Valve Stocks Up on Awesome Portal 2 Merchandise

Valve Stocks Up on Awesome Portal 2 Merchandise

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If you're not too busy playing Portal 2 today, why not buy the awesome "Three Turret Moon" T-Shirt?

So I've been pretty much playing Portal 2 all day today. It's really awesome. I just got to the part where I had to spoiler the spoiler in order to spoiler spoiler and then spoiler did spoiler and I spoilered into the spoiler only to spoiler my spoiler with the Portal Gun. (Note: Not an actual spoiler).

But even I need to take a break once in a while, and so do you. In case you're not spending your time away from the game obsessively thinking about Portal, Valve has you covered to ensure that you do exactly that with a bunch of new merchandise in the Valve Store. (And this is real-life stuff, not in-game hats for your TF2 characters, though I'm sure there's plenty of that too.)

Most people will be interested in the Apparel section, with its collection of Portal 2 shirts and jackets. Personally, I'm in love with the "Three Turret Moon" shirt you see here to the right, but I'd also really like to get the Aperture track jacket, too. It's just so classy.

For those with some empty wall space to fill, the Prints section has some rather nice artwork. There's some concept art there, and some posters that wouldn't be out of place in Aperture's offices. There's the arbitrary action shot of Portal 2 co-op stars ATLAS and P-Body, if you want robots hanging on your bedroom wall.

There's only one item in the Accessories tab, however - a pint glass bearing Aperture's logo circa 1940. Hopefully it doesn't automatically lace your beer with asbestos or a deadly neurotoxin; that would be bad.

Anyway, I've got my eye on that Three Turret Moon shirt, but right now I'm going to go back and play Portal 2. Can you really blame me?

(And by the way, any genuine spoilers in the comment thread that are not A.) clearly marked and B.) behind a spoiler cut will result in a swift and permanent ban from our forums. That crap ain't cool.)

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I understand the shirt. Do you?

John Funk:

(And by the way, any genuine spoilers in the comment thread that are not A.) clearly marked and B.) behind a spoiler cut will result in a swift and permanent ban from our forums. That crap ain't cool.)

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou(thankyou).

connall:
I understand the shirt. Do you?

yes i do.

'You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon,'

The glass looks cool. I could use a set of those.

This does, sadly, lead me to ask, how many people are now going to complain that none of this came in the box?

Do want, need money!

Well I was going to buy something, but 20 bucks for international shipping to Canada is a little too steep to justify for a simple pint glass

Somewhere, someone collects "3 X Moon" shirts, where X = {Wolf, Creeper, Turret, etc.}

So this is what they're doing instead of patching the damn game.

You know...
so that paying customers such as myself can actually play it.

TheDoctor455:
So this is what they're doing instead of patching the damn game.

You know...
so that paying customers such as myself can actually play it.

First complaint I've seen (been reading a lot of articles about it) - what's the problem?

TheDoctor455:
So this is what they're doing instead of patching the damn game.

You know...
so that paying customers such as myself can actually play it.

But you can't wear a patch. Or drink out of one, for that matter. Anyway, I like the look of the track jacket. I don't really need any more t-shirts, I think I have enough of those.

Captcha: randat Detection. What is a randat, and should I be worried about my current inability to detect one? There could be one in this room right now, for all I know!

...Didn't Minecraft JUST do this with Creepers? I would much rather spend it on that.

Haha, nice! I was hoping for a

Woodsey:

TheDoctor455:
So this is what they're doing instead of patching the damn game.

You know...
so that paying customers such as myself can actually play it.

First complaint I've seen (been reading a lot of articles about it) - what's the problem?

Well... I personally haven't been able to load any content other than "Robot Enrichment"... everything else just gets a black screen and then the game crashes. This is a PC version...

and I am aware of at least two multi-paged threads on the Steam forums filled with people that have a similar problem.
And as far as anyone knows... Valve hasn't even acknowledged the problem.

Thread 1: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847560

Thread 2: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847517&page=10

moose_man:
...Didn't Minecraft JUST do this with Creepers? I would much rather spend it on that.

Since my last post I've decided I want one with a turret, a creeper, and something else from another game. If it wouldn't get me slapped down hard for copyright violations, I'd throw one together myself and have Zazzle print it up for my own personal use.

These Portal shirts are literally...
*puts on sunglasses*
Out of this world
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just bought the Three Creeper Moon shirt, and now I have to buy this one (yes, HAVE). Damn all these cool shirts that I have to have shipped from overseas. Why can't there be more awesome T-Shirts in the UK?

I also really want this Mass effect shirt:

image

EDIT: Checked how much the 3 Turret Moon shirt would cost £25 inc shipping. Maybe next month once I've been paid.

TheDoctor455:

Woodsey:

TheDoctor455:
So this is what they're doing instead of patching the damn game.

You know...
so that paying customers such as myself can actually play it.

First complaint I've seen (been reading a lot of articles about it) - what's the problem?

Well... I personally haven't been able to load any content other than "Robot Enrichment"... everything else just gets a black screen and then the game crashes. This is a PC version...

and I am aware of at least two multi-paged threads on the Steam forums filled with people that have a similar problem.
And as far as anyone knows... Valve hasn't even acknowledged the problem.

Thread 1: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847560

Thread 2: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847517&page=10

Has anyone sent it to Steam support?

I take it you've done the usual stuff, checking cache integrity and whatnot?

And it did release today (the middle of the night for them), I would imagine they're on it.

List of possible fixes:

"Problem #4: Encounter black screen after launching Portal 2

Possible Solution #1:

Verify the integrity of your game cache

Possible Solution #2:

Run Portal 2 as Admin

Possible Solution #3:

Launch Portal 2 in windowed mode

Possible Solution #3:

If you're Steam Folder is located at an external hard disk, transfer it to your current internal hdd where your OS is installed"

Woodsey:

TheDoctor455:

Woodsey:

First complaint I've seen (been reading a lot of articles about it) - what's the problem?

Well... I personally haven't been able to load any content other than "Robot Enrichment"... everything else just gets a black screen and then the game crashes. This is a PC version...

and I am aware of at least two multi-paged threads on the Steam forums filled with people that have a similar problem.
And as far as anyone knows... Valve hasn't even acknowledged the problem.

Thread 1: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847560

Thread 2: http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1847517&page=10

Has anyone sent it to Steam support?

I take it you've done the usual stuff, checking cache integrity and whatnot?

And it did release today (the middle of the night for them), I would imagine they're on it.

List of possible fixes:

"Problem #4: Encounter black screen after launching Portal 2

Possible Solution #1:

Verify the integrity of your game cache

Possible Solution #2:

Run Portal 2 as Admin

Possible Solution #3:

Launch Portal 2 in windowed mode

Possible Solution #3:

If you're Steam Folder is located at an external hard disk, transfer it to your current internal hdd where your OS is installed"

Yes. Everyone on that thread, and myself have already tried those methods.

They work for some but not all, or even a majority.

And oh...
I'm hoping they are working on it.

But...

It would still be nice for them to tell us that they are.

So far...

one of the threads I posted got up to 37 pages of people trying to come up with workarounds and get Valve's attention.

And Valve's response?

Dead silence at the time of posting.

Where's the Wheatley plushie, dammit? I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

I am buying some of this. I don't have any money, but..... Portal 2 apparel!

Also thank you THANK YOU for being so hard on spoilers. I've been playing all afternoon and I'm still terrified I'm going to see something....

The artwork is surprisingly expensive, even the unsigned and unnumbered stuff.

I am never a huge fan of gaming merchandise, not because I think there is anything wrong with it, but because they never seem to have pictures/shirts that I'd particularly want. How about a turret shirt that says "I don't hate you", or something like that, that would be cool.

Well, the merchandise is certainly reminescent of the game...

I can't afford that yet either ¬.¬

MarsProbe:

But you can't wear a patch.

Wrong :D

It's funny because the shirt sort of has a sploiler on it.

This should have been included on the disc!

Seriously, people are more likely to complain about fake shirts worn by fake characters, rather than real shirts they could actually use in real life.

Xzi:
Where's the Wheatley plushie, dammit? I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

I want a little model Peabody for my desk. (I'm always Peabody when we play co-op, and I just love the little guy.)

Xzi:
Where's the Wheatley plushie, dammit? I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

seriously i was hoping for a talking wheatley!

I really want that "Aperture's Requiem" lithograph, but not enough to pay $40 + shipping to Canada. If they run it off later as a regular poster like the rest of them, I'll buy it.

shadowstriker86:

Xzi:
Where's the Wheatley plushie, dammit? I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

seriously i was hoping for a talking wheatley!

Pah! I want the soundtrack, especially

EDIT:
Oh and a model of

Xzi:
Where's the Wheatley plushie, dammit? I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

I'd prefer a

Eh. I'm not big on 3WM or the spinoffs/parodies/whatever. But that "my new boss is a robot" poster? I need to remember to get one of those when I have some money to spare.

Also, I'm not a woman, but if I was I'd be all over Aperture tank top considering that's what Chell is wearing for the whole game. It's cool that they have that in the store.

John Funk:
(And by the way, any genuine spoilers in the comment thread that are not A.) clearly marked and B.) behind a spoiler cut will result in a swift and permanent ban from our forums. That crap ain't cool.)

Best ending to an article ever.

thenumberthirteen:
I also really want this Mass effect shirt:

image

Okay, I need to remember to get one of those too.

John Funk:

So I've been pretty much playing Portal 2 all day today. It's really awesome. I just got to the part where I had to spoiler the spoiler in order to spoiler spoiler and then spoiler did spoiler and I spoilered into the spoiler only to spoiler my spoiler with the Portal Gun. (Note: Not an actual spoiler).

Did you remember to spoiler to spoiler so that spoiler is spoiler? Because I thought that was spoiler.

OT: That shirt is pretty awesome. Should get it when I have the money.

Might get me the jacket or hoodie. Apecture Science! woo

Formica Archonis:
Somewhere, someone collects "3 X Moon" shirts, where X = {Wolf, Creeper, Turret, etc.}

That would be me.

 

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