ThinkGeek Unveils Life-Size Portal 2 Sentry Turret

ThinkGeek Unveils Life-Size Portal 2 Sentry Turret


For only $25 you too can own a 40" tall sentry turret. The only caveat? It's inflatable.

Before I discuss why this thing is a bit of a tease, have an official description:

Drastic times call for drastic measures, friends of Science. Aperture Science had to make some cutbacks to the production line when OSHA shut down the main plant. Something about air quality or lead paint in the water pipes. Silly, really. That's what waivers are for. Anyhoo, we can't get you any real, bullet-firing turrets, but we did manage to hijack a pool float factory long enough to make a bunch of these inflatable ones.

Fill this 40" turret with all the hot air in your lungs (just think about life giving you lemons) and then position it wherever you need more protection: outside your baby's room, in front of the pie that's cooling, or by your swimming pool to keep the neighborhood kids at bay. Practice your best rendition of "Target acquired" and watch as people run away in fear.

Honestly, that sounds pretty cool. If nothing else, it would make a solid decoration, and the artwork on the inflatable itself is an excellent recreation of Valve's sentry turret aesthetics.

That said, we've seen better turrets over the past year. First there was Leigh Nunan and Jonathan Guberman's talking plush turret that was equal parts nostalgically heartwarming and genuinely adorable. Then, less than a month later, we found this spot-on, talking turret replica crafted by prop maker Ryan Palser whose only differentiation from Valve's original turret design was its lack of fully automatic machine guns.

On the other hand, neither of those two examples are available for purchase, so maybe you are better off picking up one of ThinkGeek's inflatable offerings. At least you don't have to worry about it cooing at you every time you walk into the room.

Source: ThinkGeek


Judging from that picture, it looks like I might have to get one to protect my Bawls.

Earnest Cavalli:
At least you don't have to worry about it cooing at you every time you walk into the room.

But that's the best part about those turrets. :3

Judging from that picture, it looks like I might have to get one to protect my Bawls.


I was gonna go for "life-sized sentry turret. Oh, bawls."

Want want want want want.

Though I'd prefer it to be of the non-inflateable variety.

i was stoked, till i saw it was a balloon .... :(

Hah, that's amazing! I love ThinkGeek. But I hate the shipping costs to the UK.

Just got the large plush turrent (with sounds) and a plush companion cube. Not cheap to NZ...

Given that, I can survive without this.
(Although someone will come up with a way to mod the contents of the sensing plush into this life size version...)

Inflatable? Aww.

That said, it's not like I can afford anything from Thinkgeek... with shipping for about $30 of light plastic items coming to $70! to Australia...

To be honest, this is actually the best solution you could hope for. These things are only really effective in large quantities, and this saves you the trouble of having to transport each one individually and risking losing a limb or four if you accidentally drop it, so if there was some sort of bulk purchasing option (for perhaps ten of them rather than three) this would be perfect.


Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
Register for a free account here