Brace Yourself for the Boobquake!

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 NEXT
 

Brace Yourself for the Boobquake!

image

Today is the day for Boobquake, an effort by women around the world to bring about the apocalyptic end of life as we know it with the magical power of their boobs - or, conversely, to make Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi look like one.

Sedighi, a "senior Iranian cleric," said last week that immodest women were to blame for the increase of devastating earthquakes around the world. "Many women who do not dress modestly... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes," he claimed. "What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble? There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam's moral codes."

Despite Sedighi's iron-clad logic, one woman has chosen to tempt fate: Jennifer McCreight, who launched a "Boobquake" Facebook page in order to encourage the world's floozies, hoochies and other women of low moral fiber to show off their cleavage in hopes of sparking the Boobquake. Women who feel their greatest assets are located elsewhere on their bodies are invited to wear skimpy shorts instead.

And don't get the idea that this is just some kind of funny Facebook stunt meant to make some Iranian wacko look like a nutjob, either: This is serious science! "I fully plan on doing some statistics after the event," McCreight wrote on the Boobquake page. "I know many earthquakes happen on a daily basis, so we're looking to see if Boobquake significantly increases the number or severity of earthquakes. Or if an earthquake strikes West Lafayette, IN and only kills me, that may be good evidence of God's wrath as well." If it's decided in peer review that a larger sample size is required for scientific validity, she added, she may also factor Mardi Gras into her calculations.

Boobquake is scheduled to take place today, April 26, and thus far more than 200,000 people have signed up as "confirmed guests" for the event. You ladies out there who might feel that this event is inappropriate or embarrassing somehow, bear in mind that this is for science, and the advancement of academia is never something to be ashamed of. So step up and do your part!

Of course, should Boobquake fail to launch the apocalyptic tremors predicted by Sedighi, McCreight expressed confidence that he'll have a perfectly rational explanation for why civilization failed to end, which may or may not include a discussion of plate tectonics.

(photo)

Permalink

A pointless endeavor. Everyone knows Earthquakes are caused by NASA.

Well... I'd take part in this... apart from the part involving lack of modesty...
So yeah. I think I'll stay fully clothed. But I'll give my vocal support.
Nothing, not even science, can get me to remove any of my clothing...
Or even show cleavage. I'm going to stay in my all-covering clothes.
Despite how horribly warm it is now getting here...

Okay..... there should be T-Shirts commemorating this event. Do want.

Get yer T**s out

For science

I am just totally bamboozled (BAMBOOZLED!!!) at that cleric's reasoning.

BAMBOOZLED I SAY!

Mumorpuger:
Okay..... there should be T-Shirts commemorating this event. Do want.

Fuck T-shirts, I want video evidence.

In HD, with a highlights reel of the err... best "earthquake-inducing" breasts.

Eh, not much of a boob person myself.

Still, that's an...interesting way of going about things.

Boobquake.

Really?

This is just silly. Earthquakes are caused by NINJAS.

Hur...Hurr...Nothing witty to say here guys.

Just Boobs.

Hurr.

That girl in the picture is cute.

awwwwwwwwww man, I was expecting a bad troll :(

those thing make me laugh out of pity

Definatly something that's gonna be interesting. I can only imagine the crazy religous person calling the cops in the middle of this just because there walking by it and not even gonna stay by like whatever area this thing's going on in. >___>
If your not gonna particapte, or care for that matter, kindly vacate the premisise, don't ruin it for everyone else. kthxbai

I AM CREATING A FACEBOOK PAGE TO SUPPORT THIS RIGHT NOW!

Well...isn't as stupid as Chavez saying the Hati Earth quake was done by a American Earthquake machine... Our super secret earth quake cannon...

Must be that one Porn chick with the 52 triple G's... I knew she could destroy nations with those things.

I'm surprised that they're being allowed to do this so publicly, they're absically jamming two fingers up at the islamic religion and one of its' leaders. Good on 'em, this kind of thing is easy to disprove and no one should get to pretend it is fact because we're afraid of offending them but still, surprising.

Oh, and needless to say I lol'd.

What? Thats.... just... odd....

Well its their decision and since its for science.

Bad Science, bad you were wrong... religion had it right from the beginning, earthquakes are caused by low moral fiber, not but tectonic plaques moving over a sea of lava. why would you do such a thing science, you liar

if you missed it, I relly need a SARCASM sign

And thus it is further proved that Science is running out of things to do.

Ah well, at least this one doesn't involve testing to see if Penguins cause Homicidal thoughts, and should end up making Hojatoleslam (Thank you Copy-Paste) look like a Fool.

Carlston:
Must be that one Porn chick with the 52 triple G's... I knew she could destroy nations with those things.

See! that's what I've been saying, but no one believed me!

Shit, move to the desert.

FUCK

I had to choose this day, this very day, when cleavage would be in abundance, to become sick and require staying at home all day!

Goddammit...

..I am officially stunned, stunned at the logic of that individual. Clearly, we must shut down the big-breasted section of porn, as they are clearly responsible for nature's destructive nature upon us! Who knew!?

However! I am completely, and utterly in support of this campaign. PLZTHXBAI

neoman10:
awwwwwwwwww man, I was expecting a bad troll :(

those thing make me laugh out of pity

You got one, that cleric is nothing but a troll. Using something as stupid as his assertions is just another example of escapegoatism.
I fully endorse this endeavour, and look forward to the results. Photos of the event would be appreciated as well. <.< >.> Uh, for science of course.

Oh for fuck sakes, THAT'S what it was all about? I had no idea what Boobquake was, and I didn't care enough to look it up. I didn't realize it was related to the theory about women causing Earthquakes by dressing like skanks. Should have put it together, but I've been... distracted.

thenumberthirteen:
A pointless endeavor. Everyone knows Earthquakes are caused by NASA.

Oh? How do they do it?

Well it is certainly unique that is for sure...heh.

Should be fun for the entrants XD

This is one of the funniest things I read today. Not only because of the idiocy of the cleric.

But because someone is actually willing to do the work (albeit said work involves skimpy clothing and traffic accident causing tight t-shirts) to prove him wrong.

I had a good laugh at this, as it is proof n-one in the Western world cares about religion. We've all become Egoists.

What's the cause of earthquakes?

Surely a 'your momma's so fat' joke explains everything?

Yes, I'm talking about your mum

Wait, what? They're using breasts... For science? Y'know what, no. No amount of money is going to be able to get me out of my clothing, not even for science.

Andy Chalk:
Brace Yourself for the Boobquake!

Or if an earthquake strikes West Lafayette, IN and only kills me, that may be good evidence of God's wrath as well." If it's decided in peer review that a larger sample size is required for scientific validity, she added, she may also factor Mardi Gras into her calculations.

Permalink

HOLY SHIT, I live in West Lafayette, Indiana!!(as you can tell by my avatar's Purdue hoodie) Am I going to die in a boobquake? (please? ;) )

EDIT: LOL, that picture was taken at the Purdue belltower, I've been there many times.

I choked on my water a bit when I saw this. Can we please get more religious leaders around the world to claim that boobs are the cause of catastrophes? For science, of course.

Space Cowgirl:
Wait, what? They're using breasts... For science? Y'know what, no. No amount of money is going to be able to get me out of my clothing, not even for science.

But... but... Science!

What is this, I don't even

The dude is clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic; how the fuck does sex cause earthquakes? And how does switching religions stop earthquakes? Because of course primarily Islamic countries like Iran don't ever get earthquakes.

I was honestly expecting something corny, yet hilarious. I guess I got that, but not as I was expecting.

Mackheath:
I had a good laugh at this, as it is proof n-one in the Western world cares about religion. We've all become Egoists.

Denouncing religion doesn't automatically make you self centred. It's not like the faithful have the monopoly on charity and good will, just as they are not the sole cause of evil.

 Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here