189: ¡VIVA LA R3V0LUC10N!

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Martin Luther had his 95 Theses. Thomas Paine had Common Sense. But CheCalavera has something more ambitious in mind: the internet's definitive manifesto against draconian DRM.

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I buy games, and I only go to pirates to remove the DRMs that are constantly clogging up my system. I research before I buy a game, and if the DRM can't be removed I don't buy the game. I have never played a pirated game in my life, so I don't see why I should pay to have some company crack my computer and install spyware on it.

There are plenty of other good games out there. Heck, there are even good games by people like the folks at Stardock who don't believe in DRM. It's not like we HAVE to buy Spore or Bioshock or any of the other DRM-packed games.

See, I don't mind DRM on my consoles as long as the game is functioning.

But on a PC, people send personal emails, they check their bank accounts and pay bills, they have photos and private documents like CVs.

Who wants an unknown programme that could be hacked to steal that data. Or even if an unscrupulous company on employee steals that data. What if the decide they want to watch what I'm doing, measuring my usage? To me that's just too much of a risk so I WONT buy that game, I will vote with my feet.

Personally I'm that that bothered, I have an awesome firewall that controls all network connections, no application can connect to the internet without my say so. Even piggybacking other programmes can be seen.

If a game requires a constant internet connection to be played then that is ridiculous. Moreover, good luck taking it to court. It will be difficult to submit the evidence to a court, in the UK at least. It's not as simple as waiving your right to privacy by default when you play, that would be an easy point to defeat.

Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

Viva Pinata!

while i understand most of what you're saying and agree with it, i have to ask. What then, gives you the right to pirate these things? No one has asked you to play the game, if it looks like an interesting game but there's drm on it, while then you have to deal with it. No matter how much it sucks, those developers spent months if not years of work on their game. What gives you the right to simply say " Well fuck your rules, i'm just going to pirate your game!" ? No matter how you justify your actions, it still boils down to this. You want the game, you dont want the DRM ( nobody wants drm ). You cant get the game without the drm unless you pirate it and basically give a finger to the devs who deserve the money. What do you do here?

What gives you the right to take away the other person ( the devs ) right to release the game however he wants? Apple sells their products at 80+% profits, what are you going to break into an apple store now and scream " I DONT WANNA PAY 3000 BUCKS FOR A SHITTY COMPUTER! " and proceed to steal the ipods and imacs there?

I wonder if he set himself on fire.

At any rate, the whole point of this can be simply said by bill hicks although I'm getting his line completely out of context. "You pay, you get screwed over, get it for free and you're rewarded". Or something on the lines.

wApple sells their products at 80+% profits, what are you going to break into an apple store now and scream " I DONT WANNA PAY 3000 BUCKS FOR A SHITTY COMPUTER! " and proceed to steal the ipods and imacs there?

He'd probably do it and then set himself on fire.

And damn : "Maybe pirates are more discriminating about what they buy. Did anyone ever consider that maybe the rise in piracy is related to how much today's games suck? It's a well-known fact that no game made after 1998 is any good."

Yeah, I stopped to take that seriously after this.
You are not some kind of freedom fighter giving the finger to a corrupted government that kill innocents, steal from the poor and censor everything. It's companies that, OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY, want to make a profit. Does CheCalavera even works or does he sits on his ass all day long playing pirated games.

Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

I got Crysis: Warhead for Christmas, brand new in box.

And it couldn't connect to the internet to unlock the game.

So I had to crack a game that was legally purchased because the publisher's DRM didn't work.

So I just don't play games with that sort of DRM anymore, because it's not worth it.

Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

Of course it is, though playing video games is not.

You have a human right to entertain yourself so long as it does not hurt anyone. For example, you can play catch, even if it's just in your mind.

If the idea of a separate program phoning home scares you I hope you don't have Punkbuster installed (try reading their EULA...).

As I always say, if you object to a game (whether its DRM or quality) don't buy it but don't pirate it either. People pirating the game instead of buying make the publisher think that by applying stronger DRM he could regain those users because the users have insufficient willpower to actually boycott the product and still need their fix so by removing their option to get their fix for free they'll come crawling back desperate for the next product. It's a shallow protest to say "I don't like what you're doing so instead of buying your product I'll just perform an illegal act with minimal chances of any punishment to get your product without paying you." A boycott is showing to a company that them doing X is worse to you than you not getting their products, a boycott by copyright infringement is pretty much having your cake and eating it too.

Besides, that quality argument is utter garbage, if they really suck so much then why are you downloading them?

And a hunger-strike over DRM? It's a ####ing luxury good and you're acting like you're facing fascism?

What a hilarious piece of satire! Very hilarious.
People can get bent so out of shape over things like DRM, and it's good to see writers taking a humorous approach to the 'Anti-DRM fanatics'.

Made me chuckle.

That article pretty much sums up how i feel. That said, i do like Steam. I don't have a net connection at home, but i still buy off Steam and essentially perform a merge with the downloaded files when i get it home. As long as the game dev is not a complete money grabbing whore, and installed a 3rd party DRM into a game system that uses DRM anyway. Bioshock and Crysis i believe are two good examples of how to completely balls up a Steam release.

It's also fairly possible that Valve would patch the crap out of Steam, and remove the reliance on a central Authorisation server if something did go wrong, but then if they didn't it wouldn't be the end of the world as the World+Dog would be in the game boat with Steam games and everyone would just crack everything and the world would go on, sans Steam. Because lets face it, Joe Average FPS Player would walk on hot coals, when covered in petrol to get their Counter-Strike fix, should that be their weapon of choice.

I find a majority of games not worth their price, but i do have a very large collection of legal games.

I never buy any games with DRM systems in. Which is why i have not played Red Alert 3.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the right answer to DRM is a boycott, not a hunger strike or self-immolation.

You wouldn't download those "FREE WALLPAPERS!" that you know are full of viruses, but that doesn't mean you can't have a picture on your desktop -- just get your wallpapers from someone who respects you. Likewise, if you don't want to install a game that's full of spyware, then just get Nexuiz or Wesnoth instead.

The real stupid thing about DRM, one that isn't mentioned in this article, is that in addition to making it harder for legitimate customers to play the game, it doesn't do shit to stop the pirates.

christ i stopped reading half way through, i have done this magical thing of having 2 computers and a console, one is for work two are for games. the machine that is for work has the net while the computer for games oes not and if i want to play online i boot up the trusty ol' console. There problem solved and no 'revolution' needed just logical thinking.

"Who, then, is the criminal here? The man who commits a crime to feed his family DRM-free gaming, or the man who forces that first man to commit the crime?

The second man, that's who. The crime-forcing man is the true criminal."

Hahahaha... this was mint. I imagined an impoverished looking woman in a gingham dress chowing down copies of Half-life, while kids underfoot only get the scraps (The Sims with audio / textures ripped out to save disk space). Then dad comes home with a huge box full of fresh new Sharpie-d up copies of Fallout 3, and everyone goes to bed happy.

DRM really doesn't help the game companies, it hurts them. I really want to play Spore, but I don't want the DRM on my machine. I don't like dabbling into pirated stuff either, because that can get me a virus. But if I can't run my game while running Process Explorer, then I don't want the game (The Sims 2 refuses to run now if Process Explorer is running, which I find very fishy).

Honestly, I think this guy is right, but I don't know if a revolution should really rise up around this.

You know, I can't help but wonder if people these days would read A Modest Proposal and think that Swift was actually advocating the eating of babies.

I, too, believe that eating babies is the best way to solve the DRM problems.


Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

Of course it is, though playing video games is not.

You have a human right to entertain yourself so long as it does not hurt anyone. For example, you can play catch, even if it's just in your mind.

A- Tempro, high five. I actually did laugh out loud on that one.

B- Define hurting somebody else Beddo. Everything potentially hurts somebody else. I mean when you're playing catch with yourself, you could be hurting some other kid who doesn't have a catch partner because you won't share the fun with them. You're hurting the person who invented catch by removing the socialization and hand eye coordination required to play and there by corrupting the spirit of the game. Finally you're hurting the ball manufacturer by first acknowledging his product and then refusing to use it, prefering to just imagine the ball's existence. To quote Assasin's Creed, "Nothing is true and all things are relative."

C- I seriously couldn't tell if the guy who wrote this article was being serious or not.

I can't help but feel that maybe he's being sarcastic.

Damn the guy is hilarious... He's right about a few things, but he seriously need to chill out. Sure, it's not good that the game companies knows all we do, but no one's going to take him seriously if he's hysterical, which he is.(Unless he's being sarcastic, in which case, he's awesome.)

This was so funny, I'm amazed that many didn't realize it was satire....

This was so funny, I'm amazed that many didn't realize it was satire....

*holds hand up and looks sheepish*
I did get slightly confused by the comment about no game after 1998 being good, but I just took that as a sign to lose all credibility in the author.
Having had it pointed out that it's satire, it makes a lot more sense...

From reading the posts above, I'm not 100% sure whether he's serious or not, so I'm going to act as if he is. Ranting is more fun than making a comment saying nothing more than "Lmao!", anyway.

Actually, I really can't take this seriously whether it was written seriously or not. The sheer hilarity of some guy acting as if he's fighting Nazism while talking on the subject of DRM is briliiant, especially the part where he suggested Valve (and in turn, Steam) would collapse and he would laugh at all the people who relied on it and bought things from it.

Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

My view exactly. And while Free Speech is a human right (and no, not just in America), posting on forums isn't.

Holy god, this article was hilarious.

I agree with this guy wholeheartedly, and that's why I do the same thing as him.

Baby Tea:
What a hilarious piece of satire! Very hilarious.

By far the most funny thing to come out of all of this is the people who aren't quite getting the joke. Only a few obvious ones here and there, but they make my day.

This was so funny, I'm amazed that many didn't realize it was satire....

I agree. But there is a lesson to be learned here. Just read the comments of those who thought that article was dead real. It's kinda funny and sad at the same time.

Piracy wasn't the reason for DRM, it was just the cover story they used to push it. It was used to kill the second hand PC game market.

It won't be long before they try something like that on the consoles.

Viva Pinata!

I see what you did there.

No good games after 1998? I do not believe you on that. Sure a lot of games DO suck, but I like a handful of games.

Nice parody.
Especially naming Stardock with all the other big publishers:

There's millions of gamers like me who refuse to buy games from companies like Activision, EA, Take-Two, Ubisoft, THQ, Microsoft, Valve, Stardock and many others.

Stardock doesn't use any kind of DRM ^^

Fun fact: Gaming is not a human right.

But privacy and free speech are both human rights. DRM is in violation of both.

This is honestly one of the most poweful pieces of writing i have ever read!!! I 110% agree with what your saying!!!!

I've been waging my own personal war on DRM games, as they are a invastion of privacy and a utter anoyance!

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