Norm of the North - Cinematic Excrement

Norm of the North - Cinematic Excrement

Norm of the North is the worst theatrically released animated movie of all time.

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I had just assumed that this was some sort of attempt to cash in on the Penguins / Ice Age movie aesthetics (the polar bear looks a bit like the one from the Penguins movie, perhaps in the same way that all polar bears would look alike in that style admittedly, and that villain looks a bit like Dave in his Dr.Octavius disguise), with some names behind the voice acting... but really poorly executed.

Got it, show the kids Two Girls, One Cup instead.

Though I am tempted to get a digital copy of it just to get a gif of a twerking polar bear.

That trailer left me in physical pain.
I need a lawyer.

I dunno, I think those movies JonTron went though are still worse...

It can't be worse than Food Fight, can it?

Johnny Novgorod:
It can't be worse than Food Fight, can it?

No, but that's not a theatrically released (at least here) film.

This reminds me of MovieBob's Pixels review, which I enjoy watching every now and again because of how funny I find his anger to be.

So...it's not funnier than Paul Blart 2?

Johnny Novgorod:
It can't be worse than Food Fight, can it?

At least Food Fight had the balls to be batshit insane. It's not just a car crash you can't look away from, it's an exploding space shuttle.

Compared to that, Norm Of The North is just a bike whose tires pop.

That Rob Schneider still has a career in showbusiness is one more sin that can be lain at the feet of Adam Sandler.

I feel a little bad for Ken Jeong, though. One almost gets the impression that he's so astonished and thrilled to find himself working in movies that it hasn't occurred to him yet that he could say "no" to an offered project.

Holy crap, there really is like minimal lip-syncing in the trailer.

And those jokes.

This just... I... fuck...

I remember seeing the trailer before a movie I was actually excited to see and the entire time I was like "wtf even is... what is it? Why is the lip syncing bad? Why is it not funny? WHO'S RELEASING THIS IN THEATRES??"

So sorry you watched it. I can't imagine losing brain cells like that when the trailer already left me for dead.

I remember seeing the trailer for this when it was first announced and thinking "this movie looks like shit." Glad to see I wasn't wrong.

Xsjadoblayde:
So...it's not funnier than Paul Blart 2?

Not everything can be as culturally significant as Paul Blart 2.

OT - Is it just me or do talking animal cartoons have an abnormally scattered range of quality?

Marter:
Norm of the North is the worst theatrically released animated movie of all time

Oh come now, surely it can't be that ba---

Norm of the North is about a polar bear (Rob Schneider)

Ohhhhhhhhh......

OT: Serious question though to put your "worst animated movie ever" theory to the test. Now, I don't doubt that this movie is a crime against both man and god (it stars Rob Schneider, after all)...but is it truly worse than Food Fight?

Edit: Ah, nevermind. Seems you've already addressed that one. :P

Actual quote from IMDB's FAQ page to this movie:

Norm of the North gave my sister and me cancer. Can I contact Lionsgate about any concerns?

Yes. In fact, you can sue them for up to $150 million.

Worse than Sandler's last 3 films combined? How does a film manage to be...oh Rob Schneider is in it. Ah.

Still an achievement, but I can believe it.

Worst animated movie ever... Rob Schneider...

OK, it makes sense.

OK, now I'm really curious what made Hoodwinked Too, Alpha and Omega, and The Nut Job less awful than this movie.

The one good thing is that this movie came out first before stuff like Kung Fu Panda 3 and Zootopia. Now that it sucked so badly it took the brunt of all the negativity that could have been aimed at them and now they will go easier on them because Norm was so unbelievably bad even the most negative reviewers will say 'Well it is definitely a million times better than Norm of the North' and give them a break. Thanks for sucking so much NOTN. You will make everything else look so much better by showing how they could have been a lot worse.

Steve the Pocket:
OK, now I'm really curious what made Hoodwinked Too, Alpha and Omega, and The Nut Job less awful than this movie.

I have seen Alpha and Omega only once and I remember approximately 1% of it so I really have no idea what made it so bad.

tiamat5:
The one good thing is that this movie came out first before stuff like Kung Fu Panda 3 and Zootopia. Now that it sucked so badly it took the brunt of all the negativity that could have been aimed at them and now they will go easier on them because Norm was so unbelievably bad even the most negative reviewers will say 'Well it is definitely a million times better than Norm of the North' and give them a break. Thanks for sucking so much NOTN. You will make everything else look so much better by showing how they could have been a lot worse.

I really am hoping KFP3 is good, because I loved the first two. The second one is one of my favorite animated films ever. And Zootopia will likely be good as well.

Anyway, regarding this..."film", I just gotta sum it up with a joke from South Park:

ROB SCHNEIDER IS...A POLAR BEAR! RATED PG-13!

It's got this much going for it, though: it's primary running gag isn't a donkey with projectile diarrhea.

Honestly, I don't remember movies ever being this bad in my life.

... the characters are rendered with poorly textured PS2-quality CGI...

HEY!, you shut your whore mouth!, the PS2 looked much better than this piece of shit!*

Other than that... I can't wait for JonTron or Nostalgia Critic to tear up this big pile of shit.

*Not serious. Or am I?

This looks like one of those mock trailers on South Park.

"Rob Schneider is... A POLAR BEAR?! Derpty derpty derpty doo!"

To think January 2016 was considerably less bad than the average January.

Steve the Pocket:
OK, now I'm really curious what made Hoodwinked Too, Alpha and Omega, and The Nut Job less awful than this movie.

They made a sequel to Hoodwinked?! What, I, I don't get this.

I know this is superficial as fuck all things considered but I KNEW this wasn't going to be a good movie on the sheer fact that the fur texture and lighting details on all the animals looked like they never got out of the stages of lighting test.
Seriously it just didn't look good and I feel bad for anyone who had to sit though it.

Huh, I didn't even know the scale went down to zero stars.

I saw Chris Stuckman's review of this yesterday, and he hated it, but the most telling point about this movie is that he stated the kids in his theater were totally bored with the movie too. He even overheard one kid, when the movie faded to black for a moment say "Is it over?" And then, when the movie came back up, the kid "Awwwwh maaan.." in a clearly disappointed voice.

So...yeah, when even kids don't find your movie interesting, you're in trouble.

RJ 17:

Marter:
Norm of the North is the worst theatrically released animated movie of all time

Oh come now, surely it can't be that ba---

Norm of the North is about a polar bear (Rob Schneider)

Ohhhhhhhhh......

OT: Serious question though to put your "worst animated movie ever" theory to the test. Now, I don't doubt that this movie is a crime against both man and god (it stars Rob Schneider, after all)...but is it truly worse than Food Fight?

Edit: Ah, nevermind. Seems you've already addressed that one. :P

First press play on this. Then on the Food Fight trailer.

It...is a work of art.

 

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