Worst Surgery Ever: Man Sues Hospital For Implanting GPS

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Worst Surgery Ever: Man Sues Hospital For Implanting GPS

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Don't you just hate it when you go in for surgery and wind up with a GPS unit implanted under your skin? A new lawsuit reveals that a guy is claiming this actually happened.

Lawsuits against hospitals for misconduct and/or carelessness aren't anything new. We've all heard at least one urban legend about a surgical rag that was left inside someone or a person getting the wrong limb amputated. That said, a new suit filed against a medical institution is making some pretty extreme claims about how a patient wound up having a GPS tracking device implanted into him without his permission or knowledge.

No, seriously, you read that right. Michael Woolman of Lincoln, Nebraska, has filed suit against Baylor Health Hopsital in Houston, claiming that he went in for tonsil and sinus surgery. After the procedure was over, he discovered a bloody armpit when he got up to go to the bathroom; sometime later, he learned that his armpit contained a post-surgery souvenir: a GPS tracking unit. Exactly how he discovered the GPS unit isn't entirely clear.

Here's part of Woolman's description about what actually went down:

I was in ,"The Room after ,surgery& I needed ,to go to the bathroom .
I got up and a nurse assisted me to ,the bathroom.
I was going to the bathroom and , I finished.
All a sudden ,My cloth started falling off, I tried to pull ,my cloths up and ,,
My arm pit was bloody, Well I thought nothing of it, at the time.
Well , I came in for a since & noise surgery,? Why is my arm pit bloody ??????
Now after ,knowing ,what Bryan LGH was doing IS
Trying a new way to track people,
By inserting a GPS Device in people, Illegally.

Woolman clearly doesn't have a lawyer helping out with the suit. Apparently in the section asking for what relief he's seeking, he wrote "pain and suffering and mental anguish" without any specific demands.

OK, so let's be honest here: It seems likely that Woolman's lawsuit is just an attempt to shake down the hospital for some money. If (and that's a mighty big "if") Woolman is telling the truth - and can prove it - then he's in for a pretty serious payday.

Source: Dallas Observer via Geek

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I think that GPS gave him issues with proper spelling and grammar. It looks like a 12 year old wrote this description.

I bet he's shaking them down, it's not like Apple did his surgery.

buy teh haloz:
I think that GPS gave him issues with proper spelling and grammar. It looks like a 12 year old wrote this description.

And not just because of the grammar. It's so damned far fetched. Not saying it's impossible, but come ON.

People who spell Sinus as Since and can't find a lawyer for themselves?

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If it's true, this man should get a lot and deserves it. Treating people like cattle is totally unacceptable.

Mr.Numbers:
People who spell Sinus as Since and can't find a lawyer for themselves?

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Okay, this one actually made me laugh. :D

Come to think of it, why was his armpit bloody? That seems weird...
Not to say that this guy isn't a nutcase, it's just that now I'm curious.

Scandalous if true. I won't deny it, this sounds fishy to me, but if it actually turns out to be legit... 0_0

If true then the illuminati are real and their experiments in controlling the population have finally been illuminated!

I find this story extremely suspect, especially considering the description he gave (which is just riddled with shitty spelling and grammar), and the fact that he has no demands or lawyers.

I smell another weird EA marketing ploy.

[quote="ike42" post="7.308728.12457438"]I smell another weird EA marketing ploy.[/quote

You, my friend, win the internet today.

Avatar Roku:

buy teh haloz:
I think that GPS gave him issues with proper spelling and grammar. It looks like a 12 year old wrote this description.

And not just because of the grammar. It's so damned far fetched. Not saying it's impossible, but come ON.

It's pretty damn easy to check though. Open it up, dig around a bit, and you're done.

ike42:
I smell another weird EA marketing ploy.

Is EA releasing some dystopian Big Brother game then?

Ok, so finding an incision in your armpit is probably evidence enough that someone did surgery there, but how the heck would he know they implanted something, let alone that it was a GPS tracking device? Yeah, I think the psych ward will probably be his next hospital stay,

If this is legitimate... Well, actually, I wouldn't say it's some government method to see where we all are. This is too blatant and stupid to be recognised as a government conspiracy, it would be much more subtle if it was. :P

Yeesh. Hope it wasn't one of those BRIAN BLESSED nav-sats...

vansau:

ike42:
I smell another weird EA marketing ploy.

You, my friend, win the internet today.

I'm with vansau on this. It does, however, remind me of one of the big paranoid schizophrenic rants about how they're being implanted with GPS modules. I swear I've heard of this at least five times before - and it might be from David Icke.

vansau:

I was in ,"The Room after ,surgery& I needed ,to go to the bathroom .
I got up and a nurse assisted me to ,the bathroom.
I was going to the bathroom and , I finished.
All a sudden ,My cloth started falling off, I tried to pull ,my cloths up and ,,
My arm pit was bloody, Well I thought nothing of it, at the time.
Well , I came in for a since & noise surgery,? Why is my arm pit bloody ??????
Now after ,knowing ,what Bryan LGH was doing IS
Trying a new way to track people,
By inserting a GPS Device in people, Illegally.

Well one things for sure. If he's representing himself, it doesn't matter if he's right or not. He aint gonna win it.

That honestly reads as though a child was practicing his writing homework and his mother said, 'needs more commas'.

So he judiciously applied them, without a second thought.

I seriously doubt he's got all the necessary hoop jumping all straightened out in his head, ready for the barrage of lawyers this hospital is bound to unleash upon the poor fellow.

I'm suprised that he could spell GPS to be honest. My bet on which EA game this is for would be...Dante's Inferno 2: Armpit Apocalypsening

Cowabungaa:

Is EA releasing some dystopian Big Brother game then?

Hmm...would Origin fit that description?

This doesn't sound legitimate at all, to be honest. Though I will concede that all sorts of hoopla and experiments have existed and probably still exist. Just some creepy old dudes with a neat idea. Look at mental asylum/sanitarium abuse in the past. I can't imagine some of the nonsense that went on in those places.

Who's going to believe a crazy person?

I'm almost inclined to believe his claim.

You'd have to be pretty damn crazy to have a delusion of a GPS in your armpit. It's not like it's something hard to disprove. They just have to check his armpit.

Read the report out-loud, sounds like your doing a William Shatner impression.

If this guy asked me to defend him in court as his lawyer, I'd tell him to get lost. But with his new GPS, I don't think he can get lost!

I'm so funny.

My question is, why are we not doing this to criminals? Yeah the sex offenders registry is nice but why not when we finally release em from prison, cut em open and shove a tracking device in em. Somewhere deep where they can't just rip it out themselves.

Cheshire the Cat:
My question is, why are we not doing this to criminals? Yeah the sex offenders registry is nice but why not when we finally release em from prison, cut em open and shove a tracking device in em. Somewhere deep where they can't just rip it out themselves.

Human rights, anyone? Even ex-prisoners have them.

Umm it should all be written in the surgery notes, there is your proof. If it is not, then he is most likely lying.
Also. Get the guy in to MRI, that should give you your proof, and also remove the thing in the progress and even disable it, everything in one go. PERFECT!

OhJohnNo:
Human rights, anyone? Even ex-prisoners have them.

1) Whose dumbass idea was that? :P
2) Tell that to Norway when a couple years ago they refused to send a US citizen back to USA to face charges since according to them US prisons do not even meet basic human rights standards.

Rapists, murderers and violent offenders do not deserve human rights. So yeah, GPSing em is too good for em in my opinion but its still more palatable to the weak willed civies than executing the scum on the spot.

Cheshire the Cat:
My question is, why are we not doing this to criminals? Yeah the sex offenders registry is nice but why not when we finally release em from prison, cut em open and shove a tracking device in em. Somewhere deep where they can't just rip it out themselves.

So basically, you do one criminal offense that leads you into prison, and after that you will loose yout human rights for privacy, forever. Just think how funny it would be if you would be misjudged. Also, planting unecesary devices in to human body is extremely dangereous un healthy, the immune system could react to the devices, or the surrounding tissues could get irritated and swell and cause punch of complications, specially if it is not secured to a certain part, it could move and under physical stress tear or break something. Only place where it couldn't be dug out is around heart/lungs/liver and stomach, dangereous to put anything near those. If you ever would need to take a X-ray or MRI, that would be fucking hilarious sight of the device frying out inside you or popping out inside MRI. Too risky, prisoners are still humans and in western countries, we spend enough money on them to begin with.

Also, if you are human -> you have human rights. And there is no one and no right for anyone to remove them from you.

Cheshire the Cat:

OhJohnNo:
Human rights, anyone? Even ex-prisoners have them.

1) Whose dumbass idea was that? :P
2) Tell that to Norway when a couple years ago they refused to send a US citizen back to USA to face charges since according to them US prisons do not even meet basic human rights standards.

Rapists, murderers and violent offenders do not deserve human rights. So yeah, GPSing em is too good for em in my opinion but its still more palatable to the weak willed civies than executing the scum on the spot.

So they have no right or a change to take a turn to the straight road? It is nice how you condemn criminals to be criminals forever without a change to become a "human" again. How very nice of you. just think how nice it would be if someone would be misjudged. And I know that in America prosecutors are always honest and never have tried or tampered with the evidence. I would OK this GPS system only if we can make sure that criminal investigation is perfect, jury and judges make nu human errors and prosecutors can't be or get corrupted. And since we are humans and so are they, it wont happen.

Also system like this exists already in a form, it is called house arrest.

vansau:
Apparently in the section asking for what relief he's seeking, he wrote "pain and suffering and mental anguish" without any specific demands.

Well if he demands it just give it to him already. A good lawyer could probably turn that into a dispensation of human rights or something.
Unless he counters with the insanity card which, judging from so far, seems like the best move.

FalloutJack:
Yeesh. Hope it wasn't one of those BRIAN BLESSED nav-sats...

Oh, that'd be awesome!

Additionally, the title of the newspiece reflects the content for once.

Cheshire the Cat:
My question is, why are we not doing this to criminals? Yeah the sex offenders registry is nice but why not when we finally release em from prison, cut em open and shove a tracking device in em. Somewhere deep where they can't just rip it out themselves.

Once they are released, they are supposed to be rehabilitated and become part of society again. If you know they are going to re-offend, you shouldn't let them out.

Well the only way to know for sure I guess is to dig in there and fish it out for evidence?

...Unless he went into the bathroom and cut open his own armpits I dunno what to think about that.

I mean even if doctors and surgeons WERE doing that I'd like to think that the people supposed to be treating my health are a little more intelligent than to leave the place they placed a GPS tracker bloody and sore...and under the flipping armpit, I mean REALLY?

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