Zero Punctuation: E3 2016

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E3 2016

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews E3 2016.

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E3 was a big waste of time and the only thing I can remember about it was Microsoft giving people a reason not to buy a Xbox One for a year and a half.

Though coming off a rant about zombie games to then see a name badge with Fido on it made me laugh.

I completely forgot Yahtzee does an E3 review every year. I barely got excited for Mafia III & rebuying Skyrim. Project Scorpio guarantees I won't be buying an Xbox One until they come out with the final version. And Agents Of MAyHEM makes me miss Saints Row's character creation.

Whoever decided to name the Xbox One slim for Xbox One S, and the new upgraded Xbox One for Xbox One Scorpio is either retarded, or they're banking on confusing the people they didn't get to be naming their third console Xbox One, also all their games are also for Windows 10 so anyone with a decent computer just got their Xbox One turned into a giant paper weight

I liked the live orchestra for the Sony conference was a nice idea, also only about 3 minutes of talking, hopefully this is an omen for next conferences

In comparison Ubisoft and EA still don't seem to have gotten the hint that no one wants to listen to uncharismatic executives going full "how do you do fellow kids?", and how much cringe potential it has

Funny video, blah blah hype train blah, great zingers.

That ending comment wondering when Microsoft will come out with an xbox that can run steam... I never even thought of that before. The consequences for the console market would be very interesting. And that's probably the most interesting thing to come out of E3 this year: yahtzee's teasing joke at the end of his video review.

The smartphone approach to consoles is exactly what Microsoft is trying to do. Sony seems suddenly indecisive about the whole concept (Mainly because they just realized that they lost what steam they had thus far), and Nintendo is seems to be off making the Wii U 2.0.

Yeah, compared to last year, this E3 wasn't very good.
Then again, last year had the FF7 Remake so it's not entirely a fair contest...

Seriously, how DO you top that?

Still looking forward to the Crash remakes tho, fucking love that guy :D

honestly hoping that god of war 4 kills Kratos off and has the son as the main character avenging his dead dad and then at the end of the game, Kratos emerges from the underworld for the seventh billion time and set himself up as the villain for the inevitable God of war 5.

I mean I doubt that will happen, but I can still live in hope through the power of denial!

Am I the only that hated the orchestra during Sony's press conference? I just found it really distracting and overbearing(plus it made them look kind of pompous and arrogant). I wish they would just let God of War die already, as it already felt like the franchise was on it's last legs with Ascension.

I don't know if VR is the way forward, Rift and Vive are too expensive for the average gamer, and PSVR might end up like Kinect since Sony insists on selling both it and the Neo(which like Yahtzee said they really should've brought up, not bringing up made it look like they have no confidence in the thing).

I'm looking forward to Days Gone, Wildlands, Spider-Man, Prey, Watch Dogs 2, Agents of Mayhem, Horizon Zero Dawn, Titanfall 2, Dead Rising 4, Mass Effect Andromeda and Scalebound.

I'm not crazy about the consoles trying to copy the Smartphone model either, it just seems very shortsighted.

The Windows 10 thing won't necessarily render Xbox One's obsolete, as there's plenty of people like myself who HATE Windows 10 and refuse to switch to it until support for Windows 7 stops in 2020.

Quake Champions looks awful, after the excellent run I.d was having with Wolfenstein and Doom's awesome single-player campaigns, going for a multiplayer-only Quake(despite having released one several years ago with Quake Live) seems like a huge step backwards, Quake IV was what got me into FPS games to begin with(first M-rated game I ever played) so not seeing a follow-up to it really felt like a missed opportunity. Who exactly is the audience for that game? I can't imagine Overwatch players having any interest in an old dog desperately trying to learn new tricks, and Quake 3 Arena fans certainly won't be interested in an MP-only game that's so far removed from the arena shooter action they are used to.

Soulrender95:
honestly hoping that god of war 4 kills Kratos off and has the son as the main character avenging his dead dad and then at the end of the game, Kratos emerges from the underworld for the seventh billion time and set himself up as the villain for the inevitable God of war 5.

I mean I doubt that will happen, but I can still live in hope through the power of denial!

The developers already confirmed Kratos would not die.

darkrage6:
The developers already confirmed Kratos would not die.

I did say I was using the power of denial, and honestly if I was writing a story for a massive game I'd lie in pretty much every interview about plot points so as not to spoil it.

I feel nothing from these events really anymore. Gaming is losing its' charm, and with it, any excitement for future projects. Even with trying to poke the reward pathways, still just nothing. Some conversation is often more interesting. Though maybe that soul selling moment was more real than I first assumed. Should've got a better deal. Eh, it was pretty much in bad condition anyway. But being dead on the inside doesn't stop the outside being crunchy and chocolatey.

darkrage6:
I'm not crazy about the consoles trying to copy the Smartphone model either, it just seems very shortsighted.

The sad truth is, this isn't a shortsighted method. With previous console generations, each new system was literally the next leap in technology. However, in recent years, tech is being produced and upgrade at such a scary pace that this business model will no longer work. That's the reason why Apple and other such companies get away with a new iPhone every season, because the latest tech used this year is severially outdated the next.

Also, there's the factor that technology is very expensive to produce both at the beginning and end of it's lifecycle, so a lot of companies try to capitalize on it during the midpoint where the tech is easy enough to afford. However, with technology upgrading so fast, this mid-point is becoming much smaller, so companies end up paying more money for the development of a device at a much quicker pace than expected.

darkrage6:
Am I the only that hated the orchestra during Sony's press conference? I just found it really distracting and overbearing(plus it made them look kind of pompous and arrogant). I wish they would just let God of War die already, as it already felt like the franchise was on it's last legs with Ascension.

I'm looking forward to Days Gone, Wildlands, Spider-Man, Prey, Watch Dogs 2, Agents of Mayhem, Horizon Zero Dawn, Titanfall 2, Dead Rising 4, Mass Effect Andromeda and Scalebound.

Quake Champions looks awful, after the excellent run I.d was having with Wolfenstein and Doom's awesome single-player campaigns, going for a multiplayer-only Quake(despite having released one several years ago with Quake Live) seems like a huge step backwards, Quake IV was what got me into FPS games to begin with(first M-rated game I ever played) so not seeing a follow-up to it really felt like a missed opportunity. Who exactly is the audience for that game? I can't imagine Overwatch players having any interest in an old dog desperately trying to learn new tricks, and Quake 3 Arena fans certainly won't be interested in an MP-only game that's so far removed from the arena shooter action they are used to.

I'll give them an A for effort on the orchestra; otherwise I agree with you. No more Kratos. If they're doing Norse mythology, can't they just used the Norse war god. There is at least five of them. I know Thor would be the most obvious case, but who cares?! Odin's Sphere is better game based off Norse mythos than God of War IV.

Spiderman, Nier: Automata, Horizon: Zero Dawn, and ReCore (I don't have an XONE) I found the more interesting of the bunch. Titanfall 2 was meh, I still have no interest in Watch_Dogs period (including the rest of Ubi's sandbox games), Scalebound has me worried, and zombie games stuff in general bored me to death along time ago.

I agree with Yahtzee. What is the point of a Star Trek VR, or even VR in general, if you can't be Doctor Bashir?

Spiderman PS4 won E3 but its just me being a huge spiderman fanboy

I made bets with my friend Kratos's kid dies in the end of act one, he said the kids lives until the middle of the last chapter and when somebody talked about the kid living and Kratos being like that we laughed for a bit before thinking "Considering how little we knew of Kratos' other family, that seems a bit disrespectful".

I find very odd Yahtzee's positon about VR, he said that the PS2-Gamecube-Xbox era was the best, where his favorite games were made, then Nintendo shifted the market of Motion controls to the which he early on dismissed because many games were replacing normal inputs by motions of the control, which is basically what the VR headset does, you look around, something that could very well be acomplished with the right analog stick, unless the action is so fast paced you have to look around while your hands do something, but such game has yet to appear. Then he makes the killing blow of exclusive to VR shouldn't be exclusive, I would have agreed with headset exclusivity, but taking away the exclusives, the very thing that promps consoles to sell seems a good incentive to NOT invest on VR.

When you stop and remember, Quake II didn't have a whole lot to do with the original Quake either.
As a resident of the San Francisco Bay Area, WATCH_DOGS_2 piqued my curiosity, and pandered to me in an adorable, slightly-out-of-ouch-with-the-kids-today way. Though keep in mind that Ubisoft has an office in SF, so I think they would know what they're talking about in the game.

But maybe it's just me, I don't find cancer jokes funny anymore.

Soulrender95:

darkrage6:
The developers already confirmed Kratos would not die.

I did say I was using the power of denial, and honestly if I was writing a story for a massive game I'd lie in pretty much every interview about plot points so as not to spoil it.

They wouldn't do that; it's just TOO innovative and unexpected!

CoCage:

darkrage6:
Am I the only that hated the orchestra during Sony's press conference? I just found it really distracting and overbearing(plus it made them look kind of pompous and arrogant). I wish they would just let God of War die already, as it already felt like the franchise was on it's last legs with Ascension.

I'm looking forward to Days Gone, Wildlands, Spider-Man, Prey, Watch Dogs 2, Agents of Mayhem, Horizon Zero Dawn, Titanfall 2, Dead Rising 4, Mass Effect Andromeda and Scalebound.

Quake Champions looks awful, after the excellent run I.d was having with Wolfenstein and Doom's awesome single-player campaigns, going for a multiplayer-only Quake(despite having released one several years ago with Quake Live) seems like a huge step backwards, Quake IV was what got me into FPS games to begin with(first M-rated game I ever played) so not seeing a follow-up to it really felt like a missed opportunity. Who exactly is the audience for that game? I can't imagine Overwatch players having any interest in an old dog desperately trying to learn new tricks, and Quake 3 Arena fans certainly won't be interested in an MP-only game that's so far removed from the arena shooter action they are used to.

I'll give them an A for effort on the orchestra; otherwise I agree with you. No more Kratos. If they're doing Norse mythology, can't they just used the Norse war god. There is at least five of them. I know Thor would be the most obvious case, but who cares?! Odin's Sphere is better game based off Norse mythos than God of War IV.

Spiderman, Nier: Automata, Horizon: Zero Dawn, and ReCore (I don't have an XONE) I found the more interesting of the bunch. Titanfall 2 was meh, I still have no interest in Watch_Dogs period (including the rest of Ubi's sandbox games), Scalebound has me worried, and zombie games stuff in general bored me to death along time ago.

Oh yeah I forgot about Recore, that's on my list too. I know some people are worried since Keiji Inafune is working on it after the disaster of Mighty No 9(really looking forward to Yahtzee tearing that game to shreds), but i'm not worried, Inafune is talented, he just works better with oversight then being the head of a project.

Didn't like the first Nier much(hated how they forced you to play through the game twice to get the "true" ending) since I don't have much hope for Automata being any better.

I like all of Ubisoft's sandbox games aside from Assassin's Creed(Which I truly wish would die).

I'm always surprised when I hear how people are tired of zombies games, as if they're a genre somehow. I personally like the idea of bikers vs zombies(though when I saw the trailer I thought it was a sequel to Ride to Hell).

Darth_Payn:
When you stop and remember, Quake II didn't have a whole lot to do with the original Quake either.
As a resident of the San Francisco Bay Area, WATCH_DOGS_2 piqued my curiosity, and pandered to me in an adorable, slightly-out-of-ouch-with-the-kids-today way. Though keep in mind that Ubisoft has an office in SF, so I think they would know what they're talking about in the game.

But maybe it's just me, I don't find cancer jokes funny anymore.

Soulrender95:

darkrage6:
The developers already confirmed Kratos would not die.

I did say I was using the power of denial, and honestly if I was writing a story for a massive game I'd lie in pretty much every interview about plot points so as not to spoil it.

They wouldn't do that; it's just TOO innovative and unexpected!

Is that because of Total Biscuit having cancer?

Diablo1099:
Yeah, compared to last year, this E3 wasn't very good.
Then again, last year had the FF7 Remake so it's not entirely a fair contest...

Seriously, how DO you top that?

Still looking forward to the Crash remakes tho, fucking love that guy :D

I hear that, I mean we had SOME good titles, but... how do you compare to FF7?

4:20 Eh, I'll wait for the OTHER game coming out this year that focuses on Deicide. (Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse)

4:30 Yahtzee, I checked out as soon as they were done talking about South Park: Fractured But Whole.

4:52 Still might be bad, but hey, it might be much more interesting than Pierce.

It's true, publishers really do seem to have caught on to the fact that they don't have to actually do anything in order to get people excited. Look at E3 last year - they ANNOUNCED the FFVII Remake... they barely showed any footage at all and people lost their shit. New God of War! New Zelda! New Resident Evil! Names that you're familiar with! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Seriously, I basically checked out on E3 completely this year, and normally I'm in front of my computer for the whole time. This year I just scrolled through YouTube. Shit at E3 just doesn't excite me anymore because I have to wonder how many changes the announced title is going to have to go through before we get it; I mean sure a remake of FFVII is exciting, but what's not exciting is learning that they'll be charging the price of a full game for each episode. The New Resident Evil looks cool and all, but in no way is it actually Resident Evil from what I saw, so who knows what kind of changes we can expect.

darkrage6:

Didn't like the first Nier much(hated how they forced you to play through the game twice to get the "true" ending) since I don't have much hope for Automata being any better.

I like all of Ubisoft's sandbox games aside from Assassin's Creed(Which I truly wish would die).

I'm always surprised when I hear how people are tired of zombies games, as if they're a genre somehow. I personally like the idea of bikers vs zombies(though when I saw the trailer I thought it was a sequel to Ride to Hell).

I never played nor cared for the first Nier either, but Platinum is behind it; and I saw a good amount of footage online. From what I've seen, it's looking great.

Zombie games are a genre; ever since the popularity of Left 4 Dead & Nazi Zombies, almost every other developer jumped on the zombie bandwagon regardless whether it made since or not.

Yes, there were always zombies in games, but not to this extent of over saturation. Red Dead Redemption, Yakuza, Sniper's Zombie Army Trilogy, Last of US, Uncharted 1, and many more. The last games I ever really enjoyed that involved zombies were Lollipop Chainsaw, Onechanbara Z2: Chaos (the franchise has been around since 2004), and Killer Is Dead (the zombies are either from the moon or dark matter from the moon infects a person).

Days Gone feels like Last of Us: Biker edition meets World War Z [1]

[1] The crappy PG-13 ZOMBIE MOVIE that had nothing to do with the book.

This is literally the only thing that makes E3 worthwhile.

While E3 rarely excites, it does get some attention on interesting games coming out. In addition we got some gameplay footage for games from the previous year, Recore, while others showed their current development level. I'll admits I was utter shocked at the God of War demo, but I liked the fast paced action of the previous games. I wonder how this one will play out. When the Call of Duty video played I really didn't know what it was. I thought it was a space sim with ground/base missions. Surprise it's a FPS. Shame that.

Not gonna lie. I walked away from the Titanfall 2 and Infinite Warfare gameplay trailers and samples feeling some excitement for the final games.

Whether they deliver on their promises is another matter, but consider me intrigued, nonetheless.

Yahtzee Croshaw:
snip

B5Alpha:
I agree with Yahtzee. What is the point of a Star Trek VR, or even VR in general, if you can't be Doctor Bashir?

I dunno....getting to play as The Doctor from Voyager would be interesting.

You'd be using VR to simulate the sensation of being a holographic doctor pretending to be human. The Freudian metaphors practically write themselves.

Hey, I'd still go Sporty Spice! The way Posh Spice looks these days I'd be worried I'd cut myself on one of her hard angles.

I laughed way harder than I needed to during that Spice Girls joke... #SpiceWorldSunday

The only E3 think I watched was that Treehouse livestream... and I'm still wondering where the regret is suppose to happen...

I can't help thinking his name is spelled Patrick Childe-Mellesta.

darkrage6:
Am I the only that hated the orchestra during Sony's press conference? I just found it really distracting and overbearing(plus it made them look kind of pompous and arrogant).

Really? It took an orchestra at a press conference to tell you that? I've only been noticing their pretentious, arrogant attitude since the PS2 era ended and yet people went ahead and bought the PS4 anyways completely ignoring that the advertising behind it was no less loud and arrogant.

LordTerminal:

darkrage6:
Am I the only that hated the orchestra during Sony's press conference? I just found it really distracting and overbearing(plus it made them look kind of pompous and arrogant).

Really? It took an orchestra at a press conference to tell you that? I've only been noticing their pretentious, arrogant attitude since the PS2 era ended and yet people went ahead and bought the PS4 anyways completely ignoring that the advertising behind it was no less loud and arrogant.

I guess that explains why I've never really sought interest in any of Sony's consoles (Aside from the handhelds), though their attitude didn't become apparent to me until 2013 (Talking to Sony: Don't lie, you were about to do the same exact thing).

B5Alpha:
I agree with Yahtzee. What is the point of a Star Trek VR, or even VR in general, if you can't be Doctor Bashir?

Look on the bright side, you're effectively roleplaying as Geordi.

quake champions annoyed me because honestly i wanted to see more strogg
That and Bethesda displayed they couldn't do multiplayer with doom so why make a multiplayer only game in a market saturated with distant relatives of quake or mobas.
Seriously CS:GO, from half life, related to quake
overwatch mobas + tf2 related to quake on the father's side
Tf2, is the direct product of a quake mod
Badfield and COD are vaguely related to quake but more of a distant family member that people don't like discussing at the family get-togethers.
Dota 2, league, etc
Quake even has it's own servers still with a dedicatd fanbase that will not likely buy this piece of shit
They are going to alienate their fans, and other consumers with this why did that think this was a good idea?

FPLOON:
The only E3 think I watched was that Treehouse livestream... and I'm still wondering where the regret is suppose to happen...

Much ado about nothing. One game announced, plus a few handhelds. Some figurines. No word on the NX.

Now I'm intrigued about what Bethesda could do with Commander Keen.

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