Prison Escapee Continues to Update Facebook

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Prison Escapee Continues to Update Facebook

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The first thing on this escaped convict's mind is to make himself as known as possible through Facebook, even while he's evading police.

If I was to ever escape from this prison that I write news from, my primary goal would be to stay off the grid until I could prove that I was framed in that marshmallow incident years ago. To the contrary, staying off the grid is exactly what escaped convict Craig "Lazie" Lynch is not doing. He was able to elude his captors at Hollesley Bay, an open prison near Suffolk in eastern England, back in September, and has been constantly updating his Facebook page ever since.

As with anything like this, there's the possibility that it's a fake, but this seems unlikely. What's more likely is that Lynch really is this dumb. According to BBC News, the 28-year old idiot was serving 7 years in prison for aggravated burglary and was in an open prison because he was near the end of his sentence, where day release was allowed. Day release doesn't seem like such a great idea in this case.

Lynch's updates range from completely moronic to somewhat foolish, including the recent "I'M NOT ANTI POLICE, I JUST HATE THE C*NTS." What a charming young man. Even Lynch feels that "Myspace is lame..." (the only reasonable thing he's posted) and he says he's still "Trying to figure out my plans for New Years. I know what I want to do but its not that easy." How about going back to jail and finishing your sentence you dope?

Humanity has again failed in this case, with some people actually supporting Lynch's escapades by wishing him luck and such. As of this writing, his Facebook page had over 27,000 fans. I think I want to cry.

Police are working with Facebook to see if they can pinpoint where Lynch is located, but it isn't getting any easier now that he knows they're on to him. What most likely will happen is that someone will recognize Lynch through Facebook as this story makes its rounds, which would be awesome. If you know Lynch, contact Suffolk police and get this irrelevant doofus put back where he belongs. I really hate this guy.

(Via: cnet)

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Oh nice, he gave me the finger.

Heh.
Haha.
HAHAHAHA.

Stupid people are funny

EDIT: He says he's 'really gonna piss them off' (meaning the cops).
I want to see what he does
EDIT2: After some skulking around, I noticed he plays Mafia Wars.
Big surprise

Well, I suppose that's one way to speed up your re-capture.
*Readies a net* Oh, I'm not in Suffolk. *puts net away*

oh dear oh dear, humanities stupidity never ceases to amaze...

Do not worry, Captain Unintelliegence has a Facebook...

If he was so close to leaving prison, why would he escape, he's probably going to get more time.
And why make a Facebook page that could possibly tell your location...

...Is it too much to ask for a link :P ?

If ever there was a damning inditement on celebrities, bureaucracy and social websites, he would be the posterchild.

What makes me super-sad is that Facebook aren't working with the Police, a simple IP check followed by an ISP followup would give you where the idiot is.

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Sheriff John Bunnel:
An escaped prisoner is on the run from the police. Miraculously, he finds time to keep his Facebook page updated. A picture, found on the site finally leads police to his hideout. The next photo update on his page is going to be a mug shot - from jail.

Wow this guy is either incredibly stupid or just a real dick (or both).

I actually find this guy hilarious. He's stupid, belligerent, nonsensical and ultimately going to get kicked in the head for "resisting arrest" but he is doing something most of us have wanted to do at least once in our lives sitting on the side of the road wondering why with all the other people going over the speed limit around you you ended up being the one that was singled out.

Personally I kind of want the guy to get away. I know that ultimately that won't happen and won't shed a single tear if it does but when you think about it what he's doing now is relatively harmless. Giving the finger to the cops and basically taunting them isn't the same as some of the really nasty things that get done to them on a regular basis. Since he was getting ready to leave anyway I'd basically cut the search for him off to the most passive glances at his facebook and tell nobody. Let him sit there and worry that the next car that pulls him over is going to be the one that takes him back to prison. Let him try and hook up with chicks over the internet fearing that it's the fuzz trying to nab him. Sooner or later he'll either mess up or he'll disappear completely both of which would have happened anyway when he was released. As it stands a lot of money is being wasted on a man who is essentially just a loud mouthed braggard going "HA HA! I escaped from your easily escapeable prison with my immaculate genius! Eat me!"

Is this more a testament to how stupid this guy is or of how under-supplied the police are? Shouldn't they have been able to trace this sooner without letting the guy know they were on to him? Admittedly I am no expert on this stuff, but one would figure it cant be THAT hard....

Also, this makes me think one other thing? What ever happened to Metal Gear Solid box prisoner, the one that Escapist reported on a few months back?

EDIT: this guy http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94596-Prisoner-Uses-Metal-Gears-Cardboard-Box-to-Escape

I really want to hit him. Seriously.

I think that guy should pe put in a psychiatric clinic instead of a prison.

This is quite hilarious and essentially harmless, I'd imagine the reason he hasn't been caught yet is due to the police not being very bothered with some small time crook who got away when his sentence was basically over, the force seems underfunded and overworked as it is, though with all the attention and interest he's attracting they'll probably crack down on him sooner or later.

I think I'll go join his FB page too, just to piss of the articles author. He comes across as a right prick.

Wow, he looks hard. And by hard I mean like human fucking scum.

CaptainCrunch:
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Sheriff John Bunnel:
An escaped prisoner is on the run from the police. Miraculously, he finds time to keep his Facebook page updated. A picture, found on the site finally leads police to his hideout. The next photo update on his page is going to be a mug shot - from jail.

rofl....the worse thing is, this is ACTUALLY what he would say

unless that is a genuine quote

Are you people kidding? The idiots in this story are the police and the British penal system, not the facebook guy.

One day the guy just seemed to walk out of prison and no one knows where to find him despite his near constant contact with his former incarceraters and the rest of the planet, and the only way the cops seem to be able to find him is to contact facebook, a multi-national organization with millions of users in the hope of pinpointing the location of ONE user, which is probably fucking impossible. Why would Facebook even give a fuck. How could they even give a fuck, how do you pinpoint someone through facebook? AND HE'S STILL FREE!!

How is it you guys think he's dumb. He escaped prison and then flips the prison system the bird everyday, and he's been doing it for 4 months.

This guy is not stupid, or at least, not the stupidest person on the case. For shame England, for shame.

FirstToStrike:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.

Racist ass.

When you thought people couldn't get any stupider.....

Stupid people are funny! Also people fan and support this crap? He's an escaped convict you fucking retards!

Cryo84R:

FirstToStrike:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.

Racist ass.

Are you implying that all of america is populated by only a single race?

What a stupid man. I wholeheartedly condemn him.

...

*joins* Go you crazy bastard go.

TitsMcGee1804:

/Sheriff John Bunnell

rofl....the worse thing is, this is ACTUALLY what he would say

unless that is a genuine quote

I don't think they caught the guy yet, and the esteemed Sheriff usually doesn't catch wind of stuff until about 5 years later. My buddies and I used to watch television ads, re-writing the dialogue as though he was presenting instead. It's just for fun.

Sheriff John Bunnel:
Clinically stupid guy Jason McAverage can't figure out how to use a scarf. As he evades police, he struggles with his coat, trying to stay warm. His equally stupid wife, Cindy, is always getting her scarf caught in things. If you've seen Jason or Cindy McAverage, call you local sheriff's department, or at least give them a Necky. Officers are counting on you to help collar these crooks before the trail gets cold.

Cryo84R:

FirstToStrike:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.

Racist ass.

I am American, don't assume that I'm not just because I don't like some of our citizens.

Asehujiko:

Cryo84R:

FirstToStrike:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.

Racist ass.

Are you implying that all of america is populated by only a single race?

No, I'm not.

Social networking - yay?

the police should block facebook in the prisons, thus forcing them to go on twitter, imagine how fast he would have been caught.

"escaping prison, [email protected]"
"god theres so much traffic at 5th street"
"going in for for some joe!"
"Toms at 54a, 5th street = best coffee ever!!"

and the world would be a better place.

tom i think i want to cry also

Tom Goldman:
If I was to ever escape from this prison that I write news from, my primary goal would be to stay off the grid until I could prove that I was framed in that marshmallow incident years ago

... and that it was the guy with the prosthetic arm.

Great job at increasing your noteriety mate.

Cryo84R:

FirstToStrike:
I was surprised that this didn't come out of America, I'm not anti country, just think that people that come from america are idiots, like that woman who called 911 because McDonalds was out of Chicken McNuggets.

Racist ass.

Ah ah ah... Nationalist! Ass.

Rebut, but do it with correct context. :D

Okay pointless correction is pointless but... still, those who use the word racist too flippantly without really giving it thought really shouldn't...

Nationalist: Person who is 'prejudice'(not necissarily intolerant) against those not of their own Nation/Country.
Racist: Person who is prejudice/usually intolerant of those with differing Ethnic Background/Skin colour pigmintation.

Okay! And stupid man. Really. Just serve the sentence, this just makes it worse.
If he really does have proof out there that he didn't do it, good luck to him but I don't think this was worth that.

I'm sure his last update will be "LOL stupid cops at my door. Sorry guys, not gonna answerrr"

how could anyone be that stupid? any one else think this is for Dante's Inferno? maybe sullen(having very bad humor, most of the time making fun of the dead)? I just don't see how anyone could be this stupid.

CloggedDonkey:
how could anyone be that stupid? any one else think this is for Dante's Inferno? maybe sullen(having very bad humor, most of the time making fun of the dead)? I just don't see how anyone could be this stupid.

Indeedie - he's just lucky the police didn't expect anyone to be that stupid either, or they'd probably being watching his facebook account to see where he logs in from.

And no, its not for Dante's Inferno - EA maybe many things, but I doubt they could convince the police to pretend for their sake.

wow, he is the definition of retarded, who does that, it's almost as if he wants to get caught, though running away near the end of your sentence is probably dumber than FB

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