Kim Kardashian: Future Tomb Raider Star?

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Kim Kardashian: Future Tomb Raider Star?

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Big-boobed socialite and reality television star Kim Kardashian wants to play big-boobed adventurer and archaeologist Lara Croft.

29-year-old Kim Kardashian is reportedly in talks to star in a future Tomb Raider movie as Lara Croft. She would be taking over the role that Angelina Jolie had played in two previous movies, if ShowBiz Spy's Hollywood insiders have their facts straight.

Kim Kardashian is a model and socialite known for... uh... stuff, and junk? I think I saw her naked on the internet once. I mean, I think my friend saw her naked on the internet once.

She does have some star power though, supposedly, with the Tomb Raider movie she's in negotiations for said to be a reboot of the Tomb Raider film series. An anonymous source revealed: "This will be something very different to Angelina's Lara. Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience."

Sources have also divulged that Kardashian has been taking acting lessons for quite some time now. She wants to make her big screen debut by putting these skills to good use filling the shoes of Lara Croft. I think she'll be filling more than that, am I right guys? Anybody? Is this thing on...?

I'm saying that she has boobs.

Via: Kotaku

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No-one is ever gonna beat Alison Carroll

She even has the accent.

Could they please stop it with all these reboots? And by what they mean by targeting a teen audience is that there just gonna show boobs instead of a plot.

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Oh yes I remember her. She's that well know RSC trained actress. Very popular on the Theatre circuit, and made a splash at Cannes last year when she wrote, directed, and starred in her short film "Why the hell am I famous?". I'd rather have Megan Fox.

At least Angelina Jolie can actually act, and not just have large breasts.

God save us all from this storm of shit!

In all honesty, in every Tomb Raider game, I cared for the tits and ass. I am not going to lie, that was the main focus. I could care less if your actor skills were good or not.

BOOOOOBS! and don't forget dat ASSSSSS!

Seriously OT: Who the fuck is in charge of casting in hollywood? They already fucked up with Kane and Lynch and now this?

Straying Bullet:
In all honesty, in every Tomb Raider game, I cared for the tits and ass. I am not going to lie, that was the main focus. I could care less if your actor skills were good or not.

Why not just watch free pr0n online? I mean spending $$ on a game of animated tits and ass seems excessive and unnecessary.

I'm sorry, but Lara Croft is dead.

...I just saw her rotting corpse in a ditch while I was walking the dog.

I smell another poor film I won't be watching.

This chickenhead can't act interested in her own life, I'd hate to see her try to act in a movie where she wasn't playing anything more complicated than a coffee table. She has the acting range of a shadow, and I'm not saying she isn't hot, but not all hot women deserve to act in legit movies. Stick to amateur porn where you got your start and stay the hell away from trying to be anything but that. It didn't work for Paris Hilton, and honey, you ain't much better than that pile of crap.

This is good news.

The materials fit the product, it means that no genuine actress can have her reputation damaged by whatever F grade script they dream up this time.

Oh yeah I can totally see it now.

Butler: So ma'am what's the plan for today?

Lara: Lets go shopping for shoes!

This shit writes itself.

BTW, if you're going to do a Lara Croft film, please sit down and watch Transformers, Streetfighter, Dungeons and Dragons and The Legend of Chun Li.

Now, don't do that.

Hmmm... boobs in 3D...

Tom Goldman:
"Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience."

Ingredients for utter and complete franchise ruination right there.
Am I the one who is a little baffled by the "teen" orientation since those who played Tomb Raider aren't exactly teens now.
Oh, and 3-D. Another one?

...why? Because she kinda sorta looks like her? She can't act. This should be a complete no brainer, but why the hell would they cast someone who can't act and doesn't really look like the character they're casting?

The_root_of_all_evil:
No-one is ever gonna beat Alison Carroll

She even has the accent.

she has the chest size as well...

OT: Another bimbo takes over. Not much of an Angelina Jolie fan, but at least she's an actress and has reasonable talent. Kim Kardashian is a brain-dead fame-whore, who suffers from the classic illness Parishiltonitis.

That being said, the Lara Croft films were mediocre at best, so its not much of a jump from 'alright' to 'crap'

JourneyThroughHell:

Tom Goldman:
"Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience."

Ingredients for utter and complete franchise ruination right there.
Am I the one who is a little baffled by the "teen" orientation since those who played Tomb Raider aren't exactly teens now.
Oh, and 3-D. Another one?

Hmmm, well Tomb Raider did spawn a rather successful comic book series that was collected in TPB collections. I haven't read them, but they exist. I'd imagine that's the version of Lara she's saying she wants to emulate. I can't comment on that version vs. the game version or the relative fan bases.

What's more "Tomb Raider" has done the cross generational thing, being one of the few games to do that. Others include "Final Fantasy VII" (and the serious in general), and "Street Fighter".

That said, I don't think anyone could beat Angelina Jolie in the role, I've always had a bit of a thing for her, and she looked pretty much exactly like the character.

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I'll also go so far as to say that I think "Tomb Raider" would do better as a TV series than a movie franchise, despite the differance in potential profits. I look back at "Relic Hunter" with Tia Carerra (who I also have a thing for), and it was a pretty decent show that developed a cult following. Tia's character "Sydney" was even used (somewhat) in Fallout 3 all these years later. Looking at what they could do with the premise with a somewhat better budget, and more modern FX, I think it would work pretty well. "Sanctuary" more or less demonstrated the abillity of elaborate sets to be done pretty affordably using green screen.

God damnit. Now my grandfather will never stop watching the tomb raider movies

Tom Goldman:

Big-boobed socialite and reality television star Kim Kardashian wants to play big-boobed adventurer and archaeologist Lara Croft.

"Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience."

Well you know why...

Am I the only one who thinks her lips look absolutely fucked up?
I cannot take my eyes off them. Just... are they even real?

OT: Never really cared for Tomb Raider. The games and character just didn't interest me.

But I really don't think the series deserves... this.

I would rather see Bruce Jenner as Laura Croft!

I too am sick of the reboots for the teens and reboots all together. So basicly hollwywood is saying "we ran out of ideas lets cash in on old ones."

Tomb Raider?

More like...dick...raider...

Fuck it.

See, when people say there haven't been any good video game movies it makes me wonder. Were the Tomb Raider movies not considered good? I thought they were pretty popular...

well...its not like the other tomb raider movies were good anyways, so the bar is set pretty low for this re-imagination.

regardless, i will not be watching this, so good luck?

I don't know who she is, but then I hated the Jolie movies as well. I much prefer Lara Croft from the comic books, even over the videogame portrayal.

And also, 'Kim is wanted to play a far more comic-strip version of Lara which would be shot in 3-D and aimed at a teen audience.' Firstly, this is insulting to anyone who read the comic books (If you did you know what I'm talking about)

Secondly, when was Tomb Raider ever not aimed at a teen audience? I may not be an expert but Jolie's films being rated 12 and featuring a large breasted woman leaves me with very little doubt as to the market they were aiming for.

I'm surprised you found a picture that didn't either make her look skanky or like Beverly Hills trash.

And this new movie is going to be in 3-D you say!? Well golly-gee, I can't even be bothered to finish this attempt at sarcasm!

Oh great. And it has 3D. The motherfucking theater is going to smell like semen once the movie's finished after all the teenage guys jacking off in there.

DO NOT WANT!!!!

Who?

While a part of me has died, the idea of her as Lara Croft has made another part of me become quite lively!

.... yes. It's a penis joke. I'll go sit in the corner.

But seriously, no. I mean, among many other possible complaints, like she probably can't, or that''3D'' and ''teen'' both make me think it'll be shit, Lara Croft is English. If a movie is going to be made of Lara Croft, I'd much rather have an English lady play her than Kim Kardashian

Tom Goldman:
"...aimed at a teen audience."

... Whuh.

Why would you aim an archaeological story at teams?

I'm sorry this may be inappropriate but...are her breasts natural or implants?

Kim is bad enough but when i read this

"aimed at a teen audience"

The chances of this being good have been Crushed.

If she hasn't appeared in films before, how can everyone say she can't act? Yeah, I hold no hopes that she will be good, but it's possible. Also possible is that the film is going to be damn terrible anyway.

If she can't do the accent there's going to be a lot of angry nerds furiously pleasuring themselves to this movie. I do hear hate sex is great, though.

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