Escape to the Movies: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies - There and Back Again

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT
 

Ulquiorra4sama:

bobdole1979:
i'm happy with the bloat its a well made world with nice production values and im more then happy to sit and watch it.

Lets be honest if they did this in 1 or even 2 movies then this winter would really suck.

I'll happily take a bloated Hobbit movie over nothing

the one thing i didn't like was Legolas dad telling him to go north at the end of the movie and why.

Yeah, about that. I haven't read the books or anything, but i was under the impression that the Hobbit took place 50 or 60 years before Lord of the Rings. Yet they phrased that last scene with Legolas in such a way that it seemed as if

was already born. Like i said, i didn't read the books, but i'm pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be in his 60's in LotR.

TsunamiWombat:

Ulquiorra4sama:

bobdole1979:
i'm happy with the bloat its a well made world with nice production values and im more then happy to sit and watch it.

Lets be honest if they did this in 1 or even 2 movies then this winter would really suck.

I'll happily take a bloated Hobbit movie over nothing

the one thing i didn't like was Legolas dad telling him to go north at the end of the movie and why.

Yeah, about that. I haven't read the books or anything, but i was under the impression that the Hobbit took place 50 or 60 years before Lord of the Rings. Yet they phrased that last scene with Legolas in such a way that it seemed as if

was already born. Like i said, i didn't read the books, but i'm pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be in his 60's in LotR.

He was, actually. Aragorn was at least in his 50's.

He's part numenorean, aka superhuman.

ccggenius12:

Mahorfeus:
Not at the very beginning of the battle, but around before the eagles showed up. He doesn't wake up until the rest of the battle is more or less over. I do think that's about how it was in the book.

I do not recall the battle being all that detailed in the book, so I guess Jackson had some leeway in determining on how it went.

Thanks for that info. And yeah, in the book it basically goes "oooh, there's like, five armies and junk", and then Bilbo get's cold cocked within a couple seconds of the fight starting, regaining consciousness after the whole thing is over.

Not exactly, Bilbo goes "this is idiotic" after like five minutes and throwing some rocks and instead gives himself a bruise and finds someplace to hide under a rock until the fighting is over.

Normaly I don't do this but something about LotR makes me super nerdy so. Aragorn is 87 during the events of Lotr and for his kind that is just entering the prime of his life. He lived to be 210 years old.

GamerLuck:
What I'd really love to see is Bob do an episode (maybe on big picture instead of escape to the movies) covering what he thinks of the extended edition once they are all out. I just saw the extended of Desolation a couple days ago, and let me tell you, it elevated that movie from probably a solid 7/10 to full on 10/10. All the pieces of the adaptation that I had WANTED to be in the theatrical movie were right where they were supposed to be, and certain parts of the plot (including WHOLE CHARACTERS COMPLETELY ERASED FROM SCENES) were right where I had wanted them to be. I am holding off on seeing the one for Journey until they release all three together in a box set, but I expect that the films are much better when everything that was left on the cutting room floor is put back where it belongs..

I'll be pleased and surprised if I feel longer versions are better because I've felt the first two Hobbit movies would have been better with more cutting. They felt so bloated that after I felt like I'd tried to eat 50 pounds of sweet rolls. My hope until this point had been that they'd eventually release a "Hobbit, the good and worthy bits" with all the extra crap cut out.

But you say it's better with more? I'll try it and see.

sorry but i disagree

it wasn't fun .. it was tiresome and this the shortest of all the film

the film creates plot holes (does freaking giant zerg worms could have made the orcs won with out even having to battle )

the film waste the potential of its characters stories and throw away all they constructed in the other films in favor of a over simplify the plot ..to the point the film keeps telling you stuff you already know and it already told

there is noo good pay off for not killing smaug in the last film or all the stuff the necromancer

the action is dull .. and feels out of a videogame ( more specific god of war , starcraft and castelvania )

the cgi makes the action scenes have no power .. like everytime a dwarf headbutt anything, i don't feel it .. doesnt feel like they are fighting

the character are all written like idiots (specially the elfs )

they keep reusing icon line or scenes of the lord of the rings but dont do anything new with them ! (expect the eye of sauron but that was better use in the other two films)

and ..thats all i have to say for now

CrazyBlaze:
Well I haven't seen the last one yet I will say that I think the first two could have benefited from a trimming of 20-30 worth of stuff. They were just so damn long and some of the things felt like they were there just to push the movies towards three hours. The second one especially dragged with the both the barrel set and the final Smaug set being far too long (not to mention the total lack of pay off with the Smaug set).

The Smaug stuff in the second one too long? I beg to DIFFER!

Smaug is the coolest thing I have seen on screen in my entire life as a movie-goer. And its pretty much all I do.

The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park brings a tear to my eye. The Alien is horrible and fascinating. Gollum was a technical achievement, although he still looked animated. The Transformers are cool, but overdesigned, the Balrog is...probably cooler than Smaug, but it has no screen time and doesnt say anything...but Smaug...Smaug is a PERFECT 10.

His look, his TERRIBLE grin and the brilliant voice. The Smaug section in the second movie is probably my favorite of anything. To infuse a creation with the exact amount of cleverness, evilness and majesty...my hat is off. Smaug is FANTASTIC.

The third movie was as bob said, fun. To me the second hobbit movie is the best one, the dwarves finally going into the mountain being one of my favorite moments in the entire 6 movies. But the final one was a fun romp through Middle-Earth. I like how he has tied the story together with the lotr trilogy, and how future generations can watch them both, the hobbits first and it still makes sense. I got what I wanted, more ME adventure. There wasnt enough to make a proper story of the hobbit anyway, I'm glad PJ made this as he did. And yeah, the HFR or whatever its called is...jarring.

I have honestly enjoyed this trilogy much more than the first one. Lord of the Rings was good, but it had so much panoramic flying around and extended just looks at things, it was boring as hell after the first time through. I have watched the first two Hobbit films multiple times and enjoyed them each time. Don't get me wrong, the ending to the second film was bullshit. But overall these are much more enjoyable films.

tzimize:

CrazyBlaze:
Well I haven't seen the last one yet I will say that I think the first two could have benefited from a trimming of 20-30 worth of stuff. They were just so damn long and some of the things felt like they were there just to push the movies towards three hours. The second one especially dragged with the both the barrel set and the final Smaug set being far too long (not to mention the total lack of pay off with the Smaug set).

The Smaug stuff in the second one too long? I beg to DIFFER!

Smaug is the coolest thing I have seen on screen in my entire life as a movie-goer. And its pretty much all I do.

The dinosaurs in Jurassic Park brings a tear to my eye. The Alien is horrible and fascinating. Gollum was a technical achievement, although he still looked animated. The Transformers are cool, but overdesigned, the Balrog is...probably cooler than Smaug, but it has no screen time and doesnt say anything...but Smaug...Smaug is a PERFECT 10.

His look, his TERRIBLE grin and the brilliant voice. The Smaug section in the second movie is probably my favorite of anything. To infuse a creation with the exact amount of cleverness, evilness and majesty...my hat is off. Smaug is FANTASTIC.

The third movie was as bob said, fun. To me the second hobbit movie is the best one, the dwarves finally going into the mountain being one of my favorite moments in the entire 6 movies. But the final one was a fun romp through Middle-Earth. I like how he has tied the story together with the lotr trilogy, and how future generations can watch them both, the hobbits first and it still makes sense. I got what I wanted, more ME adventure. There wasnt enough to make a proper story of the hobbit anyway, I'm glad PJ made this as he did. And yeah, the HFR or whatever its called is...jarring.

Let me clarify. The part where the dwarves ran around for half an hour to cover Smaug in gold only for him to shake it off and fly away is to long. Parts could of easily been cut from the whole scene without lessening the rest of the movie. Smaug himself was amazing and Benedict Cumberbatch's voice work is simply one of the greatest things ever. However that chase scene (along with the barrel scene) could have been edited better to cut down time. Most of the movie was great except for those couple of overly long, clearly extended to push the time closer to three hours, set pieces.

Here is my problem with the premise of the review. Having a fun with a bunch of set pieces is all fine and dandy, but if you are going to set it upon the framework of an existing story, I get to hold that against you. By using the outline of someone else's work to bolster your own, you yourself have brought the idea of respect and faithfulness into the equation.

If you want to tell your own story, the do it with an original property. Yes, without the name recognition, it will be harder to get people in those seats, but if the film is good, people will find it anyway.

I was so ready to just put this one down in the dumps about halfway through. Shit just phases in and out with little to no explanation, with the worst example being those worms. Oh, giant worms that could eat us all? Man we'll have to work hard to...never mind, guess those aren't showing up again. The dialogue is a lot of telling what we're seeing. Billy Connolly is entirely CGI'd for no reason other than "we didn't want to take the time to make the armor and costume." And woof, that pacing. You can feel Peter Jackson just wanting everyone to get out of the building. Gandalf is half dead? Never mind, dude's got shit to do.

Still, there are parts that show we could've had a fantastic series on our hands. The best scenes were Thorin wrestling with his sanity and Bilbo trying to bring him back. I would've loved to have seen more of a connection with Bilbo, or at least his simple values, being the catalyst that knocks Thorin back to reality. Like instead of being swallowed by dream gold, he sees the acorn Bilbo was carrying sitting there. But when he grabs it it turns out to be a gold piece, and he realizes what he's lost. But hey, what we got was still great from Thorin. Thorin and Bilbo are infinitely more interesting leads than "I don't want to be King" and "Sam, I'm gonna cry now" from the OG trilogy, so it would've been nice to have more play from them. Thranduil actually becomes a character with depth in this movie, who has real motivations for his dickishness that actually makes him a little sympathetic.

The climax definitely saved this movie for me though (although it still doesn't rise beyond C+ territory). People actually died for once (OG only had one friggin person die the entire time). And the climactic fight between Thorin and Azog was just terrific stuff. One of the best changes they made was creating a more tangible central villain than just a giant eye that yells at people. Azog was a brute force who was real throughout the entire series. The romantic subplot (while still pretty forced) actually ended in a place I didn't think Jackson had the balls to take it. And oh yeah, it doesn't end 13 different times.

All in all, this series actually could've surpassed the original if they had put the time into it that they did with the first ones.

walsfeo:

GamerLuck:
What I'd really love to see is Bob do an episode (maybe on big picture instead of escape to the movies) covering what he thinks of the extended edition once they are all out. I just saw the extended of Desolation a couple days ago, and let me tell you, it elevated that movie from probably a solid 7/10 to full on 10/10. All the pieces of the adaptation that I had WANTED to be in the theatrical movie were right where they were supposed to be, and certain parts of the plot (including WHOLE CHARACTERS COMPLETELY ERASED FROM SCENES) were right where I had wanted them to be. I am holding off on seeing the one for Journey until they release all three together in a box set, but I expect that the films are much better when everything that was left on the cutting room floor is put back where it belongs..

I'll be pleased and surprised if I feel longer versions are better because I've felt the first two Hobbit movies would have been better with more cutting. They felt so bloated that after I felt like I'd tried to eat 50 pounds of sweet rolls. My hope until this point had been that they'd eventually release a "Hobbit, the good and worthy bits" with all the extra crap cut out.

But you say it's better with more? I'll try it and see.

It's weird, but that's how it is with Jackson. I mean look at the biggest complaints with this movie, about how stuff fades in and out without much explanation or reason. Legolas has Orcrist? When did that happen? Where did those worms go?

A lot of it is dealt with in the extended editions. The parsed down stuff feels like it's missing something or it goes nowhere. The extended usually fills in that missing part.

MatsVS:
Ugh. I've been saying since the first Hobbit film that this is a disaster of Star Wars Prequel levels

I'm going to have to disagree. Even if we allow that the Hobbit movies are themselves as bad as the SW Prequels (which I personally don't though I haven't seen the last one yet), the fact that the Hobbit is based off a book means that the 'damage' will be limited. We have 'The Hobbit' book and its still great, with the Prequels they are cannon and all we have. Moreover Lucas went back and changed parts of the original trilogy to match the prequels.

I think there were also different expectations going into the trilogies. People were genuinely excited for the SW prequels and had little idea what to expect from them; then Phantom Menace was a complete disappointment. With the Hobbit there were already big questions over splitting the movie into three parts and how Jackson would make the Hobbit, which is very different in tone to LoTRs fit into the cinematic world he created for the first films. Ultimately I think Jackson failed at making the Hobbit feel true to both the book and the LoTRs movies, but then this was arguably impossible anyway. So people, at least Tolkien nerds, had already tempered their exceptions before going into the first movie.

Ulquiorra4sama:
Interesting. I was not aware of that. Perhaps its time i got my lazy ass back in that couch and did some reading. Guess it all checks out then. Thank you for clearing that up for me!

Don't worry about it. There are lots of important stuff which is fairly well hidden in the LoTRs books, for a lot of this stuff you have to read either the appendices or the Silmarilian; at a minimum really pay attention to the main text. For example I had read the books about 5 times before realizing that Gandalf is the Middle-Earth equivalent of an angel sent thousands of years previously to protect the world from Sauron. Knowing this would have made me accept his rebirth as Gandalf the White which always seemed like an ass-pull when I assumed that he was just some old dude who knew a few tricks. Similarly from what I remember (and people will correct me if I'm wrong), but Aragon is supposed to have elvish blood from the Rivendale elves. Hence his marriage to Arwen at the end has all kinds of historical connotations and is fairly important, however she's hardly in the books and by the time, at the age of eight, I reached the end of Return of the King I'd completely forgotten who she was. (Also not helped by her having almost the same name as the only other 'major' female character Erowyn).

I don't think of the Hobbit movies as The Hobbit so much as I see them as Lord of the Rings: The Prequel Trilogy. When Tolkien went back to edit the Hobbit to make it tie in more with LOTR, he stopped himself saying that if he changed anymore for the sake of continuity, it wouldn't be The Hobbit anymore.

That's how I feel about these movies. They are the result of what would have happened if Tolkien hadn't stopped, and everything had to be a call forward or foreshadowing of things to come. It impedes on the original narrative, and you can pretty much tell exactly where every addition was made, and how easily it could be cut for time.

At least there won't be a movie of the Silmarillion any time soon. They actually used parts of it for the Hobbit as well as going deep into the endpapers of the Lord of the Rings. My favourite part in the notes at the end of the Lord of the Rings is when golf is invented by one of the hobbits during a battle with the orcs by accident when someone's head is knocked off with a club and goes down a rabbit hole.

MatsVS:
Ugh. I've been saying since the first Hobbit film that this is a disaster of Star Wars Prequel levels, and I still think history will be on my side in this. Not even considering that these films are structured and written awfully, "epic showdowns" in the context of the Middle-Earth universe isn't cool, it's contrived, infantile, and most importantly, contrary to the creator's vision. It's tantamount to neck beards sitting around having "who would win between"-discussions (which I guess is painfully accurate). Hell, even the most grandiose fight scenes from the Silmarillion were tinged with tragedy and melancholy more than anything else.

That this is now the "face" of the franchise is utterly devastating.

To be fair, Peter Jackson DOES have a legitimate excuse here to change stuff up. The original Hobbit book was created by Bilbo Baggins himself. So it only stands to reason that he changed a few events to suit his own story. This did allow Jackson the free will to do whatever he pleased. Now, if only he added these things WELL, we wouldn't be discussing the problems today.

OT: Just saw it. Definitely the best climax of what the Hobbit movies are but still kind of insulting to the book. The anti-war message is lost when you depict the actual battle. Sure, I get that it doesn't work for a movie set up but the admittedly awesome set pieces contrasts with the book's anti-violence message. I guess I liked it, though. Now comes binge watching all extended editions of the entire 6 movie series. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!!

I'm....still not entirely looking forward to it. The Hobbit is and was always one of my favourite books, it was the first book I read on my own outside of doctor zeus and the like. I rewatched An Unexpected Journey the other day and it's just a slog to watch. EVERYTHING has to be this massive spectacle, full of battles and chase scenes that add no character development, clearly have no tension, pad the running time like a fake pair of GGs and never happened or significantly altered to what's in the book. Its just look at MY version of things, isn't MY version of events so much better than Tolkeins? Of course it is! Look, LOOK LOOK AT THIS COOL THING LOOK HOW COOL I AM!

The second film was just....ugh. Almost 3/4s of that film are entirely the product of Jacksons head, which contains Legolas tonguebaths. Nothing to do with the book at all. I'm even fine with Legolas making a cameo in the Elven Kings hall, he was (most likely) the prince mentioned in the book. But Legolas ended up being the main character for a ton of The Desolation of Smaug. It's Bilbos story for fuck sake. Speaking of which, he gets dragged through the dirt by the Dwarves worse than he really...got dragged through the dirt. Even by the end of Laketown they still seem to find him rather rubbish and not have much respect for him.

I'm fine with the white council and necromancer plots being in there, they happened and are alluded to. But adding an entire subplot that deals with anachronistic events that never happened or just completely changing things is annoying. What's worse is they cut things in order to make room for the new story they invented, which then runs longer than the film would've done had they kept things true to the book! It completely ruins the tone.

And the Dwarves? Why are the handsome ones defined as the most human looking with no beards? A dwarf with no beard is a disgrace ¬¬ Especially Thorin, he's supposed to have a long beard and is king /of/ the fucking Longbeards. Pah, Jackson clearly has it in for Dwarves anyway, given Gimli got demoted to comic relief in LotR with Legolas lording it over him, while the Dwarves that don't fit into Jacksons vision are all comical, crap or have almost no screen time.

Gizmo1990:
I liked it. It was much better than the 2nd one. Plus I also don't care how much fan service or unnecessary it was:

Or how about

It was such a fun film, the scale of the battle was just amazing, i have never seen a film were 75% of it is literally a battle between 5 armies, call this film what you want guys, but it does some things better than Lotr did by a mile.

And why is everyone complaining about the giant worms? They are called Earth Eaters for a reason...they eat earth, not peope, think of them as GIANT version of the worms you find in your garden. Why would they attack when that isn't what they used for? :S

God some people didn't pay attention.

just saw it on thursday and still had a good time with it too. i would not say its a great movie but still good.sure, not everything is 100% to the book but on screen it worked pretty well with these changes jackson has made. i sure will get the trilogy pack once its out on dvd. all 3 of them area good watch and sure have a nice connection to the LOTR movies.

Sounds pretty much like how I heard it described by a friend. "If you're a huge ultra-mega fan of the original book...well you'll likely be disappointed. If you just love some good ol' Fantasy action: it's really good."

"Fun" is the way I'd shorten that description if I had to put it into a single word.

I haven't seen any of the Hobbit movies yet...but a friend of mine has the first two one Blu-Ray and has said he'll let me borrow them. I'm just waiting for him to remember to bring them to work so he can give them to me to borrow. :P

Once I have all the DVDs for these films I'm going to edit them together into a single shorter film, with all extraneous material taken out, mostly the unnecessary White Council stuff, and see if it's more enjoyable that way.

I honestly got bored watching the last instalment. I'm a big Tolkien fan, so you'd probably expect someone like me to lap up the fan service, but sometimes more just isn't more. I'm apprehensive about seeing this one because I don't want to be checking my watch 30 minutes before the end. I'm looking at you Return of the King.

I still can't believe they turned a 365 page childrens' book into three 3-hour films. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was over 700 pages and they only made a single film out of that... and that was still boring as hell too.

arc1991:

Gizmo1990:
I liked it. It was much better than the 2nd one. Plus I also don't care how much fan service or unnecessary it was:

Or how about

It was such a fun film, the scale of the battle was just amazing, i have never seen a film were 75% of it is literally a battle between 5 armies, call this film what you want guys, but it does some things better than Lotr did by a mile.

And why is everyone complaining about the giant worms? They are called Earth Eaters for a reason...they eat earth, not peope, think of them as GIANT version of the worms you find in your garden. Why would they attack when that isn't what they used for? :S

God some people didn't pay attention.

HOW DID I FORGET THAT! That was epic incarnate. His first line 'I was wondering if you would mind simply RUNNING AWAY!'. He was not on screen long enough.

LaoJim:

MatsVS:
Ugh. I've been saying since the first Hobbit film that this is a disaster of Star Wars Prequel levels

I'm going to have to disagree. Even if we allow that the Hobbit movies are themselves as bad as the SW Prequels (which I personally don't though I haven't seen the last one yet), the fact that the Hobbit is based off a book means that the 'damage' will be limited. We have 'The Hobbit' book and its still great, with the Prequels they are cannon and all we have. Moreover Lucas went back and changed parts of the original trilogy to match the prequels.

I think there were also different expectations going into the trilogies. People were genuinely excited for the SW prequels and had little idea what to expect from them; then Phantom Menace was a complete disappointment. With the Hobbit there were already big questions over splitting the movie into three parts and how Jackson would make the Hobbit, which is very different in tone to LoTRs fit into the cinematic world he created for the first films. Ultimately I think Jackson failed at making the Hobbit feel true to both the book and the LoTRs movies, but then this was arguably impossible anyway. So people, at least Tolkien nerds, had already tempered their exceptions before going into the first movie.

These... are really good points. I still feel that the comparison is warranted on a purely technical level, but I feel less sad about it now, so cheers for that.

Obviously this wasn't as good as the lord of the rings; that's inherent to the source material being adapted (especially since they did the Hobbit movies after the main trilogy, as that removed a lot of the stakes). And some of the lines, the romance particularly, are kinda cringeworthy.

That doesn't keep this movie from being one of the best fantasy action movies ever! I mean, the scenes with Smaug and the sequence on raven hill were probably among the coolest I've ever seen! Thorin's fight on the ice and Legolas's fight on the fallen tower were so great! Just amazing choreography that, like sliding down the stairs on a shield at Helm's Deep and down the oliphant trunk during the battle for Minas Tirith, further prove the Legolas is the most ridiculously OP badass in cinema.

Granted I wish we saw about 20 more seconds of Beorn and the eagles trashing goblins, that scene felt a little short.

CoffeeOfDoom:
Out of interest what was the joke? I haven't had chance to go to the cinema yet.

Gizmo1990:

CoffeeOfDoom:
Snip

I will put it in spoilers just in case

And to expand upon Gizmo's answer, the Sackville-Baggins's are basically Bilbo's unwanted relations. At the start of Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo talks with Frodo about the family wanting Bag End and believing they have a claim upon it, and never forgiving him for living so long. The Sackville Baggins's are that family, and the scene with the auction is where that feud begins.

The series in order of my preferance goes
1. 5 Armies
2. Unexpected Adventure
3. Desolation
I really enjoyed all of them and will without doubt probably watch the box set at least once a year in a marathon. I really enjoyed this last film. I couldn't care less of three films for a single book is too much, I think this book deserves it to be honest, and the more Middle Earth I get the better.

Welp, that's done.
Time for a six movie adaptation of The Silmarillion! :D

What was that last picture supposed to be referencing?
Is Spider-man going to be in the Marvel cinematic universe...?

Tradjus:
Welp, that's done.
Time for a six movie adaptation of The Silmarillion! :D

Six movies, that's not nearly enough. There needs to be at least 50 Silmarillion movies made if not more.

I gotta say that I didn't like the Special Fx in the first movie (Azog and the huargs looked extremely cartoony and "shiny" for some reason), and I DREAD to see the second one ever again since it had a stronger than strong feel of being just filler.

But watching the third one was a pretty good time, made all better by having Christopher Lee, seeing him fight on basically anything is just SO FUCKING COOL!

daxterx2005:
What was that last picture supposed to be referencing?
Is Spider-man going to be in the Marvel cinematic universe...?

Hackers/leaked stuff/whatever revealed that Marvel and Sony were talking about letting Spider Man be in the Civil War movies but that ended in nothing as it seems.

I know that I will see it and enjoy it, but my greatest enjoyment of the Hobbit films will be some time after the extended dvd is released. I am eagerly looking forward to the fanedits that will come out on fanedit.org eventually. I know someone will do a "book" edit and try to minimize the 3 movies into what was just in the book. And of course some will just try to make a really good version, keeping extra stuff, but cutting out all the most offensive bits of filler (dwarf-elf romanceish stuff and elvish "healing" (magic) in the second, Azog), probably ending up with 2 movies. It will be worth waiting for.

arc1991:

Gizmo1990:
I liked it. It was much better than the 2nd one. Plus I also don't care how much fan service or unnecessary it was:

Or how about

It was such a fun film, the scale of the battle was just amazing, i have never seen a film were 75% of it is literally a battle between 5 armies, call this film what you want guys, but it does some things better than Lotr did by a mile.

And why is everyone complaining about the giant worms? They are called Earth Eaters for a reason...they eat earth, not peope, think of them as GIANT version of the worms you find in your garden. Why would they attack when that isn't what they used for? :S

God some people didn't pay attention.

Because if you have a Freaking Giant Worms That dig tunnels for your freaking army ... there is no one goddammn reason why you cant dig your way into the lonely mountain, kill Thorin and his Dwarfs and take over the kingdom under the mountain while the Elf king and Dáin kill each other

.. the Freaking Worms are "game changing factor" because they are basically free way pass into any fortified city in the Tolkien universe

remember all the troubles Mordor had to get into the white city of Gondor ?

well giant worms mean you don't even need to take the damn river .. you can dig your way into Gondor .. catch everyone off guard and win the war before your enemy knows the war has started

beside.... THERE ARE NO FREAKING GIANT WORM IN THE TOLKIEN UNIVERSE !!!!

in the books "worm" is a term they use to talk about DRAGONS .. more specifically Serpent like Dragons that cant Fly

Maaaaaan, I'd say this was by far my least favorite of the three. I've seen the extended cuts of both previous films and outside of the plot following Thorin's father, I thought they were pretty fantastically done, and almost criminally undercut the movie through a lot of necessary omissions, particularly the Mirkwood forest, which is like 25 minutes in the extended cut, and gets tense as fuck! This film, having not seen its extended cut yet, felt almost totally flawed. Its pacing was all over the place, using what should have been the climax of the last film as its opening, it had weird hardcore death scenes with war is hell aftermaths followed immediately by a dwarf comically headbutting 5 orcs to death, it just couldn't land anything it tried to execute. I've been a long time defender of the first two films, but this one seriously, as movie bob explains, does NOT stick the landing. On anything. Like fucking nothing is executed properly here. The tone is too mixed to work, Legolas is still just in there because PJ really likes him and thinks he's a badass, characters don't evolve whatsoever and not one has a single character arc including Bilbo, the elven/dwarven love was totally mishandled and made pretty pointless to include at all by the end. Me and my roommate have been drunkenly talking about it for hours and I really can't stress how many ways this movie fails. Even the three separate "endings/goodbyes" the film has SUCK DICK! They're awkward, strangely aggressive and threatening, or just depressing. The idyllic ignorant peaceful Shire is what Bilbo fights for the entire film, and it turns out Hobbits are a fucking bunch of dicks willing to lie to your face if it means they can steal your shit. Awesome. Way to end the franchise with some god damn majesty. The hobbits AS A WHOLE GROUP are all cunts trying to rob you. Nicely done Peter Jackson, you made the prequels to Star Wars, movies far too shoved up your own ass capable of shitting out nothing but fan service.

I generally dislike the Hobbit movies thus far. Haven't seen the last one, but I was "meh" about the first one and outright detest the second one. Normally, I'm all for judging every adaptation on its own merits, enjoying the ride and all that. Sure, things might not turn out quite like in the source material, but I'm not one to get stuck on that.

But not when it comes to the Hobbit. I just can't.

I don't mind all the extra stuff they tossed in. I don't really care if it's one film or three. But Jackson's insistence on cutting out parts of the book (like the arrival at Beorn's house), speeding through them (wandering through Mirkwood) or reworking them into gibberish (escape from the elves and the subsequent barrel ride) is just inexcusable. In a film that got its material from Tolkiens notes scribbled on napkins, drawn out and bloated as it is, there's no excuse for not properly covering ALL the content from the ACTUAL BOOK.

Also, you might have noticed that most of my examples were from the second film (and there are more that I haven't mentioned). Yeah, remember how I said I detested that one? My favorite parts of the book were covered in the second film and it really sucked seeing them gutted so we could have a 30 minute CGI-overloaded "goofy" barrel ride/battle. The escape from the Goblin King's domain in the first film was silly, but bearable. This... this was just an abomination.

I'm not saying that they are necessarily bad films, I'm not saying you shouldn't like them. All I'm saying is that I think they're garbage. And I can only hope someone makes a proper film adaptation of this wonderful book during my lifetime...

This is the kind of movie that the more you think about it, the more you hate it. Questions: did we see
-How was Dale organized so that you actually knew the battle's sense of flow?
-ANYTHING about the Elves getting their white jewels back?
-how those giant earthworms got killed?
-any kind of memorable fight scene from the original band of dwarves beyond those that went with Thorin? Even just a highlight?
-any kind of resolution as to what happened to the remaining alive of Thorin's company?
-Or the kingdom of Erebor in general?
-Or Dale, and Bard?
-Or the Elves?
-Or Radagast (beyond that ONE FUCKING SHOT of him during the battle)?
-Or Beorn?

Also, the death scenes (Kili, Thorin) were completely phoned in and so formulaic that the taste of white bread would have more to offer. Thorin's fate in the last fight could have easily been avoided if he had an actual fucking brain to NOT FOLLOW AZOG as he was adrift under the ice, and would've been left to.. you know, DROWN.

The Lord of the Rings wasn't a perfect series if you nitpick at it either, but you can only taste so many hairs and filler in your food to realize that it's total garbage.

This film is garbage.

MovieBob's credibility of his capacity to critique anything has gone to shit with this review. I'm sick to fucking death of him letting disheveled, plothole-ridden, nigh-lacking-in-resolution storytelling and so-disorganized-it's-incomprehensible battle staging get a pass so long as he thinks it's "fun". It's not supposed to be "fun," it's supposed to be brutal, open war, fought with tactics, skill, ferocity, and a rationale for battle. You make war a spectacle by making it a sport: by comprehensibly showing what players have the advantage/disadvantage in numbers, skill, assets, morale, and terrain, and letting the opposing forces naturally, ORGANICALLY duke it out without sparing any details of factors that might turn the tide of the battle. You wanna know why people thought the battle of Helm's Deep to be the greatest battle in the entire franchise? Because it did ALL OF THOSE THINGS at least competently. It's so obvious a formula, and yet here we are, with the clusterfuck that is Battle of the Five Armies, which does NONE of those things.

If anyone honestly thinks that this is a satisfying end to this already overstretched trilogy, then they have no taste for competent storytelling.

I'm glad it is over, but I had fun.

It kinda bothered me that the aesthetic was further high-fantasy than the restrained muddy fantasy of the LOTR trilogy. It felt like I was watching a live action Warhammer or World of Warcraft film at points. It was fun, but I didn't like the contrast in visuals.

Bear bomb was funny though.

I'll say this much - somehow, Legolas's inevitable badassery this time around trumped pretty much everything else he did in the original trilogy. That's an accomplishment.

vid87:
I'll say this much - somehow, Legolas's inevitable badassery this time around trumped pretty much everything else he did in the original trilogy. That's an accomplishment.

badassery? someone forgot to tell one of the people involved in this film that this wasn't a new installment of "god of war"

seriously ..legolas using the bat to fly around and riding a troll are exactly the kind of thing you would see in a god of war quick time event

then .. he goes around jumping form falling rocks to falling rocks like this was super Mario bros or castelvania

and those wroms made me think the starcraft Zergs where going to join the battle

.. i'm not normally the guy to says that a films felt like videogames

but this film made me think of that horrible rpg videogame they made of lord of the rings ... where suddenly you found yourself fighting along gandalf in the mines moria against balrog with your team of of completely original none canon character while frodo escape ..

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here