No G.I. Joe For Movie Critics

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No G.I. Joe For Movie Critics

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Paramount is hedging its bets with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra by refusing to provide screenings for critics before the movie hits theaters.

It happens now and then. Movie studios make a film, realize they've got a big bag of stinkola on their hands and then do whatever they can to squeeze some box office receipts out of it before the bad word gets out. Gamers might recall that something similar occurred with Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, which was also kept away from critics, with good reason as it turned out.

So it might come as bad news to anyone hoping the new G.I. Joe flick will be a solid action romp that Paramount is making critics who want to see the movie fork over their cash along with everyone else on opening night. It's a "highly unusual move" for a big-budget film being positioned as a major summer blockbuster, according to the L.A. Times, particularly in light of the fact that as recently as last Thursday, the studio was telling critics that it would in fact be arranging advance screenings.

The film isn't being hidden from everyone; sites like Ain't-It-Cool-News, Hitflix, JoBlo, Dark Horizons and Chud - described as "the biggest fanboy websites" - have all been shown the film and have all given it very solid marks. But by keeping it out of the national spotlight and doing things like premiering it at Andrews Air Force Base and running ad campaigns in numerous small markets, the studio hopes that "flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans" will provide enough of an audience to turn it into a hit.

"Our starting point for this movie is not Hollywood and Manhattan but rather mid-America," said Paramount Vice Chairman Rob Moore. "There are a group of people we think are going to respond to the movie who are normally not the first priority. But we're making them a priority."

If he's right, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra could end up jockeying with fellow toy-and-cartoon movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for the 2009 box office crown. If not, well, we all know what happened with Snakes on a Plane. And knowing is half the battle!

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Bad movie alert! It's a bad movie alert! People are willing to go to movies when given expectations rather than feeling scorned by the people who made the movie. Word of mouth has a much more powerful form of influence than critics anyway.

EDIT: Well there is only one thing to do. Send in the Moviebob!

Did anyone expect this to be good anyway? ¬_¬

Well they obviously don't want critics to tell us how shite the film is.

Well..considering that I don't really see G.I. Joe ever being a big thing outside of the States...This movie is doomed to fail from the begining.

"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"

It's okay guys, you can say "idiots" now.
We're past this.

But yeah, thanks for telling us ahead of time that it sucks, Paramount.
Not like I was going to go see it anyway, but now those who were won't have to waste the money.

Well it is obvious it is going to be shit. There was never any doubt about that. But I am kind of happy they are keeping it away from critics. Critics are mostly worthless twats anyway so yeah, don't give them any special treatment. Let us rely on user reviews.

Doesn't this movie have Damon Wayans? For that fact alone, anybody who thought this movie was going to be good deserves a slap in the face. Damon Wayans: Failure.

There's an error in that article, but I won't point it out. Why? Why not? (It's near the top). God, am I one of the EscaGestapo now?

I was positive this was going to fail from day one anyway. G.I. Joe to my knowledge was never popular outside the states. However my friend liked the look of it, I didn't dignify his expressions of glee with a response.

Look kids, if the movie is afraid of an audience, the thing movies are supposed to entertain, then it obviously is just being made for the purpose of money, and it won't be any good.

Hey, we should put that in a G.I. Joe PSaaa..............oh wait, nevermind........

Wait, I don't remember a GI Joe named "Snow Job."

SendMeNoodz84:
Doesn't this movie have Damon Wayans? For that fact alone, anybody who thought this movie was going to be good deserves a slap in the face. Damon Wayans: Failure.

it's marlon, not damon. i'm not sure if that's higher or lower on the Wayans scale of bad acting.

Malygris:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"

I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free

no no no... its going to be worse than shit, because they have some stupid band singing: "I.. am.. AMERICAN BADASS"

it doesn't matter what movie it is, a terrible song like that means it's going to be one of the worst movies ever made.. but idiots still pay to go see it and perpetuate the cycle of crap hollywood churns out. Why spend money on a good story and dialogue when people pay to see mindless action and partially nude women (even tho they can get nude women online for free) XD

This movie was made by the guy who not only thought the world needed a movie like The Mummy, but then felt it required two sequels.

Isn't it a given that this will suck? From the commercials, it appears to be nothing mote than an 'obvious CGI shot' piece of crap. Note to the producer: Having the characters wear 'cool suits of armor so the CGI is less noticeable' doesn't work; it's insultingly easy to tell when it's being used.

dogstile:

Malygris:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"

I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free

Heh, thought you said "in the sky" first. Would be weird, suddenly seeing a huge screen in the sky showing the G.I Joe movie.

Malygris:
realize they've got a bag big of stinkola on their hands

Bag big of stinkola? :P

Yeah, not surprised. Generally when they refuse to show a film to critics it means it's shite.

iamq:

dogstile:

Malygris:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"

I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free

Heh, thought you said "in the sky" first. Would be weird, suddenly seeing a huge screen in the sky showing the G.I Joe movie.

nope, we should do that with a decent film though, one that lived up to everyones expectations

can anyone name one?

Still, maybe it's good move. Is it better if people are certain that it sucks, or are quite sure? Hell, it may even be a decent movie... Not.

The second they put on these "accelerator suits" they cease being GI Joes and are just The Accelerators.

I still have the old Rhino DVD of the original (I hate that I now have to call it the "original") G.I. Joe movie.

This movie is not Joe.

Yo Joe?

No.

The movie might turn out to be shit, but the one thing that will be worse than the movie is the game.

It's practically a law of nature.

Yup this basically means this movie's going to suck. That's what it always means. I'm still going to see it anyway.

Also they insulted Americans, ironically, because isn't G.I. Joe the greatest American Hero or something?

It could mean the movie is crap, or it could mean that the studio knows exactly how the critics are going to review and just have an attitude of "oh, why bother?"

There are just some movies that critics refuse to like, even if the only thing it pulls off is two hours of decent entertainment. This is one of those movies. It could be the greatest action film ever made, but if it ain't about the Holocaust or a big social issue, it's crap to them.

That's never a good sign. It's better to send it out and have it get crappy reviews from critics nobody believes than to practically admit that even you think it's bad.

If anybody actually expects this to be some deep meaningful movie with a serious plot, then you're off your rocker. It's another case of "Transformers Complex" where people are expecting far too much from a summer action movie. Go in, sit down, shut the fuck up, and watch some shit explode. That is all this movie is supposed to be, and anyone who expects it to be more has the relative IQ of a goat.

The very concept of a G.I. Joe Movie is horrific.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and flaps its wings like a duck, what do you do?

You make it so no critic can criticize your movie until after it's out, of course! Er, even though word of mouth is quickly going to show that the movie is awful.

Aww that's too bad I wanted this be a good movie..

Hey maybe it's so good they didn't want critics to see how good it was and we are all blown away by it

CantFaketheFunk:
Wait, I don't remember a GI Joe named "Snow Job."

So Monica Lewinsky makes her movie debut?

I knew it would be crap the second I saw the "accelerator suits" (Its power armor dammit!). Also, no one said "Hail Cobra!" in the trailer, I mean, wtf?

Considering movie critics tend to be hard on films based on former cartoons, games, comic books, basically anything not familiar with them, they tend to give it bad reviews. I hardly see a movie when it's in theaters anyways, but if I hear it's decent after the first couple of days, I might consider seeing it. I always liked G.I. Joe.

Doc Theta Sigma:
Did anyone expect this to be good anyway? ¬_¬

Yea I expect this to be borderline Transformers bad. But I'm going to watch it anyways.

Diablini:
The very concept of a G.I. Joe Movie is horrific.

Agreed, but I'll still probably see it 'cause there hasn't been much in the way of films out recently.

I thought it might have been good until I saw the darned suit thingies. Then I lost all hope in the movie.

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