The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) - As Horrible as You'd Expect

The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) - As Horrible as You'd Expect

The final - one can only hope - Human Centipede movie is as horrible as anyone could imagine, with an extra dose of self-congratulations thrown on top.

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I have to ask-- what is the difference between a human centipede and a human caterpillar? Does the latter consist of creating a centipede and then cutting it's limbs off? If so, and also if not, why are these people so gross?

TheVampwizimp:
I have to ask-- what is the difference between a human centipede and a human caterpillar? Does the latter consist of creating a centipede and then cutting it's limbs off?

You nailed it.

If so, and also if not, why are these people so gross?

Because sex shock horror sells?

The link to Bree Olson leads to a page with nothing on it. Might wanna look into that.

Other than that, good review. I've heard much the same from every other critic who's seen it, but I think you're the first to compare it (favourably!) to Paul Blart, which really does raise the question of which film is supposed to be the horror flick.

"Still funnier than Paul Blart: Mall cop 2." Coined on 24th May 2015 by Marter.
Brilliant term! I predict it's overwhelming use on social media through this year. Use it now whilst it's still hot!

OT: Wow, the poor horse on this one needs to be left alone. Do the creators not understand that shock value was all the first film had? If so, they must not understand how they work. Why are the words "cynical cash grab" floating in my head? Go home, cynicism! Just because you're the only logical answer to the mystery of this farce.

Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future... Hopefully, whoever's doing them has more love in crafting something worth watching outside of shock value and meta references... right? Right? ...RIGHT???

Other than that, I actually forgot that the second one was in black and white... and meta-references the first movie...

Xsjadoblayde:
"Still funnier than Paul Blart: Mall cop 2." Coined on 24th May 2015 by Marter.
Brilliant term! I predict it's overwhelming use on social media through this year. Use it now whilst it's still hot!

I give them my express written consent to use that on the film's DVD cover.

FPLOON:
Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future.

Don't give people ideas!

Wait, they actually made a third film out of it???

I guess it will be the most gross triliogy film ever!

I can imagine that David Cronenberg is really wishing he could put the body horror genie back in the bottle...

I was put off watching the second one because of that meta angle, and I can't imagine how awful this film is. A pity: I liked the first film, largely because of how damn sombre those last ten or so minutes are.

If they dare make a fourth one, they should just go full comedy, remove the horror aspect and be all goofy with the centipedes/caterpillars like putting shit on a stick.

I saw the trailer on Hulu about a week ago. The fact that "100% Politically Incorrect" was larger than the title told me everything I needed to know about how meta this film was going to be. Glad to hear it is as shitty as the trailer was.

I remember hearing about the original movie, and seeing the famous poster, you know the one, with the titular creature trapped inside what appeared to be a steamy shower with its hands pressed against the glass... and I thought it was going to be some sort of legitimate mad-science creation, you know, like he cut the heads off the back two and actually Frankenstein'd them into a single sentient creature. Kind of gratuitously bizarre, but intriguing in a horrific sort of way. Then I found out what it really was and I was like... that's not mad science; that's a damn South Park episode! (And then South Park would go on to parody it, which was probably inevitable. For my money, Noah Antweiler parodying it by having his character Dr. Insano create a "Human Spider" was funnier just on the concept alone.)

And then the sequel came along and it was literally marketing itself as the same thing but with more people in it, which again felt like something you'd do as a parody. At this point I don't even know what to say. Though I did look up the first film on Wikipedia just now to make sure I was remembering the poster correctly, and learned that it was literally made as a joke. It makes so much more sense now...

Elfgore:
I saw the trailer on Hulu about a week ago. The fact that "100% Politically Incorrect" was larger than the title told me everything I needed to know about how meta this film was going to be. Glad to hear it is as shitty as the trailer was.

Ugh. So it's actually marketing itself to people who would cheer the villain of the movie on for "saying what other people are afraid to"?

...Well I guess their money's as good as anyone's. And frankly I'd rather siphon as much of it out of their pockets as possible lest they use it for ill purposes. Like making a human centipede and completing the "sequence" of meta. You know, for the lulz.

Marter:

FPLOON:
Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future.

Don't give people ideas!

But, they probably already have the script all planned out and are just waiting for the right time to spring it out to the general [future] public! It would probably be called The Human Centipede because they don't want the movie to associate with being a sequel to the original Human Centipede if they add anything else to the title...

Yeah
It really sucks
Like....nobody has any expectations yet mister Tom Six is......such a pathetically amateur film maker. Just make something good or quit movies. Please. Fuck.

TristanBelmont:
Yeah
It really sucks
Like....nobody has any expectations yet mister Tom Six is......such a pathetically amateur film maker. Just make something good or quit movies. Please. Fuck.

3 strikes and he's out. Nothing he ever does in the future will be taken seriously, even if it wins all the awards, he will forever be known as "The guy with a shit eating fetish".

This sounds like it could be Superjail the movie, but the show did way grosser stuff.

The cherry on top of the sundae has got to be that they showed a shot of the centipede in the trailer.

I've not watched the first two (despite quite liking Dieter laser) nor will i watch this either...

Two things i take away from this review (not counting the strengthening of my desire never to see any of these films): The 'still funnier than Paul Blart 2' needs to become a meme and the interesting note that the best performance of the film is turned in by an adult actress (though admittedly a talented one).

09philj:
I can imagine that David Cronenberg is really wishing he could put the body horror genie back in the bottle...

That's just it... it's not even body horror at this point it's just boring. Been there done that. You see part of what makes horror horror is that the victims have to be identifiable as in you have to have some feelings for them . In the first film there were 3 victims so we can kinda get to know them...in 2 the vitims are basically faceless mooks and in this one well, just 500 faceless mooks ,, no stories, no personalities to them, just flesh bags.

Thusly the fim is .. boring...and the quirk about gross out... you can only gross someone out once, heck I'm quite sure there's at least 3 sexual fetish sites about this sort of thing. I haven't bothered to check this because that would basically dissolve the last thread of lingering faith in humanity at which point I'd basically release a zombie plague and initiate the skynet uprising just to end it all.

FPLOON:
Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future... Hopefully, whoever's doing them has more love in crafting something worth watching outside of shock value and meta references... right? Right? ...RIGHT???

It can't get a remake yet until it gets a sequel IN SPACE!!!.

Honestly, the first one was made not by the villain being creepy (He wasn't in the least), but the fact that he was practically Skeletor in a shock horror movie. He made the first one completely hilarious with just the ridiculous amount of passion he put into the character. Really, the only reason to watch the first movie is him. It's just a grossout film series. The second one had a creepy villain, but in all honesty, it at that point became more of a cartoon. This one, probably one even see since the second one was pretty much more of an eh thing.

The first I recommended to people for two reasons, just to say they saw it, and the villain is Saturday morning villain awesome. The rest, not really even worth it unless you are maybe drunk and have absolutely nothing else worth watching.

SupahGamuh:

FPLOON:
Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future... Hopefully, whoever's doing them has more love in crafting something worth watching outside of shock value and meta references... right? Right? ...RIGHT???

It can't get a remake yet until it gets a sequel IN SPACE!!!.

If that's the case, then The Human Centipede in Space would be the tenth movie in the [original] series! At that point, it would only take 8 years before the [pending] remake happens! INGENIOUS!!

FPLOON:
Aw shit... I can't wait until this movie "series" get a reboot/remake in the future... Hopefully, whoever's doing them has more love in crafting something worth watching outside of shock value and meta references... right? Right? ...RIGHT???

Other than that, I actually forgot that the second one was in black and white... and meta-references the first movie...

Neil Gaiman should craft a story about a human centipede. That or we get zombie Stanley Kubrick to have a go with it.

They made sequels to this shit? The people who paid real money to see the first two have no one to blame for this abomination but themselves.

Is it just me or does the the short fat guy in the trailer remind anyone else of Oliver Hardy from Laurel and Hardy?

Well one good thing about this movie is that you can watch Phelous suffer though a review of it in the near future :).

Bat Vader:
Neil Gaiman should craft a story about a human centipede.

Only if he makes a cameo in the next film. As Dream. Is it just me, or is Dream blatantly modeled after Neil Gaiman?

That would be the best set up ever. You go in expecting The Human Centipede 4, but nope. It's The Sandman movie!

Captcha: cloud nine

Not really, captcha. Gross.

Quellist:
I've not watched the first two (despite quite liking Dieter laser) nor will i watch this either...

Two things i take away from this review (not counting the strengthening of my desire never to see any of these films): The 'still funnier than Paul Blart 2' needs to become a meme and the interesting note that the best performance of the film is turned in by an adult actress (though admittedly a talented one).

Oh, that's who she is. I recognised the name but wasn't sure where from.

I've seen the first. It was awful. Won't be watching the other 2.

razer17:

Quellist:
I've not watched the first two (despite quite liking Dieter laser) nor will i watch this either...

Two things i take away from this review (not counting the strengthening of my desire never to see any of these films): The 'still funnier than Paul Blart 2' needs to become a meme and the interesting note that the best performance of the film is turned in by an adult actress (though admittedly a talented one).

Oh, that's who she is. I recognised the name but wasn't sure where from.

I've seen the first. It was awful. Won't be watching the other 2.

There's actually a porn parody of the first called 'The Human Sexipede'. Apparently its actually well written and funny! Likely a lot more palatable than the movie it was based on too...

bdeamon:
This sounds like it could be Superjail the movie, but the show did way grosser stuff.

And was actually mildly entertaining for some episodes. :P

OT: To be quite honest: I didn't even know - or care - that they made a Human Centipede 2.

 

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