Funcom Employee Fired for Cybersex in Conan

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Funcom Employee Fired for Cybersex in Conan

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A bit of online, in-game sex has resulted in the rapid unemployment of one Funcom employee.

An unnamed Game Master for Funcom's Age of Conan has been caught by an in-game passerby having internet nookie with another player.

After player who claimed to be a real-life female summoned a male Game Master, they traveled to a remote location in the world and began to describe innuendo-laden sexual acts. The resulting banter may be the most scandalous game-related sex act since San Andreas's "Hot Coffee."

An excerpt below shows the conversation started somewhat innocently (The screen name of the androgynous offender has been renamed "Candy"):

Candy: ..with dual wield barbarians though, I mean TWO?!?! That's a bit difficult for me to handle. I'd rather stick with one big sword.
|GM|: You like it rough I take it :)
Candy: Of Course, I'm a ***ing rock sniffer.
Candy: With daggers.
Candy: And I'm specced for second wind =) I can go all night.
|GM|: lol wow, I don't think I would ever be the same :)
|GM|: um WOw this is turning me on lol.
Candy: Hong Says he wants in on the hot action. But he's a gold farmer/seller. How do you feel about that? He does have a big bow =]

The foreplay flared up from there, with the GM at one point even asking if the player was indeed a woman and above age, which it confirmed:

|GM|: er.. how old are you (hopefully not under 18 lol)
Candy: I'm 9.
|GM|: OMG
Candy: "_-
Candy: Want to be my daddy? Remember, I do like roleplaying ^_--
|GM|: oh nice...
|GM|: um your not really 9 are you? I just want to be sure lol
Candy: Come on... do I sound like I'm 9? What 9 year old knows about glory holes?

The discussion quickly devolved into good ol' web wanking (words modified for work safety are in italics):

|GM|: what if I rip your panties off and massage you hard till I am satisfied?
Candy: That sounds perfect
Candy: Going to use clobber? :P
|GM|: Want to feel you get really wet so I can put just the head of my barnyard animal inside you and use my hand to navigate the depths of my love for you and making you take it all.

The plot twist occurred when the gamer revealed herself to actually be a man:

Candy: You're just as kinky as me
Candy: Infact you're so kinky, you just cybered with a dude :P
Candy shouts: THIS IS SPARTA
|GM|: then when you are really hot and needing more I can reposition and slide my wet tongue up your face and do small circles again around your belly button and then let my tongue trail down your chin.
|GM|: oh that would really be not good lol
Candy: Love you =]
Candy: By the way, I've been fapping to this the whole time.
|GM|: lol why did you want this then lol you gay?
|GM|: are you serious?
Candy: Serious about what?
|GM|: um what's fapping (not up to par on the ling) lol
Candy: I was joking about the fapping, but I am indeed a dude.
|GM|: lol ok.
|GM|: Glad I put my clothes back on lol
Candy: Yeah probably a good idea. I have aids.

The consequence of this conversation resulted in the firing of the offending GM.

"We are aware of this matter, and necessary measures have been taken against them. We have clear guidelines for all employees in Funcom, not least those who work with customer service, and if the guidelines are broken there are consequences," stated Funcom representative Erling Ellingsen. "This is the behaviour that is not accepted by Funcom."

Multiple lessons could be sucked from this sexual escapade. If one is attempting cyber-coitus, stick to a strict definition of "isolation." More importantly, if you're found, let the straggler join in, lest he post screenshots of your actions on message boards.

Sources: MMORPG.com, Itavisen via Destructoid

Permalink

Candy:
I was joking about the fapping, but I am indeed a dude.

I can't quite describe in words quite how hilarious/depressing that is.

I lol'd hard, I wonder what they actually said to him when they fired him, and what the exact rule was that he broke, cause it had to be funny.

Sounds like they fired the guy becase he proved himself a grade a idiot.

The marvels of the internet ladies and gentlemen!

I just don't get one thing about this, of all paces for people to have conversations of a sexual nature (with strangers mind you)...why an online game?

PedroSteckecilo:
Sounds like they fired the guy becase he proved himself a grade a idiot.

Or utterly unprofessional.

wow what a great story it had every thing action, drama, love and a sad ending

XD :D......... XD
Wow what a moron, sucks to be him

thebobmaster:

PedroSteckecilo:
Sounds like they fired the guy becase he proved himself a grade a idiot.

Or utterly unprofessional.

You clearly know nothing about the workings of businesses. People get fired for being Grade-A idots every day!

Johnn Johnston:

thebobmaster:

PedroSteckecilo:
Sounds like they fired the guy becase he proved himself a grade a idiot.

Or utterly unprofessional.

You clearly know nothing about the workings of businesses. People get fired for being Grade-A idots every day!

Yes, but in this case, I lean towards unprofessional.

How about for being unprofessionally idiotic

SilentHunter7:
How about for being unprofessionally idiotic

Ah, the perfect balance.

There's so much fun for this. That an employee of a company named "Funcom" engaged in cybersex. That "Candy" is a guy.

I like to wonder what this poor sucker will do now. I'd like to think he'll get some job for a company developing videogames for children.

Well, after LAUGHING MY PALE WHITE ASS OFF, I do say, at least the WoW game masters that use macros for every second comment do so with proper English. That game master can't be older than twenty, bleeding Christ did that strain my mental auto-correcting faculties.

When you saw that they were selling this game on sex apeal alone (the ads right here on the Escapist even) didn't you see this coming?

Oh, yea, and FAIL

Well, that's what you get for cyberboinkin'. A swift boot outta the door!

haha, if people want to do that its fine by me, i mean the GM wasn't annoying the player, she.. or should i say he was having a laugh.

They fired him!?

I'd fast-track him to the head of PR and marketing! Heck, its a lot better than their idiotic attempts at attracting attention recently! 'Oh, look! We're better than WoW! Well, kinda. Maybe. Ish. For the first ten levels, anyway!'

But now, it's 'COME TO US AND WE HAVE CYBERSEX WITH YOU!'

That is novelty.

I laughed so hard reading this.

Candy: Yeah probably a good idea. I have aids.

I think that was the best part.

Still doesn't help that I live and work near their US customer support office. Which means he lives around here somewhere.

Now imagine him explaining why he got fired to his next place of employment.

Oh jeez xD

Is this even real? It just seems to hilarious. Even moreso if the boss could keep a straight face after reading the log.

Oh come on.

This is the oldest griefer game in the book, lure someone into a cyber-sex encounter and post it.
I can't believe you guys are feeding this nonsense by giving it column inches.

Yeah, can the GM cause he proved hes too damn stoopid to be trusted with GM powers. But lets all otherwise grow up and get lives, shall we?

Melaisis:
They fired him!?

I'd fast-track him to the head of PR and marketing! Heck, its a lot better than their idiotic attempts at attracting attention recently! 'Oh, look! We're better than WoW! Well, kinda. Maybe. Ish. For the first ten levels, anyway!'

But now, it's 'COME TO US AND WE HAVE CYBERSEX WITH YOU!'

That is novelty.

No... that's second life.

You have to pay for it with $L though.

I wonder where in his mind he figured "this sound sweet! let's put my job on the line!".

Cyberqat:

Melaisis:
They fired him!?

I'd fast-track him to the head of PR and marketing! Heck, its a lot better than their idiotic attempts at attracting attention recently! 'Oh, look! We're better than WoW! Well, kinda. Maybe. Ish. For the first ten levels, anyway!'

But now, it's 'COME TO US AND WE HAVE CYBERSEX WITH YOU!'

That is novelty.

No... that's second life.

You have to pay for it with $L though.

Actually, in Second life its worse.

In second life, you actually have to pay for your penis. Its morbid =/

Lt. Sera:
I wonder where in his mind he figured "this sound sweet! let's put my job on the line!".

It wasn't his job.

The AoC GMs are volunteers.

A very very bad idea... putting volunteers in charge of running your tens of millions of dollars project. But when you don't care enough abt your customers to do real customer support, its about the only option.

Btw... I don't get it...

Why does it being a "real life female" matter or not?

( A ) Your not really sticking your dick in anything other then maybe your left hand

and

( B ) Aren't there plenty of 'real life females' you'ld not want to do? I know there sure are oens I wouldn't.

How does knowing that the other set of hands on a keyboard have some boobs attached and don't have a dick really matter??

It seems to me this is the equivalent of having to know that a porno novel you just picked up was written by a women to somehow make it "alright."

So relax, homophobes of America. Reading and even enjoying sexy stuff about a woman written by a guy does NOT "make you gay."

HAAHAHAHAHAA oh man, GM just got totally trolled, this "Candy" is an epic troll. I salute him, in all his glory!

Sib:
HAAHAHAHAHAA oh man, GM just got totally trolled, this "Candy" is an epic troll. I salute him, in all his glory!

new to the online world, huh? This is just about the oldest and stalest trick in the troll handbook.

Wow, i can't stop laughing my head off...
Just... Wow lol.

Cyberqat:
It wasn't his job.

The AoC GMs are volunteers.

A very very bad idea... putting volunteers in charge of running your tens of millions of dollars project. But when you don't care enough abt your customers to do real customer support, its about the only option.

Wow, that is a major flaw. Who figured that would be a great idea?

Lol if you sad enough to do it then once it has this much publicity I would say thats punishment enough (although I might put up a few 4 foot banners in the office with pics of him, screen shots and quotes)

Lt. Sera:
Wow, that is a major flaw. Who figured that would be a great idea?

It's free.

As for the GM, well, my question is why couldn't he just go online and look up pornography? It seems less risky...

AHAHAHAHAAHA BARNYARD ANIMAL!!!11

sorry bout the caps XD

But really, I think cybersex is the most ridiculous thing humans can do. Yeah, i feel embarrased as a human that other humans do that. I can just imagine that guy's dog watching him thinking "Wtf? Freak, I'm going to go take a dump on the doormat and YOU can clean it up...dumbass"

Holy shit, holy shit-- I'm tearing up here. This is the best thing I've seen in weeks.

This is like, the gamer's equivalent of the Bill Clinton scandal.

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