Serious Sam Studio Zings EA's Origin

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Serious Sam Studio Zings EA's Origin

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Devolver Digital has given up on plans to launch its own digital distribution service and will instead just release Serious Sam 3: BFE on Steam, where people might actually want to buy it.

The upcoming shooter Serious Sam 3: BFE was originally intended to debut on Devolver Digital's new, proprietary distribution platform, codenamed "Krundle." Following further study, however, Devolver CFO and massage parlor enthusiast Fork Parker decided to pull the plug on the whole thing.

"I think we could have revolutionized how I make a shitload of money," Parker said in a statement. "But the reality is, Steam is an amazing digital platform. That's where we want to distribute our top-tier titles like Serious Sam 3: BFE to generate the kind of revenue it takes to buy things like velvet-covered jet skis. Holy crap, did I just invent those?"

Krundle was intended to bring an entirely new level of customer service to gamers, with preorder incentives like in-game nachos and unexploded Cold War munitions, $50 free-to-play releases that people are free to play as much as they want after they pay 50 bucks and complimentary Portuguese adult films with every purchase over $200. And while Devolver has been forced to step back from the project, Parker said it would continue to do its best to make good games and also reminded consumers that other distribution platforms remain available.

"I guess consumers could also sign up for EA's Origin service if they're into ten-year-old train simulators," he said. "But you can be sure those sons of bitches will never deliver in-game nachos."

Serious Sam 3: BFE comes out later this year on the PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. And no, we still don't know what BFE means.

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C'mon. That's funny.

You can bet these guys are all talking to each other, so this kind of satire is probably pointing us in the right direction.

Railroad tycoon? I don't get it.

I looked at EAs wikipedia page and they had some published some awesome games in the 80s. Archon, Starflight, M.U.L.E., and the mighty yet-to-be remade Mail Order Monsters.

I thought people weren't buying the new Serious Sam because it was shit.

OT: That's not really that clever. It was about a "Family Guy" on the topical humour scale and that's not a compliment.

didn't BFE meant "Battle for Earth"?

or was it "Before First Encounter"... huh considering who Devolver Digital are and what kind of game Serious Sam is, it might as well mean the latter

manythings:
I thought peope weren't buying the new Serious Sam because it was shit.

We know hardly anything about it except for a level in Egypt and Serious Sam's trademark balls-to-the-wall action.

teh_Canape:
didn't BFE meant "Battle for Earth"?

or was it "Before First Encounter"... huh considering who Devolver Digital are and what kind of game Serious Sam is, it might as well mean the latter

I'd expect some more like "Big Fucking E_______".

OT: I love these people. I haven't really been paying attention to the game, but I might get it for the lulz it'll contain.

Phlakes:

teh_Canape:
didn't BFE meant "Battle for Earth"?

or was it "Before First Encounter"... huh considering who Devolver Digital are and what kind of game Serious Sam is, it might as well mean the latter

I'd expect some more like "Big Fucking E_______".

not sure, Serious Sam hasn't actually had swear words, so far only in Second Encounter, in which he confesses "I may have dropped a few F-bombs here and there, but my assistants picked them all up, also, I may have said a little curse here and there, but who gives a shit?"

It's like MDK all over again

JeanLuc761:

manythings:
I thought peope weren't buying the new Serious Sam because it was shit.

We know hardly anything about it except for a level in Egypt and Serious Sam's trademark balls-to-the-wall action.

It was more of lazy zing to go with theirs.

Funny guy. Doesn't seem to like Origin much. Can't say I blame him.

Traditionally BFE means Bum F*** Egypt, meaning out in the middle of nowhere. Like out in BFE.

Seeing that the first Serious Sam was called The First Encounter and SS3 will be a prequel this leads me to deduce that BFE stands for Before First Encounter.

Or I could be a dirty-mouthed asshole and say it stands for Butt Fuck Egypt.

The choice is yours.

I love this guys press releases. He always makes me laugh. So disappointed they canned Krundle though, that sounded almost as awesome as velvet covered jet skis...

manythings:

JeanLuc761:

manythings:
I thought peope weren't buying the new Serious Sam because it was shit.

We know hardly anything about it except for a level in Egypt and Serious Sam's trademark balls-to-the-wall action.

It was more of lazy zing to go with theirs.

it went beyond lazy and became stupid

my biggest gripe about the new serious sam is that it doesnt have a effin release date yet

I love Fork Parker, he makes mildly insane developers with a soapbox look good.

Great news. I'm not sure if I could deal with another digital distribution platform no matter what awesome incentives, Steam and GoG are kind of attached to me now and they are mild sauce compared to what Krundle would have done.

Maybe Sam can deliver unto us what the almighty Duke fell absolutely short on. Also, keep up the great press releases, love the humor.

Odd sort of press release, isn't it?

I don't mind Origin in principle. I guess I'll form an opinion once I try downloading something from it. Assuming it goes reasonably smooth, I'm good. Some people seem to go into shock at the thought of another program on their computers, but I think they're exaggerating, where they could just say "I dislike EA" and get it off their chests.

Well thats good i guess but i would rather use these guys Digital Distribution-platform than Origin.

Andy Chalk:
Serious Sam 3: BFE comes out later this year on the PC, Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. And no, we still don't know what BFE means.

Before First Encounter.

Man, you just gotta love that Parker! He's insane in so many ways, but so are his games, and you gotta love insane games!
I think they could have made Krundle work, but this will probably benefit them in the end, and that poor guy deserves his velvet jet ski!

Smart move. Saturating the market with digital platforms right now would just confuse customers to the point of just saying, "Frack it, I'm going to Best Buy."
With Steam he can hock DLC and Prepurchase incentives and still make

a shitload of money.

Until Origin goes through its birthing and growing pains, I wouldn't be too eager to hop on that train. Steam was a headache beyond belief until Valve got the kinks out. One wonders how quick EA will be to troubleshoot Origin's bugs.

Strixvaliano:
Great news. I'm not sure if I could deal with another digital distribution platform no matter what awesome incentives, Steam and GoG are kind of attached to me now and they are mild sauce compared to what Krundle would have done.

Maybe Sam can deliver unto us what the almighty Duke fell absolutely short on. Also, keep up the great press releases, love the humor.

Sam's schtick has always been picking up where Duke failed to show. Now Sammy has a chance to maintain his reputation.

Obligatory: Bam! Tit job.

Blind Sight:
I love Fork Parker, he makes mildly insane developers with a soapbox look good.

Agreed, more game devs should be more like Parker and then we might get some more fun games!

Any hesitations I had to buying this have been thrown away. Of course, that would assume that I had hesitations about buying it!

Bring on the silly shooters of old!

I downloaded Hot Pursuit from Origin as a trial with the software... frickin loved it. Downloads it as an installer so you then choose where to install it as if you had the disc in the drive. Once its installed you can still use Origin to play it though, single click and you're in.

Aside from that its essentially identical from Steam; friends list, ingame interface, store, etc. The only other main difference I noticed is that its a tad less resource intensive but lacks the same range of games obviously.

Well this is some good news.

All they have to do now is tell GAME to go to hell, when they demand it be pulled from the UK Steam store.

BFE probably means Bumfuck Egypt. Like the old saying "We're going out to bum-fuck Egypt someplace". It would make sense since that's where he starts off in the first encounter.

This is how you do it. I almost want to preorder it already. Serious sam is great fun.
As far as origin is concerned I welcome it. Always good to see competition.

I think it stands for 'Before First Encounter', seeing as it's Serious Sam FE and Serious Sam SE for 1 and 2 respectively.
I love these guy's sense of humour. I had to install Origin to play the Battlefield Alpha, and it has no appeal whatsoever.

*EDIT*
I'll clarify my feelings on Origin:
It's much 'lighter' than the comparatively clunky Steam, but it has no real use other than having a slightly nicer feel to it; it's tiny library which due to being run by EA (meaning it will only be EA games, because these companies always imagine there is more competition in sales than there is and would never stock another one's games) causes it to always have a small library. It won't crash and burn, but it's a very niche program and offers nothing new to make it worth buying from it. All it will ever serve to do is inconvenience users of other Digital Distribution software.
If they were to use their status as the distributor of the games to allow them to sell the games at better prices (which they can do, they just don't want to), changed the service to offer something unique, and put in the level of user friendliness GoG has, then I would happily accept it. Unfortunately EA didn't consider that.

Worgen:

manythings:

JeanLuc761:

We know hardly anything about it except for a level in Egypt and Serious Sam's trademark balls-to-the-wall action.

It was more of lazy zing to go with theirs.

it went beyond lazy and became stupid

my biggest gripe about the new serious sam is that it doesnt have a effin release date yet

Their's was far lazier than mine. "Hey, that company is doing a thing to make money... FOR GOLDEN HATS! HEY! Topical humour."

manythings:

Worgen:

manythings:

It was more of lazy zing to go with theirs.

it went beyond lazy and became stupid

my biggest gripe about the new serious sam is that it doesnt have a effin release date yet

Their's was far lazier than mine. "Hey, that company is doing a thing to make money... FOR GOLDEN HATS! HEY! Topical humour."

it also had the added difference of actually being funny

Worgen:

manythings:

Worgen:

it went beyond lazy and became stupid

my biggest gripe about the new serious sam is that it doesnt have a effin release date yet

Their's was far lazier than mine. "Hey, that company is doing a thing to make money... FOR GOLDEN HATS! HEY! Topical humour."

it also had the added difference of actually being funny

If you really like Family Guy I'm sure it's hilarious. If you like people who have actually attempted things like Satire it's just... such poor observational humour attached to "wacky" imagery.

manythings:

Worgen:

manythings:

Their's was far lazier than mine. "Hey, that company is doing a thing to make money... FOR GOLDEN HATS! HEY! Topical humour."

it also had the added difference of actually being funny

If you really like Family Guy I'm sure it's hilarious. If you like people who have actually attempted things like Satire it's just... such poor observational humour attached to "wacky" imagery.

you do realize your initial statement was much closer to bad humor then anything they or I did, you might want to quit now before you mess up more

Worgen:

manythings:

Worgen:

it also had the added difference of actually being funny

If you really like Family Guy I'm sure it's hilarious. If you like people who have actually attempted things like Satire it's just... such poor observational humour attached to "wacky" imagery.

you do realize your initial statement was much closer to bad humor then anything they or I did, you might want to quit now before you mess up more

Did that become unclear after I said it was a lazy joke just like theirs? Good work on the recall.

manythings:

Worgen:

manythings:

If you really like Family Guy I'm sure it's hilarious. If you like people who have actually attempted things like Satire it's just... such poor observational humour attached to "wacky" imagery.

you do realize your initial statement was much closer to bad humor then anything they or I did, you might want to quit now before you mess up more

Did that become unclear after I said it was a lazy joke just like theirs? Good work on the recall.

it wasnt a lazy joke, it was just a stupid statement, it woudl be like saying "hur hur hur, halo 7 is such shit" there is no joke, just a stupid statement

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