Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed: Unity - From Pirates to Paris

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Assassin's Creed: Unity - From Pirates to Paris

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Assassin's Creed: Unity.

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Si se acabara todo el contenido del internet y solo pudiera quedar una cosa, me gustaria que fuera esto

Tecuyin:
Si se acabara todo el contenido del internet y solo pudiera quedar una cosa, me gustaria que fuera esto

qué? I think this is the first time I've seen a post on here in spanish.

The future narrative used to be cool but now it just sounds like it is really pointless.

This game sounds like a total wash. Not that I'm that much of a fan of them anyway.

I am surprised there was no gag about the missing faces in Yahtzee's video though. :)

Right Hook:

qué? I think this is the first time I've seen a post on here in spanish.

Shame it's not in French, given the game.

So where was I? Oh yes. Do you really have to use the hidden blade to assassinate now? That seems kind of lame. I'd gotten used to murdering people however I wanted.

Oki doki. If all the content of the internet vanish but only one thing remain, i would like to be this. sorry for the bad pronunciation compadre

ZZoMBiE13:
This game sounds like a total wash. Not that I'm that much of a fan of them anyway.

I am surprised there was no gag about the missing faces in Yahtzee's video though. :)

Probably because the issue has already been commented on by everyone and their cat, so given that the videos are relatively short he decided not to mention them, not that there's any lack of stuff in Unity to make gags about (or just plain gag about).

OT How awesome would it be if Yahtzee made a ZP episode after a teaspoon of mustard? (Awesome for everyone except the man himself, obviously). It will never happen, but still...

"Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or Death? the last, much the easiest to bestow, O, Guillotine!"
-Charles Dickens

There, now you have gained more from that one sentence then you ever could have playing an entire game. And as an added bonus, the sentence does not crash back to desktop every five minutes.

So.... If they'd patch the game and fix all the technical issues, would it an actually good game?

TheYeIIowDucK:
So.... If they'd patch the game and fix all the technical issues, would it an actually good game?

Gameplay wise? Probably, Paris looks great and the Free-Running seems cool when out in the open.

However, the Revolution is depicted... mildly incorrectly, especially concerning Robispierre. In general, the research quality in the previous games isn't here- most of the organisations or people who were of gray morality in the Revolution and Reign of Terror are all Templars, to the point where a French politician said the game was glorified Right-Wing propaganda: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2839167/Off-heads-French-socialists-declare-new-Assassin-s-Creed-video-game-right-wing-propaganda-against-people-portraying-revolutionary-leader-psychopath.html

tl,dr: Gameplay wise it'd be OK when patched. Story wise? Just buy Rogue when it hits PC next year for that.

Right Hook:

qué? I think this is the first time I've seen a post on here in spanish.

Nobody expects the Spanish Escapism! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and message boards... message boards and surprise.

Our two weapons are message boards and surprise... and speaking Spanish. Our three weapons are message boards and surprise and speaking Spanish... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Yahtzee.

Now I understand why Ubisoft couldn't afford to add female characters. They couldn't even afford QA testers.

Aardvaarkman:

Right Hook:

qué? I think this is the first time I've seen a post on here in spanish.

Nobody expects the Spanish Escapism!

Nice. I guess thats low content, but I needed you to know anyway :D

Eh, mermaids probably count as sea mammals, totally not weird...

Sylocat:
Now I understand why Ubisoft couldn't afford to add female characters. They couldn't even afford QA testers.

*Rimshot*

TheYeIIowDucK:
So.... If they'd patch the game and fix all the technical issues, would it an actually good game?

Really, AC: Unity just seems to be incredibly unpolished, and even if they hammered out all the bugs, that wouldn't change all of the other negative aspects, of which there are many; from the loss of the piracy parts of AC4, to the constant harrassing for your subscription, to the immersion breaking narrative, to the outright assassination (pun not intended) of the parties in the french revolution, to the Assassin Order being just sort of uninvolved with the story...

Really, AC has done what the good Mr. Croshaw accused CoD:AW of last week; joined the Yearly Game Club, to the detriment of the game's quality. AC needs to breathe, and in order for that to happen, the series needs to go on a longer development cycle between releases.

I'm pleasantly surprised that there wasn't a single bad joke about the French in this video.

Worse than AssCreed 3? That's one hell of a judgement. But yeah this is pretty much accurate if my observations of the Xbox One version are anything to go by. Maybe it will be much better when it's fixed, but it shouldn't have released broken anyway.

Oh man, I forgot how porn tried to make you sign up until 'Tube' sites came along, dark times indeed.

TheYeIIowDucK:
So.... If they'd patch the game and fix all the technical issues, would it an actually good game?

Ehhhhhhhhh, meh.

It's odd, there's nothing technically wrong with it in the sense that it ticks all the boxes, but it just doesn't grab you IMO, and it lacks some key factor to draw you in; the first AC was a novelty and had a reasonably interesting story, even if it occasionally fell down a little in the execution - AC2 and its spinoffs had Ezio who has been hands-down the best player character in the series so far, did a fantastic job tying his story into the events of the period, and was set in the Renaissance which is always a plus - AC3, well...em, there were forests and stuff? Eh, Connor was OK as a protagonist if a tad dull, and the story was alright, but as mentioned in the video the primary thought I had while playing it was "why isn't this the more interesting of the two Revolutions?" - AC4 wasn't bad either, pirates are always fun and the sheer scope and detail of the world were a selling point - Unity though? Arno feels like a faded copy of Ezio, all the life drained out, and the story just kind of sits there, off to the side of the Revolution; it's definitely going on around you, and once in a while it intrudes into the main story(rather abruptly I thought, you're just pottering along and hallo thar Napoleon, nice to meet you Robespierre, oh are you off so soon bye then), apparently there's a lot more of the actual history as part of the co-op missions, but the problem with that is A; they're co-op missions, and I have no desire to have random numpties in my single-player story-driven game moaning at me to skip the cutscenes, and B; they're co-op missions, which means they're just disconnected icons on the city map that can be completed in any order and at any time, out of sequence with each other and long before or after they actually happened in relation to the date of the main storyline, so they don't serve as the anchor to the period that they should.

All in all, if you like AC games, it's one of those, so you'll derive some entertainment from it, but I'd wait and get it on sale because its defining quality seems to be "missed opportunity". They built this incredible recreation of the Paris of the period, which is rather spoiled by the buggy engine and the fact that most of the detail takes place at street level while the game mechanics make it much more logical to stick to the rooftops, and they had an incredible series of historical events with some fantastic themes and plot hooks, but decided to shunt most of them off into optional online-only side missions and focus the main story on an uninspired retread of Ezio's arc and what should by rights have been a romantic sub-plot.

I think a golden opportunity was missed here to reinvent both the Templars and Assassins. Basically throughout all of history, the Assassins have been awesome and the Templars giant dicks. But it would have been really cool if they pulled a Wanted, and still kept most of the Templars evil, but added a twist that the Assassins are very morally questionable and very easily manipulated. If they had the player kill some nobles only to learn later said nobles were actually really nice, but the head Assassins got snubbed at a party by them or something, that'd be a fun twist. Anything other than pure heroic heroism on the parts of the Assassins. Its always Robin Hood in white, and that gets rather boring.

TheYeIIowDucK:
So.... If they'd patch the game and fix all the technical issues, would it an actually good game?

No, the game is considered mediocre and boring, even for those lucky few that never encountered a bug.

So Ubi is beginning to falter with the series and Black Flag was probably the fluke to 3 and Unity's fumbles. Sounds about right. If they're going to make the series yearly they need to find another way besides just firing out console releases year after year. Maybe they should consider putting the series on handhelds and rotating them with the console titles. At this rate, AC isn't going to last much longer and with the inevitable blackhole created from its absence, Ubisoft would be in trouble. It amaze me at how so many game companies fail to get such basic business concepts down.

Silentpony:
I think a golden opportunity was missed here to reinvent both the Templars and Assassins. Basically throughout all of history, the Assassins have been awesome and the Templars giant dicks. But it would have been really cool if they pulled a Wanted, and still kept most of the Templars evil, but added a twist that the Assassins are very morally questionable and very easily manipulated. If they had the player kill some nobles only to learn later said nobles were actually really nice, but the head Assassins got snubbed at a party by them or something, that'd be a fun twist. Anything other than pure heroic heroism on the parts of the Assassins. Its always Robin Hood in white, and that gets rather boring.

That sounds like what AC:Rogue is shooting for, since that game has you(actually you're the same nameless, faceless, voiceless Abstergo employee you were in IV) controlling an Assassin who switches sides to the Templars after a mission gone wrong, and it shows that the Assassins weren't all squeaky clean as we thought. Then again, the order of Ezio's time had cavorting with mercenaries, thieves, and prostitutes. It at least explains how the Colonial Brotherhood fell before Connor built it up again. But that Templars fighting among themselves sounds intriguing (since I love it when antagonists fight among themselves, because that's so rare), but odd that the freedom-loving Assassins would sit out this revolution.

looks like Assassins creed has finally found its franchise killer am i right? also hopefully the final nail in ubisofts coffin too. also fuck uplay and fuck ps plus

I think I'm just done with Ubisoft for a while. They can't even release working games anymore and are instead focused on how they can trick you into preordering.

I just can't wrap my head around the idea that they had the audacity to not just release an unfinished product, but also fill it with microtransactions and constant Uplay reminders. And then there's that "companion app" that you have to integrate into in order to unlock stuff that you already payed for. Who the fuck thought that would be a good idea? They even advertize Uplay integration crap as a feature. It's a nuisance, not a feature. It doesn't benefit the consumers at all. I'm glad that I had enough reason to ignore this the moment I saw those abysmal system requirements. I suspect I won't be buying anymore of the Assassin's Creed games. Perhaps Rogue on sale some day. But I think I'm done because I don't think Ubisoft is smart enough to let go of the shit they decided to implement in Unity. Microtransactions and gated content are here to stay.

Aiddon:
So Ubi is beginning to falter with the series and Black Flag was probably the fluke to 3 and Unity's fumbles. Sounds about right.

Well... possibly, but this misses the fact that AC: Rogue is actually quite good and relatively polished. Sure, it's being overshadowed by it's bigger, more heavily marketed next-gen counterpart, but the fact that Rogue can exist and be good somewhat undercuts the narrative that Unity's sole problem was it's development cycle.

Tecuyin:
Si se acabara todo el contenido del internet y solo pudiera quedar una cosa, me gustaria que fuera esto

I would like if they stopped with all the internet stuff and could stay with one thing.

Zachary Amaranth:
So where was I? Oh yes. Do you really have to use the hidden blade to assassinate now? That seems kind of lame. I'd gotten used to murdering people however I wanted.

Totally, its very lame. Being creative with your kills was a big part of the fun, seems like they did this as part of the "making it more challenging" as you have to get close to the target instead of hitting them with a frenzy dart or something.

Tecuyin:
Oki doki. If all the content of the internet vanish but only one thing remain, i would like to be this. sorry for the bad pronunciation compadre

Amusing idea. When the aliens discover Earth and find this recording, they'll conclude that human beings have photo-receptors that are extremely sensitive to yellow, have extremely well developed vocal cords that allow them to speak fast without stopping for breath, and have two basic body types: short and dark with pointy ears, or tall and white with a cleft head.

Wait, Desmond was chopped to pieces?
O_O
For once I would like a game where after 2-3 games main protagonist lives happily ever after
For fucking once

I find it mildly amusing that the escapist played an ad for this very game right before the video itself, when I came in here to watch it.

In truth, I abandoned that Assassin's Creed series after 3, as that was when I realized that, whatever story the creator(s?) may have had in mind back when the series began, it had been completely forgotten and/or abandoned in the process of turning the series into something they could just keep shoving out games for. They wanted to be able to keep putting out Assassin's Creed games, and actually having a functional narrative had clearly gotten in the way of that, so they just ditched it.

lol frankly I was expecting Yahtzee to rip this one apart far more than he did

Why is it called unity? Does it run on the unity engine?

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