Zero Punctuation: Grow Up

Grow Up

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Grow Up.

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Home would be an adverb.

I wonder if Yahtzee will progress even further in terms of "penises in ZP." I mean, he has now reached the point of "just color them light green" from the humble beginnings of "completely censoring them."

I guess I should say something about the game, i.e. I didn't even know Grow Home had a sequel. But I'm so apathetic towards new games these days that I might actually be Growing Up (pseudo-pun intended). About time too; I'm almost 25.

Everybody grows up, but not everybody matures.

Never heard of either game Yahtzee talked about in this review, don't really need to. I come here just to laugh. A highlight of my day.

But really... it seems like he's beyond scrapping the bottom of the barrel and more like prying the boards up to see what seeped through the cracks.

If you can't find anything to tear apar-I mean bas-erm, review, you could always hop over to the JRPG barrel. There's plenty of disgusting, slimy weird things in that barrel to swill for awhile.

Well, I kinda wish Yahtzee reviewed Chibi-Robo, but the GameCube version is impossible to find and the others are not as good.

Arthain:
Snip

That's the thing, the drought of July is supposed to end in the beginning of August, but E3 showed that nothing big or worthwhile would get released during this period either and the situation is not any better in the indie market, the best or more anticipated games already came out, and I remember Yahtzee saying that he didn't want to fill the schedule with retro reviews like he did in 2014.

The London map while talking about ubisoft was a nice touch.

I wonder if Yahtzee is going to review that godawful Metroid Prime Federation Force game? Seriously that game makes Other M look like a goddamn masterpiece by comparison.

A review of a game I've never heard of? Huh, I thought there was some smaller title coming out last week that I was expecting Yahtzee to review...

darkrage6:
I wonder if Yahtzee is going to review that godawful Metroid Prime Federation Force game? Seriously that game makes Other M look like a goddamn masterpiece by comparison.

Right! That was the one!

Given that he enjoyed the Luigi ghost hunting game made by the same studio I assumed he would be all over Metroid Prime Federation Force.

If I live to be a hundred, the imagery of Yahtzee beating his enlarged scrotum with a fistful of ice chips will still haunt/titillate me.

Xman490:
I wonder if Yahtzee will progress even further in terms of "penises in ZP." I mean, he has now reached the point of "just color them light green" from the humble beginnings of "completely censoring them."

I thought those were floppy green dildoes, they looked a bit transparent to me. Also, auto-correct doesn't like it when I pluralize the word 'dildo'. And I shan't forgive you for making me do so.

Yay Yahtzee's reviewing a game I've never heard of that's apparently a sequel to another game I've never heard of.

Is it weird I'm surprised this is actually on steam? I thought Grow up and Grow Home were console exclusives. They just look like Nintendo third party games. haha

Igor-Rowan:
Well, I kinda wish Yahtzee reviewed Chibi-Robo, but the GameCube version is impossible to find and the others are not as good.

Arthain:
Snip

That's the thing, the drought of July is supposed to end in the beginning of August, but E3 showed that nothing big or worthwhile would get released during this period either and the situation is not any better in the indie market, the best or more anticipated games already came out, and I remember Yahtzee saying that he didn't want to fill the schedule with retro reviews like he did in 2014.

Well, like it was mentioned, there is the new Metroid game. And, the new Deus Ex and King of Fighters released last week as well.

Grow Home and Grow Up?

Jesus fuck there's nothing coming out...

darkrage6:
I wonder if Yahtzee is going to review that godawful Metroid Prime Federation Force game? Seriously that game makes Other M look like a goddamn masterpiece by comparison.

No. No! NO! GOD NO! People have been hating this game since it was announced a year ago and have been senselessly hating it since to the point that the Metroid fanbase became more of a toxic cesspool than the UnderTale fanbase. And as such, I can't take any negative reviews about it seriously no matter what valid points they bring up simply because I'm under the impression they're just doing it to pander to said Metroid fanbase and get more clicks and views instead of being honest. And you really think that the usual barrage of Yahtzee dick, shit and sex jokes added on to such a thing will make things better?

If Yahtzee's smart, he'll ignore the game. At least for now. The last thing I need is him stirring an already venomous stew pot any further and I have to hear even more about it. I'll judge the game for myself when it gets a price drop but until then, I don't need Yahtzee making a negative review of something I can't even trust to not be pandering to the majority opinion.

Transdude1996:
Snip

How big of a deal were those games again? Personally I could the only recall the hype for No Man's Sky this month and forgot everything else that was coming. Even Furi or Setsuna I had heard about before release.

LordTerminal:
Snip

I wouldn't count it on happening, there is a new Paper Mario game coming and one Nintendo game is not gonna be enough for Yahtzee's rant, I'm putting my money right now he still will find a way to talk about motion controls even though both titles feature none.

Did no one really heard of the first game? Its really good to chill out and very unique. One of the high points for me in the Ubisoft E3 conference, since they fucked up the Ghost Recon presentation.

I have both of these, surprised they aren't well known. It's one of Ubi's smaller indie-like projects. Quite relaxing stiff (an actual mistake, sad lol) stuff, if very Freudian on almost every level.

LordTerminal:

darkrage6:
I wonder if Yahtzee is going to review that godawful Metroid Prime Federation Force game? Seriously that game makes Other M look like a goddamn masterpiece by comparison.

No. No! NO! GOD NO! People have been hating this game since it was announced a year ago and have been senselessly hating it since to the point that the Metroid fanbase became more of a toxic cesspool than the UnderTale fanbase. And as such, I can't take any negative reviews about it seriously no matter what valid points they bring up simply because I'm under the impression they're just doing it to pander to said Metroid fanbase and get more clicks and views instead of being honest. And you really think that the usual barrage of Yahtzee dick, shit and sex jokes added on to such a thing will make things better?

If Yahtzee's smart, he'll ignore the game. At least for now. The last thing I need is him stirring an already venomous stew pot any further and I have to hear even more about it. I'll judge the game for myself when it gets a price drop but until then, I don't need Yahtzee making a negative review of something I can't even trust to not be pandering to the majority opinion.

Well I was perfectly willing to give that game a chance since I actually liked Other M in spite of it's flaws, but it turns out people had every right to be cautious about Federation Force, it's just not a good game, it's horribly bland and clearly not balanced for solo-players, the shooting is boring and repetitive, the graphics look very outdated, music is crap, control scheme is really awkward.

So no i'm not doing it to "pander" at all, I was legitimately let down by that game.

Rest assured if Jim Sterling reviews the game and hates it, you'll known he didn't do it for clicks since he makes no money off people reading his reviews.

Yahtzee crapped on Super Mario Maker, which led to some Nintendo fanboys getting all butthurt(let's not forget all the emails he received after his review of Smash Bros Brawl), so I highly doubt he's going to avoid this game.

You sound incredibly silly by totally disregarding all negatives of this game, I think Yahtzee needs to do a public service by calling that game out as the piece of crap that it is.

GrumbleGrump:
Grow Home and Grow Up?

Jesus fuck there's nothing coming out...

Have you forgotten about Deus Ex: Mankind Divided? There's also that Attack on Titan game.

darkrage6:

GrumbleGrump:
Grow Home and Grow Up?

Jesus fuck there's nothing coming out...

Have you forgotten about Deus Ex: Mankind Divided? There's also that Attack on Titan game.

Yeah, I forgot about Mankind Divided. I didn't forget about Attack on Titan though.

Yet again I can't watch this video, or any video, and the official support for the site has remained silent.

Does anybody mind telling me what the hell is wrong? Did they just say "nah, australians don't get to watch vids anymore, they get some old escapist trailer from 3 years ago."

 

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