Star Trek Nerd Robs Convenience Stores

Star Trek Nerd Robs Convenience Stores

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Colorado Springs police are on the lookout for a convenience store robbery suspect described by witnesses as wearing blue jeans and a black jacket, with long, unkempt hair, sharpened teeth, distinct forehead ridges and a surly disposition.

KMGH Denver reports that the suspect knocked over two 7-Eleven stores in Colorado early this morning, the first at 1:50 am and the second at roughly 2:20. And while he may not have actually been a Klingon (yes, I made that part up) he did commit his crimes using a bat'leth, a traditional Klingon sword.

The "Sword of Honor" is a crescent-shaped weapon, with hand-holds along the outer edge and spikes protruding from the bladed inner edge. The first bat'leth was forged by the Klingon hero Kahless, who placed a lock of his hair into the molten lava of the Kri'stak Volcano, then plunged it into the Lake of Lursor, twisting and forging it into a weapon. With it, he defeated the tyrant Molor and united Qo'noS, an act which would ultimately lead to the foundation of the mighty Klingon Empire. Modern bat'leths are typically forged from baakonite and although they are primarily a ceremonial weapon, many Klingon warriors are well-practiced in their use and take part in ritualized tournaments that test their prowess and skill with the blade.

Whether or not the thief knew any of this as he embarked on his criminal career is an open question, but it's safe to say that brandishing the weapon made famous by Lt. Worf made an appropriately nerd-worthy impression on one of the clerks he approached: While the suspect made off with an undisclosed sum from the first store, the attendant at the second store apparently refused to take him seriously and the would-be warrior meekly withdrew, empty handed. I guess shouting "nob jiH Huch!" isn't as intimidating as it looks on television.

Q'apla!

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I was just thinking today how cool it would be to have a bat'leth on my wall, guess some people decide to take cool looking blades of the future a bit too far.

I am lost for words...

WTF, Klingons don't steal money, they kill people for honour, this ass hole is ruining it for everyone else!

The bat'leth is one of the most useless fictional weapons that exists (well, doesn't). Although I guess it would be pretty deadly to a skinny, unarmed convenience store clerk.

This is funny as hell. Wrong of course but still funny.

The Bat'leth is a very cool weapon/sword. It is not useless in any shape or form.

I would LOVE to have one of these.

that is kind of awesome hehe

Sadly, cops are probably not big enough nerds to make use of the relative rarity of a bat'leth to track him down.

OTOH, that's gotta win him some kind of award for originality.

Nice, very very random, but kind of awesome. : )

DID THEY USE PHASERS
No?
Awh...

Digikid:
This is funny as hell. Wrong of course but still funny.

The Bat'leth is a very cool weapon/sword. It is not useless in any shape or form.

I would LOVE to have one of these.

I agree, I've got one and it's not useless at all.

I bought it from some imitation armoury, it's not an official Star Trek replica, it's actually a proper weapon. It's larger than the one in the picture, made of heavy steel and it's horrifically sharp.

I've chopped a broom handle cleanly in two just by blocking a strike, it can slice through a turnip like it was a boiled egg and I'd imagine it could easily fatally wound someone, even by accident.

I wouldn't want to face anyone armed with a sharp one, even an amateur, just because some much of it is sharp that it would be difficult to grab hold of without being cut, and because it's quite heavy, they wouldn't even need to thrust it at you with a lot of force to cause some serious damage.

I just pity any Star Trek fan who buys a cheap imitation Bat'leth instead of an official replica for a re-enactment/cosplay.
Instead of a prop they'd find themselves in possession of a very heavy, sharp, unwieldy and deadly weapon and would probably end up seriously injuring themselves or a friend.

That has just made my day, Q'apla, I say! Q'apla!

Wait, a guy robed a convenience store with a bal'leth? Holy crap that's awesome.

I've never even watched Star Trek, and I thought this was awesome.

Malygris:
the attendant at the second store apparently refused to take him seriously and the would-be warrior meekly withdrew

Priceless.

Jamash:
I bought it from some imitation armoury, it's not an official Star Trek replica, it's actually a proper weapon. It's larger than the one in the picture, made of heavy steel and it's horrifically sharp.

I've chopped a broom handle cleanly in two just by blocking a strike, it can slice through a turnip like it was a boiled egg and I'd imagine it could easily fatally wound someone, even by accident.

I wouldn't want to face anyone armed with a sharp one, even an amateur, just because some much of it is sharp that it would be difficult to grab hold of without being cut, and because it's quite heavy, they wouldn't even need to thrust it at you with a lot of force to cause some serious damage.

They might be dangerous but they are silly weapons. They are heavy, poorly balanced, and have little reach. In a real battle someone with a real weapon (oh, like a SWORD) would dispatch someone with a play weapon (oh, like one of these things) post haste.

wow some people have absolutlesy no hope

I hate to rain on everyone's parade, but if you go to the actual article and look at the (admittedly grainy) security image, the twerp's not wielding a bat'leth. It looks a lot more like the Kit Rae fantasy knife, the Valdris (seen here: http://www.swordsdirect.com/valdris.html). Don't get me wrong, he's still a loser, especially once you consider that aside from the points on the knife, it's not threatening at all - it has no sharp cutting edges on it anywhere.

Some people's children...

"hmmm should I rob the store with a gun or a knife? fuck it, I'll go with an incredibly nerdy and useless weapon."

This is just too funny.

His cowardice dishonors all true Klingons.

Haha that's hilarious.

On a serious note, a blade like this is a terrible weapon. Very ineffective and unusable.

WOW!!!...thank you so very much... that is the most awsome thing ever

"nob jiH Huch"? What you mean is jIHvaD Huch yInob!
Also, it's Qapla', not "Q'apla".

Anyway, amusing story, but this guy is definitely lacking in honor.

Yeesh, what is with all the thread necromancy lately?

mattttherman3:
WTF, Klingons don't steal money, they kill people for honour, this ass hole is ruining it for everyone else!

I thought burger king did with those "kingon" ads

as for this, I really don't know what to say...

Thats it im grabbing my light saber and getting some easy money. Seiously though, he probably wanted to buy another Kirk poster.

He ran when challenged! He is a petaQ!

 

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