It's Drunken Space Marines vs. Horny Elves in BoneCraft

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It's Drunken Space Marines vs. Horny Elves in BoneCraft

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Drop your socks and grab your mouse because it's time for BoneCraft, a new videogame three-way between World of WarCraft, Starcraft and interactive cartoon porn.

I don't actually play Starcraft or World of WarCraft, so I won't be able to do any sly, "Hey, is that Jim Raynor in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" jokes with this one. Instead, I'll just let the facts speak for themselves.

"A mighty spacecraft hurtles through the sky, filled with invaders from a planet far away," says the introduction to BoneCraft. "They call themselves the Good Ol' Boys, but the elves fear nothing good will come of their visit. These drunken space marines are about to discover that the planet harbors the most precious commodity in the universe: elf pussy."

BoneCraft comes to use courtesy of D-Dub Software, the good folks behind BoneTown, "the world's first action adventure adult videogame" that we told you about a couple years ago. "We have elf prostitutes, horny orcs [and] drunken space marines," a D-Dub rep said. "These two genres have been done a million times, and we're doing something new to them by making a version that's adult and humorous."

It's also a little weird. Does anybody actually play these games? The BoneTown forums aren't exactly hopping with activity but the game itself has been around for a couple of years now, which I suppose indicates some modicum of success, so maybe BoneCraft will be even bigger. I guess just about anything can find an audience as long as there's enough sex mixed in with it.

via: Kotaku

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HAHAHAHA! this is just epic. I wonder how many quests will be to screw a boar rather then kill it.

Also Captcha was "thumbs up" Seems awkward at this moment in time.

...must...repress...pylons...pun! :(

Good gravy this is... stupid. But it will make money. Not from me though. As Yahtz said, I am British, and so am hostile to any attempt to arouse me (not gay)

"Drop that shield baby, this weapon's two handed"

Could they get sued for this? I have a felling Blizzard might not like this.

Ugh God, I'm going to laugh myself into a hernia at this...

Obviously someone's not been in game in WoW. This is normal for "certain" areas...

(Captcha : Put on your thinking cap...)

Blegh. I can't laugh at or bemoan the idiocy of this. It's just... THERE. Taunting my inexplicable disbelief of its existence.

is that a stimpack in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

seriously tho, this is just stupid, and even so because Blizzard will proof their awesome and swing the mighty Banhammer shaped like Frostmourne and beat this down the pooper.

BoneCraft, Red Light District, Second Life...

This is why we'll never be able to enjoy a Holodeck/Danger Room: we'd spend too much time with our dicks in it.

EDIT: Inquiring minds want to know - just how did you stumble upon this nugget of Bratz doll debauchery, Andy?

Well... that was an "interesting" trailer.

Oh the possibilities.
"Our warriors have engaged the sexy elf prostitutes."
Orc: "Why don't you touch me instead of leading an army?"
Space Marine: "Oh my god! He's whacking off!"
Dwarf: "This...is...my...BOOMSTICK!!!!"
Ghost: "Keep it up! I DARE you..."

Ok. Temporary regression complete. Commence the epic facepalming.

Captain-Giggles:
"Drop that shield baby, this weapon's two handed"

Damn it! You made me laugh.

OT: The fuck? It's not April so it can't be an April fool's joke...

And whatever floats your boat...

In the name of the Emperor, this heresy will be cleansed...

Armored Prayer:
Could they get sued for this? I have a felling Blizzard might not like this.

Blizzard doesn't own the Space Marine, Elf, and Orc genre's, if anything Tolkien should be hitting a rotational singularity right about now.

now, if it was a blatant rip-off of Starcraft of Warcraft, then maybe.

OT: no. no no no no NO NO NONONONONONONO..........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

we have rule34 for a REASON, besides, I can already see the quests:

Kill 5 wolves, take to local leather worker, get corset with +5 sexiness.

or alternatively: Kill 5 wolves, craft "Furry Costume".

honestly though, looking at it, it seems to be a pallet swap from Bonetown, and there is a REASON why that game is literally unknown to the rest of the internet world.

This is too funny. The comedy value out weighs any type of entertainment from something so trivial.

Armored Prayer:
Could they get sued for this? I have a felling Blizzard might not like this.

If Game's Workshop can't sue blizzard, (and they have every right to) then blizzard can't sue anybody. That said I think a previous interview with the developer of the game says it all:

"It doesn't make sense," said the CEO of BoneTown developer D-Dub, who refers to himself as Hod.

Who refers to HIMSELF AS "HOD".

Jark212:

In the name of the Emperor, this heresy will be cleansed...

Purge it with holy fire brothers! Glory to the Imperium!

seriously: Game appears to epic fail, this is an area where shite graphics do help a game suuuuck. This is almost as depressing as the live action WoW Porn....

Hang on let me dig out my facepalm pics....okay i guess this will do

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Jark212:

In the name of the Emperor, this heresy will be cleansed...

*Pulls out his Rosette and displays it* In the name of the Ordo Hereticus I declare this "work" to be Heresy of the highest order... may the God Emperor of Terra have mercy on your soul when you reach the Gold Throne for I shall not!

OT: I never understood how people could get away with those porn paraodies and not get their balls sued off.

To be honest, I'm not surprised people wouldn't go on forums about these games. No one will ADMIT to playing one, but they do.... many people do.

Jark212:

In the name of the Emperor, this heresy will be cleansed...

As a dark eldar I laugh at you foolish humans, if you want to cleanse the galaxy light yourselves on fire.

OT:
This idea made me laugh but also made me figure that it wasn't worth checking out, it sounds like a sex wow, kill 30 boars to level up your sex skills.

Captcha says: worship Plazmah...someone is bored at work today.

Keep BoneCraft in mind while watching this video. It gets pretty creepy.

You got something on your face.
Paintin' the target.

The only thing about this that surprises me is that it's taken this long to happen. I, however, am still waiting for a porn game that's actually good. Somehow I very much doubt this is it.

dalek sec:
OT: I never understood how people could get away with those porn paraodies and not get their balls sued off.

For the same reason people who do non-creepy sexual parodies don't get their balls sued off - parodies fall under the category of fair use. People like say... Weird Al might ask the various musicians he parodies for permission first, but technically he doesn't have to, that's just him being a stand-up fellow.

There's a line between parodies and simply ripping something off wholesale of course, but in general the owners of the original IP simply have to grin and bear it when somebody decides to parody their work.

Will this game be arousing or just funny?

2fish:

As a dark eldar I laugh at you foolish humans, if you want to cleanse the galaxy light yourselves on fire.

Foul xeno... you and all your kind shall be purged in his name! In the name of the Imperium of Man and the burning divine light of the Emperor of Mankind you shall be purged from our galaxy once and for all! *draws holy power sword*

OT: Sorry 2fish but I couldn't help myself there. I like the Dark Eldar a bit myself. :D

just.....wow :|

Armored Prayer:
Could they get sued for this? I have a felling Blizzard might not like this.

Eh.. I dotn think so... It kind of falls into that strange gray area of parody.

Wat...
That's really all I can say, WAT.

Captain-Giggles:
"Drop that shield baby, this weapon's two handed"

Oh snap! There it is! You totally went there!

Not bad for adult gamers to have something, interesting taste. Not something I'd go for but others might like it.

lol re-skinned bonetown this be. the WoWtards that masturbate to dancing nightelves are gonna really have a boner for this XD

Its OK society, us gamers are just like any normal person exept insted of watching actual porn we have this :/

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