Zero Punctuation: Quake

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Quake

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Quake.

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Hmm, oddly enough that pretty much sums up my thoughts on quake as well.

Christ in heaven Yahtzee's joke about "passion" slayed me in that one. Great critique on the game really.

Just checking, but is "cunt" safe for public use now?

Solkard:

Just checking, but is "cunt" safe for public use now?

He's a Brit living in Australia IIRC, "cunt" is more like punctuation over there, not like in the US where the oversensitive pussies think it's the worst insult ever XD

TheBigOne0305:

Solkard:

Just checking, but is "cunt" safe for public use now?

He's a Brit living in Australia IIRC, "cunt" is more like punctuation over there, not like in the US where the oversensitive pussies think it's the worst insult ever XD

Sorry, I should've been clearer. I meant, is it safe for public "online" use? I just wanted to check if we would get in trouble with mods for using it in forum posts.

Oh man, that life cycle of shooters at the end. That was great.

...at least you're drinking Carlsberg and not Tuborg...

It's funny how shooters after Quake (already with Quake 2) "improved" the genre by making your weapons spread their bullets according to recoil and other random factors. This is as close to a sort of perfection we ever got, in regards to a "pure shooter".

Solkard:

Sorry, I should've been clearer. I meant, is it safe for public "online" use? I just wanted to check if we would get in trouble with mods for using it in forum posts.

As long as you don't call anyone in particular (other members or creators of the site) a cunt, you're fine. For example, you can call Hillary and Trump a couple of cunty McCunty cunt cunts, without repercussions.

He forgot to mention all that lovely ambience by Trent Reznor, that you only can hear if you own the CD version.
Or if you run it through quakespasm and happen to have the music files in some other format.
It almost feels like a different game with the ambience on. The horror aspect becomes much more noticeable.

That's the third Filipino boy reference in the like 5 years I've been following Yahtzee.

The other two I got, this one I don't.

I do remember experiencing awe at the atmosphere and the character design as I played it for the first time years ago. "Okay, I'm barely alive, but I think I'll make it thr-AHHHH IT'S SOME KIND OF ELECTRIC POLAR BEAR BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE IT'S JUST A BLOODY MOUTH". And then I died.

After that I mostly spent my time in god mode, noclipping through walls. Oh, and looking at the graphics settings and wondering what kind of magical box could ever run that game at 1280x1024. Maybe one of those Pentium Pro 180 mhz computers could do it.

FINALLY! Another retro review. About time. :D

Yeah, my complaint with Quake, having replayed it recently, is that a lot of the weapons were rendered obsolete pretty much when you got the improved version of them.

Double Shotgun replaces the Shotgun. Super Nailgun replaces the Nailgun. Rocket Launcher replaces the Grenade Launcher. And then you got the Lightning Gun, so really in the end, you're just using the same four weapons throughout the entire game. Even if the weapons feel and sound beautiful. Heck, maybe even just three weapons since you don't use the LG until you really need to usually.

Smilomaniac:
It's funny how shooters after Quake (already with Quake 2) "improved" the genre by making your weapons spread their bullets according to recoil and other random factors. This is as close to a sort of perfection we ever got, in regards to a "pure shooter".

Not really though. Serious Sam took up that mantle rather nicely. Also Unreal Tournament. Doom 4. Painkiller. Etc. But mainly, Serious Sam and Doom 4.

I always liked Unreal Tournament over Quake, mainly because I didn't have to toggle mouse-look with the right ctrl in UT. Likewise, I'll always have a soft spot for the Redeemer.

Hutzpah Chicken:
I always liked Unreal Tournament over Quake, mainly because I didn't have to toggle mouse-look with the right ctrl in UT. Likewise, I'll always have a soft spot for the Redeemer.

In Q1 all you had to do was enter "+mlook" into the console and it would be on all the time.

Yahtzee claimed to have nice weather now in the summer. Has he left Australia, or is he ignoring reality for a sake of a joke?

Or referring to there being nice weather all around the year in Australia?

When he started mentioning the brown castles, I was waiting for a reference to Clive Barker's Jericho.

I remember it taking a very long time before I figured out you had to telefrag the last boss.

He should review Dark Forces 2 (Jedi Knight 1?)

IMO that was the pinnacle of the switch from sprites to polys genre...even if the ruined the pure awesomeness of the Compressed Air gun from Dark Forces 1

Huge sprawling levels, good variety of enemies and weapons, and supremely hilarious full-motion video cutscenes

Watch here if you dare!

slo:
He forgot to mention all that lovely ambience by Trent Reznor, that you only can hear if you own the CD version.
Or if you run it through quakespasm and happen to have the music files in some other format.
It almost feels like a different game with the ambience on. The horror aspect becomes much more noticeable.

From back in the day when Trent Reznor was a dark drug-addled musical god spiraling his way to an early grave, before his became the moderately depressed wanker of the modern era. On the upside, he'll probably live longer this way.

So this episode is straight up fucking poetic. I would guess it's been stirring around his brain for a while maybe..?
In any case it had me spitting out my drink in laughter every second line.

So someone here owes me half a bottle of extremely cheap white.

slo:
He forgot to mention all that lovely ambience by Trent Reznor, that you only can hear if you own the CD version.
Or if you run it through quakespasm and happen to have the music files in some other format.
It almost feels like a different game with the ambience on. The horror aspect becomes much more noticeable.

I wonder why he didn't bring that up. When I heard it was Trent Reznor who composed the Quake soundtrack, while I was playing that game on the N64*, it blew my mind!

ephesus64:
I do remember experiencing awe at the atmosphere and the character design as I played it for the first time years ago. "Okay, I'm barely alive, but I think I'll make it thr-AHHHH IT'S SOME KIND OF ELECTRIC POLAR BEAR BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE IT'S JUST A BLOODY MOUTH". And then I died.

After that I mostly spent my time in god mode, noclipping through walls. Oh, and looking at the graphics settings and wondering what kind of magical box could ever run that game at 1280x1024. Maybe one of those Pentium Pro 180 mhz computers could do it.

Yes, I too remember the Ogres, who can all GET FUCKED. It took me, like, 20 grenades or rockets to kill one, and a hell of a lot of nails from the Super Nailgun. Because the vanilla Nailgun just wasn't Nailgunny enough for my Nailgunning needs.

*Good god, I feel old.

Don't think Carmack had much to do with level design though. He is primarily their tech guy.

Ahh Quake. The hours spent in multiplayer, chasing and being shot up by my flatmates, with the constant threat of spinning through a doorway as my weapon ran out of ammunition so it decided to automatically change to the fucking rocket launcher and I ended up fragging myself because I shot the bloody wall next to me.

Sniff. Good times, good times!

Okay lets be fair. Yes, Quake could be said to be the progenitor of the bland gray/brown shooters, but the difference is that Quake isn't "bland". I feel that it was less a harbinger of FPS's to come, and more that it's a case study in the fact that a brighter color scheme wouldn't have fixed many of the shooters from the past decade or so. Obviously you can get away with a bland color scheme, otherwise Quake wouldn't be so fondly remembered by nearly everyone who played it. Heck, it took being reminded that Quake was actually kind of an ugly game (in your Clive Barker's Jericho review, I believe) before I realized that "Holy shit! He's right. Quake DOES have a very bland color scheme." Yet it's still a beloved classic despite that.

I think the problem is less the color scheme, and more that Quake wasn't using said color scheme in some vain attempt to pass-off as looking realistic. Quake knew its graphics were shit, but it also knew what kind of setting it was going for. Let's be honest, as much as you can make fun of Quake for having a lot of dull color tones, it would have felt like a completely different game if it used brighter colors.

deadish:
Don't think Carmack had much to do with level design though. He is primarily their tech guy.

Also telling John Romero that no, that was a fucking stupid idea.

I feel like Yahtzee had fun with this one. Like, much more than normal. Maybe it's the enthusiasm and the wording

This manages to explain why I was so bored with Quake when it was new.

Quake 2 didn't bother me so much.

Quake 3 Arena though, oh my, the months and months of playing that game were wonderful. Though with recent games trying to tap into that era of shooters are making them much too fast paced. Quake 3 and UT weren't nearly as frantic as people remember them.

Sniper Team 4:
Oh man, that life cycle of shooters at the end. That was great.

Best joke of the lot, honestly. Actually made me laugh audibly.

Nurb:
Quake 3 and UT weren't nearly as frantic as people remember them.

They were if you played with the right (or wrong) people.

I was in a tourney group for Q3:A back in the day. The game escalates into a wholly different level of speed and intensity when you're playing against people who are good...really good...at the game.

I think we can all agree, though, that Quake 3 Arena was Goldeneye for the PC.

Something about when you landed a shot with a railgun on someone flying from a jump booster only to get sprayed with their guts as it landed.

Grey_Area:
Ahh Quake. The hours spent in multiplayer, chasing and being shot up by my flatmates, with the constant threat of spinning through a doorway as my weapon ran out of ammunition so it decided to automatically change to the fucking rocket launcher and I ended up fragging myself because I shot the bloody wall next to me.

Sniff. Good times, good times!

Back in MY day, we rocket jumped everywhere! And we liked it!

This is refreshing, like a fine wine aged for decades. Ignore the health warnings from your doctor and online, its totally fine to still enjoy insane level design from yesteryear. :D

Wait a minute, he didn't actually review the level pack from Machine Games! What gives?

It's winter in Australia.
I don't get why Yahtzee's hiding in a fridge and calling it summer.

ephesus64:
I do remember experiencing awe at the atmosphere and the character design as I played it for the first time years ago. "Okay, I'm barely alive, but I think I'll make it thr-AHHHH IT'S SOME KIND OF ELECTRIC POLAR BEAR BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE IT'S JUST A BLOODY MOUTH". And then I died.

After that I mostly spent my time in god mode, noclipping through walls. Oh, and looking at the graphics settings and wondering what kind of magical box could ever run that game at 1280x1024. Maybe one of those Pentium Pro 180 mhz computers could do it.

Ah, Shamblers...

image

Like Cyberdemons, but with 185% extra 'fuck you'. I hated those damn things.

OT: I look forward to next week's episode, when Yahtzee reviews more hot new releases like Dune 2 or X-Wing.

'No new releases', missing the chance to tear into No Man's Sky. Oh well, maybe next week?

The thing that I remember best about Quake isn't actually the game itself (I actually enjoyed the sequel more due to much faster run speed, better weapons and high-tech environments that were gorgeous for the time). I remember someone writing a letter to Nintendo Power about how they were playing Quake when suddenly their house was hit by an earthquake, causing their TV to fall onto their console, destroying the former and leaving a big hole in the latter.

Let's hope he stays far away from GTA or Fallout.

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