Chuck Norris Botnet Uses Fists To Break Routers

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Chuck Norris Botnet Uses Fists To Break Routers

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A botnet named after Chuck Norris has been using roundhouse kicks and password guessing to take control of your router, and steal your girlfriend.

Researchers in the Czech Republic have discovered a piece of malware that has been taking control of routers with the Linux operating system. Masaryk University's Institute of Computer Science in Brno, Czech Republic, dubbed the malware and its botnet after the American martial artist because of a line of code in it which reads, "in nome di Chuck Norris." In Italian, that means "In the name of Chuck Norris." The malware is able to install itself on routers by guessing the admin passwords of D-Link brand modems and then using the remote access "feature" to redirect your internet traffic to malicious websites.

We all know that Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter, and that when he does a push up, he's actually pushing the Earth down. But he's also apparently a hacker who can take control of your router by reading your mind, especially if you never changed the password on your router from the default.

My theory is that Chuck Norris got bored with beating up people in real life, and that he stared at a computer long enough to copy himself into the Internet. Along the way, he beat up The Lawnmower Man and Tron's MCP, two virtual entities who had eluded his fists for years, before turning his attention to your router.

Jan Vykopal, the head of the network security department with Masaryk University, said that even though Chuck Norris is nigh impossible to defeat in hand-to-hand combat, you can at least delay his attacks on your router by making sure your passwords are strong. And please, change it from "admin."

Once Chuck Norris is installed though, the only way he can be killed is by placing three drops of Chuck Norris' tears on your router. Either that, or you can restart it, erasing Chuck from the device's RAM.

For now...

Source: PCWorld

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Well, now that Chuck Norris is on the internet, I'm guessing that it, along with The Escapist, isn't going to survive for much longer.

So long, world!

Heh... So glad that he won't be on mine... he's have to replace my router from the inside out to affect mine...
Still, funny that this is 'In the name of Chuck Norris'. That was a good one.
It now has a reputation to uphold...

Oh shit here come the Chuck Norris facts...must...resist...CRUSH ROCK IN!

This is malware, so I'm so sure why I want to say "AWESOME!!"

God...

I am so fsking sick of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

I HATE Chuck Norris. Especially after Conan's stupid lever thing:

That's right! I'm Team Leno!

I noes! Meh. who uses Linux anyway. Only crazy folkm that's who.

Chuck Norris vs. 4Chan
Coming soon to theatres :D:

Onyx Oblivion:
Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

all glory to the hypnotoad...

Awesomely named lol

Silk_Sk:
Oh shit here come the Chuck Norris facts...must...resist...CRUSH ROCK IN!

Ngggggnnn....!!!

WhenChuckNorristakesabath,hedoesn'tgetwet,thewatergetsChuckNorris.

A news story jam packed with Chuck Norris jokes.
What is the world coming to?

The Chuck Norris meme is so overdone.

The Harbinger meme is the new - ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

Aptspire:
Chuck Norris vs. 4Chan
Coming soon to theatres :D:

Who ever raffs, we ruse.

You know... I think that people who make these viruses and spyware and such, just for the hell of it, should have all their fingers broken with a hammer on a bed of shard of glass coated with clorox and mud. (Not the ones who do it for money though, at least those guys are assh*les with a purpose).What do they get now, a fifty dollar fine or something, well that bamboozles me, and i think they deserve a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to a part of their body of our choosing.
O.T. What also bamboozles me, is when i spelled bamboozles 'bamboozels" the spell checker actually had the right option. Wow, my name is a spelling error, but Bamboozles isn't? That just bamboo- you get the idea.

now THAT is effing hilarious. the chuck virus of awesomeness. it will use a combo of Falcon Punches, Weegee Kicks and Roundhouse Kicks to destroy your Router.

Luckily im plugged straigt into the wall from the only connection in my house. No one is hogging MY bandwidth.

Onyx Oblivion:
Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

I HATE Chuck Norris. Especially after Conan's stupid lever thing:

That's right! I'm Team Leno!

Onyx, you know it. the virus is gonna go for your router and install a permanent face of Chuck Norris on every net page hypnotizing you and killing the hypno toad.

Chuck Norris jokes are unfunny and annoying. Just like malware.

I don't use dlink or linux so I should be safe.

AvsJoe:

Onyx Oblivion:
Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

all glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

Nowhere is safe..

Well we're fucked now. But all glory be going to the hypnotoad.

Well, needless to say I'll be keeping an eye on my router. And my house keys.

scifidownbeat:
The Chuck Norris meme is so overdone.

The Harbinger meme is the new - ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

I can't fall into this again, I spent all freaking day thinki-- I WILL HANDLE THIS PERSONALLY.

Is this a joke or something? Has my sense of humour temporarily jumped out the window because I don't get it. Also. All glory be going to the hypnotoad.

I wonder.. If I pray to Chuck Norris (I usually do so anyways, every Thursday) will he let me be? Or is that going to the limit of his mercy?

Well, that was unexpected. *Insert Chuck Norris joke here*

Sparrow:
Well, needless to say I'll be keeping an eye on my router. And my house keys.

scifidownbeat:
The Chuck Norris meme is so overdone.

The Harbinger meme is the new - ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

I can't fall into this again, I spent all freaking day thinki-- I WILL HANDLE THIS PERSONALLY.

Please, your all just weak minde- I'LL SHOW YOU TRUE POWER

BlueTomfoolery:

AvsJoe:

Onyx Oblivion:
Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

all glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

reg42:
This is malware, so I'm so sure why I want to say "AWESOME!!"

Me either. I guess every-thing's just better with Chuck Norris even being mentioned in it.

Lame modified CN joke incoming: Chuck Norris doesn't surf the internet; the internet actually moves arund him until he's where he wants to be.

Simalacrum:

BlueTomfoolery:

AvsJoe:
all glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!...

BlueTomfoolery:

AvsJoe:

Onyx Oblivion:
Chuck Norris isn't actually god, people. The only Chuck Norris fact that is true is the fist-under-beard.

all glory to the hypnotoad...

All glory to the hypnotoad...

All Glory to the low-quality compressed Hypnotoad

OT: HA! Now I have a way to beat Chuck! We've got him cornered, lads!

*dons tinfoil hat and jacket of coathangers*

Ha Ha, somebody's a fan of chuck norris apperanlty, anway, for safety reasones everybody should turn off there moniter, To avoid Chuck Norris punching you thru your screebfhbnvkv

Chuck Norris let Al Gore invent the internet

Slow news day?

Anyhow, we all know Saxton Hale kicks the shit out of Chuck Norris.

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