The 5th Wave - Invasion of the Teenage Body Snatchers, TV Pilot Edition

The 5th Wave - Invasion of the Teenage Body Snatchers, TV Pilot Edition

The 5th Wave is the first 30 minutes of every young adult adaptation from the last decade - but stretched into an unbearable two hours.

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I see the trailers for all these young adult movies and always think, "How do they keep their hair styled so well during the apocalypse?"

Yeah, that protagonist looks so painfully generic. You could have told me she was Claire from Heroes and I honestly would have believed you.

The disappearance of Alice Creed is a brilliant film. It needs its own genre really. As you can't really describe what makes it great without ruining a single moment. Pity the director leant back on unfullfilling teenage drama here. It gets in the way of every good idea, quite frustrating really.

Hang on. Of their multi-step plan to invade Earth, the aliens 4th step is body-snatching?

Honestly, they really should have led with that. After EMPs, floods and viruses, body-snatching feels wasted compared to what it could have achieved earlier in the invasion.

Maybe once the aliens do their body-snatching, they can turn the characters into likable people like putting on a play where each alien has a part so this is just high-quality shopping at a thrift store after... the first three steps.

I dunno, I'd watch a movie about that.

The_Darkness:
Hang on. Of their multi-step plan to invade Earth, the aliens 4th step is body-snatching?

Honestly, they really should have led with that. After EMPs, floods and viruses, body-snatching feels wasted compared to what it could have achieved earlier in the invasion.

Eh. This is another one of these "Dystopian Sci-Fi Used as a Crutch for HAWT TEEN HIJINKS" crap, so I can't say I'm surprised. Who needs versimilitude when the formula requires you to pack a tormented alien hybrid as a boy toy for your female protagonist to fall for?

Am I mixing movies or this another one of these "inspired by the Week-Long New York Times Bestseller Nobody Remembers" Young Adult products?

Plus, we're still in January, traditionally known as the month where movies with poor test audience receptions go to die. Considering, Marter's review was written on the wall. Non-figuratively, of course.

The_Darkness:
Hang on. Of their multi-step plan to invade Earth, the aliens 4th step is body-snatching?

Honestly, they really should have led with that. After EMPs, floods and viruses, body-snatching feels wasted compared to what it could have achieved earlier in the invasion.

EMP, floods and viruses are basically carpet-bombing, where as the body-snatching is scrubbing clean the remains. Makes sense to me. If anything, the FLOODING feels pointless - just make the killer virus deadlier and it would've done it.

The_Darkness:
Hang on. Of their multi-step plan to invade Earth, the aliens 4th step is body-snatching?

Honestly, they really should have led with that. After EMPs, floods and viruses, body-snatching feels wasted compared to what it could have achieved earlier in the invasion.

If you assume they have limited numbers of available 'troops' it makes sense. Send them in as a first wave and what happens? They start WW3 and kill millions? 2 problems:

1) they can kill people cleanly using their technology and they don't risk turning the earth into a radioactive hellhole (I'm assuming they want to mine/colonise it after we're done).

2) You risk losing your valuable sleeper agents through bombings, assassinations and diseases you didn't plan for (smallpox for example)

Now you could sent them in before you set off the EMP but the same thing happens; you risk killing your own troops in a blue on blue.

Sending them in as the 4th wave is like sending in the ground troops to clear an area after bombers/artillery have pounded it for a while.

Most people are dead and survivors are more likely to trust any survivors they meet (since there's not much in the way of choice when it comes to friends and allies). That makes getting embedded within groups of survivors becomes easier and you can group them together for easy extermination.

Anyone else see this movie title and always think of that Scifi channel show First Wave? Because I sure do.

I like Chloe Grace Moretz, but I'm beginning to wonder if she's ever going to get a good role again. It's like someone at the back office said, "Here's your new ingenue for the 2010s!"- and put her in a whole bunch of movies without ever checking to see if any of them would actually serve as good CV fodder for a career in acting.

Also, I'm beginning to think we're ripe for a parody in which dealing with the world-ending catastrophe is handed off to the fresh-faced young people and their raw emotions and inexperience lead to them all getting killed. At which point the task is given to people with actual qualifications.

For the antidote to movies like this, watch MovieBob's ScrewAttack series, In Bob We Trust, and he made an episode called "Diss-topia", totally tearing into the Hunger Games and its ilk, while singing the praises of an almost forgotten film called Equilibrium.
In fact, just watch Equilibrium, that is the tits.

Callate:
I like Chloe Grace Moretz, but I'm beginning to wonder if she's ever going to get a good role again. It's like someone at the back office said, "Here's your new ingenue for the 2010s!"- and put her in a whole bunch of movies without ever checking to see if any of them would actually serve as good CV fodder for a career in acting.

Also, I'm beginning to think we're ripe for a parody in which dealing with the world-ending catastrophe is handed off to the fresh-faced young people and their raw emotions and inexperience lead to them all getting killed. At which point the task is given to people with actual qualifications.

I expect the guys behind "Scary Movie" or something to do that.

Darth_Payn:

Callate:
I like Chloe Grace Moretz, but I'm beginning to wonder if she's ever going to get a good role again. It's like someone at the back office said, "Here's your new ingenue for the 2010s!"- and put her in a whole bunch of movies without ever checking to see if any of them would actually serve as good CV fodder for a career in acting.

Also, I'm beginning to think we're ripe for a parody in which dealing with the world-ending catastrophe is handed off to the fresh-faced young people and their raw emotions and inexperience lead to them all getting killed. At which point the task is given to people with actual qualifications.

I expect the guys behind "Scary Movie" or something to do that.

But, some of them are too busy parodying 50 Shades to get on that right now... :P

OT: Wow... So, the trailer was better AND gave away one of the more predictable plot twists? *shrugs* Oh well...

Other than that, I'm hoping Chloe can make this up with... *YouTubes* [Bad] Neighbors 2? *watches trailer* #Pleasemayitnotsuck

 

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