Uwe Boll Issues "Four Screens Fiasco" Statement

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Oh brilliant, an absolute idiot who, impossibly, takes himself seriously as a movie maker now has a message.

I don't get all the Boll hate. Really, I don't. Yes, he's full of himself, yes, his movies range from god awful to just plain bad. But that's it. I actually have seen every game-movie he made and I still live. Some of those experiences I somewhat regret, others have come to be rather ridiculous memories.

"House of the Dead" got exactly the movie it deserved... come on, the game itself is painfully stupid, which is what makes it enjoyable. Anybody bashing the movie for its hilarious mockery of a story should go back and play the game once more.
Okay, "Bloodrayne" really was aweful... instead of having a big busted half-vampire chop up Nazis while searching for some mysterious artifact, we got a complete failure of a movie that didn't contain anything that made the game enjoyable. The second Bloodrayne wasn't much better in that aspect, but somehow managed to be endurable.
"Alone in the dark" actually inspired me to write one of the most hilarious movie reviews I've ever done (I sometimes write small reviews for a private forum), but yes, it was awful beyond comprehension. Even more painful since the original game would have provided a good story, setting and character, but instead of that Boll chose to screw Carnby over and have some awkward excuse for a story.
I've actually seen "Postal" and have to admit that this is probably Boll's best take on a game so far. That doesn't mean it's good, the gags most of the times are too stupid to even warrant a mere smile, but it's not half as bad as I expected it to be. It's a slapstick comedy that just tries to hard to be offensive, which fails.
"Dungeon Siege" was... well... probably the worst Boll film I've seen so far. I'm actually happy that the PS3 can play movies at one and a half times the normal speed, including sound. That made the second half of the film just so much more enjoyable, which I probably couldn't have seen through without that.

Have I missed any?
Anyway: Stop hating that guy. There are lots of people out there making awful movies and believing they're the king of the hill. I've seen far worse movies than Boll's. He isn't a Spielberg for sure, and he may be raping game franchises by the dozens, but it's not like game movies are known for their quality and sticking with the game too closely anyway, and nobody's forcing you to watch his movies.

matches81:
Stuffs

Wow, that's the first person I've ever seen give off Boll love.

PurpleRain:

matches81:
Stuffs

Wow, that's the first person I've ever seen give off Boll love.

Er, I wouldn't call that Boll love....

thebobmaster:

PurpleRain:

matches81:
Stuffs

Wow, that's the first person I've ever seen give off Boll love.

Er, I wouldn't call that Boll love....

thx, that would have been my answer, too.
I only said that I don't understand why everybody hates Boll that much. He's just a guy who makes crappy to bad movies, that's it. Get over it already. And don't rate his movies when you never saw them.

pasquinelli:
silent hill was a pretty good game to film conversion, i thought.

Well, the first half was, until they let the acting really take over, tried to force feed the plot in teh last 10 minutes, and had the least Silent Hill-ish 10minutes ever when it ended up being a mindless blood orgy, and no subtlety.

But yeah, the bloke in the toilets was a legendary moment.

With Uwe Boll, I'm the only one on the planet that doesn't think he's a bad director from a technical perspective. I've only seen Alone in the Dark, and the shooting, lighting, acting of the main character, and just the visuals as a whole were at least to standards with any other Hollywood film.

The problem I found with the film was the story. If Uwe actually dropped his ego, hired a decent screenwriter to write a script, he could at least make a mediocre film if nothing else.

What exactly is a "stupid race"?

He's probably referring to Americans in general. His opinion, not mine.

Dectilon:
If anyone... ANYONE doubts the complete lunacy of the big Boll, do read The Quoteable Uwe Bolls in this review: http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/rants/AloneInTheDark/

Thanks for that link. Just read the article and I qoute: "He truly is the most inept, schnitzel-sucking son of a bitch to ever stand behind a camera."

lmao

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