Review: Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

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looks mindless, and fun, just easy killing, like dynasty warriors :)

yay new avatar, if anyone figures it out email me, id love to meet another fan :P

Just wanted to point out that this is actually the english version of a series that has A LOT of iterations in Japan.

Onyx Oblivion:

Wanderer1911:
Holy crap, they made a game for me. There are few things that I like more in life that zombies and scantily clad women... well... scantily clad women covered in blood... and Silent Hill I guess but that's a different topic. It's too bad that the game seems so simple because it seems like the sort of thing I would enjoy. Well actually every once and a while I still enjoy mindlessly killing zombies for an hour or two so who knows, I might still have to pick this up. I loved BloodRain and this couldn't be much worse... Right?

Try it. It has its pros and cons...I actually played it for 6 hours since yesterday.

RavingPenguin:
I own the 360 version of Onechanbara, and Im stuck at the end of level 7. I mainly play for stress relief, its fun to sit back and play a somewhat mindless game when you need to unwind.

Stuck there, too.

Will do, thanx. I figure if you can play it for 6 out of 24 hours it's got to have some merit.

They have a minigame during loading screen? I thought some backwater company somehow managed to copyright that idea. Maybe the company who made this game is that particular backwater company in question.

As for the game, it doesn't look fun, even if I shut of my brain. I can just play some simple 8-bit or 16-bit game for that.

aww whos a cute little zombie! lol
fantastic, but why make it a supplement a little longer and it would be a full review, also game kinda bring back memories from that old bmx game.

If anyone else does play it...beware the zombies made of clouds of blood. You need to get an epic ass chain of perfectly timed attacks to kill them...I still haven't done it once...

Typical button bashing game tactics to throw in some scantly clad women to compensate for lack of good gameplay...

it's like a hentai fighter with out the promise of actual tits and even wit that given to you you'd still have to deal with embarrassingly long loading screens. it would be a shame if yatzee made a video input about this game 2-marrow.

Note: if I wanna kill time and let off some steam there's still bullet witch.

BIGpanda:
it's like a hentai fighter with out the promise of actual tits and even wit that given to you you'd still have to deal with embarrassingly long loading screens. it would be a shame if yatzee made a video input about this game 2-marrow.

Guys gotta remember Ben Croshaw lives in Austrailia so we don't know WHEN he will see any of these games because of the release dates.

There is nothing better than boobs, zombies, and guns so this has to be the best game ever made.

Onyx Oblivion:
Actually, I'm renting it from Gamefly right now out of curiosity. But we all know what that did to the cat...poor kitty. Porn is free on the internet (well, not all of it), but I tend to enjoy the occasional campy fun game. Sadly, this game is not the next Earth Defense Force 2017...It not terrible, but the difficulty is very inconsistent and I'm stuck on the boss of mission 7. If you want half-naked chicks and a good hack and slash, just buy Dynasty Warriors: Gundam and that resort island DOA game whose name eludes me. Next rental...X-Blades...A hack n' slash with a G-String...*sigh* nothing good to rent that I didn't already buy...

Funny that you mention it, Earth Defense Force and Oneechanbara were the two most popular series out of the Simple 2000 though I think EDF was quite a bit more popular (for obvious reasons like being actually awesome to play). I bought another S2000 game by Tamsoft (that's the dev behind Oneechanbara) out of curiousity once, figured after all these games they'd have a good grasp on how to make a beat 'em up. Turned out they don't.

Speaking of girls slashing up hordes of enemies and EDF, I'm still waiting for more info on Dynamic Slash... If you need a killing-hordes-of-enemies-and-getting-splattered-with-blood fix in the meantime the Wii has Onslaught for that.

Oh and on that topic, EDF2017 had tons of annoying load times but installing to the HDD creatly reduced them, does installing help Oneechanbara in any way?

I'm kinda conflicted here, half of me know's this game is crap but the other half of me wants to play it just for the hell of it.

KDR_11k:

Onyx Oblivion:
Actually, I'm renting it from Gamefly right now out of curiosity. But we all know what that did to the cat...poor kitty. Porn is free on the internet (well, not all of it), but I tend to enjoy the occasional campy fun game. Sadly, this game is not the next Earth Defense Force 2017...It not terrible, but the difficulty is very inconsistent and I'm stuck on the boss of mission 7. If you want half-naked chicks and a good hack and slash, just buy Dynasty Warriors: Gundam and that resort island DOA game whose name eludes me. Next rental...X-Blades...A hack n' slash with a G-String...*sigh* nothing good to rent that I didn't already buy...

Funny that you mention it, Earth Defense Force and Oneechanbara were the two most popular series out of the Simple 2000 though I think EDF was quite a bit more popular (for obvious reasons like being actually awesome to play). I bought another S2000 game by Tamsoft (that's the dev behind Oneechanbara) out of curiousity once, figured after all these games they'd have a good grasp on how to make a beat 'em up. Turned out they don't.

Speaking of girls slashing up hordes of enemies and EDF, I'm still waiting for more info on Dynamic Slash... If you need a killing-hordes-of-enemies-and-getting-splattered-with-blood fix in the meantime the Wii has Onslaught for that.

Oh and on that topic, EDF2017 had tons of annoying load times but installing to the HDD creatly reduced them, does installing help Oneechanbara in any way?

no clue about the load times...i usually kept 7 GB free since that's the average install space needed, but then that fucking TLAD came out...

The load screen mini-game could be Yahtzee's next freeware game. It could star his "The World Has Yet To Realize My Genius" avatar fighting off the little demons and Quick Time Events...

You know, I'd have to point out something someone said earlier about this being an "honest" game. If you think about it, all video games are pretty consistent in the demographcis they are selling to. It's pretty hard to go wrong when looking at the art/gameplay/etc. of a game and make assumptions of where the developers were going with it these days.

I think this game is about as honest with its audience and clearly aimed at certain tastes just as much as Space Marine War Shooter #351 and J-RPG #495,339,056. Rare is the game that comes along that looks like, say, a quaint kiddie roleplaying game that soon one realizes is an esoteric mind trip with a tongue planted firmly in cheek sense of humor about itself (case in this point being Earthbound, of course).

the title of this game makes me want to rip my own eyeballs out. The game may well be fun but its gonna have to go a LONG way to make up for that.

boobs was enough to make me buy...

I can't wait for this game to hit the bargin bin because I'm soooo getting it.

Hey guys... uhh... I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously.

"It's your standard B-movie drivel..."

"Earlier in the review, I compared Onechanbara to a B-movie, and that's pretty much an apt comparison. No one can honestly say that Bikini Samurai Squad is a good game."

Someone seems to be missing the point of b-movies and, by extension, this game.

Well, I now know who's not interested in joining my Macho Women With Guns campaign.

nice change to a game that's actually fun lol cute little zombies...

I think this game is about as honest with its audience and clearly aimed at certain tastes just as much as Space Marine War Shooter #351 and J-RPG #495,339,056.

The difference, I think, is that the people who make space marine shooters and jrpgs actually think they're contributing to their respective genre.

Seriously, swords, guns, blood, bikinis, babes-all thats missing is a beer chug off and a trip to the strip club and this game would have it all.........and yet you wonder why this game has shitty gameplay? They're not going for that...they found the niche they want and are filling it perfectly

whyarecarrots:
Hands up who wants to see Yahtzee's take on this? :p

HELL YES!!!!!!

Nikajo:
the title of this game makes me want to rip my own eyeballs out. The game may well be fun but its gonna have to go a LONG way to make up for that.

The subtitle was added for the west because I don't think many people would get the pun that is Oneechanbara (Oneechan = big sister/hot woman, chambara = samurai movies, one version of the game was called Oneechan Blue, a play on Samurai Champloo).

Ooh! A game combining my two favorite things!

SirSchmoopy:
I can't wait for this game to hit the bargin bin because I'm soooo getting it.

Second.

This could just be a fun conversation piece, because it's practically overflowing with camp value.

I'm rather proud of my video game collection, so it would be interesting to watch a friend pull this out while browsing it:

"Persona, Xenogears, Ikaruga, Bikini samur... what?"

I swear to gods, games are becoming more and more retarded. I feel sorry for Susan having to play that thing...

Trivun:
Just one question. WHY? WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY??? (sorry for the caps, simply for ranting purposes only). What is the point of this game? I enjoy slash-em-ups just as much as the next guy/girl, but why do something like this? You never see Jill Valentine or Agent G in bikinis (although in G's case, that would be slightly disturbing...).

You don't know much about Japan do you?

http://otakuinternational.com/2008/09/top-ten-japanese-vending-machines/

Ronwue:
I swear to gods, games are becoming more and more retarded. I feel sorry for Susan having to play that thing...

Well, I didn't, Funk did. I just narrated the video. But I've played plenty of god-awful games in my time. :)

Susan Arendt:

Ronwue:
I swear to gods, games are becoming more and more retarded. I feel sorry for Susan having to play that thing...

Well, I didn't, Funk did. I just narrated the video. But I've played plenty of god-awful games in my time. :)

I suppose bad games make us appreciate the good ones... or make the slightly good ones look like godsend :))

I'm a fan of zombie games, and this just seems like another fan service game *cough, cough, dead or alive, cough* but if it at least has a story to it then I'll give it a try.

Try Little Red Riding Hood: Zombie BBQ for the DS.

Theirs another zombie game.

Susan Arendt:

Ronwue:
I swear to gods, games are becoming more and more retarded. I feel sorry for Susan having to play that thing...

Well, I didn't, Funk did. I just narrated the video. But I've played plenty of god-awful games in my time. :)

Did you ever have to Narrate one?

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