New Study Finds That Hot Dogs ARE PEOPLE! THEY'RE PEOPLE!!

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New Study Finds That Hot Dogs ARE PEOPLE! THEY'RE PEOPLE!!

Like hot dogs? Well, that's probably because you're a cannibal.

With the exception of apple pie or maybe the KFC Double Down, it's hard to think of a food more "American" than hot dogs. Whether being served by the thousands at baseball stadiums or being grilled up at our 4th of July parties, hot dogs are the quintessential cuisine of this country, which really sheds some light on our current obesity epidemic (see also: the success of the KFC Double Down).

But perhaps more confounding than the hot dog's popularity here in America is its popularity in spite of the fact that we know next to nothing about what they're actually made from -- you know, aside from animal butts, which we seemingly have no problem with. Unfortunately for us, it turns out that a surprising amount of the mystery in America's favorite mystery meat, like soylent green before it, is people.

That's according to a recent study by Clear Food -- a company which "uses genomic technology to analyze the world's foods at a molecular level, ingredient by ingredient" -- at least. After rounding up 345 samples from 75 brands and 10 retailers, Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples. Perhaps even more horrifying was the study's findings that human DNA was also present in 2/3rds of the vegetarian samples.

You heard it here first: We are all cannibals, but especially vegetarians.

Not only that, but Clear Food also found that nearly 15% of the hot dogs they tested faced "substitution" issues in some way, meaning that "chicken, beef, turkey, and lamb were found in products that were not supposed to contain those ingredients. Pork (was found) in 3% of the samples we tested. In most cases, pork found its way into chicken and turkey sausages."

While these substitution issues should raise a red flag in their own right, they are undoubtedly less shocking when compared to the fact that we have all been eating people this entire time. Does that make Joey Chestnut this generation's Jeffrey Dahmer? Yes, yes it does.

Head over to Clear Food for more fun (read: abhorrent) facts about the hot dog, including several handy little infographs that will make you want to skip lunch entirely.

Source: Nature World Report

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I thought Humans and pigs had very similar DNA structure, which is why they're one of the Animals Geneticists love playing with? This "2% of Human DNA in Hotdogs" might be a simple misunderstanding by the test or something.

How it's in the Vegan Hotdogs, though, I don't know. Either way, it's a good thing I don't like Hot Dogs.

We all knew that hot dogs contain "meat(and bi-meat)-products", so it's not that shocking..

What I would want clarified is whether they contain 2% PURE Human DNA or 2% OF Human DNA?
There is a world of difference in just one word.

We really should hold food companies to a higher standard anyway.

For the first time in my life, I find myself wishing this had just been clickbait.

I don't care if it's has human in it, i'm still gonna eat the stuff.

Mr.Mattress:
I thought Humans and pigs had very similar DNA structure, which is why they're one of the Animals Geneticists love playing with? This "2% of Human DNA in Hotdogs" might be a simple misunderstanding by the test or something.

How it's in the Vegan Hotdogs, though, I don't know. Either way, it's a good thing I don't like Hot Dogs.

Vendor-Lazarus:
We all knew that hot dogs contain "meat(and bi-meat)-products", so it's not that shocking..

What I would want clarified is whether they contain 2% PURE Human DNA or 2% OF Human DNA?
There is a world of difference in just one word.

We really should hold food companies to a higher standard anyway.

Unless I'm missing something, having looked at the original report linked in the article, it actually says:

Hygienic issues: Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples, and in 2/3rds of the vegetarian samples.

So it's 2% of the samples that contain any human DNA, not that the samples are 2% human DNA in composition. Which makes more sense, and is not entirely unreasonable, given our species tendency to shed skin cells everywhere we go.

I am more shocked and disgusted that the friggin Dramatic Look Gopher was used in the article. Not only that, but passed up a brilliant opportunity for a Soylent Green joke, for shame!

TheRundownRabbit:
[...]Not only that, but passed up a brilliant opportunity for a Soylent Green joke, for shame!

Have you seen the title?

Aeshi:
For the first time in my life, I find myself wishing this had just been clickbait.

Well, it is. Sort of. It is actually

Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples

Source: http://www.clearfood.com/food_reports/2015/the_hotdog_report

Food contamination is likely the culprit and it isn't clear what concentration was found. Clear Food is likely to phrase their finding in such a way to get people more interested in finding which brands have a good 'clear score.' They currently have a kickstarter running right now so that is a clear motivation for them.

They do appear to have science behind it as their page does include a short blurb about the process. However, I would like more information about their methodology as the vegetarian contamination is both high and problematic assuming the amounts found were of any significance.

Well... Out of 345 samples 2% had human DNA in them... so there are seven brands they found human in.

Things I want to know:

1. The name of all seven brands.
2. How much human DNA in each.
3. Is it possible to detect whether or not the Humans found in vegetarian hot dogs had themselves previously been vegetarians? Because it might not be false advertisement if so...

I seriously don't believe this. It just sounds like publicity for whatever company that clear food is, or for whatever company magically passed all of these tests.

Also, as someone else stated, pig and human are very similar.

I'm more concerned by the substitution issues.

I hate saying this, but the clickbait is strong with this article. I'd assume small factory issues make finding human DNA in most, if not all of the food we eat, a practically unavoidable issue. Take someone's half-finished dinner plate and you've got human DNA mixed in with the meal's constituting elements. Take someone else's wine glass and there ya go - human DNA.

Saying we eat human DNA or particulates of skin and hair is like saying the sky is blue. I'm pretty sure I've eaten my own microscopic skin flakes before, and you don't see me crying about cannibalism.

If anything, I was hoping we'd hear something about the OMS finding that most meat sources are likely to be carcinogenic, but there ya go. Mind you, I'd amend the WHO's findings by saying that everything is carcinogenic when excessively absorbed.

Misleading titles all around.

The report isn't implying that hot dogs contain 2% human meat. It's stating that, of the 345 samples, 2% contained traces of human DNA. This is likely from the usual contamination that occurs from food processing and packaging. (things like dead skin cells, hair, etc)

I'd wager you'll find more human DNA in your food when you go out to a restaurant to eat.

Also from the report:
"We first test food products for DNA using Clear Labs' proprietary next-generation genomic sequencing workflow. We assign a significant weight to DNA-based data, factoring in DNA degradation and signal parameters (some ingredients might not have DNA or their DNA might have degraded). We screen for major, medium, minor & trace substitution, and we deduct points on the substitution axis. We attempt to capture all ingredients within a sample, but certain foods might not be homogenous (in this case results might not capture the entirety of the product)."

Bolded part by me. I'm curious what their proprietary process entails and how well it accounts for (and can factor out) human error, sample contamination, and other anomalies.

So that's how the pork-free hot dogs got that flavour...

Click bait. Sigh, don't turn into vg247. There aren't many sites left out there that can actually report news without derpy headlines like this.

Vigormortis:
Misleading titles all around.

The report isn't implying that hot dogs contain 2% human meat. It's stating that, of the 345 samples, 2% contained traces of human DNA. This is likely from the usual contamination that occurs from food processing and packaging. (things like dead skin cells, hair, etc)

I'd wager you'll find more human DNA in your food when you go out to a restaurant to eat.

Also from the report:
"We first test food products for DNA using Clear Labs' proprietary next-generation genomic sequencing workflow. We assign a significant weight to DNA-based data, factoring in DNA degradation and signal parameters (some ingredients might not have DNA or their DNA might have degraded). We screen for major, medium, minor & trace substitution, and we deduct points on the substitution axis. We attempt to capture all ingredients within a sample, but certain foods might not be homogenous (in this case results might not capture the entirety of the product)."

Bolded part by me. I'm curious what their proprietary process entails and how well it accounts for (and can factor out) human error, sample contamination, and other anomalies.

I'd say it is news that 2/3rds of vegetarian brands had human in them. If they weren't vegetarian then there's a mislabeling issue that need to be addressed.

I'd also like to know all 7 brands out of the 345 that had it.

koroem:
Click bait. Sigh, don't turn into vg247. There aren't many sites left out there that can actually report news without derpy headlines like this.

Human meat being in our food is legit news. There are even plays and books written about the concept. This study found 7 brands of hotdogs have human in them and 66% of vegidogs tested also had human in them.

That's pretty big considered how common hotdogs are.

Lightknight:

koroem:
Click bait. Sigh, don't turn into vg247. There aren't many sites left out there that can actually report news without derpy headlines like this.

Human meat being in our food is legit news. There are even plays and books written about the concept. This study found 7 brands of hotdogs have human in them and 66% of vegidogs tested also had human in them.

That's pretty big considered how common hotdogs are.

You must be intentionally ignoring everything else that was said. Cant explain how else you could get it so bloody wrong.

No there was no human meat in any of these products. Unless you count stuff like hairs and skin cells as human meat

Chances are some factory grunt didnt really took the hygiene rules that seriously. Wich still is a nono... but it doesnt mean there was human meat in any of these products.

Do you want to become The Onion? Because this is how you become The Onion.

Lightknight:
Human meat being in our food is legit news. [...] This study found 7 brands of hotdogs have human in them and 66% of vegidogs tested also had human in them.

They had "human DNA". Hair, dander, etc could easily be the culprit, as could sample contamination. Even if this is the case, that isn't good since human diseases can be more easily transmitted this way. But that depend quite heavily on how much is present. This doesn't even get into the chance of false positives.

Karadalis:

Lightknight:

koroem:
Click bait. Sigh, don't turn into vg247. There aren't many sites left out there that can actually report news without derpy headlines like this.

Human meat being in our food is legit news. There are even plays and books written about the concept. This study found 7 brands of hotdogs have human in them and 66% of vegidogs tested also had human in them.

That's pretty big considered how common hotdogs are.

You must be intentionally ignoring everything else that was said. Cant explain how else you could get it so bloody wrong.

No there was no human meat in any of these products. Unless you count stuff like hairs and skin cells as human meat

Chances are some factory grunt didnt really took the hygiene rules that seriously. Wich still is a nono... but it doesnt mean there was human meat in any of these products.

We "hope" it was just a hygiene issue. They don't know if it was meat or not.

But pigs were a popular way to dispose of wayward souls back in the day. Maybe there are still some mob-owned pork suppliers...

But come on, it's a few days till Halloween. Run with the "it could be human meat" angle a little longer.

Dach:

Lightknight:
Human meat being in our food is legit news. [...] This study found 7 brands of hotdogs have human in them and 66% of vegidogs tested also had human in them.

They had "human DNA". Hair, dander, etc could easily be the culprit, as could sample contamination. Even if this is the case, that isn't good since human diseases can be more easily transmitted this way. But that depend quite heavily on how much is present. This doesn't even get into the chance of false positives.

If you're diagnosing in a way to distinguish between animals then you aren't going to false positive your way into the wrong species.

HUman dna contaminating foods that are handled by people at some point in processing. Well hush my mouth. Keep in mind as a human you are going to be constantly shaddng dead skincells and dander. , Not to mantion the occasional sod who had his thumb at the wrong place and time.

Honestly. It's food. Most people would probably upchuck if they actually witness a pig being slaughtered and butchered . Me.. I knew where meat came from. ANd as a avid watchr of the discovery channel.. I know that the death we give this animals is significantly morehumane than anything else in nature. Liones start eating and crunching prey while it's still struggling and being suffocated... wolves disembowel the pay whi;e it's still running...

We us a bullet, a sledge/pneumatic hammer, axe or high voltage. YEah till dying but if you had to take your pick. I know I'd take the axe to the base of the neck any day.

Mr.Mattress:
I thought Humans and pigs had very similar DNA structure, which is why they're one of the Animals Geneticists love playing with? This "2% of Human DNA in Hotdogs" might be a simple misunderstanding by the test or something.

How it's in the Vegan Hotdogs, though, I don't know. Either way, it's a good thing I don't like Hot Dogs.

Yes, this is true. It's not a big deal. There are even theories that we associate with pigs very closely on a subconscious level, which is why they both attract and disgust us.

That said, pork is supposed to taste a lot like human meat, so if you ever wanted to know what people taste like without actually becoming a cannibal...

Eh, questionable. I would wonder how they can get a clear good DNA sample from something as highly processed as a hotdog. But, I'll not stop eating them. People or not. Not that often eat hot dogs, I barely do except for a few times per year. But I do thoroughly enjoy them those few times.

Also, the error rate for DNA labs is actually quite large at 1 in 20 reports contain errors.

Fox12:
which is why they both attract and disgust us.

Come on! Who would be disgusted by a pig? Have you seen those buggers? Cute as buttons.
Usually I get away with saying that I am a vegetarian whenever there are stories about contaminated food... At least I keep the processed stuff at a minimum and still: I don't eat all those extra yummi antibiotics.

A finger here, a finger there, someone not paying the mob. Eh, life is hard, don't sweat the small stuff. The air you breath has probably 1% of human in it, just by skin flakes, hair and maybe sweat vapor. Ok if that has traces, then even the moisture of your breath has traces of your DNA.

Queen Michael:
So that's how the pork-free hot dogs got that flavour...

Long pig is pretty tasty.

But yeah it's quite probably a case of contamination by skin flakes or hair.There is a reason why there's a slim margin on contamination like this, you can't stop it from happening.

Who knew people were so yummy?

:)

Man Flesh goes great with some sauteed onions, stuffed in a bun and topped with cheese, ketchup and mustard.

I stopped eating all processed meat about 10 years ago and I barely ever eat red meat. Hot dogs were the first to go after I watched a video of them being made. It would turn lesser men into vegans. I still eat a shitload of white meat though. Especially chicken. I could probably lay an egg.

Honestly im wondering if i should report that article to a moderator for being the worst alarmist clickbait ive ever seen on this news feed.

Hell, not even Gawker is running this as a story. Though its probably a matter of time.

This is why I always eat my hot dogs with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

47_Ronin:

Fox12:
which is why they both attract and disgust us.

Come on! Who would be disgusted by a pig? Have you seen those buggers? Cute as buttons.
Usually I get away with saying that I am a vegetarian whenever there are stories about contaminated food... At least I keep the processed stuff at a minimum and still: I don't eat all those extra yummi antibiotics.

That's what I said before I read The Grapes of Wrath O_O

But yeah, I don't really eat meat either, so I'm not personally affected. Even if I did, though, I don't think I'd let it bother me much.

Man dat Clickbait...I mean seriously talk about a misleading title, as many have already said, the "Human DNA" that clear found (which I find their figures rather suspect) is probably just some dead skins cells that sluffed off some worker and got mixed in with the meat...

JaredJones:
Clear Food found as much as 2% of human DNA in some samples.

It's 2% of them contain human DNA, not 2% of some hot dogs were human .

"Hygienic issues: Clear Food found human DNA in 2% of the samples, and in 2/3rds of the vegetarian samples."

you might wana fix that.

and yea this part is not that weird, I kinda expected it to be higher, people tend to cut themselves in slaughter houses, and humans shed skin like crazy.
One minor cut in a clump of meat that is likely to make it into 100 or so hot dogs.

As for the vegetarian, people shit/pee in fields when they work and the cuts and cuts happen during processing.

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