Bulletstorm ESRB Rating is Comedy Gold

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Bulletstorm ESRB Rating is Comedy Gold

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If you think violence, f-bombs, "Intoxicated Skillshots" and the Drilldo sound like fun, the ESRB says Bulletstorm might be just the game you're looking for.

The Entertainment Software Rating Board provides an invaluable service to gamers and the videogame industry alike by serving up the sort of back-of-the-box blurbs and sheer comedy gold that were virtually unheard of in the days prior to Mortal Kombat and Doom. Case in point: the rating summary for Bulletstorm, the upcoming shooter from Painkiller studio People Can Fly.

The description of the game as a shooter in which players become space pirates trying to escape a planet of mutant cannibals is amusing, if only for its unabashedly stereotypical ridiculousness, but it's not until after the ESRB explains some of the game's weapons and more colorful killing methods, like dismemberment with explosives, impalement on spikes and being "drilled into walls," whatever that means, that things really kick into high gear.

"Players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences," the summary reads. "The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks."

Sex with one's mother and "Fire in the Hole." Oh, and plenty of f-bombs, c-sharps and other colorful language, too; this is, after all, the game that gave us "dicktits." I am so preordering this thing.

Bulletstorm comes out on February 22 for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.

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That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

So glad I already pre-ordered!

now i really want to play this

Considering Epic's other games aren't on Steam, I suppose Bulletstorm won't also? I'll have to wait for a retail version to reach the remote place where I live then.

That is amazing. That could be the best source of hype for a game ever.

Ok, you've convinced me. I'm buying this. With so many "gritty, realistic" shooters, it'll be nice to have something that revels in it's own silliness.

Why haven't I pre-ordered this yet?

This game looks insanely fun and I'm loving its dirty and juvenile humor.

Arkhangelsk:
That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

Exactly, for once I don't want a serious or smart story. Just give me a paper thin plot, tons of bad guys and enough Dakka that I could shoot down the Battlestar Galactica and I'm good to go! :D

...
wow

are they promoting or warning the parents??

if anyone intending to buy the game reads this its a sure buy

if a parent reads this its a sure "not untill you are older kiddo"

hehe, its soooo god to be 25 and be able to enjoy this kinds of games!!!

to bad my kid turns 3 and i wont be able to play this when he is home hehehehehe

Hmm... The more I hear about this game, the more I become interested. Sadly, I have no experience with People Can Fly, so I'm still sort of on the fence.

Mindless ultra violence eh?

Quick! To the Fox News proof bunker!

..."DRILLDO"?!

Just... "DRILLDO"?!

dalek sec:

Arkhangelsk:
That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

Exactly, for once I don't want a serious or smart story. Just give me a paper thin plot, tons of bad guys and enough Dakka that I could shoot down the Battlestar Galactica and I'm good to go! :D

if you havent, i would recomend you buy Just Cause 2 while you wait for bulletstorm

its insanely fun, i have finished the story but i´m still climbing to the %100 just cause its so fun (yeah, pun intended)

also, the story makes no sense, you are practically a bad ass batman, and the settings are increadibly beautifull (for such a game).

i still dont get why most people didnt liked this game.

=O I am getting this! If its online, then, along with TF2, we now have TWO ridiculous, cartoony, over-the-top, oh-so-bloody multiplayer shooters =]

Thedayrecker:
Mindless ultra violence eh?

Quick! To the Fox News proof bunker!

I'm bringing popcorn to that, I'd love to see how they attack it. :D

Dicktits.
'Nuff said.

Wanted to play it berfore, now even more so

dalek sec:

Arkhangelsk:
That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

Exactly, for once I don't want a serious or smart story. Just give me a paper thin plot, tons of bad guys and enough Dakka that I could shoot down the Battlestar Galactica and I'm good to go! :D

Yea, I miss kicking ass and chewing bubblegum. Although I was always out of bubblegum...

I think that games that don't take themselves seriously make for better experiences. Definitely on my "Must Buy" list.

This is on PC, right?
RIGHT?!

Edit
So it is. I'm getting this. It's like Serious Sam on Crystal Meth.

This has the best of both worlds over the top mindless, violence, creative violence but with an actual story.

I would just like to point out that People Can Fly studio is from Poland! You know, "Kurwa!"-land!

Singularly Datarific:

Thedayrecker:
Mindless ultra violence eh?

Quick! To the Fox News proof bunker!

I'm bringing popcorn to that, I'd love to see how they attack it. :D

I wonder how The Onion is still alive, competing with such hardcore players as Fox.

(In an Irish accent) Lets do some gratuitous violence.

Arkhangelsk:
That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

This. I miss the good old days where the only objective you got was "kill a shitload of badguys with a shitload of weapons". And it seems the good old day are coming back!

Good to know.

I'm going to stash this in the "deny its existence" part of my brain.

Arkhangelsk:
That and Duke Nukem Forever is the perfect dosage of mindless shooters that we need. Enough with serious stories for now, I want some over-the-top violence with gallows humor! :D

It's a shame that the actual duke nukem forever is coming out cause then this game could perport to being the actual duke nukem forever. as if it isn't already

If there is a single player campagin then great. If it's just like TF2 then it's a no-go for me.

tautologico:
Considering Epic's other games aren't on Steam, I suppose Bulletstorm won't also? I'll have to wait for a retail version to reach the remote place where I live then.

It's more Epic's other games aren't on PC wholesale, rather than on Steam. Hell, the Unreal series is on every digital distributor worth their salt. The Gears games are published by Microsoft Games Studios, which hates PC gaming for some reason.

This is the game I will play when I get pissed off at the world and need to kill shit.

Last Bullet:
Hmm... The more I hear about this game, the more I become interested. Sadly, I have no experience with People Can Fly, so I'm still sort of on the fence.

You should really pick up a bargain copy of Painkiller then so you can hop on down from that fence conclusively - I can attest that, given their track record, People Can Fly are very good at making exactly the sort of game that Bulletstorm gives every indication it will be. Failing that, you could also look up the Zero Punctuation review (that Yahtzee did because he felt like it, since it came out in 2004) wherein he does little more than gush nonstop about how completely awesome Painkiller is (well, apart from the story anyway, but nobody plays a game like Painkiller or Serious Sam for the story, it's just sort of "there").

wow, a game with more profanity in the single player then what the ten year old "Dicktits" on xbox live will yell. I am now interested.

People Can Fly have decisively proven that they know how to make an enjoyable FPS, so I'm in. That it might out-Duke Duke Nuke 'Em is just a bonus.

Dicktits.

'Nuff said.

Spinwhiz:
So glad I already pre-ordered!

Same, these next few weeks I'll have set, lol

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