8 Ridiculous Rules From the New Warhammer Age of Sigmar

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according to 1D4chan (so taken with as much salt as you feel that deserves) an interview with the designers implies these rules are intentionaly applied to old units to make them "embarrassing" to play optimally

Suggestions for additional rules:

-When firing cannons, rather then guessing ranges, you now take a peashooter and simulate the cannonball firing yourself.
You do +d3 wounds if you make explosion sounds with your mouth when the cannonball lands.

-When casting spells, players have the option to shout out spells in a booming voice and act like they are actually performing the incantation (staff is optional) for +1 to wings of magic rolls.

-When charging a cavalry unit, the charging player must sound the cavalry trumpet which has been helpfully provided in the starter box set, or can be purchased separately.

-If a dark elf player, the player can lift their shirt and flash his/her breasts for +2 bonus attacks to all witch elf units. There is a similar rule for Slaneeshi players, except they have to flash their genitalia.

Peh if I wasn't lazy, I'd make a thread topic outta this.

Anyways haven't touched tabletop in ages but I can't help but wonder WTF has happened to warhammer fantasy.

Lots of gaming clubs have their own similar rules or non-sensical additions to lighten up things, like "if you can balance this chair on your forehead, I'll give you a reroll".

Actually forcing it through official rules though, is some of the stupidest shit I've ever heard. Thankfully, I don't play fantasy.

Thunderous Cacophony:

Muspelheim:
quote

Those are great. Here's another:
Fey Step (Wood Elves)
During the movement phase, a Wood Elf player may throw one (and only one) handful of leaves over the board to blind their opponent. While the opponent is blinded, they may move every model they can grab up to 6 inches in a random direction until the opposing general calls "no takebacks".

Pain for Pleasure (Units with the mark of Slaanesh):
Whenever a unit/model with the mark of Slaanesh takes damage, the controlling player may prick themselves with a sharp object, drawing blood whilst whispering "I've been... *deep breathing* naughty", if so, ignore the damage.

OT: Super cereal though, this is hilarious, can't wait to see the jimmies this rustles. Soooooo many bitter Longbeards.

I expect to see this tag used more often now, Escapist.

Thunderous Cacophony:

I'm sorry, it's too late; rain of meteors destroyed Lustria, most of the Lizardmen died (including most of the Slaan) and the rest pulled an Ancient Aliens and flew away in their ziggurats. The End Times did a lot of stupid things, but that was probably the worst (even beating Settra getting smashed in Inter-Skellington Combat).

Aww, piss... Although I suppose they've earned their holiday by now. As well as the poor old skellybums.

I bet they took my murdergoats, too...

Megalodon:

No, they're piss take rules Muspelheim made up. These aren't actual AoS rules.

What Mega said, I made those up. Although I kind of wish those were proper rules. It'd be great fun, and it'd get me back into Warhammer in a heartbeat. Costumes, booze and fighting. The models would appreciate the players doing the fighting once in a while, I imagine.

Kahani:

No, not really. 40K is the one that's all grimdark all the time (with some exceptions for Orks), Fantasy has always had plenty of colour and humour mixed in. In any case, the way to lighten things up would be to do so in the actual game. In fact they've made the world significantly more grimdark, and making players prance around like idiots just so that their armies can actually work isn't going to help with that.

Warhammer Fantasy were a bit more colourful, true, but I felt it had a bit of the same problem as 40K sometimes. It just got too dark and dreary sometimes. And these new loreturns certainly don't help.

But I was mainly having a stab at playing the game, or some of the people you end up playing with. It can be a dreadfully boring affair when people take it very serious indeed and won't tolerate any whimsy while they WIN. That's part of why I eventually got tired of it and stopped playing, that stifling atmosphere of srs bsnss. The new rules don't help, but I rather like the idea of such a serious pro-player hopping about to get the bonus with a look on his face that says he's hating every second of it.

Muspelheim:

Thunderous Cacophony:

I'm sorry, it's too late; rain of meteors destroyed Lustria, most of the Lizardmen died (including most of the Slaan) and the rest pulled an Ancient Aliens and flew away in their ziggurats. The End Times did a lot of stupid things, but that was probably the worst (even beating Settra getting smashed in Inter-Skellington Combat).

Aww, piss... Although I suppose they've earned their holiday by now. As well as the poor old skellybums.

I bet they took my murdergoats, too...

No, they were present in the End Times, and just as ineffectual and criminally underused as usual. Their big moments were trying (and failing) to stop Nagash turning into a god, destroying most of Athel Loren (before the herds there were destroyed by the Elves, and the forest put back pretty much as it was), and joining in the big battle around Altdorf (to be slaughtered as mooks). So pretty much par for the course for an army that's actively hated by GW.

Honestly, I can't imagine the creative mind of someone who takes the idea of an endless swarm of monstrous beast-men living in the thick forests that make up about 80% of the Empire, taking offerings of babies from superstition peasants and plotting the gory murder of every other race in the world to honour their insane gods, and does nothing with it, up to and including during the apocalypse the Beastmen have built their entire culture around.

Well I I hope kings of war is good, the second edition is coming out and I they let me use gw models.
I am not plaything this shit.
I might buy some of the sigmarines, I think I could kit bash them, makes some 30k firedrakes or blood angels.
Some people have the where withal to make them into custodies, I think I could make them into thunderwarriors as well if I could get some chaos marauder heads and scratch build the helmets
Or I could get them some swords and chaos helmets and make some of Lord gwen's silver knights
and if I could get this guy here
image
greenstuff an old, fat nurgle lord....
In truth I will just likely use them as legion breacher squads.
If the end up being cheaper

The Material Sheep:

I know... Matt Ward isn't around to blame for the absolute retardation that is the Age of Sigmar ruleset. The broken special rules, the lack of points costs, and the blandness of the reduced stats. It's just lame and we no longer have the eternal scapegoat Matt Ward to blame. GW are just complete idiots.

that reminds me I need to curse Gav thorpe for related reason.

Thunderous Cacophony:

Muspelheim:

Thunderous Cacophony:

I'm sorry, it's too late; rain of meteors destroyed Lustria, most of the Lizardmen died (including most of the Slaan) and the rest pulled an Ancient Aliens and flew away in their ziggurats. The End Times did a lot of stupid things, but that was probably the worst (even beating Settra getting smashed in Inter-Skellington Combat).

Aww, piss... Although I suppose they've earned their holiday by now. As well as the poor old skellybums.

I bet they took my murdergoats, too...

No, they were present in the End Times, and just as ineffectual and criminally underused as usual. Their big moments were trying (and failing) to stop Nagash turning into a god, destroying most of Athel Loren (before the herds there were destroyed by the Elves, and the forest put back pretty much as it was), and joining in the big battle around Altdorf (to be slaughtered as mooks). So pretty much par for the course for an army that's actively hated by GW.

Honestly, I can't imagine the creative mind of someone who takes the idea of an endless swarm of monstrous beast-men living in the thick forests that make up about 80% of the Empire, taking offerings of babies from superstition peasants and plotting the gory murder of every other race in the world to honour their insane gods, and does nothing with it, up to and including during the apocalypse the Beastmen have built their entire culture around.

I think you've confused Lizardmen with Beastmen, though Beastmen were actually pretty effective in the Glottkin book.

Warachia:

Thunderous Cacophony:

Muspelheim:

Aww, piss... Although I suppose they've earned their holiday by now. As well as the poor old skellybums.

I bet they took my murdergoats, too...

No, they were present in the End Times, and just as ineffectual and criminally underused as usual. Their big moments were trying (and failing) to stop Nagash turning into a god, destroying most of Athel Loren (before the herds there were destroyed by the Elves, and the forest put back pretty much as it was), and joining in the big battle around Altdorf (to be slaughtered as mooks). So pretty much par for the course for an army that's actively hated by GW.

Honestly, I can't imagine the creative mind of someone who takes the idea of an endless swarm of monstrous beast-men living in the thick forests that make up about 80% of the Empire, taking offerings of babies from superstition peasants and plotting the gory murder of every other race in the world to honour their insane gods, and does nothing with it, up to and including during the apocalypse the Beastmen have built their entire culture around.

I think you've confused Lizardmen with Beastmen, though Beastmen were actually pretty effective in the Glottkin book.

I wasn't confused, I was addressing the "murdergoat" comment specifically. We've already talked about the travesty of the Lizardmen upthread.

And I don't recall the Beastmen doing much in Glottkin other than filling the ranks of the Chaos army as redshirts (and killing Todbringer if that happened in that book).

So I got to actually read the rules...

I played Druchii... For the love of god I hate these rules, Getting Malkieth as the phoenix king he should always have been during The End Times was awesome but... Good god right now I'm so very angry.

Also Sigmarines. FUCK. YOU. GAMES. WORKSHOP... Though I guess now I have more models to work with when making my 30k Thousand Sons.

Meh. Disregard the rules, since for me the updates for FB and 40k became just packs of some new stuff to look upon quite some time ago.

Remember, kids.
1. Gather your friends on a flat.
2. Play with them however you guys like.
- this is Warhammer done right. You can make it into anything and it is all awesome.

1. Go to a club.
2. Play with faggots under a sellsfaggot's supervision all by the book.
- this is Warhammer done wrong. It sucks, it always sucked, and will only lead to tears and suffering.

I didn't think it was actually possible for Warhammer to get any worse. It's like they've been watching the development of motion controls in video games and decided that this will be their equivalent.

The GW slide into irrelevancy continues unabated.

I approve of this, I relish delicious grognard tears.

On a serious point the lulzy rules are placeholders, I'm planning not to write this game off for 12 months and give it a fair shake.

I still can't get my head around the fact that "Age of Sigmar" doesn't even have Big S in. I mean, that's like having a WW2 game and not putting the Wehrmacht in. I'm going to ignore the comedy rules, because they lack enough substance to even comment on, but it's such a stupid name for the game, calling it Age of Valten would have been more accurate. Warhammer: Realms of Chaos, much better name.

As a side note, I've never found writing a comment without swearing so difficult; AoS has really ticked me off.

I don't know if this game will be for me; the regimented movements and tactics was what made Warhammer Fantasy enjoyable and in my eyes superior to 40k. My group of players never moved past the 6th edition of the rule set though, so I don't actually know how things looked these days. We just got so damn comfortable playing with that ruleset, and 7 didn't look like it'd be for us.

These silly special rules look pretty cool to me though! I like the cheesy sillyness of them all, and it perfectly suits the jokey and fun environment in which the game is played, in my experience anyway. But where's the rule that gives some female hero special abilities when i losen up my brastrap or some gender-specific thing? Yea I'm not gona whine much about it, but I can't really grow a beard or a mustache so it would be cool to have something reserved for the female players too!

Stuck-up, pseudo-dignified and holier-than-thou I can handle =3.

boy i heard the stories, but it seems its true, they really ruined warhammer fantasy

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