WiiWare's My Fireplace is a Game About a Fireplace

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WiiWare's My Fireplace is a Game About a Fireplace

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If you really want a fireplace, but don't have a fireplace, it's time to pretend you have a fireplace with My Fireplace.

After a scandalous reveal through an ESRB rating, Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L. have officially announced the future release of My Fireplace as a download on Nintendo's WiiWare service. What is My Fireplace? It's a game that hyper-realistically simulates a fireplace. It doesn't do anything else really.

In My Fireplace, virtual wood serves as virtual fuel for virtual fire. Some may say that the only purpose of a fireplace is to provide heat, and that because My Fireplace cannot do so it must be a useless piece of software. Those people don't appreciate the aesthetic value of a fireplace, or the fun a fireplace can provide. My Fireplace will bring with it plenty of virtual heat, which the hot would say is much better than actual heat anyway.

Statistics show that trillions of people die in fireplace-related accidents each year. With My Fireplace, players can enjoy a fire without burning their houses down. They'll prepare the wood, light it, and then stoke it. Stoke like a maniac, or choose the automatic option if you don't want to be troubled by the upkeep of a virtual fire. Due to My Fireplace's realistic graphics, players will likely never choose the automatic action as they won't be able to break their gazes away from the television set.

According to Korner Entertainment, My Fireplace will "surprise you" and has "fireplaces for every occasion completely configurable by every kind of user." Decorate your fire with "Love" or "Christmas" themes and watch the whole dynamic of the once fireplace-less room change for the better.

Does this sound like something anyone would actually want yet? I get the whole aquarium thing on WiiWare or as a screensaver, because users can customize it with unique fish and such. But a fireplace? Real fires can be fun to watch and mess with (but not for kids, kids), but virtual fires sound boring as hell (a hell without fire).

My Fireplace will light WiiWare on fire sometime this year. Get it, fire? Like in the fireplace. Fire is in a fireplace. Forget it.

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I remember seeing a PC game about a fireplace. As well as tv shows. Lots of people love watching fireplaces.

DO WANT.

This game is HOT

If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Why buy this when you can wait for the Christmas season and just record the Yule Log channel and play it back whenever? Seems like a waste of money. I hope the developers didn't spend too much time on this.

So pretty much that Fireplace TV station I keep seeing in Christmas Movies? Except with 'Decoration'?

Bah! I'll wait to have a real Fireplace again.

why would they make this?

Didn't they release this before, or didn't someone release something like this before? And didn't it bomb horribly?

Too bad it's not on the 360; then you could go and warm up by it while the game loaded up for the ultimate virtual fireplace! Zing!

Wait, is it the 360 that gets really hot when it loads, or is it the one with a really strong fan to counteract that? Maybe it was the older PS3's that got really hot; or maybe it is the Wii that gets hot. I should really learn to distinguish between consoles...

"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo Korner[1], I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l
Best of luck, though, hopefully it goes over with others better than it did with me.

[1] Cheers, Aura!

Check it out guys: I have an actual wood fireplace beside my TV! So I can play Wii and have a real fire, providing real heat. At the same time.

Generator:
Too bad it's not on the 360; then you could go and warm up by it while the game loaded up for the ultimate virtual fireplace! Zing!

Check the Indie Games out yet? Someone did make a virtual fireplace thing to download.

zzzz.....

zzzzzz.....

JRCB:
Check it out guys: I have an actual wood fireplace beside my TV! So I can play Wii and have a real fire, providing real heat. At the same time.

WHAT THE-
You mean there's real fire?

Oh boy, I've gotta see this for myself!

Generator:
Lesson in 360's fan coming up whether you want it or not

The fan on a 360 sucks.
It fails to keep it cool, I could make toast off the back of my old one onside of 30 minutes use if I wanted to and it's really loud. The Elites have better fans but they are still REALLY LOUD!
Anyway...

OT: I can see this selling really, really, really badly.
It will crash and burn.
... ... ...
I would make a better joke but Mr. Goldman took them all.
Plus I don't know any.

This reminds me of the Yule channel I turn on during Christmas to avoid having to light a real fire. Will this fireplace come with little ditties? And how on earth am I going to burn those old manuscripts and books with a virtual fire?

I can see the appeal for Japanese audiences, many of whom live in tight city apartment blocks and will never see the light of a real fire place. And old people that live in warmer climates. Fireplaces can be tranquil and mood-setting.

Hazy:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l

SnootyEnglishman:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.

Sassafrass:

Generator:
Lesson in 360's fan coming up whether you want it or not

The fan on a 360 sucks.
It fails to keep it cool, I could make toast off the back of my old one onside of 30 minutes use if I wanted to and it's really loud. The Elites have better fans but they are still REALLY LOUD!

Hmm... Well, thanks very much for the edumucation. Actually, now that you mention it, I think it was the loudness of the 360 that I was thinking of, but if the fan sucks, then my joke still works, so yay!

Aura Guardian:

Hazy:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l

SnootyEnglishman:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.

It's in WiiWare under the Nintendo license which means that Nintendo would have to okay the idea so it could be sold.

So can I throw other assorted animated things into it?

No?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT IF I CAN'T BURN STUFF!?

The_Healer:
So can I throw other assorted animated things into it?

No?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT IF I CAN'T BURN STUFF!?

Expecting to do violent things? On the Wii? What a crazy idea! Don't you know that it is a family platform?

Perfect for Christmas time. Obviously it'll be out mid-December.

SnootyEnglishman:

Aura Guardian:

Hazy:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l

SnootyEnglishman:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.

It's in WiiWare under the Nintendo license which means that Nintendo would have to okay the idea so it could be sold.

While true, Like my previous post. A lot of people love to watch Fireplaces. While it may be silly to us, it might be great for the fans. Now the only downside I see in this is the price. Nintendo can pull a Microsoft and charge 1,000 Wii points for this.

and "games" like these are why my Wii is covered by a mound of dust.

JRCB:

The_Healer:
So can I throw other assorted animated things into it?

No?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT IF I CAN'T BURN STUFF!?

Expecting to do violent things? On the Wii? What a crazy idea! Don't you know that it is a family platform?


Last time I checked, the Wii has something for everyone.

At least it's no dumber than that XBLA fireplace Major Nelson announced a while back for XBLA. I only remember two things, it was overpriced crap that did nothing, and he got slammed for it by the users... hard.

At least this sounds more interactive, if not still an incredibly stupid unusual idea. Maybe this is what an app style program looks like on a console?

What an oddly compelling product - it's always been my secret desire to have a virtual fireplace on my television screen, and now it's possible, joy!

But seriously, just how many drugs do you have to ingest before you decide making a virtual fireplace application is a sound course of action?

Aura Guardian:

SnootyEnglishman:

Aura Guardian:

Hazy:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l

SnootyEnglishman:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.

It's in WiiWare under the Nintendo license which means that Nintendo would have to okay the idea so it could be sold.

While true, Like my previous post. A lot of people love to watch Fireplaces. While it may be silly to us, it might be great for the fans. Now the only downside I see in this is the price. Nintendo can pull a Microsoft and charge 1,000 Wii points for this.

You have to be kidding me, Nintendo let it through, and you think it's worth it for the "fans"?

Fans of WHAT exactly? Watching virtual fireplaces? Because I'm pretty sure none of those exist!

These are the kind of "quality games" that Nintendo allows publishers to make and sell on their system, their low standards of what they allow hurt gamers, Microsoft charges more, but I'd gladly pay $20 for something worth every penny than any amount of cash for a VIRTUAL FIRE!

Not to mention, this whole thing is based on the "stunning visual effects" which might have been better served on...I don't know, A CONSOLE WITH HD!?

Oh and like you said, a lot of people like to watch FIREPLACES, not virtual fireplaces, if they're going to make it virtual, they could at least adhere to the standards of the last decade and make it HD, it would still be a joke, but right now it's so much of a joke it's not funny, it just makes you angry for some reason.

If the only downside you can see is price, then you must have missed the fact that this is a VIRTUAL FIREPLACE, I can't even come up with an analogy that makes it sound more useless than what it is.

Aura Guardian:

JRCB:

The_Healer:
So can I throw other assorted animated things into it?

No?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT IF I CAN'T BURN STUFF!?

Expecting to do violent things? On the Wii? What a crazy idea! Don't you know that it is a family platform?


Last time I checked, the Wii has something for everyone.

Except people who expect to see an HD picture, you know, instead of just rubbing dirt in their eyes.

SnootyEnglishman:

Aura Guardian:

Hazy:
"We now present, My Fireplace!"
"Cool, so what does it do?"
"Well... it simulates a fireplace."
"That's cool, what else?"
"Else?"
"...So... like.. that's all?"
"All?! Did you see these fire effects! They're incredible!"
"...Uh.. No thanks."

Sorry Nintendo, I'd rather light up a real fireplace for some actual warmth. :l

SnootyEnglishman:
If want to stoke a fire i'll go dig my own fire pit. Sorry Nintendo i love you guys but you're seriously dropping the ball on this one.

Made and published by Korner Entertainment S.L. and Continental Producciones S.L.
Not Nintendo!
But what's the point? Everyone targets Nintendo anyway.

It's in WiiWare under the Nintendo license which means that Nintendo would have to okay the idea so it could be sold.

There's a difference between being okay with a game and actually spending the time, effort, and money to develop it. It doesn't break any of Nintendo's policies, so they stand to make money on all 3 copies this game sells.

OT: This is really just a sad attempt to make a quick buck on the casual audience. This game probably took 2 weeks and a couple hundred dollars to make. It both surprises and saddens me that this is actually a game.

The only reason this is possible is that the makers have had a lot of fireplace romantic evenings. Why waste the time making a fire when you can flip it on? Romantic fireplace right and ready so you can have more fun time for romancing that lover of yours.

This is the way to treat press releases about crap software like this that comes out. There's no point in treating a company with respect if they are going to half ass something like this and then try to make money off of it. (But you know these guys are going to come out next year and say the Wii isn't good for third parties since obviously they made such a wonderful product it should dominate sales)

Ah yes, I can picture those magical evenings now. Coming home in the middle of a blizzard, going and turning on the fire, pretending to get warm, and roasting pretend marshmallows...

Seriously, who the hell came up with this? Are they thinking casual gamers might get it? Last time I checked, casual gamers actually like having some interactivity in their games.

Isn't it a little late for an April Fool's joke?

Great. Now I have another piece of shovelware to present alongside Wii Music to showcase how utterly worthless the Wii has become.

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