Judging By The Cover: Judging Steven Seagal

Judging Steven Seagal

Judging End of Gun by the cover.

Watch Video

What goes on the end of a gun? Muzzle flashes. Let's just put muzzle flashes everywhere. LMAO!!

Segal's been making his own dignity magically disappear for at least a decade. I was really surprised when I saw this week's posters, I didn't think Segal was even in movies anymore.

nightowlc:
What goes on the end of a gun? Muzzle flashes. Let's just put muzzle flashes everywhere. LMAO!!

Segal's been making his own dignity magically disappear for at least a decade. I was really surprised when I saw this week's posters, I didn't think Segal was even in movies anymore.

He's more about singing about safe spaces now.

Justice occurring in courtrooms?

HA!

Steven Seagal looks like a slightly deflated Movie Bob in that third poster.

There's still a market for his brand of films? Or is it all about that tax saving? I had a Dr once tell me about seeing his blues band in the US completely accidentally and it was one of the worst, half-assed performance he'd seen, where Seagull was drunk and stoned off his face, unable to play or sing to any acceptable standard. And this is blues! ...The crayon drawing equivalent of musical skill requirement. Not that blues is always bad, soulfully played blues is nice, but it is so incredibly simple that it takes effort to screw up.

Now he's done it! Segal has besmirched the name of the Perfect Weapon! Now he gets the sticks!

That last line got ALL the laughs!
Great start of the weekend as usual, thanks! ;)

Segal is going to need an extra Safe Space now.

Does the Seagull get hit in this movie? Or has he overcome his fear of being touched by men?

So...Deus Ex for next week? All the games' covers?

Johnny Novgorod:
Steven Seagal looks like a slightly deflated Movie Bob in that third poster.

Oh my god, I can't unsee that.

Xsjadoblayde:
There's still a market for his brand of films? Or is it all about that tax saving? I had a Dr once tell me about seeing his blues band in the US completely accidentally and it was one of the worst, half-assed performance he'd seen, where Seagull was drunk and stoned off his face, unable to play or sing to any acceptable standard. And this is blues! ...The crayon drawing equivalent of musical skill requirement. Not that blues is always bad, soulfully played blues is nice, but it is so incredibly simple that it takes effort to screw up.

Maybe it's like Sony and Spiderman, he has to make at least one movie every once in a while or he loses his rights.

Dignity is not the only thing Steven can magically disappear.

I got curious and turned to imdb, as (like most of us), I haven't seen even five minutes of a Seagal movie since about 1990.

I have to cotton to being somewhat impressed; he's managed to keep working pretty steadily for the past decade. This despite being a 64-year old former action icon with a reputation for being kind of awful to work with. And no neck or chin.

Xsjadoblayde:
There's still a market for his brand of films? Or is it all about that tax saving? I had a Dr once tell me about seeing his blues band in the US completely accidentally and it was one of the worst, half-assed performance he'd seen, where Seagull was drunk and stoned off his face, unable to play or sing to any acceptable standard. And this is blues! ...The crayon drawing equivalent of musical skill requirement. Not that blues is always bad, soulfully played blues is nice, but it is so incredibly simple that it takes effort to screw up.

So a Steven Seagal performance?

Gotta love Steven Seagal and how out of touch with reality he is. The guy can't let go of the golden age of over-the-top B action/martial arts flicks of the 80's and early 90's. He's been trying to keep that genre alive for the better part of the last 20 years single-handedly. It's both impressive and sad.

I will admit that his early work (if you can call it work) is my guilty pleasure.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here