This Is Why Seducing Vader Is A Bad idea

 Pages 1 2 3 NEXT
 

This Is Why Seducing Vader Is A Bad idea

image

Search your feelings: You know this isn't going to end well.

If there was one thing to take away from George Lucas's Star Wars Prequel Trilogy (aside from the fact that Jar Jar Binks needs to die in a fire), it was that Anakin Skywalker probably wasn't the healthiest person to be in a relationship with. However, it turns out that Skywalker is apparently even worse to hook up with after he became more machine than man, based on a new series of photos.

The series "Dreaming of the Dark Side" was created by Marc & Louis Photography. The photos show just what happens when a sexy Twi'lek lady tries to seduce Darth Vader and - it looks like - give him a lap dance. Unsurprisingly, the seduction doesn't end well and a hapless Storm Trooper winds up having to clean up the mess.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'm more impressed or creeped out by this photo project. On one hand, the photography and costumes are stylish as Hell. On the other hand, it's about Vader killing a woman who tries to get down his Sithy-y pants.

You can see the full series in the gallery below and judge for yourself. Lord Vader has been a popular subject for photo projects, though the last photo series showed him on holiday instead of murdering women who were hitting on him.

Source: Marc and Louis Photography via Geeks Are Sexy

Permalink

Another thing about trying to seduce Vader is that, he's an angry stump of a man.

Is it just me, or in #6 does he look like he's going "YES!" with an arm pump.

So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

This looks like a deleted scene from Sucker Punch to me. That's mainly based on the last photo though.

You didn't tell us it was all a dream, man...

Besides, that is probably what would happen. Vader just isn't a people person.

Darth, dude, I'm trying hard not to hate you, but first you have a chance at Natalie goddamned Portman and blow it, and now this?

antipunt:
So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Heh, he did after all stick his saber into her...
I'm just glad she wasn't dreaming of Chewwy...

To be fair, she probably almost killed him by messing with his chest buttons. She had no clue what they did, chick shouldn't of gone and touched them!

Hell, he might of been into it until she hit the "kill boner" button!

The girl wasn't dreaming of BBC, she was dreaming of Vader penetrating her with his lightsaber.

Well whatever helps her sleep at night. I'm not one to judge.

At least it wasn't a guy in that last shot.

I don't understand how the lightsaber can be used as a phallic symbol. If a woman was to, er, have it "inserted", it would cut right through her.

antipunt:
So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

OT: what's up with that chick's head

You know, it might be because after burning up in a lava pit like he did his "lightsaber" might not be functional. Or present. That would be embarrassing.

teh_Canape:

antipunt:
So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

OT: what's up with that chick's head

Wasn't the first time I've been associated with him. This may be problematic...

My theory is that Vader wasn't up to the task, and she got killed out of frustration...

TheDarkEricDraven:
I don't understand how the lightsaber can be used as a phallic symbol. If a woman was to, er, have it "inserted", it would cut right through her.

That's a common theme in art (and religion) throughout history. Look at the Ecstasy of St. Theresa.

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying." (From Theresa's autobiography, from Wikipedia)

It sounds to me like she had a sexy/violent dream, awoke, then ascribed religious feelings to it.
Also see Freud.

Seriously? Fanfiction? An article about fanfiction?
Because that's essentially what this is. Granted, it's far more tasteful than most fanfiction on the net, but cmon!

Sums it up pretty well...

Sassafrass:
And on the other hand, here is a reason for men to try and seduce Vader.

Two good reasons, my friend.

Atmos Duality:
Seriously? Fanfiction? An article about fanfiction?
Because that's essentially what this is. Granted, it's far more tasteful than most fanfiction on the net, but cmon!

So? Nothing wrong with fanfiction if it's good. Granted, most of it isn't but that's the writers' fault not the medium's.

"George Lucas is the worst thing to happen to Star Wars since...no, wait, George Lucas is the worse thing to happen to Star Wars."
--My uncle

The Prequels need more than just the removal or Jar Jar Binks. I think the removal of all of it would be a significant improval.

Moving along now, I find this highly amusing. Out of curiosity, though, what is that bulbous thing on her head? I never really got into the Star Wars universe, so I really don't know.

MindBullets:

So? Nothing wrong with fanfiction if it's good. Granted, most of it isn't but that's the writers' fault not the medium's.

Most fanfiction I've seen is about as fun as getting one's head shaved with razor wire.
Electrified razor wire.
Under a heat lamp.

OT:Huh...nice Twi'lek costume work.

...Can anyone else picture the phone-call between him and Palpatine Later when vader asks him to cover up the whole mess?

Eh?

I see little point in creating this, though that's fanfic and prequels for you.

I'm offended.

Darth Vader wouldn't use his light saber in that situation, he'd force choke.

Make of that what you will.

thenumberthirteen:
Is it just me, or in #6 does he look like he's going "YES!" with an arm pump.

Well, see, to me it looks more like someone clenching their fist in barely contained rage...

That's the kind of thing that'd be more easy to spot if you saw the facial expressions involved, but with Vader, that's not going to happen.

TheDarkEricDraven:
I don't understand how the lightsaber can be used as a phallic symbol. If a woman was to, er, have it "inserted", it would cut right through her.

You're not really all that clear on what a phallic symbol is then.

A phallic symbol is anything that can, due to it's shape, and/or the way it is used, be interpreted as a substitute for a penis.

Also, there is a very long history of making comparisons between male genitals and weapons...

(It's also reflected in weird ways in language; the formal word for the female organ, 'vagina', is latin. But in roman times that word wasn't related to anatomy; It referred to a sheath for a sword.

But, if in it's original language, 'vagina' = 'scabbard', what does it say about how people tended to think about sex, that this word came to be used for female sexual organs?

Clearly it implies at the very least that male organs were viewed as having some relationship to weaponry. (And also suggesting women are little more than a place you can stick your 'sword', but that's a different discussion entirely.)

Infernai:
...Can anyone else picture the phone-call between him and Palpatine Later when vader asks him to cover up the whole mess?

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

"There is a great disturbance in the Force..."

"Before we get to that, I need your help. I, uh, I killed a stripper."

"Again?"

"I need a couple stormtroopers. And some garbage bags."

Danceofmasks:
I'm offended.

Darth Vader wouldn't use his light saber in that situation, he'd force choke.

Make of that what you will.

He tried that once.

antipunt:
So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

Sounds like the Left Rights Song "Darth Vader"

Sassafrass:

Danceofmasks:
I'm offended.

Darth Vader wouldn't use his light saber in that situation, he'd force choke.

Make of that what you will.

He tried that once.

AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Win. Just win

teh_Canape:

antipunt:
So here's my theory:

It's a girl having a wet dream. The light saber is a phallic symbol.

>_>

OT: what's up with that chick's head

Indeed Darth Vader is a VERY Phallic symbol.
BIG
BLACK
METALLIC

What more could a girl want?

Oh plus he probably has repressed sexual feelings for his mother....
See StarWars Episode 2 and Freud

So Vader really did need to force choke a bitch?

Interesting photos, creepy as hell, but interesting.

That's kind of hot ... and disturbing at the same time.

I don't even know why someone would want to do this. This is just so misogynistic and nasty, and it's not even funny or clever.

 Pages 1 2 3 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Posting on this forum is disabled.