps back (coughGod'sNotDeadcough)

Tanis:
O,u.

The acting is WORSE than 'God's Not Dead'.
Do you know how HARD that is?

That's like, worse than SyFy original movies bad!

Worse than God's Not Dead? I don't know if I would aim THAT low... Kirk isn't a great actor... but comparing it to God's Not Dead...

Remus:
Does the poor sod not know how to play in anything without a heavy-handed Christian message?

Kirk Cameron (or maybe his mother, accounts differ) got Julie McCullough fired from Growing Pains for doing a Playboy photoshoot. Once he was married, Cameron refused to take off his wedding ring when he was playing Mike Seaver (in the later episodes, you can see it was covered with a flesh-colored band-aid). He regularly combines efforts with this idiot:

image

There is a sliding scale of Mainstream Actor to Religious/Political Advocate, and it tends to progress like a cancer on their careers until that advocacy is all they can do. On one end, you have people like Kevin Sorbo who do clearly propagandist work (that they believe in), but still find their way into "real" entertainment a lot of the time. Further on, you've got your Stephen Baldwins, Ben Steins, and Judd Nelsons. The final stage is Kirk Cameron.

You can fight it at the early stages (Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis have been living with it for years), but once it reaches Cameron's advanced state... it's terminal. It's just a shame it took him so young.

MarsAtlas:

WickedLordJasper:
So that's what makes the movie bad?

Well any movie built on the idea of ideological masturbation that isn't a documentary is destined to be awful....

So what about the films "Thank You for Smoking", and "Bob Roberts"?

Ideologial films, with set precepts concerning morality, epistemology, law and political theory ... Bob Roberts was glaringly an indictment of America's love affair with spectacle over substance in the democratic process. You could say that Bob Roberts was a movie advocating having voting rights based on your IQ. That 'democracy for all' can only ever amount to 'being popular is more important than being right' for a politician.

twosage:
The final stage is Kirk Cameron.

You can fight it at the early stages (Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis have been living with it for years), but once it reaches Cameron's advanced state... it's terminal. It's just a shame it took him so young.

Meh, I don't consider it a shame. He wasn't a very good actor, and still isn't. The fact that his religious nutbaggery has him sidelined into stupid religious propoganda works and nothing else, doesn't bother me in the slightest.

josh4president:

Really?

I could have sworn you wrote this:

http://i.imgur.com/8kBylHs.png

But seriously, I can't help but feel you're in much better form when you're actually defending a neglected/maligned/hated film instead of just taking something terrible and turning sarcasm mode on. Even in your Mall Rats/'Michael Rooker's Ass episode you at least did mention a few things about the overall feature before descending into frame after frame of jiggly man-buttock.

At this rate you could very well do an episode 'defending' Attack of the Clones by gushing breathlessly about how brilliantly the romantic sub-plot is written and how it artistically elevates the series as a whole with 1950s-style space diners and children acting terribly with buckets on their head.

Do you really want to live in a world where you could actually make a Movie Defense Force of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones?

Is that what you want, Jim?

...This was my favorite episode of the show yet and I laughed my ass off. And I think I could stand to live in that world, might be I could find it in my heart to be happy about it even

Lilani:
Even as a Christian I find these sorts of movies insufferable. It's made to be the sort of thing "Christians" want to see, and while apparently that works for some, what gets me really compelled is the stuff I DON'T want to hear. I want tough analyses of the Bible that look at the plausibility of things, and the stories in the context of their time. I've read the works of people like John Spong, whose extremely historical and scholarly approach to the Bible shows that that Mary wasn't called a virgin until the later gospels and Joseph didn't exist until those same later gospels (because of Mary is a virgin you need some kind of a father figure to make sure Jesus isn't dismissed as a bastard, which is exactly how he is addressed in the early gospels), and that the prophecy from Isaiah which Matthew references to demonstrate that the messiah was predicted to come from a virgin was actually a Greek mistranslation which took the word Hebrew "almah" which is simply a young woman of childbearing years (marital status unspecified) and translated it as "parthenos" which does mean "virgin."

So yeah, after seeing some extremely hard to fight reasons for Mary to not have been a virgin, stuff like this comes off at best as rather soft. And at worst it's self-gratifying, self-righteous, and downright masturbatory. Certain types of Christians get off on this stuff the way housewives get off on 50 Shades. This stuff doesn't challenge or compel anybody looking for a challenge to their faith or a compelling reason to consider Christianity, it's a way for Christians who want to maintain their status quo and not think about new things to feel secure in their beliefs. By the end they're like "Yeah, porn's bad, and I knew that. Faith validated, Jesus points earned."

I agree 100% I mean I'm Catholic. You know what my favorite "Catholic" movie is? The Excorsist. My Priests is Return of the Jedi. Although it must be said I have never met a Priest that is not as letter perfect on Monty Python's the Life of Brian as they are on the Bible. (Which really tells you everything you need to know about how the Catholic Hierachy actually works. The answer... like government, in spite of itself.)

But I have never met an actual person of faith that can honestly answer the question, "who in God's name are these movies actually made for?" I don't even think the people in them actually enjoy them. Except maybe Kurt Cameron, but this one at least centers around him masturbating. so at least he had some fun in rehearsals.

and really? They made a "Christian" movie where the main plot points is Kurt Cameron jacking off? I'm trying to figure out what part of the Bible that comes from?

Jimothy Sterling:
"I miss the old style MDF."

Like the one we had before this one?

Christ, you change the formula up now and then, and people think it's the end of days. There's nothing to miss, people. I just do these types of episodes to keep things interesting for me from time to time.

Can you just keep your solely ironic sarcastic videos confined to your youtube channel? As much as I like it every once and awhile, its not actually defending a movie, which is confusing to people who are new to the site as it messes with their expectations for future videos and gets those who like the original format disappointed creating a divide on a weekly basis. Its also a shame that out of so many underrated movies out there, a week is wasted because of this.

TheUnbeholden:

Jimothy Sterling:
"I miss the old style MDF."

Like the one we had before this one?

Christ, you change the formula up now and then, and people think it's the end of days. There's nothing to miss, people. I just do these types of episodes to keep things interesting for me from time to time.

Can you just keep your solely ironic sarcastic videos confined to your youtube channel? As much as I like it every once and awhile, its not actually defending a movie, which is confusing to people who are new to the site as it messes with their expectations for future videos and gets those who like the original format disappointed creating a divide on a weekly basis. Its also a shame that out of so many underrated movies out there, a week is wasted because of this.

I disagree. Because I do your point is mute. You want it one way, I want it the other so Jim's only course of action is to make the things HE wants to make not what one of us specifically wants

Really? basing a whole video on the premise of attacking the "soft target" of white people?

And you wonder why you get thrown into the SJW pile Jim.

Next you'll tell me misandry is a myth too. What a farce.

Happyninja42:

twosage:
The final stage is Kirk Cameron.

You can fight it at the early stages (Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis have been living with it for years), but once it reaches Cameron's advanced state... it's terminal. It's just a shame it took him so young.

Meh, I don't consider it a shame. He wasn't a very good actor, and still isn't. The fact that his religious nutbaggery has him sidelined into stupid religious propoganda works and nothing else, doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I meant it was more of a shame on a human level. It depresses me to see anyone reduced to buffoonery by insidious memes they can neither understand nor control.

 Pages PREV 1 2

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here