Scientists Want To Put Spiders In Your Blood

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*rips off shirt*
I'LL TAKE A MILLION!

Earnest Cavalli:

On the other hand, if these 'bots suddenly develop a taste for chemicals found in other, non-damaged parts of the body, they could do irreparable harm to their hosts. Unfortunately, I still can't spin that into a hellish future dystopia where we all slowly suffocate inside cocoons while our robot masters daintily sup upon our vital fluids, but here's hoping Sen can get all the kinks worked out before someone ends up with their prostate glued to their left arm.

I was all for the idea until I red the last paragraph

So... Pennsylvania State University is working on creating... the Borg. Great idea!

They are no... resistance is futile. you will be assimilated.

Seems kinda cool. I mean, if they can make it work for one problem, they can begin to make it work for more things. I mean, if we have these things in our body containing chemicals, it can be a means to more effectively release medicine, making the same dosage significantly more effective than losing half of it in stomach acids. If they can get this to work well, I think it would be a huge advantage in medicine.

No no no no no no. I don't care what they sat, no pidwrs in my blood. No spiders in my blood. I hate spiders. They nice to ecosystem bur mean to me. No spiders. Please. Pretty please.

Forget eating you, all they would have to do is spin some blood clots into your brain.

I hate spiders and I hate spider webs I don't need them in my blood.

And to think, we laughed at the concept of taking cover for a few seconds to regain health...

This would be amazingly helpful, but they'd need to also invent a kill switch for these little robots. Like some sort of pill you can take, or a visit to a doctor with a special machine. If these things can repair an internal injury before it gets bad, great. But I don't like the idea of them living in my body forever. Too many things could go wrong.

About time! My greatest fear is that I'll just miss the whole nanotech thing and live a regular human lifespan. Sure, I'll die sooner or later, but I damn well lan to make a good, long run of it, and nanospiders that keep me in one piece sound like one of the components of a long and healthy life.

There isn't a hand big enough to apply the facepalm I'ld need to express the amount of fail in this posting.
How in merry hell do osmotic propelled spheres equal spiders ??

Woundtreatment from inside the body sounds spiffy allright - but I have to question the effectivity of the procedure. The machines need to be able to make some complex decisions to be effective - as in how to apply the medical glue to the wound to properly seal it.
Judging from their size, you'ld need a whole damn lot of them, so either you ramp up on the nanotechnology to mass produce these bots or venture into the dreaded grounds of self replication.

I'ld wanna see the face of the poor SOB that has to face the medias with news of self replicating machines.

I can't see how the bots would be benefitial in treating a life threatening wound - I can't see them beeing effective enough to make a difference.

...I believe this idea has Cave Jonhson's seal of approval.
image

Though, in all seriousness, sounds like an interesting medical advancement, that's for sure. I'd like to see what become of this.

does that mean i could end up like Shino? awesome

LorienvArden:
There isn't a hand big enough to apply the facepalm I'ld need to express the amount of fail in this posting.
How in merry hell do osmotic propelled spheres equal spiders ??

Title: "Spiders in your blood"

3rd Paragraph: "Not really."

Grrr...

Somebody's been watching "Fringe".

Evil!Universe Charlie has spiders in *his* blood.

QUIET PLEASE

SCIENCE IS HAPPENING

Wait a minute. Is Pennsylvania State University secretly Aperture Labs?

If so, MIT would be Black Mesa.

Finally, people will stop treating me like a crazy person when I say "I GOT SPIDERS IN MAH BRAIN!!!!"

Earnest Cavalli:
On the other hand, if these 'bots suddenly develop a taste for chemicals found in other, non-damaged parts of the body, they could do irreparable harm to their hosts.

This was my first thought as well. I'm also inclined to ask, what happens when they have no more "holes" to repair? And surely identifying problems (and teaching them to microspiders?) to 100% certainty isn't that easy. If they start patching up something they shouldn't, we're fucked.

Another question. Just how would our own bodies feel about hosting these things? The immune system doesn't take kindly to intruders, there is quite a few diseases out there that happen because the body simply thinks it's sick, or under attack, even if it's realistically perfectly fine.

Oh and to mimic what others are already asking (and I've myself pointed out in multiple Escapist News posts so far), where does the original article mention, allude to or has anything to do with spiders?

What's next? Catterpillars in my semen?

Spiders? In MY blood?

Sure, why not?

Spider Pig.
Spider Pig.
Does whatever a
Spider pig does.
Can he swing,
from a web?
No he can't
He's a pig.
Loooook ouuutttt.
He is the spider pig.

kannibus:
And to think, we laughed at the concept of taking cover for a few seconds to regain health...

I lol'd, good one.

OP: This is... cool. And I'd imagine it would be very useful. Now, time to work on my doomsday EMP device...

Witty Name Here:
Don't worry, the chances of the blood spiders rising up against their human overlords from the inside is only around 17% now!

But in all seriousness, even if this cured all diseases, I would not want a bunch of spiders crawling around inside my blood, microscopic or not.

I suppose you'd be one of those people who decided to die of infection because penicillin was created from fungi and fungi is "icky".

I really hope people talking about how they fear being controlled by these things are joking, I really do. Otherwise there are some just tremendously stupid people here.

Doclector:
No no no no no no. I don't care what they sat, no pidwrs in my blood. No spiders in my blood. I hate spiders. They nice to ecosystem bur mean to me. No spiders. Please. Pretty please.

They're not spiders for god sake. They're no more spiders then Bacteriophages are.

image

Why the hell does this article pointlessly sensationalize aspects of this, and why the hell do people fall for it?

Having played a lot of Cyberpunk 2020 in my youth all I can say is get fucking cracking on this one guys. Next thing I want is a skinweave, muscle and bone lace level 3 and... a Mr STUDD. *cough*

Piecewise:
Why the hell does this article pointlessly sensationalize aspects of this, and why the hell do people fall for it?

It's called nerd humour.

Relax people it's just a catalyzer ball... I do think that's a better name then spiders.
I can just see the adds now, "Need balls son? Get some balls today, Catalyzer Balls that is!"

The-in-ory this is pretty neat, but if it goes wrong for just one moment this shit could pump you full of clots so fast you couldn't even pull off that spiderman joke you were saving up all year.

Alphakirby:

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Did you read the article? Or did you just post in reply to the headline? There are no spiders, just journalists who confuse sensationalist headlines with good journalism.

This seems like a really bad and a really good idea all that the same time. On the one hand it might work and they could save countless lives by starting to repair injuries before the paramedics get their. But this could also go horribly wrong and they could accidentally liquefy someone's brain.
Also how exactly are you supposed to pitch "We're going to inject millions of tiny spider-like robots into your bloodstream" to people with arachnophobia?

Alphakirby:

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Could you possibly get over acting like a six year old girl and stop being put off by how 'icky' spiders are so we can look at this realistically?

Right, now while this may sound initially gross and horrible there is a possability that this could actually work. How do vaccines work? They inject what is essentially a weakened form of otherwise harmful and deadly viruses into your blood so you can develop an immunity to them.

With enough time and research put into it there's no conceievable reason that microspider-based healing couldn't be a possability (and it's hard to think of a reason that what would effectively amount to regeneration would be a bad thing).

This should be a movie: Spiders in a Bloodstream. I can just see Samuel L. Jackson saying, "I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDERS IN MY MOTHERFUCKING BLOOD!"

OT: Keep those Goddamn spider-like bots out of my fucking blood. Thank you.

EDIT: You know, this article kind of reminds me of this:

And it comes full circle as I learn of the amazing things going on in my own university from the website I use to procrastinate on my schoolwork. Good job, Escapist.

Earnest Cavalli:

The headline:
Scientists Want To Put Spiders In Your Blood

The content:
Each sphere is made up of two halves - one hemisphere is gold, the other silica - and looks like a gold-and-silver Christmas bauble.

You would think that, with all the trouble it has paying contributors that actually put work into their content, the Escapist wouldn't have any patience for the kind of cheap, blatantly lazy journalism that you deposit on this site in little steaming piles. It is unfortunate that you're still around.

I could see this having use if they had a 48 hour lifespan and could go to work within 2-3 minutes for those at war, kinda like a health pack.

You're a little late for this post. Go on netflix and watch the movie "Transcendant Man" he predicted this years ago and explained everything that will happen within the next 40 years.

McMullen:

Alphakirby:

Why,why in the name of fucking everything did scientists decide this was a good idea. SPIDERS. IN. YOUR. BLOOD.

I cannot imagine this having a good future impact,but then again,I'm a pessimist.

Did you read the article? Or did you just post in reply to the headline? There are no spiders, just journalists who confuse sensationalist headlines with good journalism.

Why yes I did,they are microspiders that heal you from the inside. I just don't trust technology until it's been perfected if it means the chance of death.

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