Elderly Woman Pokes Cable, Cuts Internet Access in Three Countries

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Elderly Woman Pokes Cable, Cuts Internet Access in Three Countries

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A senior citizen inadvertently cut the internet access of three countries while digging with a spade shovel.

Some citizens of the former Soviet Union make money by digging for unused copper cables and selling them as scrap. A 75-year-old woman from Georgia was doing just that when she accidentally hit and damaged a fiber-optic cable, cutting off internet access for millions of people in three different countries.

The Guardian reports that the woman did the deed with a simple spade shovel. Georgia provides 90% of neighboring Armenia's internet, so her mistake left 3.2 million citizens of the country without internet access. In addition, areas of Georgia and Azerbaijan were also taken offline.

A system monitoring damage notified authorities who arrived shortly after the woman hit the cable. They arrested her on suspicion of damaging property, but she was temporarily released for "old age." She could face up to three years in prison.

The cable is reportedly "heavily protected," but may have been exposed due to landslides, rain, or other natural factors. I'm going to go ahead and say that if a 75-year-old digging with a dinky shovel could damage it, it wasn't "heavily protected," unless I'm missing something here. Then again, maybe the woman had been playing a lot of Minecraft.

Thanks for the tip Stevey M!

Source: Guardian

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Wow, thats awesome, i should start digging now!
Wait, they get fiber optics over there? i should move there, and get better gaming connections!

Still no diamond for her though....

Seriously... THIS is why we have dial before you dig over here

I wonder how many people were searching for porn when that happened xD

Heh... I love that.

"She's old... *sighs* Let's get back to work."

Maybe this is a marketing scheme by Notch... OMG THERE'S GOING TO BE CABLES IN MINECRAFT.

"temporarily released for "old age."
Nice, I think i'm gonna wait until 75 to rob all the banks in the world.

"Temporarily Released for Old Age" is going to get me out of some situations when I'm old *views hit list*

Poor old lady is probably going to get stoned by the local townsfolk.

Jaranja:
Heh... I love that.

"She's old... *sighs* Let's get back to work."

Maybe this is a marketing scheme by Notch... OMG THERE'S GOING TO BE CABLES IN MINECRAFT.

There already are :D you can link mertal doors to switches via redstone-wire, and if someone digss there theyll damage it :D

Heavily protected? Dirt doesn't count guys.

vivalahelvig:
Wow, thats awesome, i should start digging now!
Wait, they get fiber optics over there? i should move there, and get better gaming connections!

You may notice the part where a single fiber optic cable carried the internet for over 3.2 million people.

oggebogge91:
"temporarily released for "old age."
Nice, I think i'm gonna wait until 75 to rob all the banks in the world.

Sir, if you can commit to a bank robbery and likely high speed chase when you are 75 years old and more or less suffering from potentially Alzheimers or Arthritis at the same time, then you deserve to get away scot free.

OT: I lol'd. "Mom, someone's grandma broke my internet connection!" "That's nice, dear."

-_-

In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In soviet russia, internet cable digs you?

Nah, thats not good....

she was temporarily released for "old age." She could face up to three years in prison.

There were -two- amusing/strange things I found in this statement alone

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In Soviet Russia, Old Lady Haxxes you?

Next, the U.S. Congress will demand a study on how secure our communications systems are against the elderly.

"Sir! A 72-year-old man in Sheboygan tried to use an ATM and knocked out two of our satellites!"

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In Soviet Russia... Minecraft plays you?

I don't think that works D:

This happens to be why when you go digging for metal, you use a metal detector.

vivalahelvig:
Wow, thats awesome, i should start digging now!
Wait, they get fiber optics over there? i should move there, and get better gaming connections!

Theres fibre optics everywhere. Its been the primary long-distance linkage method for the interwebs for dogs years now.

Come think of it, i wonder what happens to the sharks that sometimes damage cables under the Atlantic...

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In Soviet Russia Internet Cuts YOU

That's awesome and very unexpected

Captcha:National Assult seriously are these intentional or maybe they are really stupid trying to be subliminal

Goddamnit, this shouldn't happen as often as it does, remember that incident with a boats anchor severing some lines?

I find it odd that all that was concentrated into 1 cable.

Only in Huhrussia...would an elderly women be digging!

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

In Soviet Russia, old lady screws you! Dear god, I need brain bleach!

Q: What does the internet in the Soviet Union have in common with the internet in Canada?
A: They're both ruined by gold diggers!

HEY-O!

The situation is different here, but it just goes to show how vulnerable internet infrastructure can be if you manage to hit the right place(s).

oggebogge91:
"temporarily released for "old age."
Nice, I think i'm gonna wait until 75 to rob all the banks in the world.

This.

That woman should have been charged with property damage and a world record in literally hacking the Internet off from 3 different countries simultaneously.

Talk about 'data mining'
*snap*
There it is :)

Tom Goldman:
They arrested her on suspicion of damaging property, but she was temporarily released for "old age."

This made me laugh really really hard.

You know you're old when the police feel bad for arresting you.

See this is why I think all such cables you be covered in a bright yellow and black coat with great big danger warnings, and a massive electric current running through them to kill any dipshit you touches them.

oggebogge91:
"temporarily released for "old age."
Nice, I think i'm gonna wait until 75 to rob all the banks in the world.

It's only temporary, so they'll put her back in jail once she hits 60 again.

I don't know why, but I find this hilarious. It's just so out-of-place for an elderly women to cut the internet in so many places.

HankMan:
In Soviet Russia...

Damit I got nuthin!

"In Soviet Russia, YOU destroy the internet!"

Apparently the internet is not shovel proof.

And three years in prison seems more than bit excessive.

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