Pornhub Is Crowdfunding The First Space Porno

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gewata:

CrystalShadow:
Hold on. Hold on. the universe's first?

Bit presumptious isn't it?
The universe is a big place...

Surely, there must be a species somewhere that has tried this, right? Right!?

The first time humans have had sex in space, certainly. Well, unless there's something the ISS crew isn't telling us...

Well, yes, yes. But the first line in the article just says 'first pornographic film' It didn't specify it involved humans... XD

And honestly, who know what astronauts have got up to. The space shuttle. The ISS... Mir...
There's been a a few chances... And that's assuming everyone involved is straight... Otherwise... XD

CrystalShadow:
Hold on. Hold on. the universe's first?

Bit presumptious isn't it?
The universe is a big place...

Surely, there must be a species somewhere that has tried this, right? Right!?

To be accurate: The Glarboxians from Thektaar Pialphazeta actually tried to do it long ago. But once they were in orbit they remembered that their species is asexual and reproduces through mitosis.
To cover up this massive waste of taxpayer money the Glarboxian government decided to sacrifice the crew and activated the self destruct functionality of the spacecraft. 3.5 brave crew members died that day.

OT:
I'm disappointed with myself.
Normally I'm the kind of person that can make a dirty joke about everything. But this is just so wonderful that I have no words.
This is how a Christian must feel when he sees god.

I have a bad feeling something is going to go wrong and explode during launch...that wasn't a premature ejaculation joke.

CAPTCHA: pick the opposite: inside
Too late CAPTCHA...too late...

To quote one of the earliest Arthur C. Clarke books I remember reading, Imperial Earth:

No wonder that the most popular item in the ship's library these last few days had been the Nasa Sutra, an old book and an old joke, explained so often that it was no longer funny.

I'm rather split on this one.

On one hand they're probably gonna use the Russian space tourism program, since it's the affordable option, and Roscosmos needs all the money it can get, so it's all for the greater good. And honestly, every piece of wanking material that tries something new (and legal) deserves some love.

But on the other - it would mean that they'll do it aboard a Soyuz craft, a product of the Union's sacred technological heritage. Grandfathers would NOT approve.
Every time I'm trying to picture the filming process I just see Lenin looking at me with a mixture of sadness and disappointment.

My God... it's full of Pornstars...

Fappy:

bz316:
This is a doomed plan if the porno involved a man. Low gravity decreases blood pressure and circulation, so its probably not even possible for a man to get an erection in space.

I for one would be thrilled if the first space porn was girl-on-girl. Who's with me?

Fucking sold! Maybe we should go all out on this one, get the, to dress up as sci-fi characters to really go the full experience.

kannibus:
My God... it's full of Pornstars...

I can't let you do that Dave.

Full load of jokes aside. Who the fuck will actually take them to space on that shoestring of a budget... most of it will be spent on crew and equipment before even launching, unless they have secondary investors lined up this is complete bullshit.

Is the ship going to PROBE Uranus! Who's going to be MOUNTED in the COCKPIT, will it be Major BLOWHARD! Who's the captain, James D. Kirk, or maybe they'll get DICK DANGER! You know what they say, in space no one can hear you cum! Will The Alien guest star so that he can EAT OUT one of the crew! Are they going to have foreign RELATIONS with the aliens! Are they going to THRUST themselves into the frontlines of a war!

steampro:

Adam Jensen:

Objectable:
Fund it. Everybody go fund this now.
We need to do this for science!

No we don't. They should fund this crap on their own. I don't particularly like the porn industry. Hardly anything in this world is more shallow than that.

What, you didn't ask for porn?

Why, no, I don't think he ever asked for this.

Made me laugh, but I think it's a stupid waste of money that could be spent on serious space stuff instead.

Secondhand Revenant:
Made me laugh, but I think it's a stupid waste of money that could be spent on serious space stuff instead.

No one is going to fund serious space stuff. Plus it would be a world first. How often do you get the chance to make history.

It's downright embarrassing that it's taken this long (let's not kid ourselves; sex and violence are our species' specialties). I have contacted NASA, CNSA, and Roscosmos; the official word, as you might expect, is that no one has ever had sex in space. Whether that's true or not is another question, but it's good that someone's finally stepping up... supposedly. Even if you're just going suborbital, $3.4 million isn't going to get you much- especially given the specialized equipment and training you're going to need. Unless they've got another major funding source, I fear we may be looking at a scam of some sort here.

bz316:
This is a doomed plan if the porno involved a man. Low gravity decreases blood pressure and circulation, so its probably not even possible for a man to get an erection in space.

Actually no. Some years back, a space themed pornographic film (entitled "The Uranus Experiment 2" or somesuch) was made that featured a (brief) penis in vagina scene in simulated zero gravity, which you can do with a special plane flying in a parabolic arc, the ones they use to train astronauts because you get lots of Gs followed by freefall.

Not only did the man get an erection in simulated zero gravity, he was able to get one very soon after taking serious Gs. But, yeah, professional porn star and all.

The details of this intrigue me...I'm under the impression that this was too expensive to practice, and with very little time in freefall to film, so the cast would have to endure the G-force, and be ready to go right away afterwards in an environment that they'd have had no experience with. Now, as well as the inevitable problems of various bodily fluids floating around in freefall, apparently throwing up is very common in these planes (the US version is nicknamed the "Vomit Comet"), so could easily have ended up with impromptu vomit porn.

The scene was nominated for a Nebula award (and I can see why), but didn't win (and I can see why).

Looks like this may actually happen, seeing the indigogo page of pornhub. It's just going to take some time.

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