Videogame Haiku Will Soothe Your Soul

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Videogame Haiku Will Soothe Your Soul

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There's no better way to express the feeling of playing a videogame than with a haiku.

The best thing about videogames is that they're able to transcend all barriers into every form of media, even into the world of the haiku. EOGamer has posted a large selection of videogame haiku written by Oliver "Threedog" Campbell and Danika Potts that are both serious and humorous.

A haiku is a form of Japanese poetry that consists of three lines of five, seven, and five syllables respectively. See, you learn something every day here at The Escapist, and sometimes it doesn't even involve FarmVille.

The haiku I agree with most is for Final Fantasy XIII:

Beautiful skin, hair
battle between sides rages
game sucks really hard

I didn't enjoy that game. Heavy Rain also makes a debut in a more serious haiku:

Proving your worth is
the burden of this father
chasing red herring

That couldn't be more true. Campbell and Potts did two about No More Heroes including:

Touchdown is the man
lightbulb katana, blood flood
take a dump to save

Seems immature, but you really do take a dump to save your game in No More Heroes. Other games covered are Okami, Resonance of Fate, God Hand, Animal Crossing, inFamous, Portal, and Resident Evil 5. Check out EOGamer for the full list. I'll leave you with some Fallout 3 wisdom:

Apocalyptic
land is ravaged; in hindsight,
vault was pretty good

Until everyone in the vault goes crazy anyway!

Via: Kotaku

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Haha, loved the Fallout 3 one. "Vault was pretty good"

I'll have to take a look at the rest later.

What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

Ach, I really don't like English haiku, it just doesn't have the same rhythmical properties as Japanese haiku.

Then again, I'm bilingual, so my opinion is rather biased...

Hippopotamus
Antihippopotamus
Annihilation

Nice link, rather easy to do these kind of haiku though...

Press X to Jason
The joke we hear all the time
about Heavy Rain.

"Nico My Cousin"
How friends destroy a good game...
Number should be unlisted.

Fap fap fap fap fap
"Playing" with Bayonetta
I need more hand cream.

Those were kind of cool;
the Haiku thread has better.
Does it need a bump?

Princess needs saving
A heroes endless nightmare
Who built these towers?

Will definitely check the other out tomorrow.

Too darn tired for now
Will check on others later
Need to do homework.

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

Ask the weaboos

armageddon74400:

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

Ask the weaboos

They're not necessarily better, just another form of poetry. What's fun about them is they have a structure similar to a joke- they start with the first two lines being set-up, and then hit you with a surprise, or punchline, in the end. At least, the good ones do.

The Hero of Time
Sets forth with sword ready
Silent and stalwart

Azeroth in flames
The black dragon flies again
Heroes, ready arms

Link, sneaking around
Careful to not alert guards
Search for hidden key

Guy with spiky hair
Leads team, kills guy, saves the world
His sword was too big

Quirky ball-roller
His father, the biggest douche
Obsessions with balls

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

Define 'normal' poetry...?

A haiku is simply one form of poetry, of which there are many. There is no one normal standard.

Galaxy at risk
But not as important as,
Sex with aliens

(Mass Effect 2)

Meh, best minute effort.

I'm sure we had a thread like this recently.

It's interesting the way Haiku works considering how deceptively simple the form is...

Er, yeah it's cool.

Chainsaw bayonet
Powered by testosterone
Carve me up some grubs

You can't f*** Tali
She'd die if you sneezed on her
Condoms ain't that good

"Say something, Gordon!"
Freeman thinks, and then declares,
"I hate orange suits"

That's the best I could come up with on such short notice.

The Portal one felt...so right ^-^

Alan Wake

Writer goes to town,
Seems very much like Twin Peaks,
David Lynch should sue.

Assassin's Creed 2

Ezio's family killed,
Take revenge on the Templars,
Desmond please fuck off.

Borderlands

No coherent plot,
Sixty seven billion guns,
I'd loot Lilith's chest ;)

Far Cry 2

War in Africa,
Mugabe would enjoy it,
Guard posts everywhere.

Final Fantasy XIII

Corridor, cutscene,
Endless stream of enemies,
Very linear game.

Gears of War

Badass space marines,
In armour with no helmets,
Wielding chainsaw guns.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Steal cars, shoot people,
Niko wants no part of this,
Hypocritical.

Mass Effect 2

Step aside now Geth,
Martin Sheen is on the case,
Collectors gon' die.

Metro 2033

Walk through the tunnels,
Survive mutants and nazis,
Trains are always late.

Red Faction: Guerrilla

Wave your hammer round,
Miner with a Thor complex,
Die weak buildings, die!

And for a bonus:

Modelland

Awful double L,
All girls superficial whores?
Feminists will cry.

Superior Mind:
Galaxy at risk
But not as important as,
Sex with aliens

(Mass Effect 2)

Meh, best minute effort.

This. Is awesome. For just pulling that out of nowhere, you got a pretty good giggle out of me.

This game is hated
I'm talking about Halo
Admit it is good

Fans love it too much
Haters just want to be cool
It is not that bad

Hahaha. The one about FF 13 is hilarious..

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

They aren't...

The Combos they flow
Tatsunoko my childhood
Became fights of awe

Hmmm, well i like it.

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

They aren't. English haiku is the bottom of the poetry barrel. Still, some of these have entertainment value.

I like the FF XIII and No More Heroes the best. That guy's name, Oliver "Threedog" Campbell, reminds me of the Monty Python sketch about Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson.

Hehe. Kinda cool. Got to love Haiku. Short, sweet and yo the point!

FF8 one made me chuckle

Tom Goldman:
The best thing about videogames is that they're able to transcend all barriers into every form of media, even into the world of the haiku.

What? They seriously pay you to write this stuff?

That's the best thing about videogames, really?
It's not something related to, you know, actually playing them?
And is that in any way a unique feature of videogames?
That you can use them as a topic for haikus?
What barriers are there to transcend here?
What CAN'T you use as a topic for haikus?

You fail at making sense.
At least you didn't cite the exact same haikus that Kotaku did, though.

_Nocturnal:

Tom Goldman:
The best thing about videogames is that they're able to transcend all barriers into every form of media, even into the world of the haiku.

What? They seriously pay you to write this stuff?

That's the best thing about videogames, really?
It's not something related to, you know, actually playing them?
And is that in any way a unique feature of videogames?
That you can use them as a topic for haikus?
What barriers are there to transcend here?
What CAN'T you use as a topic for haikus?

You fail at making sense.
At least you didn't cite the exact same haikus that Kotaku did, though.

It was a joke. Considering some of the other stuff he's written.

"Videogame Haiku Will Soothe Your Soul"

"There's no better way to express the feeling of playing a videogame than with a haiku."

etc

Finish him off now
down plus right down right circle
Hadouken fire.

Final Fantasy
Heroes with bizarre hairdos
and weirder weapons

The Chocolate Icing
Candles and cherries aswell
This cake is no lie.

Given that I won a competition with it:

Mmmrrrggglll!
is five syllables I think;
I don't speak Nerglish.

Every Zelda

Clear eightish dungeons.
Gather assorted weapons.
Kill the final boss.

Super Mario Bros.

Brave land, sea, and air.
Grab the axe, where's the princess?
Another castle

Metroid

Orange exosuit
Time bomb is set, get out fast!
Samus is a GIRL!?

Super Mario Galaxy

Mario IN SPACE!
Bowser's competent; wait, what?
Seriously, since when?

Meet Rosalina,
Apparently immortal.
God or Time Lady?

Well-done gravity.
Singularities are bad.
Crap, stable orbit!

The final showdown
Hoist him by his own petard
(i.e. the magma)

Poor, poor Luigi.
He never catches a break.
Until New Game Plus.

poiumty:
What is it with haikus anyway, and why are they better than normal poetry.

They're Japanese, and therefore better.

Fnar.

Thanks, Mario, but
Our princess is in
Another castle!

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