Quit Smoking With MC Frontalot's D&D Ruleset

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Quit Smoking With MC Frontalot's D&D Ruleset

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According to MC Frontalot, it's much easier to quit smoking if you make a game out of it.

Quitting smoking is hard, but then so is bringing down a group of Mind Flayers. If they can be destroyed with a little effort, why not use the same ruleset to take down an addiction to cigarettes? That's just what MC Frontalot has done, the nerdcore rapper behind this awesome Zork song and many others that are inspired by topics such as videogames, otaku, and Penny Arcade.

MC Frontalot has developed the following "quit smoking" ruleset:

1. Name your character. Mine's Breathorr Inflatagon, a level 2 Lung Elf. You don't have to roll up stats. If you're a real stickler for form, go get your lungs x-rayed. The x-ray film is your character sheet.

2. Keep a d20 in your pack of cigarettes. If it doesn't fit, keep die, lighter, and pack together in some kind of totable container. May I suggest a pouch?

3. Whenever you feel like smoking, that means the GM (you) is trying to poison your character (also you). Time for a saving throw! I decided the DC (Difficulty Class) for my save vs Poison is 15. Roll the d20. 15 and up: I am saved from that cigarette I wanted! Hooray? 14 and under: oh darn, I get to enjoy another satisfying and flavorful cancer treat.

4. If you make the save, you really can't have a cigarette. Rolls have to be at least an hour apart. If you haven't rolled for two hours, that does not mean you get to roll twice. Be strict, or the GM Regulatory Cabal will revoke your authority. (I assume? I haven't GM'd since like 1988.)

5. Every day of the campaign, your Wisdom increases slightly. You're using Will to save against Poison, so increased Wis modifies in your favor (well, in your character's favor - your GM prefers that the poison attacks land). I'm using a mod of +1 for each day, so on day two rolls of 14 and up are successful saves, on day three it's 13 and up, etc. Fifteen days into the campaign, I will only be allowed to smoke when I roll a natural 1.

6. Rolling a natural 1, of course, is a critical fail. Thus, no matter how wise I get, I will always be able to sneak a cigarette if I can roll a 1. But after fifteen days I'm going to limit myself to one poisoning attempt per day, instead of one per waking hour. The game logic behind this is: fuck you, I do what I want.

MC Frontalot suggests making your own ruleset that works for your personal smoking volume and method, so don't be afraid to modify his a bit. I quit smoking on my own many years ago, but if I was still caught in the grip of the evil death-sticks I would be giving this game a try right away. Quitting for the sake of quitting is too easy to say no to, but when it appeals to the gamer instinct inside many of us it could become somewhat easier. After all, only a noob would lose at quitting smoking.

I would also strongly suggest visiting MC Frontalot's website if you're into hip-hop, rap, or whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. He's got plenty of free music available for download and it's good stuff.

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This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

I seriously don't imagine ANYONE doing that.

I think this wouldn't work for me, carrying around a d20 isn't something I usually do, so I would be very aware of it and thinking about it quite a lot.

Best way for me to quit is just not think about it, which does mean when I go out I can't just ignore it because a lot of people are smoking, which makes it the only time it's hard.
So I'll just buy another drink and sit with the "clean" people instead, thanks to the smoking ban.

Not that I've actually tried, this is just hypothetical planning.

"Phil, smoke break, come on!"

"Hang on... saving throw!!! ...sorry man, not right now."

"Why the fuck are you... is that... nevermind..."

Not a bad idea, to be honest, but I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone. So many people will just keep rolling until they hit a number they can smoke.

Why yes, I do narrate my throws in DnD. Why do you ask?

Warning: Still requires willpower.

Pretty smart, though. I lol'd reading this in a university computer lab and got some odd looks :D

Of course, the absolute best way to quit would be to never get started to begin with...

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

If it is a person of opposite sex you give them your most dashing look and say, "Charisma check, baby" then not only will you quit smoking, you get the girl as well.

Guestowel:

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

If it is a person of opposite sex you give them your most dashing look and say, "Charisma check, baby" then not only will you quit smoking, you get the girl as well.

And then you'll crit fail and be laughed out of the door, cigarette in hand.

Abedeus:
I seriously don't imagine ANYONE doing that.

No, same here...but, the ideas novel at least.

Awesome. I have a set of die for rolling on calls.

"Hmm, it's a level 5 IED, and I'm a level 7 EOD tech with a hydrajet. I rolled a 3, this is not the right tool for the job. PAN disrupter? 20! Critical disruption, this shit's gonna work colonel."

"Ahhh, um, is that the right way to decide what to do?"

"Look at the badge, look at the die, together, they only tell truth."

If I had ever started smoking I would totally adopt this method to quit, I habitually carry around dice with me now as it is.

GENIUS!

It's brilliant. But you could always just ignore the d20 results and smoke the cancer-stick anyway.

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

Wait... doesn't everyone carry their d&d dice on them at all times? Am I the only one?

:)

That's awesome, i play D&D with my father from time to time and he still enjoys the game as do i but he is always smoking through it, i know he wants to quit so i am going to suggest this to him and see what he says.

That's funny.
D&D is how I got into smoking.
Mind you I'm not talking about cigarettes.
Rather: I'm not talking about cigarettes made with tobacco.

I've so got to try this. I've been thinking about taking a time-out (one never really quits, it's just abstaining for an undefined period of time) and this might make the effort somewhat fun.

Actually, you could use that for any kind of addiction. Like relentless, that stuff is dangerous to me. If I did this, then it would help out. I may end up becoming a serious gambler by mistake though...

Wow, man I love MC Frontalot. This is a just genius.

AUTOBEAT ALLIES!

question: what edition are we using for this?

GonzoGamer:
That's funny.
D&D is how I got into smoking.
Mind you I'm not talking about cigarettes.
Rather: I'm not talking about cigarettes made with tobacco.

Hmm... I'm going to start rolling for poison damage when I smoke now. 15+ is bong hits, below is a toke of the one-hitter. Crit-fail, I throw the dice in the trash and roll a joint.

OT If I were trying to quit tobacco cigs this would be a great idea I think. It would certainly make you more self-conscious of your habit.

The best way to quit smoking - is to rage quit smoking.

Sorry...we were talking about games and I just...I had to.

Kinda similar to the Nintendo DS game to help you quit smoking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A64QJrjOQCY

Didn't wanna bother BB-Coding it >.>

I like this idea. Kinda makes me wish I smoked just so I could try this method of quitting. ;)

One could make a mini character sheet (trading card-sized) that would fit inside the cellophane wrapper around the smokes, maybe use the lung x-ray for the character pic. And one could use a d20 from Chessex's Nebula dice sets, http://bit.ly/oOkbd, they look like they have curls of smoke inside them.

Nerd Ho!

Maxwell -EOD-:
Awesome. I have a set of die for rolling on calls.

"Hmm, it's a level 5 IED, and I'm a level 7 EOD tech with a hydrajet. I rolled a 3, this is not the right tool for the job. PAN disrupter? 20! Critical disruption, this shit's gonna work colonel."

"Ahhh, um, is that the right way to decide what to do?"

"Look at the badge, look at the die, together, they only tell truth."

I dunno what you just said but it gave me a Nerderection.

TsunamiWombat:

Maxwell -EOD-:
Awesome. I have a set of die for rolling on calls.

"Hmm, it's a level 5 IED, and I'm a level 7 EOD tech with a hydrajet. I rolled a 3, this is not the right tool for the job. PAN disrupter? 20! Critical disruption, this shit's gonna work colonel."

"Ahhh, um, is that the right way to decide what to do?"

"Look at the badge, look at the die, together, they only tell truth."

I dunno what you just said but it gave me a Nerderection.

Now, I feel like a whore. Is it wrong I like it?

Ha!

"You know, I was gonna give up smoking, then I decided not to because I'm not a quitter!"-Ed Byrne.

Still, it's a pretty good idea. What better way to impliment arbitrary rules than a d20 ruleset?

Guestowel:

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

If it is a person of opposite sex you give them your most dashing look and say, "Charisma check, baby" then not only will you quit smoking, you get the girl as well.

Yeah, a d20 is an awesome social lubricant. I use it all the time :D
Of course rolling an epic fail does cost me the date since then I have to kill her, but chances are chances after all...

That is actually a very good idea. If I ever start smoking, I will be prepared: I carry a dice bag almost everywhere I go!

GreyWolf257:
That is actually a very good idea. If I ever start smoking, I will be prepared: I carry a dice bag almost everywhere I go!

A whole bag? Then you'll not only roll for chance but roll for damage too. 4d6 head-bang-into-wall (or some alternate but equally painful punishment) on each failed poison check, before or after smoking. Of course with this method, you'll have to smoke when you fail, and do the punishment too. That way, you'll associate smoking with pain and uncomfortable stuff instead of relaxation (the most cited reason smokers smoke).

Playbahnosh:

GreyWolf257:
That is actually a very good idea. If I ever start smoking, I will be prepared: I carry a dice bag almost everywhere I go!

A whole bag? Then you'll not only roll for chance but roll for damage too. 4d6 head-bang-into-wall (or some alternate but equally painful punishment) on each failed poison check, before or after smoking. Of course with this method, you'll have to smoke when you fail, and do the punishment too. That way, you'll associate smoking with pain and uncomfortable stuff instead of relaxation (the most cited reason smokers smoke).

Yeah, roll 2d4 for the number of cups of blood that you are required to shed. Roll a 2d12 for the number of times you have to punch yourself in the crotch. I'm pretty sure I would never smoke again after that.

GreyWolf257:

Playbahnosh:

GreyWolf257:
That is actually a very good idea. If I ever start smoking, I will be prepared: I carry a dice bag almost everywhere I go!

A whole bag? Then you'll not only roll for chance but roll for damage too. 4d6 head-bang-into-wall (or some alternate but equally painful punishment) on each failed poison check, before or after smoking. Of course with this method, you'll have to smoke when you fail, and do the punishment too. That way, you'll associate smoking with pain and uncomfortable stuff instead of relaxation (the most cited reason smokers smoke).

Yeah, roll 2d4 for the number of cups of blood that you are required to shed. Roll a 2d12 for the number of times you have to punch yourself in the crotch. I'm pretty sure I would never smoke again after that.

That's the idea, yes. If you assign bad thoughts and uncomfortableness to smoking, after some time you won't even want to do it, because smoking will not remind you of how awesome it is, it will remind you of how utterly bad or painful it is. Yea, 4d6 crotch-punches before every smoke will surely make you think twice before your next fix. And of course there is the other way...

Alan Carr's method involves concentrating on the other side. Most people tries to quit smoking by gathering reasons why smoking is bad for them, like it causes cancer, bad breath, loss of stamina...etc. Carr's method does not concentrate on why smoking is bad, it concentrates on why not smoking is good. People addicted to smoking are not so much addicted to nicotine or the cigarette itself, but rather the imagined benefits they get from smoking, like "it relaxes me/calms me down", "it's a good timewaster/conversation starter/social lubricant" or simply "it's hip/cool". Long time addicts don't even need reasons, because they've been smoking so long, they got so used to it they forgot why they do it in the first place, they smoke "just because". By turning the tables around, we change our perception of smoking. Concentrate on why not smoking is better, like "I'll have more money", "my sense of taste and smell will come back", "I'll be able to enjoy long activities without needing a smoke", "I'll have more stamina and be more healthy overall", "I won't cough up black crap from my lungs in the morning"...etc. Do not concentrate on what you are losing by quitting, concentrate on what you are winning.

I haven't tried it, but I heard from a lot of people that it actually works. Now we just have to combine that with a d20, and it'll be the EPIC way of quitting smoking. :D

Kalezian:
question: what edition are we using for this?

Not that it really matters, but since he mentions Will saves and Wisdom modifiers thereto, it's clearly 3rd edition. Possibly 4ed, not sure what they use there.

George Palmer:

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

Wait... doesn't everyone carry their d&d dice on them at all times? Am I the only one?

:)

You're not alone. After seeing how perilous the world outside can be for the unprepared, I decided to properly equip myself.

I usually have to explain the random die when fishing for exact change.

Most bad-ass rapper + d20 system (non 4 point 0) + living longer to enjoy both = winz

I am most amused. :)

And I especially like the Natural 1.

George Palmer:

Spacelord:
This actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. :) Then again I'll have to explain to everyone why I brought a d20 to the pub...

Wait... doesn't everyone carry their d&d dice on them at all times? Am I the only one?

:)

I actually have a dice rolling app on my iPhone. Need to roll 2d30+5? I'm your man.

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