Worst Gaming Foods: Spiffy or Spoiled?

Worst Gaming Foods: Spiffy or Spoiled?

image

Does digging into unusual edible gaming goodies temp your taste buds or turn your stomach? You decide.

Many avid videogame enthusiasts have their own ritual crap - I mean "snacks" - they enjoy when locked in marathon sessions behind the controller, but the emergence of food branded with videogame themes and imagery still remains a curiosity. The intrepid folks over at Asylum have compiled an intriguing collection of the "worst gaming foods" culled from the annals of gaming history's past and present that's guaranteed to make even the most stalwart gastronomists cringe.

Unsurprisingly, the bulk of the entries cited fall into the 1980s breakfast cereal category. Some of the earliest forerunners to modern day gaming snacks were best enjoyed drenched in milk first thing in the morning. From the Atari age, Donkey Kong, Q-Bert, and Pac-Man all received the kids cereal treatment, but the best was the ultra cool Nintendo Cereal System that sported both Zelda and Mario-themed crunchy goodness. This was one trend that should absolutely be brought back. I'd love to start my day with a nice bowl of BioShock puffs, Resident Evil crispies or Animal Crossing flakes.

With modern times comes quintuple the calories, which is why KFC's box of death is being marketed to counteract the energy burning potential of Guitar Hero World Tour. For slightly less artery-clogging action, I'm partial to the Pikachu Mac-N-Cheese.

The list gets a little sketchier, when venturing into the uncertain realm of gaming beverages. I can't imagine the hyperactive twitchiness induced by theHalo 3-themed Mountain Dew "Game Fuel" is going to do much to help your game. The Resident Evil "T-Virus Antidote" is suspect simply because any drink associated with zombies gives me great pause. Also, the eerily vague "Final Fantasy Potion" is another elixir that's best untouched. I think I'll stick with my Colt 45; it work's every time. Just ask Lando Calrissian.

Permalink

I like how they call it the "Nintendo Cereal System".

I don't think all gamer drinks are weird. While I've never had the pleasure to drink one, I like the idea of Mana Potions. They're appropriate to their source material, not overly marketed, and just as a real mana potion would be, sound completely unstable.

This makes me wish I was born in the 80s. I've always wanted to try the Mario and Zelda cereal, and I agree that they should bring that stuff back. Imagine "Left 4 Dead: Rations Cereal", or "Fallout 3 Nuke-O's. No Rads here!". And, for some weird reason, the Pokemon Mac-N-Cheese tastes better than the regular kind.

This thread, it's alive! Run!!!

New brand Nuka-Cola, 97% rad free!
Mario's Mari-o cereal! Marshmallow coins and crunchy wheat koopas!
Left 4 Dead Ration Paste! PURE protein and other nutrients liqufied and super compressed into a 5ml tube for your convenience! [Servings per package: 140]
TEAM FORTRESS 2 ORIGINAL FLAVOUR BONK! ATOMIC PUNCH. ALSO COMES IN CHERRY FISSION AND BLUTONIUM FLAVOUR! [Note: May cause heart attack in 67% of cases. Can cause cancer. Drink at your own risk]
Fresh Sandvich in a Box. 120 nutritional points!
The list of possiblilities goes on...and then on and on and on.

Zombify:
This makes me wish I was born in the 80s. I've always wanted to try the Mario and Zelda cereal, and I agree that they should bring that stuff back. Imagine "Left 4 Dead: Rations Cereal", or "Fallout 3 Nuke-O's. No Rads here!". And, for some weird reason, the Pokemon Mac-N-Cheese tastes better than the regular kind.

image

Necro old pointless threads is bad.

It says Super Mario Bros but isn't that the Fake SMB2? Those nintendo sponsored candies are just terrbile though.

Heh. Reminds me of a time I used to eat gummy nitendo chracter sort of things.

At least that's what I think they were. They were odd, rather nice though.

oliveira8:

image

Necro old pointless threads is bad.

Forgive me, oh supreme Escapist god, for posting on a thread that I thought was interesting. It's not like the date matters or anything. I guess it's my fault for not looking at the date the thread was created...

Douk:
It says Super Mario Bros but isn't that the Fake SMB2? Those nintendo sponsored candies are just terrbile though.

That is the U.S. SMB2, but the Zelda game shown on the box was also Zelda II: Link's Adventure. I guess they wanted them to match. I think there were also boxes with artwork from the first games, with Link saying "We've rescued breakfast!".

eh. the t-virus antidote tastes like rockstar.

 

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here