Lady Throws Wii at Boyfriend, Hilarity and Jailtime Ensues

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Lady Throws Wii at Boyfriend, Hilarity and Jailtime Ensues

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A woman was arrested and jailed this week for allegedly throwing a Wii console at her boyfriend's face.

Rebecca Varina Sloskowski, 31 years old, was arrested and jailed on Monday January 10th under second-degree assault charges and eventually jailed for tossing the Wii. There is no word whether Sloskowski's boyfriend wants to return to his lover's Hillsboro, Oregon home about ten miles west of Portland, or whether he will press charges.

It's an old story really, one that we've heard so many times that I'm sure you can recite it along with me. A man loves a woman. The woman becomes intoxicated and the man leaves the house to give her time to calm down and sober up.

When he returns four hours later, the woman is still raving bat-shit crazy angry and screams at him, shoving him against the wall. She then starts throwing whatever she can at him before her hand rests on the Wii console. She then hurls it at the man, chipping two teeth and cutting his lip. Same old story right?

Perhaps Nintendo should put safety straps on the Wii console in addition to the strap that comes with Wii Remotes. Or perhaps the boyfriend should buy her one of these?

Source: The Hillsboro Argus

Permalink

What a better use of a Wii.

Does Fark have "jailarity ensues" copyrighted yet? Because otherwise there's no excuse---NONE---for not putting that into the headline.

I think she misunderstood the concept of motioncontrol.

"One of these" might have resulted in the headline "man has Wii sex toy shoved in one ear and out the other".

Did it lag midway trough the air?

If it was the PS Move it would have been lag free from the time she threw it to the point of contact.

Playstation. It Does Everything.

That's probably the most action that Wii has ever gotten...

See why the PC would be a better choice for a gaming device? Because she couldn't lift and throw a 15Kg tower. :D

Greg Tito:
Lady Throws Wii at Boyfriend, Hilarity and Jailtime Ensues

And the winner of best title for a news post ever goes to.......

If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

Reagus:
If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

Double standards are teh LOLS!!1! :D

/sarcasm

Am I the only one that wants to know if the Wii still worked after having been thrown? Be a decent test to see how sturdy it is in comparison to the other consoles xD

The thing looks like a brick and apparently it can double as a brick. Amazing!

All I can think about is whether this all started because the guy accidentally overwritten one of her saved games.

Reagus:
If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

I was thinking the same.

"You promised we would play Super Smash Bros Co-op tonight!
YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE!"

Cakes:

Reagus:
If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

I was thinking the same.

If it was the other way around, I'd have to make the cliche "make him a sandwich" joke. I think this way is much more comical.
Yeah, yeah double standards. What'cha gunna do?

IamSofaKingRaw:
Did it lag midway trough the air?

If it was the PS Move it would have been lag free from the time she threw it to the point of contact.

Playstation. It Does Everything.

If I were Sony I would hire you as a marketing team leader.

Greg Tito:

When he returns four hours later, the woman is still raving bat-shit crazy angry and screams at him, shoving him against eh wall. She then starts throwing whatever she can at him before her hand rests on the Wii console. She then hurls it at the man, chipping two teeth and cutting his lip. Same old story right?

You appear to have lost a T in the process of writing this article. Did Kross take it from you?

therandombear:

Greg Tito:

When he returns four hours later, the woman is still raving bat-shit crazy angry and screams at him, shoving him against eh wall. She then starts throwing whatever she can at him before her hand rests on the Wii console. She then hurls it at the man, chipping two teeth and cutting his lip. Same old story right?

You appear to have lost a T in the process of writing this article. Did Kross take it from you?

The letters left are in the wrong order, too :P

Anyway... Yeah, a Wii is a lot easier to throw than a PS3 or 360. I was amazed by how big the 360 was when I got it...

Cakes:

Reagus:
If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

I was thinking the same.

As was I.
I came here expecting a story about domestic violence, perhaps with some ironic twist.
I got the domestic violence bit, but....

She should have thrown a Wiimote at him instead. Then she could have tried to pass it off as an accident, though I doubt she would have gotten away with it.

Why didn't he figure out that she was insane when she bought a Wii?

I want to know what the fight was about that left her steaming for four hours.

So when a woman does it to a guy it's funny, but if it had been the other way around this thread when have been full of comments asking what the hell she was doing out of the kitchen. And people think this is funny?

HankMan:

"You promised we would play Super Smash Bros Co-op tonight!
YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANY MORE!"

Cakes:

Reagus:
If it was a man who threw a Wii at his girlfriend i'm pretty sure the word "hilarity" wouldn't be in the title.

Just saying...

I was thinking the same.

If it was the other way around, I'd have to make the cliche "make him a sandwich" joke. I think this way is much more comical.
Yeah, yeah double standards. What'cha gunna do?

I'LL TELL YA WHAT TO DO!

Laugh! Because double standards are always funny!

Edit: Actually the "make me a sandwich" joke is still appliable in this situation. It would just be a lot funnier!

I can see it now. Nintendo will now release a silicone liner for the CONSOLE now.

BabyRaptor:
So when a woman does it to a guy it's funny, but if it had been the other way around this thread when have been full of comments asking what the hell she was doing out of the kitchen. And people think this is funny?

You mean one of those?

Greg Tito:
Lady Throws Wii at Boyfriend, Hilarity and Jailtime Ensues

image

A woman was arrested and jailed this week for allegedly throwing a Wii console at her boyfriend's face.

Rebecca Varina Sloskowski, 31 years old, was arrested and jailed on Monday January 10th under second-degree assault charges and eventually jailed for tossing the Wii. There is no word whether Sloskowski's boyfriend wants to return to his lover's Hillsboro, Oregon home about ten miles west of Portland, or whether he will press charges.

It's an old story really, one that we've heard so many times that I'm sure you can recite it along with me. A man loves a woman. The woman becomes intoxicated and the man leaves the house to give her time to calm down and sober up.

When he returns four hours later, the woman is still raving bat-shit crazy angry and screams at him, shoving him against eh wall. She then starts throwing whatever she can at him before her hand rests on the Wii console. She then hurls it at the man, chipping two teeth and cutting his lip. Same old story right?

Perhaps Nintendo should put safety straps on the Wii console in addition to the strap that comes with Wii Remotes. Or perhaps the boyfriend should buy her one of these?

Source: The Hillsboro Argus

Permalink

Yeah having a couple of kilos of plastic hurled at your face sounds like a barrel of fucking laughs.

She went to jail, good. At least justice was served in this farcical account of a domestic assault.

AssassinJoe:

I'LL TELL YA WHAT TO DO!

Laugh! Because double standards are always funny!

Edit: Actually the "make me a sandwich" joke is still appliable in this situation. It would just be a lot funnier!

"HERE'S your dam sandwich you BASTARD!"

Hey you're right! :D

Ouch, getting that to the face must have been a wii bit painful.

This would be the equality that people need to actually embrace to eliminate the "differences" between the sexes. You assault someone, you go to jail, irregardless of your gender.

Bravo.

Whiskey Echo!!
Mythgraven

Booze Zombie:
"One of these" might have resulted in the headline "man has Wii sex toy shoved in one ear and out the other".

That kind of story is what keeps newspapers alive. Only people who don't realize they can read it for free online still buy the paper for it, but still. I guess this story's pretty good too, though.

First it was the Wiimotes, now it's the Wii...

I'm not seeing the hilarity here. When drunk people are drunk, they do dumb shit. It's just another rule of life.

Oh, and this might be a problem:

Greg Tito:
When he returns four hours later, the woman is still raving bat-shit crazy angry and screams at him, shoving him against eh wall.

Last I checked, 'eh' wasn't so much as a word as a random noise that people make when they don't really care for the choice that has been given to them.

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