Zero Punctuation: Battlefield: Hardline - Cops & Robbers

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Battlefield: Hardline - Cops & Robbers

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Battlefield: Hardline.

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Yahtzee, you were surprisingly not too down on this one. Thats rare.

Alas, I was hoping for Bloodborne this week. I guess a game like that might take a little longer to play and analyze.

As for Battlefield, well...at least the ethnically diverse cops and robbers game is less worrying than the ethnic cleansing army game. Still have no interest in playing though.

He has said it takes 2 weeks for a review to come out, also I'm surprised that a) hes going easy on a AAA shooter and b) enjoyed the hotwire mode. Yeah and those trolls on metacritic can go stfu for calling hardline a $60 expansion of BF4. I've had more fun with hardline than I did with BF4.

a gang of allies so perfectly ethnically diverse that they could all line up in order and start a novelty act called the amazing human gradient

Quality.

As for the usual complaints about multiplayer, I'd be interested to hear what exactly Yahtzee expects beyond "trying not to die and being informed 10 minutes later of whether your team had won". This is always going to be the way of things in random matchmaking games played at or below the typical skill level. Yet I'd be surprised if objective based gametypes where there exists a purpose beyond killing the enemy would change his opinion one bit. If you want organization, strategy and a greater sense of purpose, and maybe even fun, sink more time into multiplayer instead of making the same old gripe every time.

Yahtzee's awesome xD

Wait, he didn't rip it a new butthole and fill it with sour cream? Haven't watched it yet since I'm using my phone, but considering that most of the Battlefield community hate this one van more than BF4, I was expecting him to hate the shit out of this game.

I'll admit I haven't really been super into Zero Punctuation lately. I mean most games he reviews I can just look at and know almost exactly what he thinks of it, but this one managed to really make me laugh when he got into arresting the private police and talking about the criminal police. Bravo, Yahtzee. Very funny video.

You can't arrest me! Not if I arrest you first!

Why haven't I used this playground-esque tactic before??

Oh well. Back to bloodborne then.

StreamerDarkly:
If you want organization, strategy and a greater sense of purpose, and maybe even fun, sink more time into multiplayer instead of making the same old gripe every time.

...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

GodzillaGuy92:

...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

Especially since multiplayer becomes utterly disposable due to the game's servers becoming a ghost town. ANd that's before we get into how freaking repetitive the matches become.

"You are a cop on the Feelz. You've been murdered for a spice of cheese you didn't commit. Now, you're out for a good time and to clear your browser history."

OT: Anyway...

1. I would play a game called Bullet Thief just to see what the developers would do with a title like that...
2. So... When someone ask "What does the fox say?", the appropriate response is "RAVE!", then?
3. Well, throwing a grenade is like preparing for a potential arrest... because, in both scenarios, you're hoping the suspect stays still long enough for it to take effect properly...
4. I thought the Criminal Police was just the police only fully run by criminals...
5. There is no 5...

That was unusual.

Also I see you've touched Payday 2? :3

I completely skipped over Battlefield 4 after being so thoroughly bored by Battlefield 3 (though I did watch various people playing BF4), but the "meh" reception to Hardline is something I actually find encouraging. Maybe Battlefield Hardline can good for a few spurts of multiplayer action, and if I get bored I can try out the singleplayer for a bit. Yahtzee being sympathetic to BF: Hardline is definitely a surprise, and a pleasant one at that and I'm no fan of the series.

The complaint about the "return to the battlefield" message really needs to be tooted more by people generally.

I'll wait for the price to go down a bit though.

Yeah, I'd say that list of player names that popped up pretty accurately sums up any given server on any given modern military shooter at any given time. :P

I'm rather surprised this wasn't a bloodborne review.

Probably next week.

GodzillaGuy92:
...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

As always, single player and multiplayer offer very different experiences. It just amazes me how consistently those who worship in the temple of the former will casually dismiss the latter as the food of peasants, unaware of just how similar to religious fundamentalists they sound.

No crossover this year? No Happy Birthday to Yug? It's like Christmas without decorations around here!

OT: I'm getting more nervous for Visceral Games.

StreamerDarkly:

GodzillaGuy92:
...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

As always, single player and multiplayer offer very different experiences. It just amazes me how consistently those who worship in the temple of the former will casually dismiss the latter as the food of peasants, unaware of just how similar to religious fundamentalists they sound.

A one-sentence argument with simple but sound reasoning behind it being met with ad hominem wrapped in a twofold blanket of strawman and unironic comparison to religious fundamentalism. The internet is an amazing place.

I find the idea of pushing diversity too far the other direction to be pretty interesting. It drives me nuts when a game has a "minority" character and it seems like every other line of dialogue they have, or dialogue that mentions them, reminds you of that fact like the designers are afraid we will forget their game features a minority. It also bugs me when the cast is a perfect rainbow of diversity like an educational kids show with a representative from every major racial group and usually someone in a wheelchair to boot. Diversity is generally a good thing, but instances like that feel so forced to the point it might actually be detrimental to the cause they are trying to promote.

What I found amusing is not just that heavily armed guards would surrender rather than simply opening fire but that they would kindly not yell out for help to their pals a mere ten feet away. At any point they could call out and bring the whole room down on you, but nope they are too polite to do that. XD

GodzillaGuy92:
A one-sentence argument with simple but sound reasoning behind it being met with ad hominem wrapped in a twofold blanket of strawman and unironic comparison to religious fundamentalism. The internet is an amazing place.

You flatter yourself with how much credit your "argument" deserves, as the desirable characteristics I spoke of were clearly in the context of enjoying multiplayer gaming. As in, one might enjoy gardening for the reasons listed, but you won't find many gardeners claiming their particular choice of vegetables as the one true path to enlightenment.

When you have something more than the stock line of multiplayer xenophobes who defend themselves with tired XBL stereotypes and who feel the need to denigrate those who sink serious time into PvP, come find me.

Bob_McMillan:
Wait, he didn't rip it a new butthole and fill it with sour cream? Haven't watched it yet since I'm using my phone, but considering that most of the Battlefield community hate this one van more than BF4, I was expecting him to hate the shit out of this game.

If someone who's been hating something for a long time suddenly turns his opinion around about a new iteration you should probably be cautious of that if you're someone who's previously enjoyed that something. It usually means a pretty major part of it has changed hence why people who previously liked it might now be turned off.

I'm pretty sure Yahtzee himself has made that exact point in the past.

gamegod25:
What I found amusing is not just that heavily armed guards would surrender rather than simply opening fire but that they would kindly not yell out for help to their pals a mere ten feet away. At any point they could call out and bring the whole room down on you, but nope they are too polite to do that. XD

That got on my nerves so much. The armed, hardened killers respond to being arrested better than over half of the people real cops hand out speeding tickets to. They have their guns out, often times much larger and more effective guns than the protagonist, but they still drop them even after they're aiming right at you like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. And if it's not already stupid enough that they're complying politely to arrest despite being hired, heavily armed mercs, they're not even being arrested by an actual cop! You can arrest these guys after you've been discharged! What is that?! As long as you've got a badge you can force people into submission? Maybe I can get a badge, go down to my local bank, begin to rob it, and as soon as the cops show up I just hold it up and shout "Freeze!" and then arrest them. All of them. At once.

Also, in the game, their legs aren't bound at all. Coupled with the aforementioned possibility of just screaming for help, they could also slip away when you turn your back and show up a few minutes later with their friends after they got one of their blokes to cut the cuffs off. Not that the protagonist doesn't have an infinite supply of handcuffs to arrest them all with. And arresting an armed guard would probably be way more hard than pulling a basic maneuver used on drunks. It would probably be a life-and-death struggle when the guard pulls out their knife or something and starts wrestling with you, probably while calling for help.

The arrest mechanic is as stupid as it could be. Realistically, at best, you'd incapacitate a single guy while getting yourself discovered by his buddies and later having to deal with that same guy when he runs away and gets free, and at worst, you'd be killed by that single guy who pulled out a pistol on you while you were trying to arrest him or get killed by his entire gang shortly after they're alerted. Either way, you're actually making your situation WORSE by trying to arrest someone.

GodzillaGuy92:

StreamerDarkly:
If you want organization, strategy and a greater sense of purpose, and maybe even fun, sink more time into multiplayer instead of making the same old gripe every time.

...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

There are actually ways of using strategy and organization in multiplayer games. It's just a matter of finding a good group and someone at the helm who knows what they're doing. A cohesive team with good direction will win 9 times out of 10.

Mortis Nuncius:
There are actually ways of using strategy and organization in multiplayer games. It's just a matter of finding a good group and someone at the helm who knows what they're doing. A cohesive team with good direction will win 9 times out of 10.

Oh, for sure. I was just saying that going through that process in a multiplayer game in order to achieve said strategy and organization is often more trouble than just just booting up a strategic singleplayer game.

StreamerDarkly:
Snip.

And now we can add xenophobia and some bizarre fusion of religion (again) and gardening to the list of comically overblown comparisons? You know what, keep going. I'm curious to see how far this rabbit hole goes.

plutoburns:
Yahtzee, you were surprisingly not too down on this one. Thats rare.

...Or it's his most elaborate Aprilfools gag ever

Yahtzee... playing... and ENJOYING multiplayer. Oh well look at that date.

This was Yahtzee at his best - metaphors so colourful they make rainbows look bland.

theuprising:
Yahtzee... playing... and ENJOYING multiplayer. Oh well look at that date.

I find it difficult to believe that will some day be me!!!! Seriously, I have had some multiplayer experiences that are OK and play for ones and fives of hours of them. But when I want the full immersive experience, I'm doing it solo.

I'm thinking Yahtzee is in the same boat: he had fun on multiplay for, I dunno... 3.2 hours?

Oh, this HAS to be a prank! Yahtzee, being nice to a Battlefield game? What the deuce? I haven't been perplexed by this approach to Spunkgargleweewee since his review of CoD:BlOps 2!

Wait wait wait wait wait ... don't you mean "Skirmishhouse *hnng* Easyline"?

Get gud and review Monster Hunter.

Mortis Nuncius:

GodzillaGuy92:

StreamerDarkly:
If you want organization, strategy and a greater sense of purpose, and maybe even fun, sink more time into multiplayer instead of making the same old gripe every time.

...Or just play a good singleplayer campaign, and get all that stuff up front instead of having to offer up unspecified hours of your life to the Multiplayer Sacrificial Altar.

There are actually ways of using strategy and organization in multiplayer games. It's just a matter of finding a good group and someone at the helm who knows what they're doing. A cohesive team with good direction will win 9 times out of 10.

Not when everyone is a xXxLone_WolfxXx

TL; DR version: Get Payday 2.

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