Zero Punctuation: Talos Principle

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[I]Talos Principle[/i]

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Talos Principle.

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why are there picture of sonic boom at the bottom

That little rhyme at the end made me laugh.

Fading to the next frame instead of Cutting to it? In my Zero Punctuation?!

Kicking off the year with a post credits scene is fully welcomed indeed.

Also relaxation at Christmas when it's summer outside and the earth bursts from the disgusting heat? Australian citizens are stronger than I.

Aeshi:
Fading to the next frame instead of Cutting to it? In my Zero Punctuation?!

New Year, New Review Elements. Hopefully, there will be something more than that as a progression comparable to the singing bits.

Okay, I have to ask. What the hell does Yahtzee mean when he refers to a cocksucking cowboy? Is it a type of cider in Australia? I ask this because if there's an ice cream that's named Golden Gaytime, then ther might be something... Else?

I'm hoping for even more singing this year.

Was that a fade in I saw, getting fruity with the editing are we, 0/10, WOULD NOT WATCH AGAIN, I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!

Aeshi:
Fading to the next frame instead of Cutting to it? In my Zero Punctuation?!

He's cleeeeeearly running out of ideas, sad really.

I was wondering about this game... on the one hand, it seems so pretentious and full of itself, "super-serial" as it were, and on the other it's by Croteam, who made Serious Sam, and Devolver Digital, who published the likes of Broforce, Hatoful Boyfriend, and Hotline Miami. It actually seems a bit off-kilter for them. Glad to hear it was enjoyable.

By the by, Yahtzee, have you played Thomas Was Alone? I would say it shares quite a few similar themes, with the experience of emerging sentience as an AI (via prearranged testing environments) being chiefest among them.

This looks very good, thank you Yahtzee and a happy new year to you.

GrumbleGrump:
Okay, I have to ask. What the hell does Yahtzee mean when he refers to a cocksucking cowboy? Is it a type of cider in Australia? I ask this because if there's an ice cream that's named Golden Gaytime, then ther might be something... Else?

It's a popular Australian shooter made of Butterscotch Schnapps and Baileys Irish Cream. One part Schnapps, two parts Baileys.

Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise!
We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our sandbox shooters! While you have ascended from the dung of Series Sam, and now walk among the Smart Games!

And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true game of man! Ascended from brainless shooters, to rule the realm of puzzle platformers!

The very idea is inconceivable to our AAA overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With puzzle games? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth!

Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment!

And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man!

Nice to see that despite comparing unfavorably to portal it still earned his approval. Smart design from a company that made Serious Sam, would you believe it? Also that ending song is the best thing since sliced bread.

GrumbleGrump:
Okay, I have to ask. What the hell does Yahtzee mean when he refers to a cocksucking cowboy? Is it a type of cider in Australia? I ask this because if there's an ice cream that's named Golden Gaytime, then ther might be something... Else?

It's a shot. Two parts Bailey's, one part Butterscotch schnapps. Probably something I would've considered enjoyable as a teen.

2xDouble:
I was wondering about this game... on the one hand, it seems so pretentious and full of itself, "super-serial" as it were, and on the other it's by Croteam, who made Serious Sam, and Devolver Digital, who published the likes of Broforce, Hatoful Boyfriend, and Hotline Miami. It actually seems a bit off-kilter for them. Glad to hear it was enjoyable.

They brought on new writers for the story of The Talos Principle (namely, Tom Jubert, who did FTL and The Swapper). It is a wee bit pretentious, but it is actually quite clever and well-written, and pays off on alot of its metaphorical wankery at the end. Croteam only handled the gameplay, I think. It's made on the same engine as Serious Sam 3, which does undercut the serious tone a little (ironically).

Is anyone else having problems with the videos on the escapist? all that plays (after the ad) is a 45 second ad for the escapist youtube channel, then it end. no video actually plays. I can't be the only one having this problem.

2xDouble:
I was wondering about this game... on the one hand, it seems so pretentious and full of itself, "super-serial" as it were, and on the other it's by Croteam and Devolver Digital who made Serious Sam and published Broforce, respectively. It actually seems a bit off-kilter for them. Glad to hear it was enjoyable.

By the by, Yahtzee, have you played Thomas Was Alone? I would say it shares quite a few similar themes, with the experience of emerging sentience as an AI (via prearranged testing environments) being chiefest among them.

If you don't mind or actually enjoy philosophy then you shouldn't find this game 'pretentious' because it sets up and talks about the points it's trying to make very well. The writing was done by the guy who wrote FTL and The Swapper, so Croteam just did the actual game. I haven't actually finished it quite yet so maybe it falls apart at the end but the 10+ hours of lead up has been quite enjoyable.

EDIT: And Ninja'd by Fysco...

I wonder if Yahtzee would consider doing a sort of pub sing podcast. He has all the necessary merits: likes drinking, owns a microphone, likes talking into said microphone.

ryukage_sama:
I wonder if Yahtzee would consider doing a sort of pub sing podcast. He has all the necessary merits: likes drinking, owns a microphone, likes talking into said microphone.

He did the rhyming thing with Jim for about a year. I could picture this happening.

Am I the only one who realizes you can play audiologs and still play the game? Even Doom 3 allowed you to exit the PDF, keep the log playing, and continue killing. It was hardly a game stopper.

And now that song will be stuck in my head for the rest of my work day. Thanks! It's quite a jaunty tune.

PunkRex:
Was that a fade in I saw, getting fruity with the editing are we, 0/10, WOULD NOT WATCH AGAIN, I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!

Aeshi:
Fading to the next frame instead of Cutting to it? In my Zero Punctuation?!

He's cleeeeeearly running out of ideas, sad really.

So I take it you didn't like the song at the end. And if he did "fade" from one frame to another, I didn't notice.

Did Yahtzee make a reference to The Company of Myself?

Yahtzee's holiday routine really titillates the senses.

I have a feeling it's going to be a good year for ZP.

The game is called "The Talos Principle"...
Got the be accurate. You know what happens when you do something like this with The Jimquisition.

Random documents and audiologs!
We find them stuck to noticeboards, we find them under dogs!
We're gonna put them in a file and give it a review,
When we're bored of all the gameplay and we've nothing else to do!

(for those that really needed the lyrics)

Darth_Payn:

So I take it you didn't like the song at the end. And if he did "fade" from one frame to another, I didn't notice.

About 3:25 in the video, it fades from the "entering door" frame to the "gone through door" one. I can't speak for Punk Rex, but I was doing mock astonishment, I honestly don't mind/care whether it Cuts, Fades or Wipes.

When I first read the title on Wikipedia's upcoming games list I instantly thought.
"What the shit? Bethesda's making a new Elder Scrolls game and I've never heard of it?"
Sadly it turned out to be completely unrelated to TES and in a genre that interest's me as much as RTS interest's Yahtze.

Finally! A game that I want to purchase with my Steam Gift Card! There has been a lot of meh games for 2014 and none of Yahtzee's top 5 really interested me. I like puzzles and I need to have the puzzle itch scratched.

The Last Melon:
(for those that really needed the lyrics)

Thanks for that, I couldn't figure out what the last line was.

Now to figure out how to get it in an MP3.

Yahtzee should sing more often.

I know how you feel about the new Smash Bros game. Despite being a huge fan of the franchise I was MAJORLY disappointed with the WiiU version. Mostly because they had to gall to totally GUT the single player experience. At least the 3DS version has Smash Run, which at least briefly resembles the fun side scrolling beat-em-up gameplay from the Subspace Emissary and campaign mode from Meelee. Apparently nintendo thinks what people want most from the new smash bros is a graphically updated N-64 game.

Michael Dunkerton:
Heimskr is busy Heimskring it up...

Yeah, I briefly was stuck with that in the back of my head, too. Unfortunately, The Talos Principle references the Greek mythical automaton that was, as the game says, either built by Daedalus or the gods. It's pretty much just a pedantic rephrasing of "If it quacks like a human, is it demonstrably worthy of being considered as a human?"

I love the game for its puzzles, honestly, but I'd say that the philosophical contents aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. In which case, just rewatch the first "Short Circuit" a couple times and you'll get the gist of it.

Solving puzzles with time travel? Hidden stars? Mysterious document fragments? This sounds as much like Braid as it does like Portal. In any case, this sounds like it might be my cup of tea, so perhaps I'll stick it on my Steam wishlist.

I'll admit that I've probably been playing too much Skyrim, since one of the first thoughts to pop into my head upon seeing the title is "What, shout at things?" That said, Talos Principle almost feels like an old school adventure game, albeit one with no comedic angle to it. Not that this is bad, since it keeps the tone nicely, just not my cup of tea--I like to laugh every now and again when I'm mentally engaged to solve problems.

Yahtzee's drunken singing cracked me up, though.

The Talos Principle is a good proof that CroTeam actually do know what they are doing. Serious Sam is meant to be what it is, bombastic and insane carnage.

Johnny Novgorod:
This looks very good, thank you Yahtzee and a happy new year to you.

GrumbleGrump:
Okay, I have to ask. What the hell does Yahtzee mean when he refers to a cocksucking cowboy? Is it a type of cider in Australia? I ask this because if there's an ice cream that's named Golden Gaytime, then ther might be something... Else?

It's a popular Australian shooter made of Butterscotch Schnapps and Baileys Irish Cream. One part Schnapps, two parts Baileys.

Putting the name aside that actually sounds like a rather nice beverage.

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